I believe it was Mark Twain who said there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. Or maybe it was someone else. Either way, our annual summer road trip ended on my back steps yesterday around noon and, I don’t want to speak for Gulley, but I think we all still really like each other based on the fact that the kids begged to stay together and play for the rest of the afternoon.
For the record, we said no. At this point I think a little absence will make the hearts grow fonder.
And so we are home. I have no real goals or plans for the week, but I probably need to go to the grocery store at some point because it appears we are out food/everything we have is expired. The sad part is I didn’t even know if the milk was bad because I had no idea of the actual date. I lost track somewhere around last Tuesday. So I guess my plans include making a grocery list and painting my toenails some shade of turquoise.
That probably seems like an odd goal, but I’ve wanted to try it all summer and then I went to dinner with my friend Stephanie a few weeks ago and her toes were turquoise and I thought it looked fun. Maybe it has something to do with my 40th birthday being right on the horizon and this is my answer to the mid life crisis. You have to admit it’s cheaper than a red convertible and a toupee.
So I guess the last time I reported from the road was after the kids had their silly string fight. If memory (and the blog post) serves, that was on Wednesday. We left Houston earlier that morning and drove to Bryan to see Honey and Big. Gulley and I were really hoping to find some great small town Texas cafe where we could stop and eat lunch on the way, but had to settle for Chick-Fil-A. Which is not small town, but does have the best chicken nuggets. And I don’t know if you’ve tried the chicken wrap, but I highly recommend it. It’s healthy and delicious which can’t be said of pretty much anything else I enjoy eating.
On Thursday we all slept late and then ate lunch at Ninfa’s. (You may start to feel like this whole thing is about food and it might be because I ate my way through Texas. I’m officially on detox starting six minutes ago when I ate my last Sour Patch Kid from Dylan’s Candy Bar.) Then later that afternoon we took the kids to the pool to burn a little energy and to show off their various diving board skills.
There aren’t any photos of Gulley or me going off the diving board. Mainly because we didn’t go off the diving board.
Friday morning, Gulley, Caroline and I went to visit my Nanny for the day. We took her out to eat lunch at Casa Ole’ and I’m proud to say that Gulley and I managed to get her in and out of the car without having to chase her runaway walker across the parking lot which is a huge improvement from last year.
On Friday night we headed out to watch the Brazos Valley Bombers. I happen to think Bombers games are so much more fun than the Astros, but when I made that comment out loud I’m fairly sure I got an eyeroll and a “REALLY?” from Jackson. I’m certain he was embarrassed to know me at that point. But just wait until I paint my toes turquoise. Then we’ll see who can totally pretend to be cool.
We seriously considered driving home on Saturday. I was a little concerned with Caroline’s state of mind. She was beyond tired and I could tell from the moment she woke up that it might be a day full of “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” and “YOU NEED TO BE KIND TO YOUR FRIENDS” and “DO YOU WANT TO PACK UP AND LEAVE RIGHT NOW?” But sometimes I like to throw caution to the wind, plus the kids all really wanted to go to Adamson Lagoon and why would we deny them that? Especially when we knew it would wear them out and we could put them to bed early and watch Sweet Home Alabama on CMT?
And so off we went for a day of big pool fun. The kids slid down the slides and jumped on the floating lilypad thing until Will was actually slurring his words from the tiredness. Gulley and I both agreed it had been a long time since we’d been at a pool where so many people took regular smoke breaks and ate Funyuns poolside with no shame. But it was big fun and achieved its intended purpose.
(I have a great picture of the kids at Adamson Lagoon, but it’s on my phone. And apparently my phone and my computer aren’t speaking to each other right now. Maybe it’s the same thing that happened to Will and his Kindergarten girlfriend. He told us on the trip that they “had a dump” which was his way of saying they broke up. I think my phone and computer have had a dump.)
Later that evening, Honey and Big took us all out to eat at Longhorn Tavern. We all ordered the chicken fried steak because why even go through the motions of eating healthy at this point? Caroline and I had words over her frustration that I made her order the kids’ size portion and I finally agreed that I would pay her $50 if she managed to clean her plate. A Vegas bookie would wish for these kind of odds. She’s a kid that eats two pieces of a four-piece chicken nuggets meal and can live on half a cheese cube for four days.
Needless to say, she is not $50 richer. I knew I had it in the bag when she asked, “Do I have to eat all the fries too?”
Gulley and I stayed up late with Honey on Saturday night laughing about things that happened twenty years ago and apologizing to her for all the times we were idiots and caused her to lose sleep. And then we all went to bed.
I should be embarrassed to tell you that we SET OUR ALARMS for 9:00 a.m. so we could wake up and get back to San Antonio by early afternoon. Let’s count all the reasons that setting an alarm for 9:00 a.m. is worthless.
Wait, there might be too many.
And so we were on the road by 10:00 a.m. with three kids who we’ve realized have not only grown bigger in the last year, but much, MUCH louder and with increased talents that involve fake burps. At one point I threatened to put Caroline out on the side of the road if I heard her say “diarrhea” one more time and Gulley had to turn around and ask Will why he was licking his shoe.
In other words, our 2011 summer road trip was all that we dreamed it would be.