Back to deep Olympic thoughts

I spent most of Saturday catching up on all the Olympics I’d missed while we were in the midst of the birthday festivities. Because this is what the Olympics does to me. It makes me feel like at any moment I could miss out on the moment that will define sports for years to come and I’ll have to admit to someone that I deleted it off my DVR without even watching it.

Yes. I have a problem.

But I powered through and fast forwarded through some huge chunks of competition and I think I managed to see everything that was remotely noteworthy. And if I missed something then it’s really better that I don’t know about it because I’ve since deleted all of it off the DVR.

Here are a few observations I’ve made over the last day or so:

1. That men’s sprint thing? On the weird looking bikes? Why is the first lap so slow?

I don’t understand.

It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen.

2. We fast forwarded through mens’ synchronized diving. P was in charge of the remote.

He also sometimes fast forwards through the personal stories and then I go back and watch them later because what’s the point of watching the Olympics if you don’t cry at least several times throughout the evening?

3. I felt terrible for Mckayla Maroney. And really all those vaulters that just busted their tail. Or their face in the case of that poor Russian girl.

I may start a conspiracy theory that the gold medal winner from Romania put something slippery on the landing mat that caused all her competitors to wipe out.

Considering we live in a world where people cheat at Badminton, it doesn’t feel that far-fetched.

4. On Sunday night Bob Costas actually said the words “Three hundred large” when referring to the price of an Aston-Martin.

You know what I don’t ever need to hear again?

Bob Costas saying “Three hundred large”.

5. That male gymnast from Chile totally looks like Napoleon Dynamite’s brother, Kip. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for them to flash to LaFawnduh cheering him on in the crowd.

But, alas, it never happened.

I think the biggest shock is that all this time I thought he’d been training to be a cage fighter.

6. I adore the U.S. women’s soccer team. Even if they did take minutes and perhaps even hours off my life during their game yesterday.

7. Every time they show Kate Middleton in the crowd I am overcome with hair envy. If there was a gold medal for hair she would absolutely win.

8. Did anyone else notice that Aliya Mustafina broke out in noticeable glee when Gabby Douglas made a “catastrophic” mistake on her uneven bars routine?

The look in her eye was reminiscent of Ivan Drago as he said, “I must break you” to Rocky in Rocky IV. Settle down, All About Eve.

9. This has nothing to do with the Olympics, but can anyone tell me why Snoop Dog changed his name to Snoop Lion last week and it actually showed up as a news headline?

Why does anyone take the media seriously? And why are we surprised that America is in a bad spot?

10. If you missed Missy Franklin’s interview with Bob Costas then I’m sad for you. Is it weird that I want to be friends with a sixteen year old swimmer? She has so much charm and personality.

And I hear she’s a decent swimmer.

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  1. says

    Why does mustafina always look like she’s on the verge of tears? I felt so bad for McKayla and Gabby. Also, I love Missy Franklin! Several Aggies are trying to recruit her on twitter, so…fingers crossed!

    • AngAK says

      I think they should fashion a Bratz doll in her image—-her eye makeup reminds me so of those dolls. just.too.much.

  2. aggiema (Michelle) says

    Does anybody know what is up with Bob Costas make-up? He looks horrible…..almost like a mortician did his make up or something! Is he ill? On a happier note…… Love that we have some wonderful female role models in these Olympics?

    • Colorado says

      Probably too many cosmetic procedures done to Bob Costas……. And here in Colorado we LOVE Missy!

    • Becky in 'Bama says

      Bob Costa is 60+ years old…time to lay off the hair dye and back off the stage makeup. Although I have to say I love his dry wit.

  3. says

    Apparently, Snoop recorded his newest album in Jamaica and had a “spiritual rebirth” during the process. It’s a reggae album. The lion represents his new persona and higher calling. Some say it’s like when Garth Brooks changed his name to Chris Gaines. Hopefully, this works out better for Snoop than it did for Garth!

  4. Lexi says

    The cyclists start off slow so that they can draft behind the leader and save energy. Then they get in their best positions possible to take off for the finish.

  5. Pam says

    I heard Bob say that too…….and I thought “please grow up….seriously….speak like a grown-up. You don’t need to try so hard to be hip/cool!!!”

    One of the runners lives about 20 miles from us and we are thrilled for her…..she comes from a small town Plymouth Indiana.

    Read a web site yesterday that listed many athletes that gave the glory to God for their gifts and talents…..very inspiring.

  6. says

    This has to be one of the most spot-on Olympic wrap up posts ever! Ok, number 5 – Napoleon Dynamite’s brother? Yes, yes, yes. My husband said the same exact thing. I’ve never seen the movie so I’ll have to trust y’all. (blasphemy much?) I was too enamored watching the guys on floor do their fancy little whirlybird fairy dance to get back into the corners each time. Sorry, but we giggled everytime at that. And Kate Middleton? If she didn’t seem so darn friendly all of the time, I would probably not like her very much since I am literally green over her hair. I’m in the process of the never-ending grow out of mine and the other day my stylist asked me “So how long do you want to grow it?” Well, now I have my answer – that long. Not sure that all the length in the world would make it look like that though! It’s beautiful… and annoying. : )

    • Erin D says

      read that fancy whirlybird dance referred to as “a stag leap to the corner.” delightful.

  7. Lori H says

    We decided that Bob Costas is the new Dick Clark. Same scary face-lift/youth-serum-gone-bad look. Maybe he should do the New Years Eve gig?
    I was crushed that McKayla had a bad day in her one event. I am sure it almost never happens and what a bad time for it. I have some (irrational?) irritation for Mustafina…she always looks on the verge of tears (maybe a family tragedy is playing out at home and then I’d feel really awful) and if her only moment of happiness showed when Gabby made a mistake, that makes me like her even less.
    I thought that track cycling was extremely weird and less than exciting.
    Is the rest of the world tired of American butts hanging out of every skimpy uniform we own? I have a strange impulse to tell Missy May that she needs to put her butt back in the suit…not that I could contain my rear end in that get-up, but really?
    Looking forward to more of your Olympic musings…

  8. Mari says

    Mustafina smiled with glee and turned her back on the rest of the routine. Not classy.

    Gabby does have a lot of class, and so does Missy Franklin. And what about Pistorius? He is charming in interviews!

  9. says

    I can’t even begin to describe how happy this list makes me! And how right you are with every single point. Bob Costas saying crazy things has been some of my favorite non-competition moments! Well, him and the regular spotting of Princess Kate being awesome to everyone in the audience.

  10. Karen says

    Love the list! And you’re not weird – I think Missy Franklin is the coolest thing ever. I adore her smile!! And little Miss Aliya has a very bad attitude. Her behavior during the team competition was appalling! Of course, she was all smiles last night. I’m very proud of our girls and the way they behave themselves. It says alot about their raisin’!!

  11. Meg says

    I think the saddest thing for me about the Olympics ending is no more recaps from you!! I just had to say that I just love Missy Franklin too. In that interview where she was singing along with the video of Call Me Maybe and was so unaware of what a superstar she is … she just acted exactly what I pray my daughter will act when she is 16 … carefree, innocent, young and so joyful!! Love her, and love this post!

  12. says

    Kip! Yes, Kip! I was racking my brain for who he looked like, and the only thing I could think of was a young Adolf Hitler. Thanks for making me snort cereal out of my nose this morning. :)

  13. Kelly says

    As I was reading your list and nodding in agreement to it all…in the back of my mind I kept thinking ‘what about Missy Franklin’s interview with Bob (“three hundred large”) Costas?’ Then, as usual, you did not disappoint with #10. LOVE her. Gracious, darling, giddy, humble, articulate, 17, funny! Ditto, Meg (comment #14), I hope my daughter acts anything like her when she is 16.

    Great recap as always!

  14. Laura says

    “what’s the point of watching the Olympics if you don’t cry at least several times throughout the evening?”

    I’ve been a sobbing fool! I’m glad other people are too! I think I’m going to go through withdrawals when its all over!

    …maybe Snoop Lion will get me through.

  15. says

    About #9.) YES. Why was that news? And I just clicked off The Today Show, because they are reporting about the feud between Elton John and Madonna heating up. That is not *news*, people.

  16. says

    as i sit on the couch watching the olympics while drinking my frappucino or beer i wonder why i can’t find the motivation to walk around the block if these kids can work out 8 hrs a day for years….imsolazy!

  17. Andrea in WI says

    Great recap–you made me laugh out loud here at work this morning! My husband literally threw down the remote and walked out during the bicycle sprint thing. He was like “Why doesn’t the 1st guy just take off an win it…he should be able to last 3 laps! Or else make it a 1 lap race! Stupidest thing ever!!” HAHAHA! I didn’t even watch Gabby and Glee girl…maybe if I had been, Gabby would have done better. That’s how it works in my mind, anyway. Have you seen the Call Me, Maybe version done by the US Swim team? That darn Missy is fabulous! I’m also really liking Katie Ledecky. Only 15 and has a good head on her shoulders, too.

  18. Honey says

    Did you notice that in the Missy Franklin/Bob Costas interview……Missy sat very tall in her chair and old Bob looked liked a little tiny munchkin that the chair had swallowed. I was hysterical. We have loved those Olympics and are already wondering what we will do when they end!!! Cant wait to see you!

  19. says

    I agree with Honey…I couldn’t stop laughing at tall Missy and tiny Bob sitting side by side. But I super-love Missy Franklin!!

    And really for me, the bonus of these games is seeing Kate Middleton on a daily basis. :-)

  20. says

    Another Olympics funny was the Ragu commerical. The one with the kid calling out to his mom as he is walking up the stairs. If you missed it, you should really go find it. So dang funny!

    • Kristen says

      Ragu commercial was hysterical!! Poor kid had had enough…give him some Ragu.

      I would (almost) give my right arm to hear Bob Costas say the words “three hundred large”. How did I miss that??

  21. Michelle says

    Oh. My. Word. You TOTALLY made me laugh out loud, really loud, when I read your comment about Napoleon Dynamite. I had to call my husband and read it to him. We think that movie is hilarious! Reading your blog always makes me laugh, but you outdid yourself today! Well done!!!!!! Have a great day!

  22. says

    Oh my gosh– TOTALLY agree about that male gymnast from Chile!!! I can’t figure out if he MEANS to look like Kip…like he’s just trying to be funny/ironic…or if he just seriously thinks that’s a good look for him. Either way, I can’t stop laughing any time I see him. My husband, of course, is hoping that this means that mustaches are coming back in style. I had to inform him that Olympic gymnasts aren’t really known for setting the bar (haha) for fashion…except for Mustafina’s eye makeup. I kind of wish that would become a trend, because it’s amazing.

  23. Michelle says

    Thanks for sharing, and I’ve had some of those same thoughts watching the Olympic games. Mustafina’s little stunt of very un-sportsman-like conduct caused me to give my daughter a lengthy history lesson about those Communist countries ending with our USA hockey victory! Of course, my teen daughter rolled her eyes and reminded me this was the summer Olympics. GO TEAM USA!

  24. Amy C says

    I stayed up to watch the mens’ steeplechase a couple of nights ago. Do NOT get the point of that one. It’s basically a butt-long race with three hurdles on each lap and one hurdle that has water after it. I don’t really get the point of only three hurdles, and each time they would jump the water, they would land right in it. Which led me to ponder what kind of shoes they wore for this event….running shoes? Water shoes? I wouldn’t think they would want to run the majority of the race in soggy shoes. Weirdest race I’ve seen.

    My husband and I also felt mutually amorous toward Kate as she watched the mens’ gymnastics. We were both sitting there like teenage girls going, “She’s pretty. She has such pretty hair. I bet she’s really nice. She seems so REAL.”

  25. Amy says

    Missy Franklin is so great on camera that I have to remind myself she is only 17. She’s more or a natural than many of the “professionals” they have on. Love the Olympics! I still can’t get over the lame coverage though. Or the Oregon Duck inspired outfits. When someone sees a picture years from now of the girls gymnastics gold medal team, they should automatically know it is in the USA. Which means they should be wearing red, white, and blue! Those gray get-ups look like either some sort of prison outfit with the stamped look logo on the back or an astronaut outfit with the patch on the sleeve. I really want to get a job with someone in charge so I can tell them how to do it right! Why does no one ever ask me? Ha :)!
    Oh, and I find myself rewinding more for Kate Middleton that for the events! She is perfection!

  26. says

    This has got to be one of my all-time favorite posts! So funny!

    You just wrote out everything I’ve been thinking. However I was just telling a friend that I’d hate Kate for being so pretty if I thought she wasn’t so awesome!

    And the Chile gymnast…there are no words!

    Love your blog!

  27. Nancy says

    this was perhaps one of my favorite blog posts of yours. I wanted to comment on almost every point you made, but I’ll just say thank you for adding some fun and wit to an otherwise humdrum day.

  28. Meredith says

    You are so spot on with this. I love your recaps becuase last week my sister and I would watch together and have the same discussions but now I have to do it with my husband and he just does not get it. So It is nice that someone else gets it like I do.

    On a completely different note my husband and I are finally trying to watch all of Friday Night Lights- we are halfway through season 4 and I can not wait to watch more- It is one of the best shows ever.

  29. says

    Love the re-cap, I read number five to my husband, we both laughed. Missy Franklin is amazing, I adore her. Princess Kate’s hair, oh my word, lovely, all the time.

  30. Merri Jo says

    The Costas, “three hundred large” comment almost killed me! We know someone who looks/kinda sounds like Bob, who also thinks he’s extremely hip. Umm, not so much. I read this to my husband, and we both laughed ’til we couldn’t breathe!

  31. says

    Enjoying your Olympic re-caps immensely! They are so spot on with many of my thoughts. Or, if I haven’t watched that particular event yet, I know exactly what to watch for when I do. Thank you!

    I’m wondering, though, why almost none of the athletes seem to dress up during their post competition interviews. Jeans and a sweatshirt? Do athletes not have stylists? Are the too tired after winning all of that gold and representing their country so well? Oh, I guess I’ll let it slide.

    Thanks again!

  32. Kimberly says

    You are hilarious! I so enjoy reading your blog everyday. And I have agreed with you on the Olympics almost entirely. So funny.

  33. says

    Thank you for the Kip comment! I’m glad to know my husband and I weren’t the only ones adding commentary in a Kip voice that night . . . or maybe we were . . .

  34. says

    I love Missy Franklin too, she’s so poised and gracious…I shudder to think what a mess my 17-year-old self would have been in her situation, but she’s just killing it.

    I did feel sorry for McKayla Maroney until I saw her pouting all over the medal stand and shooting death glares at the gold medalist. Back to Sportsmanship 101, honey.

    Also so with you on Princess Kate’s hair. Does she wash it in fairy dust or something? I’ve gone on record saying that I’d trade a kidney for hair like that, and I stand by it.