Fifteen years ago today P and I stood at the front of a church, in front of all our friends and family, and vowed to love each other for better or for worse.
And we’ve had some of both over the years. But the scale has definitely tipped in favor of better much more often than worse.
However, this seemed like an appropriate time to tell y’all about the holes in my walls.
Because it was a low.
If you’ve been reading the blog for any amount of time, you might remember that P has grand ambitions to seal our home up like a Frigidaire. There has been much talk of installing radiant barrier paint or some type of foil in the attic for years. And I’ve never gotten on board because you know what no one ever compliments you on when they visit your house?
Your attic.
Also, you know what’s more fun to spend money on than insulating your attic?
Everything else in the world.
But earlier this summer I was out of town. And P took that opportunity to have Blah Blah Insulation Company come out and give us an estimate on insulating our walls and our attic. The problem with living in a house built almost 100 years ago is that people neglected to insulate their walls. But considering that they had to hang wallpaper by nailing it to the wall, you can hardly fault them. They had bigger fish to fry. And this is where I begin to think about the people who originally built this house and how they didn’t have air-conditioning at all and it makes me break out in hives just thinking about it.
I’m like Queen Esther. I was born for such a time as this.
This time being a time when man figured out how to make air cold.
Anyway, P convinced me that we should at least get the walls insulated, especially since removing the sheetrock in the guest room made that room significantly hotter than it used to be. And since we’re planning to repaint most of the house already, it seemed like a good time to do it. He said it would just be a matter of them drilling a hole in the wall and pumping in insulation.
Here’s the thing about marriage. Sometimes there are breakdowns in communication. And sometimes you speak such different languages that you forget to ask important, clarifying questions. Questions like, “How many holes are we talking about?”
Because while I naively envisioned that each wall would receive one small hole in a discreet location, what actually took place was a sheetrock apocalypse.
The workmen came into our house with saws and drills and hoses while wearing masks. It was like the end of E.T. when the scientists realize E.T. is living in Elliot’s house and come barging in wearing space suits. And I wanted to ride off on my bike and fly across the moon to escape.
In his defense, the insulation sales guy hadn’t been completely upfront with P either. And so we were completely unprepared for the mess and the dust and the hysteria and the tears. Of course I was solely responsible for the hysteria and tears. The workmen didn’t even cry one time.
After he saw me breathing into a brown paper bag, P suggested that maybe I should get out of the house for the rest of the day. And I agreed because I was curled up in a corner singing “Turn On Your Heartlight”.
The next two days were a blur of insulation and dust and walking back into the house to find my living room curtains tied in a knot to keep them off the floor. It was bleak. There was so much sheetrock dust in my house that I believed there was no way it would ever be clean again.
And then they finally finished pumping insulation, filled the silver dollar size holes all over each wall with some type of white foam that I think they use in hell, and left.
I’d spent that entire day at the pool with Caroline because, seriously, workmen act uneasy when a woman is crying on her dusty couch while they do their job. But about 4:00 that afternoon, P called me and asked where we kept the mop and the swiffer broom.
And by the time I walked through the door an hour later, the house was completely put back together. The floors were swept and mopped. The curtains were untied. The furniture had been dusted.
As silly as this sounds it was one of those moments in a marriage where I loved him more than ever. Not just because he cleaned the house, but because I realized he knows me well enough to know that I needed the house to be clean. That he knows me well enough to know that I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night until the house was put back together.
And there’s something about being known like that. It makes you feel loved. Because knowing to clean up all that dust is just the tip of the iceberg of things P has learned about me over the last fifteen years. But he loves me more because of some of them and in spite of the rest.
For better or for worse.
I’m just so glad we’ll spend the next fifteen years in a living room that’s now two degrees cooler every evening thanks to all that new insulation.
I love you, P. Happy fifteenth anniversary.
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Happy Anniversary! My favorite kind of post. So hilarious … But then so sweet and tender it makes you get teary with a lump in your throat.
Happy anniversary to you and P!! Even though I’ve never met you, I think of you every year on this day because I also married my husband on August 16, 1997. And I completely get what you’re saying. Sometimes when my husband takes the trash out AND REMEMBERS TO REPLACE THE BAG, I get emotional. It’s the little things really. Happy 15th!
Happy Anniversary!
I’m just amazed that anybody gets married in August in Texas, and then I remember that wonderful invention, air-conditioning.
It’s been 34 years for me and my hubby, and I just have to tell you, it keeps getting better and better. You are spot on — it’s so good to be “known”.
God bless you all
well, now that made me tear up! sending me out of the house and having it all cleaned up for me before i got back would definitely be my love language, too.
There really and truly is nothing like being known for who you really are, and being loved – deeply loved – anyway. Congrats on 15 years!
Aw, happy anniversary! And really, sometimes, those two degrees do make a difference. ;~)
I know those moments. The better, the worse, the really better and the he**ofalotworse.
Had several of all the above and more in 22 years.
But, you are right. It is the crazy moments that get you the most, isn’t it. Those onlyhewouldknowthisaboutmeandfixitformewithoutbeingasked moments.
That you had one of those right in time to say Happy Anniversary! to him makes the anniversary all that ohsoverymuchbetter, does it not?
My long-winded way of saying, “I am SO happy that y’all are still having ‘those’ moments even after 15 years”. It means that the next 35 or so are in. the. bag.
And that is my Prognostication Wish for y’all on this very special day.
(And with that, I must now go send my husband out to advise our 20yo that she and her fiance’ have really made out in front of the house for plenty of time tonight. Have some respect, right? Or, at least get some air ?). See, the fun just keeps coming. doesn’t it?
A. That is a Very Big Church.
B. We have a 106 year old house and did the foil in the attic thing. The foil is pretty cheap, the labor is not. But for July, our hottest month and pretty comparable to last July, our electric bill was over 25% lower, which buys a lot of things that cost $15.
C. Congratulations on 15 years and on knowing the blessings of a real marriage, not a media fairy-tale.
Happy Anniversary! If you can survive holes in the wall, you can make it through anything!
What a precious marriage you two have….I’m so happy for you both! Happy Anniversary and may you have many more! God bless.
Aww…Happy Anniversary! This is such a great post (and hysterical too). Hope you enjoy much cooler days in your newly insulated house and many, many, many more years with the man who Swiffers your floors.
~FringeGirl
Happy Anniversery!!
Please allow me to tell you a for better moment of mine
Last October (my birthday)……my husband left a card on my pillow…….when I opened it i read. “Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughter”…….I thought well isn’t that perfect !!!! He went in grabbed a card and didn’t even read all of it…….then I opened the card……inside he had written “I know this is your first birthday since your dad died…….I know he loved you very much and always got you a special card…… I hope it’s ok that I did this for him”
Oh my word!!!!! How thoughtful was that …….I still cry when I think about it.
Thanks for letting me share……
Oh my – what a great story Pam!
Oh my, this post made me teary, but your story made me plain cry. That is truly one of the sweetest things I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing Pam!
Stop it already…now I am tearing up.
Oh my word! I am in tears reading this! That is absolutely the sweetest thing!
That us the sweetest thing! It made me cry!!
Wow – that is so thoughtful! It brought tears to my eyes (and I don’t cry or tear up easily). What a sweet guy you’ve got there.
Thank you for sharing that beautiful story!
Your story has a river of tears streaming down my face. Monday will mark five months since my mom’s death. My 40th birthday is in September … I was born on her 21st birthday. So precious your husband did that for you!!
What a touching story. You must be special to have such a wonderful husband. Hope your birthday is equally happy this year.
Happy Anniversary Mel and P!
Happy Anniversary to you, Big Mama, and your man P. May you have many more!
We live in a ranch style house with a flat roof and we also had that done (holes drilled and insulation pumped into the ceiling). It’s made a huge difference, etc., etc., but can I just say I feel your pain!
While the Hubs made every attempt to have it cleaned before I came home from work, it was weeks before I stopped finding dust!
So glad THAT’s a once in a lifetime event!
This is so very weird. I read only two blogs faithfully every day and both of you have your wedding anniversary on the same day.
Happy Anniversary to you.
My husband and I got married at the SAME church just over 4 years ago. I like the comment from Susan about getting married in Texas in August. With the heat here, that 2 degrees makes a difference.
Happy Anniversary!!! You make me laugh!
Awesome post!! Happy Anniversary.
I would have cried at all that dust too!
Awww! P is my kind of guy because him cleaning up all that dust would have made my day were he my husband. Not to say that mine doesn’t do stuff like that because he does but having work done like that would have stressed me all out the same way it did you.
Happy anniversary!
Happy Anniversary! I think it is fantastic that BROOM and MOP are in P’s vocabulary, much less he knows how and when to use them! Hope you two have many many more good years!
Thank you for sharing. Our nephew is getting married Saturday and they start out with a 15 month old daughter and a lot of stress made by poor choices. We pray that they will get that this is what makes a relationship work. They have poor role models in their parents as her mom has never married any of the girls’ fathers and his parents divorced. We celebrated 18 years this summer and marriage is hard work, every day! Congratualtions on your anniversary!
How sweet!!! And Happy Anniversary to you both!!! Y’all are the best.
I’m convinced this is what the Biblical “knowing” is all about. Knowing me and loving me anyway. I read your blog daily and am always touched. Often moved to laughter and often moved to tears. I just know we’d have so much fun if we were neighbors!
Melanie, this post is the reason I read your blog daily and love it (and you). Happy 15th Anniversary!
I hope your and P’s love grows richer and deeper every day and that your marriage strengthens even more. You’re a wonderful example for your daughter.
Happy Anniversary to you and P! And I love that story!
Maybe the bright spot in the insulation saga will be a lower electric bill? That’s what the blah blah people say on the radio anyway…!
Happy anniversary, y’all!
Happy Anniversary!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!
BTW, I love “Heartlight”. Haven’t heard that song in forever. Might have to pull that one up today and have a listen.
Our house is 100 years old and our walls need to have insulation put in also. Unfortunately, after the estimate we were given, we can’t afford to right now. Maybe in a few, 10, 20 years, possibly we can look into it again.
P getting that house cleaned up before you got home honestly sounds like something my hubby would have done. I really do have the best husband. God has truly blessed me with him.
Prayers for many more happy years for you and P!
I have never idendified with you more than when reading this post. Ahem and Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary!!
“Turn On Your Heartlight”…..I laughed out loud on that one! It is a big week in your house!
Happy anniversary! I love what you shared. We definitely don’t think about those things when we’re standing and saying our vows. But that is the stuff that makes a marriage.
Happy Anniversary! Wouldn’t it be nice if vows would be more realistic??
FIrst, I was awestruck by the beautiful shot of your church sanctuary–what a beautiful photo!
Then as usual, you made me laugh, and then cry, and then giggle again. Your wedding during Aug in TX is no crazier than my January wedding in IL– Oh, the things we do for love!
HAPPY anniversary to you both!
My favorite was when you said “And there’s something about being known like that”. I think if there was ever a really good description for what love in marriage is like, that’s one of the best I’ve heard. What a great story, you’ve definitely got a way with words my dear!
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary! Man, August is a great month for your family. Birthdays and anniversaries!!
Happy anniversary to a wonderful couple who aren’t, seemingly, afraid to share a part of who they are with the world. Our 9th anniversary is today.
I love this post so much. Two months ago (three days overdue with my daughter) my husband and father-in-law decided it was a good day to install new windows in our bedroom. I came home from work to a bedroom in shambles and completely covered in dust. After a minor breakdown on my part my husband had that bedroom and the rest of the house cleaner than it has ever been – and like you my heart swelled with love! My baby girl was born that night.
You perfectly described it. Someone that knows you. There is no greater gift. And its a greater gift when someone knows you and uses that information to make you happy. (Not just to push your buttons to let’s say, extort money from you.) I am so happy for you guys. You are truly an inspiration. Tell P that he’s getting props from this neck of the woods.
Happy 15 to you both!
You expressed some sweet sentiments and by that I mean….I totally get what you’re saying. My hubby stayed up until 4 am Tuesday night painting my bathroom. He was up so much later than what it should have taken him because HE KNOWS ME TOO! Even though he had to get up and work like every normal day. He knew…
I would have flipped out when I woke up to a messy bathroom. He took the extra time to clean up all the painting mess and the counters/mirrors/floors.
It was sparkling!
23 years for me…..
You never fail to brighten my day. Happy anniversary, good people.
For crying out loud, I seriously can hardly stop laughing. All of it – the holes, the singing, the escape, the “such a time as this.” And on top of all that hilarity, we have the very same anniversary as y’all!
Here’s a fun fact: every 6 months you’re married is 1% of the way to being married 50 years. So we celebrated not just 15 years, but 30%. Yes, we’re a couple with goals. Or, more accurately, I have goals and Honey just deals with me. Just for that alone, he’s a keeper.
Love the tales of the “laying down your life” kind of love. Good stuff. That P is a keeper. Happy decade and a half.
Continued blessings…
That is so sweet! It is beautiful to be ‘known’ like that.
This is the best anniversary post I’ve read because it’s real life stuff. It’s not the kind of stuff that you think about when planning your wedding (BTW, great wedding pic), but it’s real. Every bride should get a book filled with stories just like this. I have a few I could share myself, many relating to my unfortunate need to “lose my cookies” the entirety of both pregnancies, and my husband’s role as “cookie” cleaner upper.