Is it already Wednesday? Because this is what happens to me after a holiday weekend. I’m disoriented and confused about my days and can barely remember what I did on Saturday because, well, it was four days ago.
On Friday afternoon Caroline went home from school with a friend and then I picked her up so we could meet Mimi and Bops for dinner. As we drove to dinner I informed her that she was not allowed to wake me up the next morning because I know how her little body works. Her internal alarm automatically resets itself for 7:00 a.m. no matter what, while my internal alarm doesn’t really comprehend 7:00 a.m. That’s an hour for farmers and chickens and kids who have to go to school. And none of those things apply to us on a Saturday morning.
And the chickens and farmers apply to us never.
So she let me sleep in while she watched one of the myriad of survival type shows available on Netflix. This is her new thing. She loves a survival type show. There is nothing that excites her more than someone who has to live for days off the leg of a dead antelope while dodging the most poisonous snakes in the world.
She and P were watching one of these shows together. I’m not sure what the name of it is but it’s a husband and wife who are both Bear Grylls wannabes. As they sat there watching this madness, Caroline said, “Dad! You and Mom should be on one of these shows!”
I heard P say, “Your mother has been known to leave a vacation early because the hotel didn’t have a ceiling fan and she was hot. She’s not really cut out for survival.”
And I really wanted to defend myself but I was so comfortable and felt like it was going to take a lot of effort to walk into the next room.
Anyway, on Sunday morning P took Caroline and Gulley’s boys to the ranch for a day of fishing.
Needless to say, they had to have chocolate donuts to fortify them for the long day and all the hard work that lay ahead.
After they left I posted that picture of them on Facebook. And then one of my friends, AJ, commented that the most important question was what were Gulley and I going to do all day since the kids were gone. Which was a valid question.
Gulley and I have this thing we say and I don’t even really know when it started. But whenever one of us is having a bad day or is tired or we just wish we had time to hang out together, we will say, “I wish we could just get in the bed and eat some fried chicken”.
Let me just clarify that neither of us has ever eaten fried chicken in bed. Because that seems kind of gross and unsanitary. I think it originally began as two separate concepts that might make a day better.
Eat fried chicken.
Get in bed.
See? They work better as separate entities. But in our own language we just combined it into one event. Apparently it was too difficult for us to add an “and then” into the equation.
And so we decided against answering AJ’s question in the comments on Facebook because do I really want someone I haven’t seen since high school thinking I’ve turned into someone who eats fried chicken in bed?
The answer is no. No I do not.
Anyway, Gulley did bring over Church’s chicken for lunch. But we ate it at the table. And then we sat on the couch and discussed an array of topics before finally landing on skincare. More specifically, the state of our skin after a summer of trying to use sunscreen and wearing large hats and not always succeeding.
Which is how we ended up at Sephora around 3:30 on Sunday afternoon. Normally I am diametrically opposed to going to the mall on the weekends. A stance, by the way, that was confirmed as soon as we walked through the entrance doors at Forever 21. I had no idea San Antonio has that many people, much less so many people who feel like booty shorts are a valid fashion option.
Our Sephora mission was two-fold. I needed new mascara. Gulley had read about Clinique’s new under-eye dark circle corrector. Oh, and we also wanted to try Dior Airflash foundation because a friend had said it was the best, most natural coverage ever.
But when we found the Airflash, we realized it was actually a spray on foundation. Which explains why it’s called Airflash. You have to shake it like spray paint and then spray it on your face. I’m sure it works beautifully, as well it should at $60, but there isn’t really a universe where I can imagine spraying my face with something every morning. It would only be a matter of time before it would get in my eyes and earn me a trip to the ER where I’d have to write “Makeup Application Tragedy” on my admission form.
However, I did decide to buy a tube of Dior Show Mascara. I’ve debated about it forever but finally took the plunge and I have to say that I love it so far. It’s a great consistency and has a big fluffy applicator brush that’s easy to use. I mean, it hasn’t made me look like Sophia Loren or anything but it’s not bad and definitely better than the L’Oreal Voluminous I’d been using.
And Gulley bought her Clinique under eye corrector. The guy who was ringing up her purchase was BESIDE HIMSELF with excitement over it. He told her it’s one of the best products he’s ever used and has already made a huge difference in his under eye circles even though he didn’t use it that morning because he was hung over and what was the point and he didn’t want to waste it.
I was standing there trying to take all that in when he handed me a small sample of it to try for myself because “ONCE YOU SEE HOW AMAZING YOUR FRIEND LOOKS YOU’LL HAVE TO HAVE IT”.
Which kind of made the whole trip to the mall worth it. It was so much better than eating fried chicken in the bed.
Then on Monday we debated going to the pool for one last hurrah. But Caroline said she was sick of the pool and didn’t want to go. So we got pedicures instead.
And that was officially the end of our summer.
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Oh. My. Gosh. This is the funniest post ever!
I couldn’t sleep, so I came here to see what you’ve been up to. Now I’m trying to hold in my laughs so I don’t wake anyone else! So, so funny! I just love it!
What is the verdict on the under eye corrector?
Hahaha!
The fried chicken in bed thing cracks me up. And what’s with men and makeup? Bothers me big time.
I don’t know any men that wear makeup…and I’m really ok with that!
Honest to Goodness – I bought the same eye cream and the guy in Georgia that sold it to me was at least as excited as the one ya’ll were dealing with!!!!
I have horrible under eye circles. Can you please have Gully do a guest post on how this product works? My 8 year old daughter loves to tell me how big and dark mine are. (I don’t have the heart to tell her that she will probably have them too!)
I really want to hear if the under eye corrector worked.
I share your aversion to the mall on the weekends. Wait, I never want to go to our mall. But especially on the weekends.
Yes, please let us know how the Clinque corrector works! Sounds like a very good Labor Day weekend. Now back to the daily grind! Yes, it’s Wed. but feels like Tues. so I’m all confused too.
“Makeup Application Tragedy”-I laughed out loud! And props to P for taking the kids to fish. Between that and your and Gulley’s annual road trip with them they are going to have such great memories of growing up together. Not all kids get that; those three are blessed.
Amen.
So…I want to hear about both products. A Sephora just opened in our mall, and I have yet to visit. Looks like I need to check it out!
Ok so I HAVE to know how the dark cricle stuff works. I have seen it advertised and want to know if it is worth it, and if it irritates the skin around your eyes.
Keep up the great work on your blog. i look forward to reading it everyday!!!
I would never make it on a survival show either. It’s roughing it for me too when we have to sleep without a fan because we lost power from a thunderstorm.
I’ve been using the erase paste from Sephora. I have non-stop mascara drama also.
You’re gonna love DiorShow. Its one of the 2 best mascaras EVER; glad you decided to try it!
Have to know how the eye corrector works. I have dark circles under my eyes that no amount of concealer has been able to help! My mother-in-law gave me a gift card to Sephora for my bday so if the corrector seems to work well, that may be what I buy.
I second (or 20th) the update on the dark circle corrector. Inquiring eyes want to know. Also, speaking of dark spots on the face…you mentioned once or twice a while ago that your upper lip gets dark in the sun and it looks like you’re sporting a ‘stash when it’s actually just dark spots. And at the time I read that I was all, “Man, sucks to be her.” But then this summer karma punished me for my lack of empathy and now I suddenly find that I too am sporting the Magnum PI look on my upper lip skin. So please tell me, oh wise one, how do you get rid of it? Is there a dark spot eliminator that I must use? Lasers? Dancing naked in the moonlight on the third Friday of a month ending with the letter R? Please! Please! I need to know!
I read your Parenthood post over on Pioneer Woman, and agree with you 100%! What a fabulous show! But just want you to know that the Father’s name is Craig T. Nelson…you called him something else. Just sayin’
I swear Caroline and my daughter are two peas in a pod. My daughter is currently obsessed with the show “Call of the Wildman” which is some fine quality TV. And her internal clock woke me up at 6:30 Saturday morning to inform me she was hungry.
That would be “Man, Woman, WILD” and the reason I know this is because my husband records all of these shows on our DVR and watches them with our offspring, who are faced with actual survival scenarios never. Although they all gang up on me almost every weekend and think there is nothing better than a Saturday morning spent at Gander Mountain. Where, I noticed last weekend, there is an entire line of women’s skinny cut t-shirts that say things like, “You wish your girlfriend could fish as good as me!” on the front of them. And I grumble to myself that it is actually “as good as I” and no one even cares about correct pronoun usage because they are looking knives and ammunition and also threatening to buy a kayak to take home on top of the minivan.
Last time I was in Sephora a guy helped me as well, and it made me want to never go back. I know I’m being close minded, but I honestly think he should get a job at Gander Mountain and leave it to the ladies sell me my cherry tinted lip balm.
No fair making me giggle while Nick is trying to sleep! ::snort::