Well.
It has been quite the twenty-four hours. Or maybe it’s been forty-eight hours. I really have no idea because that’s what prescription cough medicine will do to you.
I slept fairly well on Monday night, but didn’t feel any better on Tuesday morning. Which was unfortunate since I had a mammogram scheduled and didn’t want to cancel at the last minute. So I hauled myself off the couch and made my way to the imaging center by 9:30 a.m. and that felt like an accomplishment.
But then I got to the actual mammogram part of the mammogram. And it was fine. Except you know what you don’t want to do when you’re in full-blown mammogram position? Cough really hard. And you know what’s hard to do when you have bronchitis? Not cough really hard.
It was an experience I’ll treasure forever.
After that I had to mail off a few packages and figured I was already out and might as well get a few things done. What I didn’t factor in though was that my energy level would plummet and I’d be in desperate need of a nap by 11:00.
So I came home, put my pajamas on, curled back up on the couch where I belonged, and tried to forget about the earlier boob trauma with a few episodes of Friday Night Lights on Netflix. And it helped immensely because there is not much that ails a person that can’t be fixed with a little Dillon, Texas.
Right around the time Caroline got home from school, I began to notice that my eyelid felt kind of tender on the inner corner. So I went to the mirror to check it out and saw that I was beginning to experience a little bit of eye swelling that looked like it might be a sty.
Perfect. There is nothing better than knowing you’re about to be at a conference in front of a bunch of people with a swollen eyelid and a cough that makes people feel like they’d rather be in a room with Typhoid Mary.
And then I found out my blog was broken so I had to do extensive research to figure out the problem. And by extensive research, I mean that I ate four Hershey Special Dark miniatures while emailing my tech person, Cathy, a flurry of emails that read, “HELP ME!!!!!”
Fortunately, my blog was working again and my eye looked better when I woke up in the morning because I was debating going to Dot Mom with a patch over my eye. And people could call me Left Eye Lopes (may she rest in peace). Except it was my right eye and not my left eye.
And she never wore a patch but just had a black mark under her eye.
Whatever. It seemed better to go with Left Eye Lopes than Long John Silver. Although he managed to make a delicious fish with malt vinegar sauce in spite of only having one eye.
(I have no idea if he only had one eye. But he was a pirate so it stands to reason. I basically don’t know what I’m even typing at this point because I need to just go to bed.)
There was actually a time I had to wear a patch over my eye. I was in ninth grade and had somehow gotten a speck of paint on my eye that had to be lasered out or something like that. And then I had to wear a patch to school for FOUR DAYS when I was FOURTEEN. It’s a wonder that I even lived to tell about it.
And now you might be wishing I hadn’t because you just died from boredom.
See y’all tomorrow for Fashion Friday. There’s going to be a giveaway!
And now I’m off to see if I can cram all my clothes and toiletries for the weekend in one carry on bag. Because I enjoy a challenge.
If you’re at Dot Mom this weekend, please come say hi. I promise I’m only a little bit scary with my hacking cough and bad eye.
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Oh, Melanie, I am truly sorry you are sick, but gosh if you don’t make me laugh to read about it! Not to mention I am now wondering if there’s a Long John Silvers open at 1 am because fish and malt vinegar sounds good to me.
Have a great time at dotMOM.I’m planning to see you at the Texas event in February, hopefully without the hacking cough and the bad eye
My four year old does her darndest to close one eye so she can be a pirate. “Look mom,” she says, squinting “I’m a pirate. I have one eye.” Based on that, I’m pretty sure you’re right about Long John Silver
Praying for you! You seem to get sick way too much
Praying you are feeling mighty fine for DotMom – but if you *did* have to wear a patch, you know yesterday was National Talk Like a Pirate Day, right?
Have fun and good luck at your conference. Can I assume that you knew yesterday was national “Talk Like a Pirate Day”? yes, ma’am, it was.
And, Krispy Kreme was giving away free donuts to dressed-up pirates so maybe you got one? I am so excited to be at Dot Mom this weekend!!!
Well, you will certainly be memorable with the eye patch and hacking cough. Seriously, what a bummer though about the sty right before your conference.
Maybe try a warm compress?
Well if you needed the eye patch yesterday not too many people would think anything of it since it was Talk Like a Pirate day! Hope you get better soon!
There’s no way you could have possibly anticipated this, but most of this entry (until you started talking about ol’ Left Eye and your patch– which, you have my sympathies for, because I can’t imagine how traumatizing that way) made me think of several things I’ve learned in school over the last few weeks.
Prescription cough medicine, bronchitis, breasts, Typhoid Mary (caused by Salmonella typhi, in case you were wondering). Pharmacy school is really impinging upon my blog reading, because this is not the first time this has happened.
Hope you’re feeling better soon. Have a great time at dotMom!
that “way”?
that *was
really?
Sty removal – this REALLY works!!
Rub a yellow gold ring on your pants/jeans to warm it up then place it on the sty.
Do this a couple of times – it will go away.
I know – sounds all voodoo hippie wackadoodle but my Mema taught me that trick and God rest her soul – she was almost always right (which was annoying at the time but now I love it).
Well, yesterday was National Talk Like A Pirate Day so you probably would have looked totally normal walking around with a patch!
Why the heck are you traveling? Stay home. They can survive without you.
Sorry you have had such a rough 24 or 48 hours. When you’re sick time just kind-of runs together doesn’t it?
You’re still funny as heck though! Good luck at Dot Mom.
How did I miss the eye patch? I know we met later on, but I think I would have heard a rumor about a girl sporting an eye patch. Especially if kids were as cruel back then as they are now to Mono Boy for taking hip hop. And yes, yes, I remember that they were because I was nerdy and shy and wore glasses and OH the ridicule that invited.
Dang, still can’t believe I missed the eye patch and SO wish you had posted a pic. I would show it to Mono Boy and say, “See, it could be worse! Arrggghhh.”
Hugs…have a good trip!
I was going to tell you about “talk like a pirate day” too but then I saw that 10 other people already did…I’m wondering if you might have confused Long John Silver with Captain Jack Sparrow or Johnny Depp, perhaps? Wasn’t Long John Silver just a fisherman who brought us delicious frozen fish in the form of a stick? Or maybe I just don’t know my fisherman/pirate history? It could go either way…Hope your feeling better!
Seriously? You have been through a lot this week! I will be praying for you to be strengthened as you go forward this weekend! You are beautiful…with or without the stye and the cough. (And maybe people will relate to you more with those afflictions
Also, maybe this was God’s way of giving you a lot of things to talk about at the conference. YOU can do it!
National Pirate day… Yeah! or should that be Argh! Years ago my niece was using her eye area to hold a penny. She was only about 4 or 5 years old. I told her that it was not safe to place a penny where her eye was. Very quickly she told me that if she lost her eye than I could start calling her One Eyed Willie..
I hope that you will be feeling 100% event! Have a great time…
Oh I hope you feel better soon! I am still watching Friday Night Lights and LOVING it! I am in season four and am sad there are only five seasons. Last episode was Matt’s dad’s funeral. I don’t why i feel the need to tell you this but no one else I know watched it! I think I might be a little obsessed when a dad at my daughters school reminds me of the actor who plays Billy Riggins and the guy sitting on the plane behind me today sounded just like Tim Riggins.
.
Johnson’s Baby Shampoo directly to the stye eye is a miracle cure… I’m not a Doctor but I watch ER and Grey’s and Private Practice – oh – and I am an RN that works for doctors who teach this trick! God Bless you…
Hate to hear of your illness, but you totally crack me up. Will be praying for your recovery and safe travels!
Hoping you feel better soon! I’ve been following along for awhile but haven’t commented
Oops! Have been thinking of & praying for your friend with cancer. My best friend also has cancer & well, cancer sucks! Safe travels!!!
My dad always swore by rubbing your wedding ring on the sty (similar to a Mema mentioned above) but it had to be your own wedding ring not anyone else’s. Seemed to work. Not much help when one is single, however.
Melanie–when you get sick, you get SICK! My prayers are with you!