A few minutes ago I was looking around on Facebook (because that’s what I do when I’m in the midst of a serious bout of procrastination) and I noticed that it must be Cotillion time here in San Antonio based on the number of pictures in my newsfeed featuring girls dressed up in pretty little dresses and wearing gloves. It also helped that all the pictures were captioned with things like “Susie’s First Cotillion!” or “Jenny is SO EXCITED about Cotillion” because it’s not like I’m a detective.
But it reminded me of something that happened a few weeks ago. I’d picked up Gulley’s boys from school and then they rode with me to pick up Caroline. And then Gulley came to pick us all up at my house because that’s when we were going to Bryan for the weekend. And now I’m giving you way too many details and you just died from boredom.
Anyway, we were all in the car (See? Couldn’t I have just said that the first time? It would have been so much simpler.) and Caroline announced that some of her friends were talking about a dance with a weird name that you go to in fifth grade. And Gulley asked, “You mean Cotillion?”
“Yes! That’s it. Cotillion!”
Will piped up and said, “Caroline, you don’t want to go to Cotillion. It’s just a thing where you have to go and act fancy and use good manners.”
I think Gulley and I were both taken aback by Will’s wealth of Cotillion knowledge and so she asked, “Will, how did you know that Cotillion was a dance where you have to use good manners?”
He responded, “I don’t know. Maybe it is or maybe it isn’t.”
And I decided right then and there that I’m going to employee Will’s strategy from now on. I’ll just throw stuff out there and maybe I’ll be right or maybe I won’t. But at least I’ll sound like I know what I’m talking about. Unless someone actually realizes I don’t have a clue.
Speaking of not having a clue, I went to the grocery store yesterday.
This isn’t one of my favorite chores even on a normal day. So factor in the fact that I was still a little tired from the weekend combined with a list that was a mile long because we were legitimately out of everything and not just P’s version of out of everything which means he’s low on Nilla wafers and razor blades.
I’d noticed when I went to HEB about a month ago that they’d rearranged the produce section. And I wasn’t one bit happy about it. They’d put all the organic produce front and center so that’s it’s hard to find the non-organic produce and maybe some of use would rather just wash our strawberries than pay some jacked up price. I’ll pay later when the pesticides kill me.
And they’d moved the salad stuff over where all the cilantro and parsley and celery and stuff used to be. I couldn’t find my broccoli slaw in a bag anywhere and the whole thing made me angry. I realize this is a first world problem but I am a person who paid money for eyebrow gel a few weeks ago to help my eyebrows grow out. My wheelhouse is first world problems.
After a few trips I began to figure out the new lay of the produce land. But then I was in there last week and noticed they were moving other things. The vitamins were over by the lunchmeat and cheese section and the beauty products were over by the frozen foods. I began to have a sinking feeling that this wasn’t going to end well for me and my love of routine and stability.
Sure enough, I walked in the store yesterday and the nice ladies that make sushi right past the deli section were nowhere to be found. And there were people moving stuff all around and packing boxes on the bread aisle. Then I discovered they’d moved the cheeses up to the very front of the store where they used to have all the granola bins and all the natural health supplements like Gingko Biloba. Worst of all, they didn’t even have the lunchmeat next to the cheeses. It was just the cheese.
The cheese stood alone.
What the actual heck, HEB?
It’s like no one in the grocery industry has ever heard of IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT. Now I’m going to have to spend real minutes of my life figuring out the new layout of my grocery store.
Which is time I could use to wash my non-organic produce.
Or to watch my eyebrows grow.
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I do not understand why grocery stores do this. Maybe they think if you have to wander around looking for the broccoli slaw that you’ll see so many other tempting items and spend more money.
That’s exactly why, Davida! Well, that and an attempt to create some new flow or layout which is more efficient or whatnot. But I’m convinced it’s creative marketing hidden in reorganization.
They did that in our HEB (I live in Houston) and I am *still* trying to remember where some stuff is.
And there was that time I accidentally bought organic strawberries instead of regular strawberries, and didn’t pay attention until I looked at the receipt when I got home, because I wondered why it was more than I mentally tallied up. (note: organic strawberries don’t seem to actually taste better than non-organic strawberries.)
It stresses me to think about it. My store did that recently and it took me like a month to get a handle on things. I hate change. Just sayin’.
I so get you. When my Safeway did that I thought I’d lose my mind! My list is made up in order of the aisles. Anal much? Actually, it’s really just because I’m there so often and have shopped there so long, I probably know the layout as well, if not better than some employees. I’m told they are planning on “upgrading” again soon. AARGH!!
When our Kroger closed and a new, much bigger one opened near by, I was traumatized! It took me forever to learn the layout of the store. And right in the middle is a wine-tasting bar (sorry, but I am not going to hang out in KROGER tasting wine) and a huge retail STUFF section where you can buy kitchen stuff, but also bra strap somethings and closet organizers. I hated the store and tried to go as few times as possible. Finally I got used to the layout and a month ago they started moving everything around again…My eye is twitching now. And you’re already bored and moving on to other comments…:)
P.S. What’s HEB?
Lori, it’s a Texas-based grocery chain. They started in San Antonio and the surrounding area and have slowly spread throughout the state. Here in Texas we love our HEB, except when they change things up!!
Thanks! I thought the HEB was short for something?
HEB is a huge monopoly chain of grocery stores here in Texas. In my south Texas city we have two options for groceries HEB or Walmart.
Thanks!
Seriously, there is a gel that makes one’s eyebrows grow?!
Yea – could you elaborate on this??!!??
They moved the fancy cheese in our grocery store (Hy Vee) between the bakery and the produce but the “normal” cheese is still by the lunchmeat way on the other side of the store. Seriously people, at least keep all the cheese together.
Due to living in a highly populated area, I am surrounded by a ton of stores. I am not just talking a variety….I’m talking multiples of each type: Publix, Winn Dixie, Walmart, Target. And NO TWO OF THE SAME STORE ARE LAYED OUT THE SAME!!!! It is ALWAYS an adventure when I go shopping….and I feel completely scattered!
Oh, Lara Lin! That is my pet peeve! I want to know if I go to Publix, I turn right to get to produce. But the three Publix stores near me are all different. Same with Kroger stores and two Walmarts. It makes me nuts to wander around. It just wastes so much time. I finally had to ask where the bread was at a Kroger! I had hiked around the store three times. It is “tucked away” (her actual words!) on an obscure shelf in the back of the store. So not amused!!
I apologize for ranting. It is a first world problem, but really annoying.
I think my husband uses Will’s strategy and it completely works for him, haha! Maybe it’s a guy thing. Does ANYONE like it when their grocery store rearranges? I really wonder why they do it. It’s probably about marketing which makes me a little more mad.
Just went through the same with the grocery store I shop at. I am so glad you mentioned your eyebrows! I’ve been dying to hear how the “growing out” was going. You inspired me to let mine grow too and so far it’s not been that bad. What type of eyebrow wax do you use? I think eyebrows deserve a post of their own.
I know what you mean. When they opened the new HEB plus on Bandera, it took forever to figure out where they had put stuff. I never thought I would say this, but I miss HEB. We don’t have them here in FL.
Thanks for the morning belly laugh!
“My wheelhouse is first world problems.” I might need a t-shirt with that line. Love it.
So over here, we have the Texas Tea Dance, and many of the boys friends go. My boys? Nope, no way. Not gonna have it. I tried to say, “But you get to wear a ‘Texas Tuxedo’ which is really jeans and boots and only the dress-up stuff on top.” They both looked at me in disgust like I had a booger hanging out of my nose.
ANYWAY, I might have mentioned a few hundred times that my oldest asked a girl to the Homecoming Dance. HIS FIRST DATE. (Hold on while I suck my thumb a moment.) I mentioned to him that we needed to go look at suits, and his jaw hit the ground.
“You mean I have to dress up? What have I gotten myself into?”
Exactly. I guess dating isn’t all that, is it?
We only have Ingles’s and now a super Wal=-Mart. We keep writing Publix and Kroger and asking to have them put stores here but we don’t have the demographics??? Come look and ask people! Anyway, my theory about rearranging things, this way the shelves get cleaned. Otherwise how would they find all those empty candy wrappers and stuff behind everything.
Hunh. It must be grocery-store-rearranging time. Our Cub just rearranged everything, and baby diapers, etc. is in the cereal aisle. I don’t get it. PLUS it makes my already hated trip even longer because I can’t find anything!
How’s this for a first-world problem? It was a SATURDAY when I stumbled around HEB and its sneaky changes. Also, my four kids were riding on/in the cart. The whole place was packed with madness. In that moment, this felt very much like a third-world problem.
They did that to our HEB almost a year ago. I was in such turmoil. I strongly disliked the new layout. I also know it was a brilliant strategic move on HEB’s part. Move things around so you actually have to look for things. Then you find new things and buy them or find old things you forgot about and buy those. My grocery bill was atrocious for months after they changed up the store. Good luck, I’ll be praying for you. Oh and don’t bring P or Caroline with you, you’ll end up broke.
The store I’ve gone to for the past twenty years has done this three times! THREE TIMES!!! The last go ’round was this past spring/summer and lasted until August. They moved isles over night like musical chairs. Not even the poor checkers knew where anything was. It forced me to get used to a new store closer to my house that I didn’t particularly like but now love. All I have to do is look remotely confused and someone walks me whatever I need, not just tell me where it is, but insists on walking me to it. As one who buys organic produce consistently, I can’t tell you the derogatory remarks I get for “wasting money” from complete strangers. I tell them that I’m not paying for what’s in it, but for what’s not in it. My father died from Alzheimers and he was in pest control. Believe me, if you ever go through ten years of that hell, you’d think a few more cents were well worth it. They said the pesticides had completely shot his blood brain barrier. The list of Dirty Dozen fruits and vegetables is well worth heeding.
Our Kroger did that this past winter. Drove me NUTS! But since then we have moved clear across the country where there is no Kroger and I have to figure out 2 grocery stores and Sam’s all over again. Which one do I like–which one carries what I want–and how to get around them. It is traumatizing!
Our HEB did this a few years ago. Luckily it’s still very similiar to our Walmart layout as those are the only two stores I have to choose from. Plus I didn’t have to redo my type-A/OCD grocery list that is categorized by aisles. I’m right there with you CJ!!!
All the stores are moving the cheese around, it seems. They make it out to be cheese land or a cheese station and you pay more. You know like you did a few weeks ago at Whole Foods? I’m with you I can wash my produce.
Almost forgot about cotillion. I forced my older son to participate in that event and I even volunteered to make sure it all happened. How stupid of me! My son was miserable. The girls did loved it but the 5 boys that were there stood by the walls terrified.
would give all many of confusion just to live near enough to an HEB to be confused by one. Seriously—in the Top 5 Reasons Not To EVER Leave Texas is HEB! I usually have my friends and family ranked higher than HEB in that list–but EVERY time I shop at Kroger, those people quickly become less important. Besides–they can move to me. Apparently, HEB never will.
enough of that.
Eyebrow gel to make them grow??? This is need. Please tell us more.
All *manner* of confusion! So moved by emotion over HEB I can’t even type!
Ha! That whole story made me think of the title of this book (which I have never read, but still): http://www.amazon.com/dp/0399144463/?tag=hyprod-20&hvadid=15473565099&hvpos=1o3&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4077708682118758946&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&ref=asc_df_0399144463
Our Walmart (1604/Nacogdoches) just did a remodel, and they had crackers in the diaper section and all kinds of other crazy things in the wrong places. It was only temporary, though, until they finished the remodel. Funny thing is, the remodel didn’t make it look very different at all. I think the whole thing was a conspiracy to mess with our minds!
Maybe HEB is trying to keep us mentally young by rearranging their aisles!
You have my sympathy on the HEB re-org.
Personally, I like when the re-org is an intentional selling strategy, like at Costco. The management tells me things are frequently rearranged to create a “treasure hunt” experience and make the store more “sticky”. The goal being to keep the shopper in the store longer, etc. I told the manager he was grossly overestimating my commitment level if he thought I was going to march all over the store with three children in tow.
Good luck with the brows, the cheese, and all things Big Mama-related.
The one constant in life is CHANGE. And I HATE it.
It’s not just grocery stores. I work at Macy’s and they move stuff around almost daily! I don’t work all that often so it’s even worse for me. Every day is like my first day! I hate that. The people who do it come in early and even when I work a few days in a row, it changes. Very frustrating. I do not like change, expecially in the grocery store. It’s stressful!!
I’m pretty much convinced that the reason HEB moves their stores around is so they can raise the prices. My “regular” HEB just remodeled/redesigned the cosmetics/personal care area & there are stil some things I have haven’t found yet! Sorry…..rant over.
Yep. It is all about marketing and making you spend more. Also, they are increasingly dropping items that are not private label. I will be really P.O.’d when I can’t find my Bush’s Beans! But, let me tell you. Up in NY, there is this awesome store called Wegman’s. They are the smartest store on the planet. Not only do they have a fantastic restaurant and coffee bar (with plenty of seating) they also have….wait for it….
Kid’s Corner. Yes, a babysitting room. Age 2 – I think 8 or 9. You check them in, get a wristband (both of you) and a beeper. And you can stay for an hour. It was AWESOME! I have never spent so much money in a store. Which was a great store on it’s own merit. But, let me tell you. I went 3 -4 times per week. Not kidding.
in the NW and here in AK, we have that same kindercare option at the Fred Meyer stores. It’s a Kroger company.
UGH!!! They did that at ours too and I HATE it!!! None of it makes sense! The milk and butter are all the way at the end of the store over by the paper towels and the pharmacy!!! And not only did them move groups of stuff around but they even took stuff off one aisle and decided to put it with a whole new group of stuff on another aisle. It is sooooooo frustrating!! now grocery shopping takes 2x longer because you have hunt for things. This was obviously some man’s idea of good organization!
Does the eyebrow gel work? I am supposed to let mine grow in some in the inner corners (corners? are they corners???)- and it looks AWFUL right now.
They were doing that at my Kroger yesterday! I had to stop three workers to ask them if that was the chili seasoning they were wheeling across the store.
I just had to tell y’all…I was at Target late one night, scouring the boys’ section for a superhero t-shirt my son needed for the next day (thanks for the heads up, honey), when what did I see? They had relocated the imported beer to a tall shelf in the boys’ clothing section! Wha? In defense of my red-shirted (not a football reference) Target friends, they ARE renovating/adding that fresh grocery section that all Targets now have, but seriously? Who thought that was a good temporary location for the booze? “Here son, have a six pack of Corona with your new pajamas?”
I lived in a town with one small grocery store for about 3 years. Every 6 months they would entirely re-arrange the entire store. The theory is that you have to walk down every aisle to find what you want, & in doing so, will pick up items you didn’t even know that you wanted! It was really annoying, & since it was the only grocery store for 50 miles, I didn’t have any other options but to put up with it!
Same story here, one grocery store, one dollar store, one convenience store and they all rearrange every 6 months. I think it only happens because the “higher ups” need a new project to oversee. I’d like to see some verification that people actually spend more money after the rearrangement/added needless chaos to my life takes place!
LOL! Just read your blog that The Pioneer Woman shared and then came to your site to find this dandy. HILARIOUS! I’ll be a regular…
)
Blog about the eyebrow gel . . . . you pretty much summed up my feeling on organic fruit . . . I’ll pay later when the pesticides kill me.
I share your pain. I hate it when my grocery store rearranges things. Everytime they ask me if I found everything okay, I tell them yes, so it must be time for them to change things around again.
There was a Good Luck Charlie episode where Gabe went to cotillion with his friend. That’s probably where Will heard about it.
Referring to the side note of the story…I want to hear about the eyebrow gel?!
LOL. I think you’re funny in general, but this really cracked me up.
“The cheese stood alone.” LOL.
This..is the….FUNNIEST….thing ever!!!!!!!!!!! I fell off my couch laughing. Thanks for a great laugh today. This is a true representation of how women think!
Please, please share about the eyebrow gel to help them grow.
I HATE it when they do that! They re-organize our store every 3 or so years! And then, when I can’t find something–there is no one around to ask! Makes me crazy. I feel your pain.
As a former food sales rep for a large CPG manufacturer, I can tell you they did it for the money. Someone behind the scenes has figured out what items have the highest profit margins and they rearrange the whole store to get you to buy more of that. It changes periodically as new products come out, so they reset the store periodically. It’s a pain. But there’s a reason.
Just pretend you’re playing I Spy or I’m Going On A Treasure Hunt or Scavenger Hunt or something. It’s honestly the only way to get through a new set without killing someone.
They are “remodeling” our Schertz HEB and I just don’t understand it. It worked just FINE before the complete overhaul. I too love HEB but really wish we had some competition (not Walmart) in grocery stores here in San Antonio. I love going to Randalls in Austin when I visit there. Not cheap but such a nice shopping experience.
Oh it drives me crazy too!! But, as a TX girl in TN, while I do love me some Publix I miss HEB! And free sushi samples.