I really couldn’t be more excited about what I’m about to tell y’all.
The new Target opened yesterday. And it’s less than five miles from my house. And it has a Starbucks in it. If you walked outside around 9:30 a.m. yesterday morning and thought you heard the Hallelujah chorus, there’s a good chance it was me when I pulled into the Target parking lot.
I didn’t even need anything at Target. I just wanted to see it.
And here’s the verdict:
It looks pretty much like every other Target out there.
And just like I do every time I walk in a Target, I managed to walk out of there with stuff I didn’t even really know I needed. Except for the thirty new plastic hangers I bought. I was in dire need of more hangers. And P thought he was hilarious when I pulled them out of my Target sack and he said, “Way to go, Jen Hatmaker. Way to reduce the clothing in your closet.”
But this isn’t really about Target except for now it is. I really wanted to tell you about my day of shopping with Caroline on Monday. Mainly because I want to use it as a reference point the next time I decide it’s a good idea to take her to the mall.
It all started on Sunday morning. A cold front blew in and I went to her closet to find something for her to wear and remembered that she’d pretty much outgrown everything from last winter because she’s growing at a rate of two inches a week. But I managed to find a pair of jeans that were long enough as long as she tucked them into her almost-too-small boots and then pulled out one of two long sleeve tops that still come to her wrists.
So on Sunday afternoon we decided to tackle the boots first. She needed a good pair of cowboy boots for the ranch and just to wear around. We headed to Cavender’s Boot City because if you can’t find boots at a place with Boot City in the name then I can’t help you. And, sure enough, she found her dream boots after we were only in the store for about three minutes.
It was so easy.
Painless.
Drama-free.
And since that didn’t take much time, I decided we should run by Gap to look for new jeans. Other than the fact that we got into a small argument over whether or not she had to actually try them on in the store, it went fairly well.
(YES. YES YOU DO HAVE TO TRY THEM ON. Your father is the only person I buy clothes for without him trying them on. Mainly because he only goes in clothing stores about once every three years.)
(Please note: Cabelas and Academy do not count as clothing stores in my mind.)
We ended up with two pairs of jeans and a denim jacket. Sadly we didn’t end up with the other fifty-eight things I thought were darling because “that’s just not my style”.
But I still felt like she needed some new tops and maybe a sweater or two. Maybe even (BLESS MY HEART.) a dress. That’s why I decided it was worth it to spend the first half of Monday shopping at La Cantera. I figured Nordstrom wouldn’t do us wrong.
And it didn’t. There were dozens of cute tops and fun little skirts and jeans in all colors. But we only left there with one shirt because “these just aren’t my style”.
So we headed to Zara because it’s always been my ace in the hole. They have the best kids’ clothes and we’ve always found stuff there. Plus, Caroline always tells me she wants clothes that look like the things I wear and Zara has a bunch of things I’d wear if they came in my size.
Nope.
Nothing.
I held up leopard print leggings with darling tunics. Eighty-four different white shirts (you know how I love a white shirt), fur vests, denim dresses and funky t-shirts.
Nada.
(That’s nothing in Spanish. Because I am muy bilingual.)
I stood back and just let her look through the racks to see if she might have more success if she wasn’t hindered by my obvious love of something.
Ultimately she didn’t like any clothes in any of the stores and I had to bite my lip until I thought I’d pass out. And the worst part is I never could get her to articulate what “her style” is. Best I can tell based on past outfit choices, it’s a cross between what Taylor Swift would wear and a hobo.
And you can’t really find that at GapKids.
We left the mall with two shirts. And I’ve decided that it’s not my problem if she only has three things to wear all winter long.
Let’s just hope those three things look good with cowboy boots because those are the only shoes that come in her style at the moment besides her tennis shoes.
After the mall we went and picked up one of her friends so they could play that afternoon. But first I had to run a few quick errands, including a stop at one of her classmate’s homes. I left the girls in the car while I ran to the front door to pick something up and looked back and saw that Caroline had rolled down the back window and was hanging out of it.
As I walked back to the car I must have said, “GET BACK IN THE CAR” at least five times. My patience was at an all-time low and I thought my head might explode, but I really try to avoid going all Miss Hannigan when she has a friend with her. I hate to frighten children other than my own.
So I said, “GET BACK IN THE CAR” one final time as I opened my car door and got in the car. And I assumed that SIX TIMES of your mother telling you to get back in the car would suffice. But I was wrong. Because I shut my car door and immediately heard a piercing scream.
I had slammed the tip of her middle finger in my car door.
Which led to that whole motherhood dilemma of “I feel bad that you’re hurt” versus “You kind of had it coming because you didn’t listen”.
Fortunately it was just the very end of her finger. And I know it must have hurt like monkeys fixing your hair but we put ice on it right away and it honestly looks better than I thought it was going to look.
And that was my Monday.
Which is why I came home after soccer practice and ate a huge piece of chocolate cake for dinner. Because sometimes you just need butter and chocolate and flour.
And maybe a Target that’s only five minutes away.
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Did you just say “hurt like monkeys fixing your hair”? That is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day and it is officially my new favorite thing to say.
I thought that was absolutely hilarious…I truly did “laugh out loud”!
Me too.. I read and then re-read..just to make sure I was reading it right..and now have adopted that little puppy for my very own…You are so REAL and thanks for that.
“see if she might have more success if she wasn’t hindered by my obvious love of something.” — that is my exact experience shopping with my teenage girls, and also, recently but to a lesser degree with my 10yo. We HINDER them with our enthusiasm. How did we go become the style kiss of death? This I do not understand.
Mary
I thought you were on the right track when you backed off and let her look! That’s the secret with my daughter. I keep all opinions to myself (unless it’s something totally inappropriate). Good luck & keep us posted on “her style”. I’m dying to know what it is!
I’m totally impressed with P’s Jen Hatmaker reference! I just read one of her books (Ms. Understood) and talk about her all the time!
I just read Jen Hatmaker’s book ’7: an experimental mutiny against excess’ and totally got what P meant about your stash of hangars. This is an excellent and thought provoking book, I’m mulling over a lot of my attitudes. As for shopping with a pre-teen daughter, try to just roll with her moods and never go shopping on an empty stomach (both of you). These are trying days my friend. Thank the good Lord that my girls are now adults and shop (and pay) for their clothing.
Would it make you feel any better if I told you by 6 AM on Tuesday we already had secured the quote of the week in our house? And that quote was “I wish I was the mom so I could make you wear ugly clothes!!” Said with all the drama, hurt, and injustice the my nine year old daughter could muster.
We’ve made it through though – thankfully.
Oh my. That just cracked me up. Still chuckling. Thanks.
I have laughed out loud throughout this entire post because OHHOWICANRELATE.
And speaking of Jen Hatmaker (Kudos, P!), I’m in the clothing chapter of 7 (having let the food chapter greatly convict but apparently not move me at all), and I’m thinking you should just consider Caroline’s winter wardrobe a sort of Seven experiment. 
(I also am reminded of my great fondness for the parenthesis.) 
(And the winkie face.) Happy Thursday!
I enjoyed the post but laughed out loud at “hurt like monkeys fixing your hair”. Oh my. And I love Athena’s idea to make Caroline’s wardrobe a “7″ experiment! LOL
Ha! I love it! I have a 7 year old who loves fashion. And what I mean by “fashion” is anything I think totally inappropriate. And so the drama. Taking her to my beloved Target is a recipe for disaster. The girls clothes there at least around here are awful. (of course the rest of the place is wonderful) And so I don’t as often as possible. That place and me have a love affair and she ain’t ruining it. Oh and mine has a Starbucks too, heaven.
I just have to say, “God bless Texas”, where a tween girl shopping trip begins with a trip to the boot store:-) LOVE!
I can so feel your pain, as we spent most of Monday frantically shopping for a homecoming dress and shoes. I kid you not, in the time we spent at the dress shop debating dresses for my 15 year old (and left without a decision to go pick up her sister before returning to finally pull the trigger!)a woman actually chose her wedding dress! We felt a little high mainteneance by comparison- ha!
Oh, amen and amen about Target! I went in mine on Monday and came out with a cart FULL of stuff I didn’t know I couldn’t live without until I saw it in the store. Mine has a Starbucks too, so a trip to Target is a full-on sensory experience.
I have a 16yo, so I can relate to the shopping drama. I learned several years ago to NEVER comment on a clothing item I like. It’s the kiss of death. I just let her pick out what she likes and we get it, unless I use my veto power if it’s inappropriate. Which many things are these days!
Happy shopping!
I fel your pain. I think two pieces of cake might have done the trick better. I honestly will do everything I can not to shop with my 8 year old. I’ve even gone to the store with the idea that I will buy stuff and then I can just take back what she doesn’t want. But, she yanked all the tags off and then (without wearing them) said she didn’t want any of them a month later.
Sigh. I feel your pain having been shopping for a dress for my 9 year old daughter to wear to a wedding. Anything I love she think is “hideous” and anything she loves looks just plain cheap and/or inappropriate. As for the rest of her clothes, apparently if it isn’t skin tight, it is “too big” or “makes her look fat.” Hard to find winter things that fit that description for someone who is 4’8 and weighs 60 lbs. Sigh…
Yeah- that’s on my agenda today. I’m starting with a manicure in hopes that she’ll be so intoxicated with her nails that she forgets to argue. If that doesn’t work, I’m totally smashing her finger in the door. Incidentally, I did slam her pointer finger in the door at Target three years ago. Every time we go, she reminds me of the entire thing…again.
Just wait until prom dress shopping comes your way. A piece of unsolicited advice: don’t pick ANYTHING! Let Caroline do the picking because no matter what dress you pick, she won’t like it. Just sit back and hope she picks one of the dresses you like. Otherwise, you’ll be shopping throughout the entire state of Texas before you find “the one”. Trust me on this.
I so can relate to this post.. Thankfully I am at the other end of the spectrum now with a 20 year old daughter. I still FEEL those memories of the growth spurts and the failed outings in search of clothes, to the GET BACK IN THE CAR, spoken gently because her friends are near. I had to think a bit about your reference to hurting like monkeys fixing your hair.. and when it dawned on me what it meant I laughed out loud… May your next 10 years be filled with many more happy memories!
I have learned silence is the best comment when seeing what my 9 yr old picks out. Not always what I would pick, but I figure if she is confident in it, that is all that matters. Thankfully I can still shop for her and she will wear 80% of what I buy. We went through the same dilemma when the weather turned cold. The one thing she asked for was a Puma jacket–so she got a workout set bought in the boys department. Happy as a clam.
The other item she asked for were black Chuck Taylors. Since they will do double duty as part of her Halloween costume, I obliged those, too. Thankfully her 7 yr old sister is happy with hand-me-downs. 
I was going to suggest taking Caroline to Target for clothes, but then I remembered what I saw in the kids section at Target yesterday. I’m pretty sure that style would be called Vegas Call Girl.
Butter and chocolate will fix anything…especially if you put a little Target in there.
I had to read this one to my hubby to reinforce the idea that Cabelas and Academy do not count!
Next time bring Caroline’s friend with you shopping. When she says something looks cute it will have the opposite affect of when you say it (i.e. Caroline will immediately decide whatever she has on is suddenly her style when her friend likes it). I don’t have kids, I just can’t go shopping with my mom (even as an adult). I don’t mean to, but the second she says she likes something… I see everything that is wrong with it.
Ok, I am thinking you have cracked the code! Next time I take my daughter shopping we will take a friend. LOVE that idea! It might actually work!
Don’t take the friend! You will rue the day! It will be two against one and you can’t ground/threaten the friend.
I learned the keep-my-mouth-shut-while-shopping-with-daughter concept a couple of years ago while shopping for a prom dress. Memories of that trip can still make me break out in hives! Luckily, she found a dress (a cheap one, at that! well, relatively speaking) but totally fleeced me on the shoes. I still say it was worth it to get out of the mall with most of my hair and some of my fingernails left. I don’t shop much with her anymore, she buys her own clothes. But I think I already rue the day when a wedding dress is on the shopping agenda…
Oh my goodness, the clothing wars have started. You have about ten years of it ahead of you. And, trust me on this one, your best strategy will be to go to the ugliest, dare-I-say-skankiest? item of clothing on the rack, tell her how cute it is and how much you just LOOOVVE it, and she will turn around and pick the most conservative thing in the store. Worked for me . . . three times around.
You have only just begun. Teenagers suck. I only wish that I was kidding. My oldest son has the style of…who am I kidding…you can’t call basketball shorts and a shirt that doesn’t match with a pair of “slides” anything close to a style. BUT he is a bit more interested in acquiring style now that he is a freshman. I jumped on that bandwagon and purchased him the most AMAZING jacket from Abercrombie & Fitch. I spent way too much, but since I’ve only purchased basketball shorts from Academy for the past 12 or so years, I figured I had saved up. I don’t know anything about jackets or describing them, so you will just have to trust me about the awesomeness of it. It was army green. That’s all I can say. And it’s obviously a pretty trendy style because Jack on Revenge wears one and so do a bunch of actors on tv. Score, right?
Wrong. It was too “busy” for him. You mean because it had BUTTONS? OMG…shoot me.
I wish I could tell you it is going to get better, but it is not. You have to keep reminding yourself that your opinion is not needed prior to her expressing her opinion. Another tip for you – if you should take Caroline shopping with a friend, just window shop – not actual purchasing. I got sucked into this trap with one of my daughter’s friends, and she kept bringing me all these skanky clothes (way too short skirts/strapless dresses for a 13 yr old) and telling me her mother would totally let her buy/wear them if she was there, and wasn’t that just fine by me? Not. You don’t want to say that clothes look skanky and offend, so I kept telling her she should try to pick something off the floor without her panties showing in the short skirts and it was pretty much impossible. She kept telling me she wasn’t an active girl, so short skirts were ok … Whatever! Never again ….
I am nodding knowingly, having recently been shopping with my own 9 year old. 9, going on 16. My 7 year old is worse. We had to find a purple shirt for spirit day, and it nearly killed me. “Mom. I don’t like buttons.” Many shirts later, I hold up a shirt with buttons on the cuff. Just a knit shirt. The buttons are purely decorative. She looked at me like I was a complete idiot. “Mom?” And she just held the buttons so I could see. When it got chilly enough for pants (which was long ago here in Wisconsin), I took her pants shopping. We were gone about 1 1/2 hours. We went to many stores. She tried on 26 pairs of pants. I counted. She deemed THREE of them acceptable.
Oh my word! The clothing war!! My girls are now 18 & 19 but that doesn’t stop the drama of shopping!
I can just hear those “that’s not really my style!” words. Which I have about a million times. The funny thing is….my girls were both selected as BEST DRESSED in high school.
Thanks be to the Lord….they can do their own shopping now. And much of the time THEIR OWN MONEY SPENDING!!!
Sorry about the slammed finger! Ouch to the little punkster! I understand how fun it is to party when you’ve got a friend watching! hehe
Love Target! They never listen, do they? Grrr.
You know, I have often noticed similarities between Caroline and my daughter (who is now 22), so I’ll tell you what worked with her–because we had many shopping trips where she turned into little miss insta-NO– I swear the word was out of her mouth before she even looked at the item. For some reason, known only to God and Taylor Swift, if I went shopping without her and brought things home, they would be fine. The same items she would utterly reject as unacceptable if we were in the store. Go figure. I never understood it. It doesn’t work with jeans, of course, because they have to try those on, but with things like tops and leggings, it almost always worked. You want her to pick her own stuff, but sometimes I think it’s just too much pressure. Plus, at that age it’s much more fun to go shopping without them anyway. good luck.
This worked with both of my girls during the years that a root canal was preferable to taking them clothes shopping. Don’t make a big deal about it, just say I bought some stuff for you when I was out today. Make sure there’s at least one really tacky outfit and that will help C like everything else, too.
I have a 15 year old daughter and I agree with BarbN. When she was nine or so I would pick things out and bring them home and mostly, she liked them. But here’s another thing I did, I told her we are not keeping it all so don’t go in there and say you want all of it because I spent too much planning to take some of it back. Then it’s not so much pressure of ALL THE RACKS of the WHOLE STORE. If she liked it all, I would “begrudgingly” agree to keep it with the warning not to make me sorry I let her keep it all by not wearing it. Deceptive? Queen of guilt trips? Hi, that’s me. They’ll live.
“must have hurt like monkeys fixing your hair”. haha. I am still laughing and am stealing this line! I also have a Target 2 minutes away. It’s a blessing and a curse. Enjoy!
Oh my word.
*laughing aloud*
Oh my word…..*tries to think up something else* ….. *starts laughing again and gives up*
Oh, BigMama. You do our hearts good.
OK, I got weak in the knees hearing about her finger.
Other than that, all I can say is BLESS YOU!!!! I KNOW how it is for us poor mamas sometimes.
My 11 year old perpetually has virtually no clothes for this very reason. She does not like ANYTHING we look at. What’s worse is that she will find something that she does like in the store and then once we get home she will change her mind and never wear it. Shopping with her is the most exhausting thing on earth.
“hurt like monkeys fixing your hair”
That has to be the best description of pain I have ever read. I have a two year old who likes to “fix” my hair, so bless Caroline’s heart, I know what intense pain that must have been!
Okay….so mom moments like yours are soooo funny to me. A couple of weeks ago I was at McDonald’s with some friends and their kids. One of the little two year old boys was running around like a crazy person, he fell, and we heard him whimper a little. His mom (who is very sweet) said “Well, guess you deserved that”. The little guy stood up, turned around and looked at us, and blood was POURING out of his mouth. As soon as we got him calmed down….and as soon as the bleeding stopped…..we all had a good laugh.
I must be missing the funny in this.
I’d take her to good will! Seriously. Lots of fine clothing, cheap and if she decides it ‘isn’t her style’, oh well.
Alternatively, I’ve found that the idea to shop and bring things home works with my daughter.
Pretty much love this! I found myself saying to my husband yesterday about our 14 month old..”AND WE HAVEN”T EVEN HIT THE TERRIBLE TWO’S YET!” I might have been screaming it to the sky because whew, a mama can only take so much when every person in her house has the flu! Oh and that includes our dogs…they are not feeling well either…Nap Nap must take a nap!
Oh, how I laughed at this post – and then got really frightened because my 2 year old little girl already has definite opinions about her clothing options. She will scream and kick until I pull out a pair of shoes she deems acceptable. I assumed her twin brother would be the easy one until the other day he decided that pants are not acceptable nor were a particular type of polo shirt I put him in. And boy, he screamed and screamed until I changed him. It was the one day we had here in H-town where it was 55 degrees and he went to church in shorts. Oh well. The fun begins…
The bright side I see about the lack of Caroline’s wardrobe this winter is an increased budget for Big Mama : ) You can buy things that cost $20 now, not just $15 : )
Two words – FELT HANGERS!! Your closet will feel so empty you will feel the need to replenish immed. You’re are welcome P
“Best I can tell based on past outfit choices, it’s a cross between what Taylor Swift would wear and a hobo.” Oh my goodness, so funny. I laughed and had to read this to my husband because that’s exactly how I would describe my oldest daughter’s style. Hilarious!
I had 2 sons. Now 2 granddaughters…..wow. Totally understand
I have a 16 month old daughter, and I’m not gonna lie…I LOVE dressing her. And you’re telling me I only have 9ish years before this happens to me? I am gonna start mourning now.
And will somebody please explain to your dear C that a mother who takes her daughter to Nordstrom to shop is the BEST MOTHER EVER!
Oh, and I love Target, but it is like the black hole of death to my wallet.
Between the monkeys comment and the style like Taylor Swift & a hobo, I was literally laughing out loud.. ANNND boy can I relate to the “you wouldn’t have gotten hurt if you would have listened” thought, that is the story of my sons life, LITERALLY every time I say don’t, stop, you’re not allowed, ect something happens, its inevitable.
I jist howled at this sentence: And I know it must have hurt like monkeys fixing your hair but we put ice on it right away and it honestly looks better than I thought it was going to look. Oh my word – too funny!
I didn’t read all of the comments, but for success with my like-minded child, I turn her loose on the internet websites of appropriate stores and say – show me what you like….we then can have a starting place, and I don’t have to live through the drama of the actual store visit. I love online shopping!
My ten year old refuses to shop with me- Which means she is really not MY child- I mean she came from my body and all, but not sure where she gets the anti-shopping gene! I was born to shop! As far as clothes go, she has her own style too- She is liking all the loose FLASHDANCE looking dance attire out now- Problem is that she wants to wear it all the time- Not just for JAZZ and TAP class! It’s not a good everyday look!