Big Mama Blog

Betting on the Aggies and royalty

Frankly, I’m glad the election is over. Now I can fully concentrate on the real issue at hand, which is obsessing over A&M’s game against Alabama this weekend. More importantly, can we beat them?

I’m going to go with a big yes. It’s totally possible. Any given Saturday and all that business.

I know. I know. Roll tide and blah, blah, blah and they have the Father, the Son, and the Ghost of Bear Bryant on their side, but I still am believing we’ll get the upset.

Because there is no harm in hoping for the best.

So there’s that.

I’ve also been spending a lot of time at Starbucks in an attempt to get some writing finished. I try to sit in the same chair every day because I am a creature of habit and also because it has an electrical outlet in close proximity. And since I sit in the same spot every day, I’ve made friends with the retired gentleman who sits right next to me every single morning in his sweatpants and baseball cap and reads every newspaper that’s ever been printed.

We always engage in a little small talk and Tuesday morning was no different. We discussed our thoughts on the election and then somehow this segued into a conversation about how neither Jenna Bush nor Chelsea Clinton are pregnant yet. I’m not sure why he’s so concerned about this because I can honestly say it falls in the category of things that have never crossed my mind. But apparently he’s thought about it quite a bit. It concerns him. He isn’t sure what it all means.

I tried to reassure him that some women just like to be married for a while. Case in point, ME. I shared that I was married six years before I had Caroline at age thirty-two. He told me I was the exception.

Then he brought up Kate Middleton.

And here’s what you need to know. I consider myself to be practically an expert on Kate Middleton. I read blogs solely devoted to what she wears. I have studied her hair like it’s a science project. And the highlight of the entire Olympic Ceremonies for me was any time they showed her on camera.

My point is that I don’t think my Starbucks friend was prepared for the level of knowledge and insight I was about to bring to this topic. I mean, judge me if you want, but I have put some thought into when Kate Middleton is going to have babies.

(I just want you to know that P is rolling his eyes at me right now as he reads this.)

(Whatever. Some of us are obviously more into cutting edge news.)

So I filled this man in on my whole theory that the powers that be over in the UK have given Kate two years of marriage before she has to give them an heir. Mainly because they figured she needed to look her best during the Queen’s Jubilee year and the Olympics. But I think it’s now just a matter of time before she has a royal bun in the royal oven.

He disagreed with me. I’m not sure what his reasoning is or why he didn’t trust my full analysis of the situation (possibly complete with a diagram drawn on a napkin) but he thinks it will still be a few years. And, ultimately, we ended up betting a cup of coffee on whether or not Kate will be pregnant by April.

(Kate, if you’re reading this, no pressure but I’d like to win this bet.)

After a few hours I came home and P asked how the writing went. And I told him all about my bet, mainly because I wanted him to tell me that I was right. Instead he said, “So it’s a crucial Election Day and you spent all this time talking to some stranger about when some princess is going to have a baby?”

Listen. You don’t know my life.

First, he’s not a stranger. I see him at least three times a week. He wears sweatpants and house shoes that look like moccasins.

Second, I am 78% certain I’m going to get a free cup of coffee out of this deal and who’ll be laughing then?

In other news, I’m no botanist but I think something is wrong with our pumpkin.


Where’s a fruit thief when you really need one?

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  1. 1

    Scrolling down on my iPhone. I wasn’t quite prepared for that level of “wrong” with your pumpkin. Gets a gold medal in wrong

  2. 2

    I like how the little one behind it is laughing merrily at its demise.

  3. 3

    I’m with you on the royal baby watching, although I suspect they are actively trying/ letting what happens happen, as opposed to operating in “prevent” mode. The instances of her refusing peanuts and wine make me think that she is avoiding those on the theory that she might be pregnant.

  4. 4

    Holy Cow! Your last line and picture cracked me up…wasn’t expecting it. “I’m no botanist but I think something is wrong with our pumpkin.”

    I can’t even imagine that tiny woman pregnant. She’ll need help walking just to keep from pitching over!! Nevertheless, she and William will have BEAUTIFUL babies.

  5. 5

    Wouldn’t it be something if the Aggies beat Alabama?

    I think you are right about the Kate pregnancy plan. England had too much going on this year.
    They need that exciting news another time.

    I bet you make the dear man at Starbucks day.

  6. 6

    oh my! your sad pumpkin! made me laugh out loud at work. and i’m still laughing everytime i scroll up and to look again. thanks for that :)

  7. 7

    Thank you for the laugh! I needed that today. :) Men just don’t understand the importance of these issues. Why did I not know about Kate Middleton wardrobe blogs??! Where can I find them?

  8. 8

    LOL over ‘where’s the fruit thief when you need him?” : ) )
    Hope you win the bet.

  9. 9

    Thankful for this morning laugh!

  10. 10
    Erin Seaman says:

    I want a picture of the diagram on the napkin. Although the pumpkin was hilarious!

  11. 11

    Haha! Too bad the fruit theif only takes underripe fruit… as opposed to MATURE overripe fruit.

  12. 12

    Will reread this post all day. It’s all about perspective…and you’ve got it!

  13. 13

    My husbands parents were married the same year as Charles and Diane and each had their first sons within six months of each other. My husband and I were married the very same day as William and Kate (which basically shoots us WAY up there in the BFF category). Naturally we have to continue this progression of royal similarities so I’m VERY interested in when Kate has a baby. Unlike William and Kate, there are no tabloids asking “When will Sarah and Christopher have their first baby?”, but there are a lot of would-be grandmothers asking! ;)

  14. 14

    Hilarious! I love how you write with good, rich sarcasm. It’s my favorite..seriously. Very funny and very well written!

  15. 15

    Well…in my professional opinion as someone with 3 degrees in agriculture, there IS indeed something really wrong with your pumpkin…and I don’t need another degree in botany to diagnose it as the mold hath cometh with the only prescription is the trash or better yet, the compost heap to make some good mulch for next year’s pumpkin(s)!!!

  16. 16

    I bit the bullet and bought tickets to the Aggies last home game. I am embarrassed to say that I haven’t brought them to Kyle Field yet. Oh the shame!
    The real reason, of course, is that I had to purchase 7 packs of Christmas Cards from the oldest kid’s fundraiser so that he could meet his quota. Since I mail out picture cards every year, this caused me much concern. So I bought the Aggie cards and figured I could enclose a snapshot of the boys at the game, so that I don’t totally break my Christmas Card tradition. This will be the most expensive Christmas Card I ever mailed out when you factor in the cost of the tickets.
    Is my bad-school-spirit-and-parenting slip showing?

  17. 17

    You crack me up. I love it and your blog!

  18. 18

    Thanks for the laugh this morning. And Roll Tide!

  19. 19

    That was hilarious!!! I needed to LOL after the last 14 hours of my life! LOL!!!

  20. 20

    You make me laugh every single day! We would so be friends if I knew you in real life, and I KNOW our husbands would get along just fine. They could just roll their eyes and shake their heads together.

  21. 21

    Be careful! That mess will stain your steps!!!

  22. 22

    Anything is possible so yes, your Aggies CAN beat Alabama, though you’d have a better shot if the game were in your own backyard.

    However – – – there’s a passel o folks who are ranked 3,4,5,6, etc who will be PULLING for you to stem the Crimson Tide.

  23. 23

    I was not prepared at all for the picture, I am seriously laughing! I love your humor, I always laugh when reading your blog.

  24. 24

    I am so so thankful for you, this blog, and the laughs you provide for me daily!!

    You’re still setting a book aside for me, right?!?!?!?! :)


  25. 25

    Here’s hoping you win your cup of coffee!!! Would love a royal baby soon!!!

    But I must say……

    ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  26. 26

    That pumpkin pic is hysterical, love your line about the fruit thief!

    Ok so I am intrigued about the style blog you read about Kate, can you share the link? I’m jibe of obsesse with her too, and would love to check it out.

  27. 27

    With today’s KateMiddleton disclosure, I feel somewhat LESS crazy to admit here that I have made a point of pinning nearly every appearance she’s made on it’s own Pinterest board.

    . . . Ok . . . I take that back. It still looks really crazy. I’m sure random people who have friended me b/c we were in the same high school/college class surely think I am a KateStalker.

    . . . Ok. FINE. I am. LOL

  28. 28

    Loved the post, as always, and especially loved the pumpkin picture.

  29. 29
    Melissa H. says:

    Well, I am showing my age here, but my interest was with Princess Diana. When she got married my college dorm mates and I got up in the middle of the night to watch the ceremony. I bought any magazine she was featured in, I even bought a book about her (I wonder if it is worth more than I paid for it?) and wanted to know what she wore, how she stayed fit, her hair and anything she might be doing. Years later when she was killed it really bothered me.

    So, though I am only mildly interested in Kate, I do understand everyone’s fascination. And I did get up to watch her wedding to William.

  30. 30

    LOL! I love that last line. I am thinking I should maybe go check on ours. Luckily we have a neighbor who feeds them to his goats!

  31. 31

    I love your writing like I love Kate Middleton (now Windsor, I believe). I may or may not have paid a visiit to her pre-wedding hotel on my trip to London last year. (The Goring, but I’m sure you already knew that.) And I was just discussing this “issue” issue with a friend (a real life one as opposed to my Dream BFF, Kate). She questioned if there might be a problem with Will’s er, equipment, but my theory was they probably had that checked at his birth. At any rate, I’m totally with you and think you will be winning that cup of coffee.

  32. 32

    absolutely hysterical! thanks for the much needed laugh!

  33. 33

    Did I tell you that I made my first visit to the A&M campus a few weeks ago?!! And I must say, I was quite enamored with it! The drive in was beautiful, we met fabulous, friendly people and it just re-affirmed my alliance with the Aggies and NOT the Longhorns.

    As for your pumpkin, ask the same question when we see tress that are different colors. Is it turning colors or is it just dead from heat exhaustion?

  34. 34

    Thank you so much for writing one of the most entertaining blogs I’ve ever had the pleasure to follow. I look forward to checking my morning email (im in australia) and finding your latest post, always a guaranteed great start to my day. Love, love, love your work!

  35. 35

    Oh your topics today brought joy to my heart! Football and royalty are much better that than election results discussed till my ears want to fall off! My beloved Buckeyes are off this weekend so, I’ll be watching some of the other games. I’ll be rooting for your team because I’d love to see some chaos in the BCS standings! Oh, I am a mega Kate fan too. I read the What Did Kate Wear blog too. And her hair is perfection. I think it might be why I can’t cut mine off. I want my hair to be a blonde version of hers. Or Kate Beckett’s from the show Castle. My sister and I have had some discussion about the whole royal baby thing too and we were thinking the same thing as you. Best of luck at winning your cup of coffee and I think your chances are more like 82 percent! If the Fruit Thief shows up at your house send him to Ohio to steal my pumpkin too! It’s looks just as sad or worse than yours. My 12 year old carved a face on both sides!

  36. 36

    I was totally unprepared for the hilarity of the pumpkin. And then, I howled with laughter when you said, “Where’s a fruit thief when you really need one?”

    I’m still in a bit of shock over someone stealing your oranges!

  37. 37

    You are so crazy, in a good way :) Got me with the pumpkin picture, too. I told my kids the whole orange thief story, they were outraged for y’all. What is wrong with people? Oranges, really? Could he not just go to Bilo?

  38. 38

    Since I know you won’t laugh–I seriously read that the reason Kate Middleton isn’t pregnant yet is that the English Parliament is considering changing the sucession plan so that Williams eldest child-male or female–will be heir to the throne. Right now-males are always first in the line of sucession-even over older female siblings(i.e. Prince Charles and Princess Anne). The issue is supposed to be resolved w/i the next 6 months to a year, and popular thought has it that the timing was perfect-while Will and Kate settle into married life they are also waiting to have children until this issue is resolved.

  39. 39

    Where’s a fruit thief when you really need one? – Love it!

  40. 40

    The fruit thief you’re referring to was at our house Halloween night when he stole my 6 year old daughter’s pumpkin & smashed it in the school parking lot for me to find the next morning! He has also moved up in his shananagans because he also stole my mosaic gazing ball that night & it’s still no where to be found. These fruit thieves must be stopped!

  41. 41

    My face hurts from laughing. Oh my pumpkin horrors.
    I hope you win your bet. ;)

  42. 42

    You will win. I’m pretty sure she reads your blog and as a former commoner, she understands the importance of a stranger coffee bet.

    And we’re gonna need the name of that blog STAT.

  43. 43

    I enjoyed the pumpkin picture and your botanist reference so much, I shared it with my husband and our married daughter. I would read them the line about the botanist and then slowly scroll down to reveal the picture. They both howled with laughter!! And the fruit thief comment was too perfect! As always, you delight me!!

  44. 44

    I started reading your blog because my favorite person in the whole world was my grandmother, Bigmama. I stayed with your blog, because you make me smile, obsess even more over my fashion choices, and because I have a 9 yr old boy, who is every bit as much as a character as C. I have even rooted for your Aggies, but not this week. Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer! Give ‘em hell Alabama! Roll Tide!

  45. 45

    OH MY GOSH!! They totally pulled that one off!! Gigged ‘em and all of that! WOOHOO! You HAVE to be SOOOO right about KATE now! You are seriously just a few months away from FREE coffee!! I am so excited for you!

  46. 46

    Holy Cow! You called that upset! Congrats and I hope you didn’t have a heart attack from the wild game! :)

  47. 47

    You called it – I hope you are able to sleep tonight.

  48. 48

    Whoop! Possibly the best game in A&M’s history and the best part…….people all over America are talking about those Aggies!

  49. 49

    WHOOP! You called it! Go Ags!

  50. 50

    Love this post and LOVE even more that your Aggie’s upset Bama! My grandfather was an Aggie and I am so glad y’all are now in the SEC.

    Much love from a die-hard LSU fan. Sad we couldn’t pull off the upset over Bama, but love that your Aggies did!

  51. 51

    I LOVE the WKW blog! My husband rolls his eyes every time he sees me looking at it as well. And, I totally agree with your assessment of pregnancy timing … I think you’re gonna win this cup of coffee! :)

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