Oooh, it’s like Friday the 13th. Although I have never actually seen any of the 142 installments of the Friday the 13th franchise because I am a big chicken. And while I realize I probably don’t need to fear a psycho in a hockey mask, it’s just better that I stay away. The one time I watched a horror movie I ended up sleeping with my mama for two weeks.
I was eighteen years old.
And I left for college after those two weeks, which was the only reason I stopped sleeping in her bed.
I am woman. Hear me roar.
Anyway, just to keep y’all in the hair loop, I have an appointment to get my hair cut at 1:00 today. I have no idea how brave I am going to be, but after deep introspection I have realized that I have hair issues. In fact, I have decided to share those issues with y’all starting Monday when I will present a Retrospective on My Hair. I believe it will be at least a two day series.
I’m not kidding.
I am seriously going to root deep into my hair issues and share them with y’all in both word and pictorial form. I realize knowing this bit of extreme narcissism is on the horizon will make it difficult for any of y’all to sleep this weekend.
Also, I forgot to mention that when Caroline saw my new red bargain-priced shoes, she gasped and exclaimed, “OH, THOSE ARE CHA-CHA!” I believe she was channeling Dolly Parton as Truvy in “Steel Magnolias”. She does make me proud.
Now for the questions, they are plentiful.
1. Kelli W. asks: “I am a lanky 5 feet 1 inches. And that’s pushing it a little. I have to look for pants in the petites, which in some stores means old lady elastic wiasts, etc. There is a store I love, with affordable but stylish jeans. They fit me great everywhere except, of course, in the legs because they are not petite. Should I hem them and, if so, will they look good?”
Kelli, somehow this question from long ago got lost in my Fashion Folder (a very official document if there ever was one). I apologize for the delay. Anyway, the answer is yes. Hem those jeans.
The trick is to find a tailor who will understand that you want the original hem to remain, otherwise the hem may not go with the rest of the jeans and have a weird look to it. I know that my tailor charges $10 more to use the original hem, but it’s worth it, especially if they have a little distressing on the hem.
2. Darlene asks: “I am going to be going on a Caribbean cruise at the end of February and I need to know if I should take things that are in fall/winter colors, or is it safe to take thing that say “Spring is just around the corner!”? Personally, I like the darker colors over the bright ones, but either way, I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. Do I dare pack my white capris?”
First, please take me with you. You’ll hardly notice I’m there and frankly, I could use the vacation. Don’t let the fact that you don’t know me and that I may overindulge in the all-you-can-eat cocktail shrimp buffet influence your decision.
Secondly, yes. Pack the white capris but by all means make sure you pack the appropriate undergarments. Pantylines are never acceptable, even on the Caribbean sea.
A cruise this time of year is the reason so many retailers come out with what they like to refer to as Resort Wear. It’s basically their way of saying “Hey, we would like you to buy summer clothes in February!” And as long as you use terms like “Resort” and “Cruise” it’s completely acceptable. For an example, check out Neiman Marcus’ Resort Essentials.
And yes, if you shop at Neimans on a regular basis then you probably need a large collection of Resort Wear. However, you can also find cute spring things at Target right now although they’re just called “Cute Spring Clothes”, which doesn’t sound nearly as fancy.
3. Alicia asks: “Help. I bought some Mossimo jeans with flap pockets in the back. Ever since washing them the first time, the flaps on the pockets won’t lay flat! I’ve laid the iron on them for several minutes, but it doesn’t help. Short of sewing them with a needle and thread, I’m at a loss.”
I don’t know if I can help but I will make two suggestions. If y’all have any thoughts on how to redeem these prodigal pockets, leave them in the comments.
I would try to spray them with water and/or spray starch and then iron them flat. However, you may have already attempted this.
If that doesn’t work I think they may have to go to the drycleaners. Or the trash bin. No one needs obstinate pocketage on their rear silhouette. It’s just wrong.
4. Rhonda asks: “I have a kitchen question of the utmost importance for you…i’m wondering if you’ve any suggestions or seen any stylish/cute receptacles to keep dish soap out on the kitchen counter? i’m sick of the plastic bottle that it comes in, but i’m holding out for “the one”!”
I realize this isn’t a fashion question per se, but I am not going to discriminate. After all, what’s the point in owning a fabulous pair of jeans if you’re standing at your sink with a plastic bottle of Dawn Dishwashing Liquid? That’s just tacky.
Anyway, this isn’t the most original idea but I saw it years ago in a magazine and loved it. You need to buy yourself a liquor pourer, which you can find here.
After you have secured a liquor pourer (oh how I want to make some obvious joke about a bartender) then go to an antique shop or someplace like Target and find a pretty glass bottle. Pour in your Dawn, twist on the liquor pourer and there you have it. A pretty, functional dish soap dispenser.
Plus, if you’re having a particularly bad day you can pop that pourer on a bottle of something else, like Diet Coke with Lime.
5. Christina didn’t ask. She suggested: “Maybe you can create a “What the celebrities should have worn to the Golden Globes if there had been Golden Globes” post.”
I thought long and hard about dedicating an entire post to what I believe stars should have worn to the Golden Globes if it were not for the Writer’s Strike that is currently ruining my life. The problem is I don’t really have access to seeing fabulous couture gowns that the celebs get to choose from because life is not fair.
However, if I were to attend an event such as the Golden Globes or anything dressier than say, going to HEB to buy milk, I would love to wear one of these gowns.
This lovely, bargain-priced Valentino. Although I would probably like it better in black.
And this beautiful Vera Wang, even though I’m not sure that yellow would flatter my skintone. But still, it is gorgeous.
Anyway, it would have been fun to compose an entire post about Golden Globe wardrobe possibilities, but I made an executive decision and instead y’all will be treated to endless ramblings about my hair issues both past and present.
I know.
You can hardly wait.
Have a great Friday.