I can’t believe I forgot to mention the passing of JR Ewing. When I first saw it on Twitter late Saturday night, I hoped it was just a false rumor. Like the time I said Ed McMahon had died and he hadn’t. Or the time people said Donny and Marie weren’t the greatest singing duo ever.
But, sadly, it’s true. JR Ewing is no longer with us and I feel like a piece of my childhood has died. Granted, it’s a piece filled with adultery and backstabbing and all manner of inappropriate content, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t hear the opening music to Dallas without immediately thinking about Friday nights at my Me-Ma and Pa-Pa’s house. They did love a good soap opera.
JR Ewing? You will always be my favorite villain.
And I think it’s safe to say that new Dallas will fail without him. Jesse Metcalf and his eyebrows will never fill the void left by JR.
This also seems like a good time to share my Christmas decorating situation. Which is to say that there isn’t one because I haven’t even begun to decorate. I haven’t even gone through the motions of getting P to drag down our boxes from the attic.
But here’s why.
We still have holes in our walls.
I know. We are living like savages.
There are so many reasons why our walls still haven’t been fixed and painted and I’d share them all with you but you would wake up four hours later with hair matted to your face where you wept tears of boredom before you finally fell asleep.
The short version is that the walls are being repaired and painted next week. And we’re also getting built-ins installed so our T.V. will finally have a home that isn’t my antique church pew. So until all that happens I can’t even think about putting up a Christmas tree.
And here’s the thing. I resent being made to feel like a slacker because it’s November 27th and I still have pumpkins on my porch and my dining room table. What if I just like to savor Thanksgiving? What if I just want to live in the now?
What if the fact that it’s still 80 degrees every other day makes it feel absurd to hear Let It Snow on the radio constantly?
Of course no one is really making me feel like a slacker except myself. Well, me and the neighbors who have their yard lit up like a game on The Price is Right. And all those people who keep posting pictures of their Elf on a Shelf taking a bath in mini-marshmallows or being tied up by Lego people.
I would have never brought that Elf into our home had I known it was going to have to perform at that level. I thought it was what the box said, AN ELF. ON A SHELF.
Not in a tub. Not on a boat. Not with a goat.
So here’s where I ask a few questions. Have you already decorated for Christmas? Did you buy a real tree? Are you worried it’s going to be deader than new Dallas by Christmas? Is deader a word?
Also, do you know where I can find some cute Christmas stockings? If I ever get around to decorating, we could really use some new ones.
And on a different note, I wanted to mention the Ladies Christmas Celebration this Monday, December 3rd at River City Community Church. I’m going to be speaking and, even better, there’s going to be music and shopping and just fun in general. It’s only $5 to attend and you can find out more on their information page if you’re interested.