Big Mama Blog

Just a little of not much

So the real world wasn’t so bad yesterday.

I mean, sure, I had to get up while it was still dark outside and pack a lunch and find a backpack that I threw in the laundry room on December 22, but other than that it was fine. Although we did have a moment when Caroline put on her hot pink skinny jeans and I realized she grew about two inches over the Christmas break.

They gave new meaning to the term “high waters”.

I asked her if she wanted to change but she said “NO WAY. I want everyone to see how much I grew over Christmas.” Sadly, I don’t feel the same way about my Christmas growth.

Anyway, we remedied the situation with a pair of boots that covered the too short jeans because fashion faux pas are the mother of invention.

She went off to school and I enjoyed the complete silence of the house for about twenty minutes before I headed up to Starbucks to try and get some writing done. I hadn’t seen my Starbucks buddy for weeks and he immediately remembered he owed me a cup of coffee since Johnny Manziel won the Heisman. We discussed our Christmases and he informed me that Johnny Manziel will probably never get a speeding ticket in Texas. Which is an incredibly random thought and that’s saying something coming from me.

We also discussed Jenna Bush Hager’s pregnancy. Although we hadn’t officially bet on it happening, it had been a topic of discussion.

And then I left Starbucks to go get my eyebrows done. I have to tell you that the eyebrow gel is actually unbelievably effective. I mean, effective to the point that I might need to quit using it so often for fear of looking like the late Larry Hagman.

After that, I went to HEB to buy some groceries and now you just fell asleep because who cares?

I also feel that I should mention I resisted the urge all day long to ask people, “Did you do something jolly with your hair?” If you watched Downton Abbey this makes complete sense. If not, you have no idea what I’m talking about and that makes me sad.

And then we watched the National Championship Game. I’m using the word “game” loosely because it was beyond ugly. Good night. The college playoff system can’t get here fast enough. And the worst part of the game being boring was listening to Musberger talk about how attractive A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend is and no one wants to hear that. Simmer down, grandpa.

So the bad news is I haven’t watched The Bachelor yet. But it’s good to have goals and that gives me something to shoot for later today.

And that’s really all I have to say today. I realize it’s very boring and I apologize for that.

But, I say, did you do something jolly with your hair?

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Comments

  1. 1

    I LOVE that line!!!

    love the show. period.

  2. 2

    Ok wait, what? Eyebrow gel? Is this gel that keeps your brows in place or makes them grow? If it keeps them in place I want to know about it!

  3. 3

    SEC! SEC! 7 championships in a row! Along with a play off system, we need a better broadcaster than ‘ol Brent to call the game. Gag.

  4. 4

    Ha!! When Sir Anthony asked her that, I laughed so hard that my hubs couldn’t understand what on earth I was saying, as I tried to repeat it to him! Love D.A.!

  5. 5

    I definitely need to do something jolly with my hair! When I heard that, I thought, what a great one liner.

  6. 6

    Well, a month ago I took a risk and got my hair cut over here and it is decidedly UN-jolly. Waiting for it to grow out. Also, Praise the Lord (seriously) for PBS full episode streaming.

  7. 7

    From the Shadow of the Golden Dome……it was a sad game for us….but…..I must agree about the “girlfriend” comments…….I thought to myself seriously…..is he talking about her again????? If it was a women’s sporting event would the announcer keep saying….my my he is a handsome man!!!

  8. 8
    Melissa F says:

    What eyebrow gel are you using? If it’s for hair growth, I definitely need it! I love the DA reference.

  9. 9

    LONG time lurker, first time commenter….I just want you to know how much I look forward to your posts in the morning. Yours is the only blog I read while my girls are still at home getting ready in the morning and they always ask what made me laugh so much.

    Thought Musberger went a little skeevy myself last night. Ewww.

    Thanks for the morning pick-me-up.

  10. 10

    Dirty old man Musberger! Ick. And I love the line from DA – my husband and I were watching the season opener on DVR (unfortunate timing of a long call from my mother-in-law resulted in our DVR-ing it) and had to stop the show long enough to laugh and ask each other if we had done something jolly with our hair!

  11. 11

    I loved your comment on Musberger! My husband came home right about then and he did a double take when he over heard that and asked “Is that a PROFESSIONAL announcing crew?!?” Because surely a professional wouldn’t be going on about a woman in the stands.

  12. 12

    “I’m sorry, I thought you were a waiter.”

    Oh, you are in for a TREAT with The Bachelor. It’s like they rounded up the most socially awkward girls they could find and sent them all after Sean. It was so bad it made me cringe. It was great. I love watching because it makes me feel so much better about myself.

    • 13

      Amanda! That’s the line that I LOVED on D.A. and I was going to post the same: “I’m sorry, I thought you were a waiter.” Maggie Smith is a treasure! And regarding the Bachelor, you are correct… my daughter and I actually CRINGED in some instances… OUCH! This is going to be a great season!

      Big Mama: I just found your blog recently and I so love your sense of humor. I look forward to reading you every day!

      • 14

        Oh, that was my favorite line as well. Maggie Smith’s delivery was beyond pertection! My husband and I just about died laughing!

  13. 15

    My comment on the game is this, “How bad is a game if they are showing our highlights?!?!” Don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch the Aggies anytime, but I actually felt sorry for Notre Dame.

  14. 16

    Thank you for confirming I am in fact the only person on the planet yet to see Downtown Abbey! :)

    • 17

      Kim, I haven’t watched it yet either. I was too embarrassed to confess that but once I saw you had confessed I felt like I should as well. :)

      Mel, you are a hoot honey! The entire post was so funny.

  15. 18

    If by “jolly,” you mean “it needs to be washed, like, NOW,” then yes, yes I did. :) I loved that line and the waiter line.

  16. 19

    “May I have a drink? OH! I’m sorry, I thought you were a waiter!!” LOVED DA this week!! So glad that they showed episode 1 and 2 back to back and gave us a long two hour premiere. Saturday nite we had friends over to watch the last two episodes of Season 2 to prep for Sunday night. :) I’m going to start using “darling” and “brilliant” all the time now! :)

  17. 20

    Downton was so funny this week! Love Granny from NY.

    Yeah, what was with Musburger going ON AND ON about the girlfriend. She was beautiful but I think if I was her father or boyfriend, I would want to punch Musburger

  18. 21
    Spiritmom says:

    Seriously, Musburger was such a perv. Disgusted me.

  19. 22

    Someone beat me to the waiter line! It was my favorite this week! But, then again, there were so many others. Can’t wait for next week, and your next post.

  20. 23

    Simmer down Grandpa! Hahaha! Someone should have tweeted that in to him.

  21. 24

    I’m so glad to hear that Brent’s ridiculous fascination with the girlfriend wasn’t just me being crabby because I can’t stand Brent! He was creeping me out!
    Simmer down Grandpa, Indeed!

  22. 25

    Would throwing up a ponytail be considered ‘jolly’? ; )

    Bachelor was…the Bachelor. Worst truck-load of crazy-eyed desperate ‘ladies’ I have seen thus far.

  23. 26

    I didn’t watch the game. I knew that I was supposed to cheer for BAMA since the Aggies beat them and it would look good, but I just didn’t want to. Luckily, my boys weren’t that interested. I said to the oldest, “Tonight’s the BAMA game” and his response was, “And?” We watched “Looper” instead.
    When did Bruce Willis get so old?

  24. 27

    That was the best line!

  25. 28

    Then there was the comment about boys in Alabama should start throwing a football so they can get a pretty girl. That was funny, too!

    I need to start watching Downton Abbey! Seems like I am missing a lot!

  26. 29

    Oh, the waiter line was the one that got me. I was surprised that I didn’t care for Shirley MacLaine’s character nearly as much as I thought I would. Maggie FTW!

  27. 30

    That was such a great line. We laughed and laughed…

  28. 31
    Erin Seaman says:

    Someone somewhere do us all a favor and make a collection of all Maggie Smith’s one line zingers. I LOVE HER!

    And seriously, someone should have been whispering in that guy’s ear to drop it already! Eew! We turned it off at half time to watch the King’s Speech.

  29. 32

    Ok- so now I had to google AJ McCarron’s girlfriend.

    Somehow I missed that part last night. I was too busy thinking how good it must feel for Bama to top off their undefeated season with a blowout win like that….oh that’s right – they weren’t undefeated. The Aggies beat them. Gig ‘em! :)

    Happy New Year! I love your blog!

  30. 33

    It can take days for my husband to notice my hair….our dog goes to the groomers and he is all over that!….so I LOVED the ‘jolly’ comment, too.

  31. 34

    Downton Abbey!!!! My favorite line was, “Oh I’m sorry, I thought you were a waiter.” I fell off the couch laughing!

  32. 35

    I loved that line on DA. “What’s a weekend?” was also a Maggie Smith zinger.

    • 36

      Yes, I still laugh about, “What’s a weekend?”

      And, when she almost fell out of the swivel chair and asked if it was a new invention. Matthew: No, it was invented by Thomas Jefferson. Violet: Everyday involves a fight with an American!

  33. 37

    Long time reader, first time commenting. Would that make me a virgin commentor? let’s try for super ADHD post…. Love your blog, I have an antelope, black buck and other conquest in mt home, DA best show, Obsession with princess Kate, bang or no bang one of the great dilemmas of all time, kitchen of many colors, soccer mama.
    I am still laughing over the anxiety/panic problem with the yappy dog and Lord help Me the vision of poor dead Kiwi!

  34. 38

    It was on this blog several years ago that I first found out about Williams -Sonoma peppermint bark at 50% off after Christmas. Last year I fooled around and waited too long and it was sold out. This year I made it a priority, and I am grateful to announce that my two tins arrived yesterday. Let the husband know he is changing lives for the better.

  35. 39
    Melissa H says:

    I just watched Downton Abbey for the first time today on Netflix.

    And I hate to admit it after the previous comments, but I watched the Bachelor and enjoyed it. If anyone can do it right it is Sean…hope springs eternal.

  36. 40

    THAT WAS MY FAVORITE LINE OF THE NIGHT! I know I’m supposed to be partial to the Dowager’s wit, but good gracious. I want to do something jolly with my hair. My husband was working on his laptop while I watched, and I paused the tv immediately and said, “Will you PLEASE start asking me if I’ve done something jolly with my hair???” He looked at me like I was crazy. And that was BEFORE he noticed I was watching the show live AND recording it on the DVR. Which prompted him to ask why on earth I needed to do that. Because sometimes Downton needs to be watched twice. “You’re sick.” Maybe. So what.

  37. 41

    I’m rooting for Edith and her jolly hair!

  38. 42

    My favourite comment of the show this week was definitely Maggie Smith “oh I’m sorry, I thought you were a waiter!” So glad to have Downton Abbey back!

    Your posts are absolutely hilarious! I’ve been reading for quite a long time, but haven’t commented before. Thank you for making me laugh every day…..

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