Well, since it’s Valentine’s Day which is King of All Made Up holidays, I might as well start by sharing my tale of lost love.
Especially since it just happened five minutes ago.
No, P didn’t pack up and move to the ranch forever. He’d miss me and the way I can heat up a frozen pizza like no one else.
It’s almost as tragic though.
I just realized I dried one of my oldest and most favorite pair of jeans in the dryer. I’m going to be honest, it doesn’t look good for them. Mainly because they now appear at first sight to not be a whole lot bigger than a pair of Caroline’s jeans.
At some point I guess I’ll have to try them on and assess the damage and the muffin top ratio, but my self-esteem can’t take the hit right now.
I know it’s just a pair of jeans but they were my very first pair of 7s. It was the first time that I decided to give in to the madness of paying too much money for a pair of jeans and they have served me well. I’ve worn them at least once a week for the last FIVE years. Which means they basically ended up costing me less than a penny per wearing.
(Disclosure: I have no idea if that’s real math or if it adds up. Just go with it. I’m trying to prove a point.)
(I have no idea what that point is, but I think it has something to do with paying a little more for quality.)
In other stories of true love, I need to share that Gulley finally bought Will a bearded dragon for his birthday yesterday. His name is Hank.
She texted me that picture earlier and asked, “Is it just me or do you think he’s smiling at me?” I think she’s smitten. Which is remarkable since I’ve never known Gulley to really care about a pet that much.
However, she has let me know that I’m basically the one responsible for the bearded dragon since I told Will about them in the first place. And I didn’t ever feel bad about that until I went over there yesterday with Caroline to meet Hank and realized having a bearded dragon as a pet also requires maintaining a cricket habitat because you have to feed Hank live crickets twice a day.
Which means you have to feed the crickets. And apparently you also have to sprinkle them with vitamin powder to keep Hank healthy.
Honestly, it might have been easier if she’d just decided to have a third baby. At least that doesn’t require insects living in your home. But I’ve assured her it will all be worth it once Hank sits on her shoulder every night while she watches T.V.
I also need to mention that the expected lifespan of a bearded dragon is ten years. Gulley said, “That means I’m going to have this situation until I’m fifty years old.” She and Hank are going to grow old together.
(Not that fifty is old. I didn’t mean to imply that. Especially since I’ll be there in nine years.)
(Now I feel kind of depressed.)
Anyway, I had big plans to write a post and make a list of the worst love songs ever in my opinion, but now it’s late and the only song I can think about that really gets on my nerves is Sergio Mendes “Never Gonna Let You Go”.
I can’t explain why. I just know I’ve never liked it.
And, while we’re discussing love songs, I was looking at various lyrics on the internet and did you know that REO Speedwagon’s song “Keep On Lovin’ You” says “You played dead, but you never bled. Instead you lay still in the grass, all coiled up and hissin'”?
How have I never known that’s what it said? I mean, dude, he calls her a snake. That is rough. REO Speedwagon isn’t messing around. And I have no idea why I just called you dude.
Anyway, I think the problem is that I’ve always been a sucker for a good love song, especially a power ballad. I’m looking at you, “Forever” by Kenny Loggins.
But I know there are some bad ones out there. However, all I can think of at the moment is “Shake Your Love” by Debbie Gibson. Which you have to admit is a terrible song and I’m not just saying that because I did a pom-pom dance to it in high school.
So you tell me. What are the love songs you don’t care for? Which ones really get on your nerves?
And, most importantly, will you be singing “Shake Your Love” in spite of yourself all day?