I just want you to know that I’m pretty sure the oak pollen is trying to kill me dead. I know this because I sneezed approximately 5,432 times yesterday. And you know that I never exaggerate.
And if the oak pollen doesn’t kill me then I’m pretty sure the huge packets of math homework that Caroline has brought home every day this week will. Especially yesterday’s packet that consisted of one whole page of problems dedicated to figuring out various costs and mileage of some family’s vacation that I neither know nor care about.
But maybe I’m just a little edgy right now. You want to know why?
My abs have been sore for three weeks straight now. And some days I’m not sure that my triceps aren’t going to just fall off.
As I drove to my 9:45 class Tuesday morning, I finally pinpointed my real issue with working out. You have to keep doing it to get and maintain results. You know who I blame for this?
(Side note: Look at the music on that workout video. Boz Skaggs? Sign me up.)
Until she donned those jaunty legwarmers and filmed On Golden Pond looking all tanned and toned, exercise wasn’t necessarily a thing. I mean, sure, some people did it but it wasn’t so much an aerobic workout as it was standing on one of those machine things with a large band around you that was supposed to shake off your extra fat.
And so maybe those didn’t work out so well, but they did allow you the luxury of wearing fancy red flats with a nice pleated skirt. So there’s that.
But now there’s pressure to be “in shape” and “work on your cardio” and “quit eating ice cream for dinner”. Which is why over the last several years I’ve done Couch to Almost 5K (That’s my own personal version), the 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels, and Body by Bethenny. There may have even been a few days I pulled out my Elle MacPherson workout video from college.
Then I went through a spell where I thought I could just workout at home and follow all the different workouts that I pin on Pinterest. But the problem is that pinning them doesn’t actually do anything. You have to actually do them. And it’s hard for me to get motivated because the following is how I feel a lot of the time.
Anyway, enough of my exercise issues, the truth is that I actually don’t mind Smart Barre all that much. Except for when we’re doing the glutes portion of the workout and I’m pretty sure my whole backside is about to cramp up and I’m going to start screaming about Shetland ponies.
All this to say that I’m really not sure why it just dawned on me, at forty-one years old, that exercise is a lifestyle change and, sadly, not like doing your income taxes. Just a few painful days and then it’s all over for another year.
But I am pretty sure this illustration sums up my Smart Barre experience.