Well. It happened tonight.
The moment I knew would happen from the moment the doctor told me I was having a girl. Honestly, a moment that I’ve dreaded because how do you discuss such a delicate topic? How will I know that I’ve given her the right mix of advice, wisdom and counseling to know what’s right? How do I keep her from having some of the regrets I’ve experienced?
Now you’re wondering what happened. I’ll tell you.
Caroline looked at me after dinner and said, “I’ve really been thinking about it and I might want bangs.”
And then I got up and poured myself a glass of wine.
Actually, that’s not true. I topped off the glass of wine I was already drinking.
While my heart raced on the inside, I calmly asked, “Why do you think you might want bangs?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Some girls in my class have them and they look adorable.”
Yes. So do Reese Witherspoon and Taylor Swift. How many times have I fallen into that trap? Certainly if Reese Witherspoon’s professional hair stylist can make her bangs look perfect, then I should be able to create those same results with a $3.99 bottle of Tresemme’ mousse, a cheap round brush, and the coordination of a monkey after a bottle of tequila.
But instead of freaking out and going on and on about how a person who thinks that a legitimate hair-styling technique is to go to sleep wearing a Santa hat while her hair is still wet probably isn’t ready for the maintenance that bangs require, I just said, “You know? Summer might be a bad time to try bangs since we’re at the pool almost every day.”
C cocked her head and looked at me like she does when she’s deep in thought and said, “Well, I think maybe I’m ready. And I can always grow them back out if I don’t like them.”
Sure. Let’s go back to those days because it was so much fun to grow them out when you were five. I’m sure it will be even better now that you’re older and a little more emotional.
Anyway, we’ll see what happens.
And, honestly, it’s not Caroline’s fault. The continual internal debate over bangs versus no bangs is part of her genetic makeup. I have cut bangs and loved them for two weeks and I have cut bangs and regretted it immediately. I have spent months of my life attempting to blow dry my bangs into submission and years clipping them back with bobby pins as they grew out. Yet I continue to pin pictures of hairstyles on Pinterest that involve bangs and never fail to ask my hairdresser if I should do it all over again.
(I’m including this picture as a visual aid. I cannot look at it without thinking maybe this time will be the time that it will all come together for me. Dang, Reese, you do me so wrong.)
To my hairdresser’s credit she doesn’t roll her eyes and throw me out of her chair when I show her the above picture for the 164th time. She just quietly discourages me as she reminds me that I have an unfortunate cowlick that keeps my bangs from lying flat the way good bangs should and that it never ends well.
Which I guess means my bangs have a lot in common with this post.