Is it just me or did everyone else find themselves singing “Every Which Way But Loose” most of the day yesterday? I would apologize, but I suffered right along with the rest of you.
You’ll be relieved to know that tonight we aren’t watching any vintage movies from the 1970′s. However, P did inform me moments ago that he just bought five pairs of pants off the internet for $95. Do you see now why I tell him everything costs $15? He lives in a world where that’s an actual reality. Apparently a good pair of tactical pants are impervious to rips, holes and inflation.
Speaking of clothing, a blog reader named Sloan sent me a link on Twitter yesterday to an article about a zoo in the UK that has banned visitors from wearing animal-print clothing because it confuses the animals. So of course I feel even worse about the time back in 1991 when I wore a leopard print top to the Omaha Zoo. I had no idea I was confusing the animals. But between the top and the perm that made my hair enormous, I’m sure I caused both the lions and the leopards a bit of distress.
In all fairness though, someone told me a while back that you can always tell that animals in the zoo are crazy because they pace back and forth. They don’t do it out of boredom, they do it out of insanity. I have no idea if this is really true, but I’ve repeated it dozens of times since then as absolute fact. You have to admit it makes sense.
And I really have no idea how we ended up discussing orangutans yesterday and lions today. It’s like I’m Marlon Perkins all of a sudden. Stay tuned for tomorrow when we discuss the migratory patterns of the wildebeest. Which makes me think of that episode of The Cosby Show when Theo wanted to go see the wildebeest migrate. Back then I didn’t even think wildebeest were a real thing, but then I saw The Lion King and realized I was wrong.
I think it’s clear this entire post derailed somewhere around the first paragraph.
I can offer no real explanation other than it’s been a long day that involved both science and math homework for Caroline. My brain hit full capacity somewhere around how many more apples Jane has compared to Ryan. You know how many? I DON’T CARE. And, frankly, Jane shouldn’t make Ryan feel bad about his apple deficit.
And now I think I’m going to watch the season premiere of Nashville. I’ve been worried about Rayna and Deacon ever since that car flipped at the end of last season and I’m just hoping they aren’t going to make her have amnesia or I will have to quit watching for good.
That’s a lie. I won’t quit watching. Just like I probably won’t quit wearing animal prints to the zoo.
Of course I never go to the zoo anymore so I guess that works out.