Because I know you’re dying to know, here’s the current status of my Christmas decorating. I have unpacked three Rubbermaid totes. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care and there are various nativity sets scattered around the house. I’ve also filled the large dough bowl I keep on the dining room table with a multitude of ornaments.
And Caroline helped herself to a few items in an attempt to create some festive holiday accessories.
She always goes for a subtle, understated look.
The original plan was to go pick out a tree on Monday afternoon. But it was 85 degrees here and I was wearing flip-flops and the thought of having to worry about mosquitoes while picking out a Christmas tree just seems wrong. So we made the executive decision to postpone the tree shopping process until Thursday afternoon after a cold front is scheduled to arrive. It just feels like that’s how Jesus would want it. Why else was he born in December?
So since we have no tree at this point, I’ve had some time to re-evaluate some of my Christmas decorations. Last year we were in the middle of having built-ins installed in our living room and painters painting walls and then Caroline and I went to New York with Mimi and Bops and we didn’t end up putting up a tree or any decorations until the week before Christmas. I didn’t have time to really think about all my decorations other than to make the decision to not put most of them out since I’d have to take them down a week later.
But this year I’ve had time to examine them and arrived at the decision that I needed some new stocking hangers along with something else to put on my mantle besides the tired fake green garland I’ve had for one hundred years.
(I haven’t really had it for one hundred years. Just since P and I got married. Which sometimes feels like one hundred years.)
(Oh I kid. It only feels like forty-two years.)
On Monday afternoon I casually mentioned to Gulley that I was contemplating a trip out to Hobby Lobby (Hob Lob) to peruse their Christmas decoration inventory and she said she needed to go too because her preschool class needed some craft supplies to make flowerpot nativities.
And so that’s how we ended up skipping our normal Tuesday lunch in favor of walking the aisles at Hob Lob. It’s like we didn’t even know ourselves.
I sensed we were in over our heads when we pulled into the parking lot and discovered it was packed. Who are all these people and what are they making? But it made sense once we walked through the doors and saw signs everywhere declaring 50% off all Christmas merchandise. I get excited when things are 25% off so the thought of 50% off made me almost delirious.
We grabbed a cart and began to look around. And it was at that point that I had to have an honest, internal talk with myself, reminding my inner optimist that I am not a person prone to make a craft. I want to. I want to look at all those glittery, sparkly things in the fake floral section and immediately think of all manner of arrangements I could make. I stared at the burlap ribbon for a good ten minutes just willing my brain to figure out what it should do with all that burlap because, according to people on Pinterest, burlap is the IT fabric of the 2013’s.
Of course it was also the IT fabric of the 1813’s. So maybe I’ll be ready the next time it comes around.
I looked at all the discounted wrapping paper and ribbon and knew that I should probably buy some, but it all short-circuited something because do I want chevron ribbon or chevron wrapping paper? Do I want to tie up brown paper packages with string like Maria’s favorite things?
I DON’T KNOW.
This is why I buy my wrapping paper at The Container Store. I can look at all their sample packages and the guess work is done for me. Nothing there makes me feel the pressure to hand stamp some gift cards and fill them out in calligraphy letters.
I finally made my way to the checkout line with merely a few tubes of paint in my cart for a project Caroline is working on and some red chevron ribbon that I’ll likely regret. I’ve never felt more like a failure.
Because here’s the honest truth. I wish I could look at a grapevine wreath and imagine the possibilities. I want to pick out that mesh-y glittery stuff that everyone is using to make wreaths and garland and turn it into something fabulous.
In fact, I was on Etsy the other day because I decided I wanted a garland made out of felt balls. I looked at a couple and thought to myself that I could just make one. It’s just some string and some felt balls and how hard could that be? But then I looked at the price on Etsy to have one shipped ready-made to my door by someone who knows what they’re doing and probably didn’t end up curled in the fetal position in the process, and hit PURCHASE so fast it would make your head spin.
It’s one of life’s bitter facts. There are those who craft and there are those who buy those crafts. There are folks who go to Hob Lob and are filled with all kinds of fabulous, creative inspiration and those who immediately feel themselves in the beginning stages of a panic attack.
And I think I’ve finally accepted that in my heart of hearts I fall into the latter of those categories.