Okay, can we discuss a few things before I get to whatever point I’m going to make or not make in this post?
First, do not be afraid of the Fashion Fiesta. It’s supposed to be fun and comical. A light-hearted look at how mamas really dress when they aren’t being featured on Oprah’s makeover shows.
So, show us your yoga pants and t-shirts and we’ll all be united in peace and yoga-pant loving harmony.
And if you think your closet it too boring to share? Here’s a secret.
Me too.
I just don’t let that stop me.
True confession. At this very moment I am wearing some cutoff olive green cargo shorts from Old Navy circa 2002 and a UCLA baseball t-shirt that says PAC-6, when clearly the PAC-6 has been the PAC-10 for many, many years now.
Needless to say it’s a hot look pulled right from the pages of “Hobo Weekly”.
So, no stress on showing us some incredible closet full of coordinated, up-to-the-minute ensembles with perfect accessories. Mine will be more along the lines of a hall of shame.
Secondly, I saw Lara Flynn Boyle in the HEB on Monday.
I wish there were more to the story, like that we talked all about what it was like to date Jack Nicholson and if he ever takes off his sunglasses, but there’s not.
She was headed to the produce department. I was headed to the cereal aisle. I thought she looked familiar and couldn’t place where I knew someone who was 4′11′ and weighed 76 pounds, unless it was someone from Caroline’s Pre-K class.
Then I realized it was Lara Flynn Boyle.
And she had on some cool red shoes and a Mexican-style embroidered top.
It kills me that there isn’t more to the story.
I even had my camera with me. But what was I going to do? Take a picture of her picking out a bunch of grapes?
I totally should have taken a picture of her picking out a bunch of grapes.
Dang.
Okay, so yesterday I drove to the Outlet Mall in San Marcos to meet my friend Vicki. Because although we have talked numerous times on the phone and through email, we’ve never met in person. And since she’s in Austin and I’m in San Antonio, it was a natural choice to meet at the little slice of heaven known as the Outlet Mall.
We met at Johnny Rockets for lunch because there is no firmer foundation for a friendship than cheese fries. Or really any type of cheese product.
We had just ordered our Diet Cokes when her cell phone rang and she excused herself to answer it. She came back to the table, apologized profusely, and explained that she needed to head back to Austin because she had been asked to be on CNN for a segment on The Glenn Beck Show.
Well, sure.
If I had a dime for every time one of my friends has had to leave a lunch date to go be on CNN, then I guess I would now have one dime.
So, I told Vicki to run, run like the wind, and get to Austin because if there is anything more important than cheese fries and shopping, then it’s being on national television.
Oh I kid.
Nothing is more important than shopping.
However, national television appearances are a very close second.
Anyway, she left and I found myself all alone at Johnny Rocket’s staring out the window at a J.Crew outlet store. And since I would have hated to make the drive for no reason, especially with gas prices being what they are, I decided to stay and shop.
Gulley was watching Caroline for me and I had to be back by 2:30, so there was a critical time factor. However, I have been blessed with the gift of fashion discernment. I can scan the interior of a store for 2.7 seconds and intuitively know if there is anything in there worth trying on.
My gift served me well yesterday because I was able to hit about twenty-eight different stores, while wearing wedge heel shoes no less, in about an hour and a half.
And you know what I bought?
A pair of green flip-flops for Gulley.
And while I am so happy that I found some flip-flops for my friend who has been in need of bargain-priced green shoes, I cannot express my disappointment in the overall fashion selection.
I’d like the opportunity to go on CNN and discuss it.
I wonder if Vicki can hook me up?
Or maybe I could ask Lara Flynn Boyle next time I see her at HEB.
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Hey, you should have called me.
I was driving around south Austin with a need to shop and nowhere to go. It’s a sad day when I can’t even find a Starbucks to take my money.
Though now that I think about it, getting a call from Big Mama would have been akin to seeing Lara Flynn Boyle at HEB. I might not have known what to do with myself.
Have a great day!
I took Monday off from work to go shopping for some new spring clothes and I felt the same way that you did totally disappointed with the selection! Where does a gal go to shop for reasonably priced clothes to wear at the office, I cannot afford $128 for a pair of pants at Ann Taylor
Fashion discernment…that will sound so nice in ladies Bible study when we are studying our “gifts.” Love it!
I’ve heard the new outlet mall outside of Georgetown is really nice.
Oh the outlet mall.
I will never forget the day that we learned we were getting not one outlet mall, but 3 LARGE ones.
Did I mention our population was under 4000 at the time?
I’m 4′11″, but I haven’t seen 76 pounds since, oh, 6th grade, I guess.
And you have one more dime than me…
don’t worry, I have the perfect thing for the fashion fiesta, but things have been crazy, and today is my day to pretend to be in a coma, so tomorrow, TOMORROW I will post on it. And need much help, since it’s only my second time doing the linky thingy.
two words: denim capris
it was gonna be one word but really, these are cute!
What a nice Thank You gift to Gulley for watching Caroline! Bummer of a shopping day for you though.
Sadly, the only thing I really took away from this great post was the fact that you can still fit into shorts from 2002. I’m just workin’ on fitting into shorts from last summer… too many Chick Fil A milkshakes, I suppose.
That’s why HEBs slogan is “here everything’s better” shoot, now they are featuring movie stars. Did you see the Ann Taylor fabulous t-shirts?
Lunch with Vicki? How cool!
I can also scan a store in seconds and make a decision whether I should be there or not. I haven’t had any luck lately. But, I’m willing to persevere!
Oh Melanie- Lara Lynn’s got NOTHING on you…
I’m with Ruth (the first comment) on this one… You are my Lara Lynn!! (Who’da thought that to ever be a way of esteeming someone great?) :0)
I could use some cute green flip flops. And actually an interview suit for Friday. Any suggestions?
BM,
I’m so deeply deeply hurt because
YES…..WE TOTALLY EXPECTED YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE OF LARA FLYNN BOYLE PICKING GREEN GRAPES…
What were you thinking?
You could have had your moment of acting like paparazzi…(how do you spell that word?)
I’m deeply depressed over this.
That would have rocked the blog world.
Kelly S.
It is good to find a fellow Aggie (and Texan)in the blogosphere! I live near Hosuton, and found your blog through Boomama….
I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to coming back!
Xandra
You make me laugh every day..thanks!
I love Glenn Beck! Say it with me in Napoleon Dynamite style, “Lucky!” The only time I’ll have to excuse myself from a shopping date will be because someone will call to tell me my kid is throwing up or something.
Wow. I’m glad you weren’t wearing the PAC-6.
I read Vicki’s post yesterday and she said YOU had on some REALLY cute shoes .. so .. ah .. got a picture?
And yes, next time take a picture, but keep your distance .. I’m just saying.
Gee.
The only time my phone rings is when thechildwhoshallremainnameless calls to ask “Where are you? When will you be home? What are you doing?”, like, 10 times while I’m out.
Every. time. I. go. out.
Can’t wait til thechildwhoshallremainnameless gets a license and starts dating.
Did I mention that payback is, well, you know…
My first gift to them to celebrate? A cell phone. of course.
The thing with Lara Flynn Boyle is so funny. When we were in Las Vegas a few months ago we saw a few stars, and we didn’t want to be “those people” so we didn’t take any pictures. But, now, we totally wish we would have no matter how ridiculous it would have made us look at the time. Talk about bad, life-changing decisions……
Is LFB’s lip still ginormous from the bad botox incident?
And…shopping discernment is a true gift. Don’t take it lightly.
I hate it when I go shopping (when I actually have money to spend) and I can’t find anything. However, when I have NO money to spend, I find tons of stuff. Blech…
Emily
http://www.twodogsrunningsouth.blogspot.com/
Okay you totally made me laugh. I mean you usually make me laugh. but today I needed a laugh. I didn’t sleep a wink with the storms and my 3 kids and cat crawling over me during the storms, finally sending them back to THEIR beds, and then deciding to surf blogs. I digress,,, I needed a laugh because I have many hard, sad things on my mind and at 4:00 AM I finally asked God to remind me they aren’t for me to fix! So I needed a laugh to take my mind off these things.
Hey, I was actually talking to some friends just the other day about how we need to make a roadtrip to my favorite outlet mall….whoo hoo, I guess when I head out I will need to give ya a call!
I wondered if it was just me.
I mean, I didn’t hit 28 stores. But during recent, frantic shopping expeditions (baby and four-year-old in tow), I found nothing. No. Thing.
What is up with the lack of cute clothes right now? Even Ann Taylor failed me.
Did you take photos for Friday at the outlet? Because seriously, I have not been shopping for myself in a store (or anywhere really) for nearly a year. I wonder what the inside of J Crew looks like! So far, I have found a few online things I’d like for myself to share on Friday, though. But I am having withdrawal from something called shopping
I bet Vicki was sorely disaapointed to not get to stay! I would have been.
Have a blessed Wednesday!!
I’d be curious how long it takes you to compose your posts, or if the hilarity just rolls off your tongue..or rather fingertips. You crack me up, daily!
R.O.L.L.I.N.G. Now that? That was hilarious! You may not have the gift of shopping success right now, but, oh, how the gift of humor is all over you! And then I read Chelle’s comment and she called Lara Flynn ‘Lara Lynn’ and that just sent me over the top! Good times, Big Mama, good times!!
The only good outlet mall that I have found in the western part of the U.S ( I shop therefore I know) is in Park City, UT. I have been back 3 or 4 times. Consistently good stuff and real deals.
Hey, we should chat about everyone’s famous people encounters…
So, are you saying its WRONG to wear yoga pants every day of the year? I just can’t accept that. I will hold firm to my pants…. and not let go… or let them fall when I run… but that is another story.
First off, great blog. I’ve been enjoying it for a couple of weeks now. Second, I’m so right there with you on the lousy fashion selection available right now. Is it just me or do many of the current trends look like they were pulled straight from an 80’s aerobics class? Yikes. No thanks.
I am totally bummed about the fashion fiesta. My hubby has insisted that my blog be invite only, so, alas, I can’t participate. I will be eagarly waiting to see everyone else’s dayware. I’m clearing Friday’s schedule for just this occassion. Haha, well sort of.
I don’t even know who Lara Lynn Boyle is.
Sad.
CNN friends. Yeah, a dime a dozen!
I would have whipped out my camera and snapped a shot of Lara. I would have been mortified at myself, but I totally would have done it.
I too am 4′11″ but NOT 76 lbs!! I do have a fashion problem though….I wear a size 4 shoe…and it is soooo hard to find grown up shoes. Sometimes I have success at the GapKids….or Payless…but unless you are willing to wear shoes with cartoons on them or velcro…it can be tough….Oh well summer will come to northern Indiana soon and I’ll be back to my Crocs!!! Just thankful to have two feel and the ability to walk….God Bless, Pam, South Bend
Congrats on seeing a famous person. I wouldn’t have known her if she’d walked up and said,”hi, I’m Laura Flynn Boyle.”
I may have to participate in your spring fashion fling thing.
I love putting together crazy things to wear.
You can get away with a lot when you call yourself an artist.
Big Mama – Has anyone told you that you are hilarious? I love your way with words. You are my #1 blogger.
Hi Big Mama,
I am from Memphis (GO TIGERS!) and was in San Antonio for the first time this past weekend for the tournament. As luck would have it, we stopped at this very outlet and shopped for a few hours before heading to the most fun ever, downtown San Antonio, for the game. I have to say, even though the end result was sad for our Tigers, we loved your hometown. Just think, I was only 2 days away from potentially bumping into you at the shopping mecca. Then I would have been as “giddy” about spotting you as you were about spotting Laura Flynn Boyle. Love your blog…you are so real and fun! Thanks!
Love Glenn Beck! Loved the “now have one dime” bit!
“I thought she looked familiar and couldn’t place where I knew someone who was 4?11? and weighed 76 pounds, unless it was someone from Caroline’s Pre-K class.
Then I realized it was Lara Flynn Boyle.”
PURE HILARITY! If I am indeed fired for inappropriate laughter emanating from my cubicle, can I come for a visit? Albeit, a very long visit
Hilarious story.
Surrounded by stars, you are!
Of course…..You are a Star yourself!
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