On Sunday, we celebrated Caroline’s birthday by going out to breakfast and letting her order Happy Face Pancakes because everyone knows that what pancakes covered in syrup really need are about eight dollops of whipped cream. You can’t neglect the dairy portion of the food pyramid.
The rest of the day was spent dressing and undressing various Barbie dolls in a vast array of wardrobe selections. Caroline would struggle to get a pair of tight pants on Bikini Beach Barbie (heaven knows she hasn’t worn pants in years) as I sat on the couch and did my best Tim Gunn impression calling out “Make it work”.
That evening we had Mimi and Bops over for dinner and I baked a lemon cake so that Caroline would be able to blow out some candles on her actual birthday. As she ate the cake she kept saying, “Oh, this is really a delicious recipe.”
So, I’m not sure if she turned five or eighty-five.
(By the way, that’s not a beer in the koozie. It’s Minute Maid Pink Lemonade. No beer drinking until she’s six.)
Then, yesterday, we had a pool party. Bless her heart, she’s like her mama and has an August birthday. When you live in Texas that means you are required by law to have a pool party. It’s either that or invite guests over to sit on blocks of ice.
Anything else is inhumane.
I knew we had to make a decision regarding Gigante, the loveable unicorn pinata. Was he going to get a stay of execution or was he headed to the recycling bin on Wednesday?
I called Caroline into the kitchen and asked what she wanted to do. She showed no mercy. Gigante was going down.
So she stood there as I dissected him from the top to fill him with assorted candy. We stuffed his belly full of Nerds and Dum-Dum suckers and taped him back up.
When I tried to move him closer to the back door, I realized he now weighed approximately seventy-eight pounds. I lifted a silent prayer to heaven that the rope would hold him because nothing ruins a party mood faster than a gigantic unicorn hurtling to the earth and frightening small children.
P came home to help me get everything ready for the party and I told him that Gigante was pretty solid. In fact, I was worried that the kids might not be able to break him open despite repeated beatings. So P took a butcher knife and stabbed Gigante a few times in the chest just to weaken him a little bit.
It was just like that scene in “Gladiator” when Joaquin Phoenix stabs Russell Crowe with that knife before they go out into the Colosseum to ensure that he wins the fight.
Except we were going to the pool.
And it wasn’t really that dramatic.
The party started, the kids swam and then it was time for birthday cake.
After everyone was all hyped up on sugar and food coloring, it was time to let them unleash some energy on the pinata.
Despite P helping our odds for a quick demise, Gigante hung in there.
Literally.
In fact, my twelve-year-old nephew finally had to step in and finish the job.
And even then, this is what he looked like.
All he lost was an appendage. Fortunately, the candy came falling out anyway.
But once P lowered him to the ground, the birthday girl got a hold of him.
We’re thinking about hanging him on the wall next to P’s ten-point buck.
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What a fun party!!! If Gigante was a horse you all would have had to take him out and shoot him! I know the pinata was glad it was a unicorn….
Oh yes, do it, hang him on the wall….it would be soooo funny.
Looks like a fun day was had by all.
Isn’t it crazy here in Texas where when you get in that swimming pool it’s still so hot outside that your really almost don’t cool off in that pool! I love her new head arrangement!!
I am laughing at the picture of the Gigante hanging in the tree because it makes the tree look so little! It looks like there was a great celebration of 5!
Looks like a good time was had by all — except Gigante, that is!
Looks like she had an awesome birthday! On another note, when I turned on the news this morning there was a commercial for Cheaper Than Dirt! hehehe…
Looks like an awesome B-day for Caroline. Sure looked like a lot of fun!!
Glad to know that Gigante held up to the “raging mob” – it WOULD be fun to have him mounted on a pink plaque and put up in her room. Barbie would be so proud.
Good thing the party was Sunday or Edouard might have been an unwanted guest. I’m wondering if my Katy home is under threat (I’m in the DFW area now). Hope ya’ll don’t get too much rain in SA….
Hilarious! Gigante wasn’t going to go down easily.
Wow, both cakes look fabulous. I’m a sucker for lemon desserts.
Yes, isn’t it fun having a child in the summer. I’m sure in future years we are going to have to consider the whole pool party issue. This year we got by with putting the baby pool out back.
The mighty huntress looks cute with her pinata.
p.s. I’m glad to hear Caroline is waiting to hit the hard sauce until she is 6. LOL
I hear ya about those August birthday parties. I live in the deep south (Dixie) and my daughter was born on July 6th. Not only did we deal with heat, but also that big HOLIDAY that is celebrated on the 4th. We have many videos of children splashing and playing in the pool and then a sudden violent thunderstorm would come out of nowhere, complete with thunder and lightening that would send all of us running for cover! Good times.
p.s. The birthday girl celebrated her 22nd this year.
Nothing says happy birthday like watching small children beat up a fake animal. I’ve never gotten over watching some kids beat Winnie-the-Pooh senseless.
We’re thinking about hanging him on the wall next to P’s ten-point buck.
LOL… I sprayed my monitor on that one!
LOL…
Her cake looks like a classic. My boy’s birthday is Sept. 14th (all pools are closed as of Labor Day) and last year we had his party two weeks early so we could do the pool thing. It really is the way to go in Texas. It’s that or Sea World but I’m guessing the entrance fee is about 45 dollars less per child.
You’ve got to be one of the funniest people on earth. Can I just come hang out with you for a day? What fun that would be!!! (I’m not a stalker, I promise.
God Bless your 5-year-old….mine is 6 today, and no, she’s still not drinking hard stuff. ha!
I love pictures of little one’s b-day parties. All the kids look as though they’re interested–but really, they just want the cake and to play with the new toys! : )
Man, that brings back a LOT of memories of Texas birthdays in August! I even got to relive the memory of my husband beating a rainbow pinata with a baseball bat at my then 3-year-old’s “Wizard of Oz” party.
What are they making these things out of now – concrete?
Oh, I want a party like that!
Shame my birthday’s in the winter 
The Broken Man
http://theblogofabrokenman.blogspot.com/
Caroline hasn’t seen “The Godfather,” has she?
No. Probably not.
Good thing.
What a great party! It looks like they had a ton of fun. Put your seat belt on it will go fast. My daughter was turning 5 one day and is now going on 37. Thanks for sharing such wonderful memories. Caroline is such a cutie!
I love the thought of “mounting” Gigante.
I also think it is very telling that you have camoflauged Koozies at your dinner table!
Looks like a fun party! I’m glad the horse was able to be hung…I was a bit concerned when I saw the size of it at first!
That was hilarious! You should SO hang Gigante on a plaque.
I always wanted a pool party for my August birthday, but the rules aren’t as strict in Illinois. Somehow my mom avoided prosecution for never letting me have one.
The picture of Caroline holding Gigante the Unicorn on her head like a trophy made me actually snort, I was laughing so hard. It should totally go on the wall, in her room. What a fun birthday!!
That was so funny. Thanks for making me laugh. I needed that today.
My two favorite parts:
The picture of Caroline holding Gigante the Unicorn on her head
and
We’re thinking about hanging him on the wall next to P’s ten-point buck
This was hilarious!!!!!!!!!
That line about Gladiator had me rollin’!! We just watched an old video of my now 10 yr. old’s 4th b-day party in which a pinata was involved. When her 6 yr. old cousin finally busted it by knocking of the pony’s head, she began wailing. She explains through her tears, “I didn’t know Max was going to chop her head off!”
I guess you can never prepare them for the trauma of a pinata!!!
Happy Birthday, Caroline! Have a great year!
Want a quick tip on the Barbie pants? Sprinkle a little baby powder or cornstarch on her legs. The pants will slip right on. I remember that tip from my own barbie playing days!
Lol about hanging Gigante next to P’s buck. Nothing like living in Texas, we have a 10 pt. too and a big bass. I inherited them after the honeymoon.
Next time you have a baby shoot for the winter.
You certainly have the gift of written communication……you paint beautiful words pictures….bringing a smile to my face and a tear to my eye….May God continue to bless you and you wonderful family. Pam, South Bend
It looks like Caroline enjoyed her 5th birthday weekend. What a good and fun Mama you are!
So that’s how you do it in Texas…
In Georgia, folks bring their shotguns to birthday parties and use the pinata for target practice.
(Pride will not be conquered by paper mache in the Southeast.)
I love the thought of Gigante hanging next to P’s buck…I mean, none of his other hunting buddies have a trophy like that displayed. You’d be the talk of the hunting lodge.
And, yes, I know I used that term “hunting lodge” loosly…or is it loosely? Where is the spell check on this thing???
Oh my! Gigante is one tough unicorn! Looks like fun was had by all!
http://www.radicoollife.blogspot.com
A few years back when my daughter still wanted pinata’s my hubster had to kill it in order to get out the candy. It was rock hard.
I totally love the idea of mounting Gigante next to P’s 10 point buck! You crack me up!
I thank God for humor …. and I love to read your blog to see how you use it!
Too Funny! My oldest has a July birthday and we also live in Texas. We had a beach party and a pinata as well. The best picture from the party was when my son climbed into the pinata after all was said and done. Sounds like Caroline had great birthday. Take care, Julie
Oh my goodness! Our family is in a bit of a crisis right now, but we are keeping our spirits high. This story was *just* what the doctor ordered. Thank you for your humor today! (And other days, as well!)
That’s awesome! Looks like she had a fabulous August birthday party! I say definitely mount Gigante! Let the memories live on!Don’t little kids crack yo up when you hear them mimic the things we say to each other! My 4 yo tells me I look “so lovely today mommy”…where did the “lovely” come from? Must be the Disney princesses, because lovely isn’t a mama word!
Summer birthday=pool party, it’s a must! And in this August heat, I’m sure the kidos appreciated your thoughtfulness! Looks like little miss had a great birthday. Thank goodness for the nephew that finally blew out the leg!
Her swim goggles just crack me up, Mel. She’s such a character!
That’s the biggest pinata I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m amazed she let everyone hit it. I suspect you’re going to be living with a giant equine amputee for a long, long time.
I have to say, based on memories of my own living room when I was growing up with a dad and four brothers, I’d rather see the unicorn hanging on the wall. I’d definitely take my dad’s red squirrel and his bobcat off the wall to make room for the unicorn.
Now that’s classy! Unicorn head next to the deer. I’m sure that will be the in thing in Better Homes and Hunting Lodges come fall.
I’d love to see a picture of the unicorn and deer side by side–better yet a picture of P’s face, when he sees it.
Caroline is the prettiest birthday girl!! I love her happy smile. It makes me happy, too. A good thing to catch for sure!
Do the eyes on the unicorn head follow you around the room like the mounted deer heads?
Cracked up at the line about “inviting guests to come over and sit on iceblocks”… no, a pool party definitely sounds like more fun.
And are you going to share your lemon cake recipe??? Because that looked really yummy.
lol about the delicious recipe…she is just wise beyond her years!
Also, the stabbing? You forgot there was no blood
Poor Gigante.
Delicious recipe, what a smart little lady. I was crackin’ up, kids are hilarious.
Looks like there was no shortage of fun or sugar overdose, so that means, great party.
You should definitely hang Gigante up, that would just be hilarious. Hang it in Caroline’s room as her first score! LOL
Looks like a fun party!
That reminds me of the scene in “Parenthood” (w/ Steve Martin) when they ended up having to use a hack saw to get the pinate open! Too funny!
p.s. My sweet Caroline made her debut today…8/5/08! We induced this morning and she arrived in 4 hours flat! She’s her momma’s girl for sure…very time-efficient and no-nonsense!
You must keep him. It looks like the perfect party for that darling girl.
Have fun this week!
Hugs,
Fran
Your girl party was way more fun than ours. Plus you had the sense to keep a camera around you. My poor girl… she’s going to think that we didn’t really exist since we have no photographic proof of the earlier years.
Don’t even tell The Boy that there’s such a thing as a camera. He won’t believe you at all.
OH my too funny. “P stabbed him in the chest a few times”
Being married to a hunter myself I know exactly how pleasant that was for him to do.
Sounds like she had a great party.
Have a wonderful and safe trip.
By all means, mount that sucker on her wall. At least the head.
I love everyone blowing out the candles with the swim goggles perched on their foreheads! I’m a June birthday myself, with quite a few pool parties under my belt, and there’s something about blowing out candles while wrapped in a beach towel and still wet hair that really brings it all back.
So glad that Caroline had a great time. And you HAVE to mount the head.
ummmmm… happy face pancakes… sorry, I got distracted there for a moment.
What a great party! Oh to be five again.
Is it too late to wish sweet Caroline a happy birthday?
I mean, I know it is, but I really do.
And do I absolutely adore this birthday recap, including the pictures of the much sought-after princess cake and, naturally, Gigante?
I do. I really, really do.
Happy fifth anniversary to the whole lot of you… and many, many more.
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