Like the Sopranos, but without the violence

One of my favorite things as a mama is sharing things that I remember from my childhood with Caroline. I love experiencing it all over again through her eyes, whether it’s reading We Help Mommy (which I knew word for word when I was little) or taking her to the zoo, it just makes me so happy to share these moments with her.

This past weekend, we loaded up for a road trip to Beaumont to see relatives that I haven’t seen in years. My dad was born and raised in Beaumont and since his mama was one of eight children, we have all kinds of family there. Some of my favorite memories are from the huge get togethers that we would attend. About once a year they’d get the whole family together for a big family gathering that was always held at either the local Knights of Columbus Hall, the fellowship hall at Assumption Catholic Church, or at my Mema’s house.

Just stop and think of any stereotype of a large Italian family gathering and y’all will pretty much have the right picture in your mind. Well, except that nobody was putting hits out on anyone (at least not that I know of) and there wasn’t necessarily a Godfather. At any given time the room was filled with enough polyester, Aquanet and faux leather from their SAS shoes, that if someone had lit a match the whole place would have gone up in flames.

There was always more food than anyone could possibly eat. Tables were heavy with trays of lasagna, spaghetti and always some fried chicken which I guess was the Southeast Texas influence. The music was loud and the family was louder. They’d all be telling jokes at the same time and telling old stories that would make better novels than anything on the market. There would be hugging, kissing and lots of face pinching.

I remember one family reunion that got so rowdy that two kegs were floated and my great Aunt Laura danced so much that they had to call an ambulance to come get her. Turns out that she was okay, just a little out of breath.

I have always loved that I come from this huge, crazy Italian family because it’s a unique experience. Not too many other people I know had turkey and spaghetti for Christmas dinner.

There aren’t too many of these relatives left anymore. I mean, yes, there are younger cousins, aunts, and uncles, but most of the original crew has gone on to the big Knights of Columbus Hall in the sky.

This weekend, everyone got together for a big reunion in Beaumont. It was smaller than the ones I remembered, but the food, the laughter, the loudness, and the kisses were the same and Caroline got to experience it for herself.

My Mema passed away 5 years ago and she has two siblings that are still living. The first is my great Aunt Fina (short for Josephine). Aunt Fina is one of the more unique people you will ever meet. She has always kept her hair dyed jet black and wears more makeup at one time than most people even own. She is a huge fan of anything polyester and she and my great Uncle Joe drive across the Louisiana border to gamble at the casinos about twice a week. She has never and I will repeat NEVER (because y’all aren’t going to believe this) been to any kind of doctor EVER in her whole life. Not a dentist, not a general practitioner, not a chiropractor. She is in her 80′s and has NEVER been to a doctor. But amazingly this fact isn’t what makes Aunt Fina so peculiar. The most amazing thing about Aunt Fina is that she ends EVERY word with a T. And, y’all are thinking what? Is that even possible?

Yes, yes it is.

When she saw me on Saturday, this is what she said, “Oht yourt sot prettyt, andt lookt at thet babyt, she’st sot beautifult”. And the best is if you can get her to say “shrimp” because she pronounces it “strimpt”. I don’t know why she does this or how one even begins to learn this sort of diction, but she has done it my entire life and it is truly amazing. Truly.

So, here is a picture of Aunt FinaT. And by the way, none of the following pictures have been doctored or photoshopped in any way. These are real relatives.

She has looked exactly like that for as long as I can remember. HonestlyT.

My Mema’s other surviving sibling is her youngest brother Paul. Uncle Paul is famous in Beaumont because for years he used to dance to “Don’t Mess with My Toot-Toot” on top of the home dugout during the 7th inning at all the Golden Gators baseball games. Everyone called him the “toot-toot” man and the highlight of many a family reunion was watching Uncle Paul do his dance for the family. Here’s Uncle Paul. He really is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.

Here’s another picture of someone that I can’t explain, but will show the picture to prove that I am not kidding about the polyester or the Italian stereotype. This is a real person, not someone from the Sopranos and why yes, those are gold rimmed tinted glasses he’s wearing.

The best thing was that Caroline enjoyed every minute of it. She loved all the commotion, the noise, the candy and the attention. We took so many pictures that by the end of it she said “Why don’t you just take a picture of yourself?” But I wanted to get it all on film because I know the chances of everyone getting together again are probably slim. As my great Aunt Sarah, who is 96 said, “Honey, we need to do this more often because some of these people are getting old.” Here’s Aunt Sarah.

**This post was originally published in October of 2006**

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