Well, we are in the midst of some serious hurricane preparedness here. Never mind that the weather people don’t really have a clue where Ike is actually going and they are still showing the entire Texas coast as their CONE OF UNCERTAINTY.
Which, by the way, is totally a term I’m going to start using on a daily basis.
“Are you cooking dinner tonight?”
“Well, the CONE OF UNCERTAINTY is still pretty big. I’ll get back to you around 6:00.”
Anyway, I wasn’t really concerned about Hurricane Ike because my relationship with weather people, especially local weather people, is tenuous at best.
I have been burned too many times by BIG CHILL ’07 or FROSTY FREEZE ’05, which turned out to be little more than some very cold drizzle and meteorology hype.
But I began to pay attention when P mentioned that I might want to go to HEB and stock up some bottled water and canned goods.
Although for the record, it would have to be a pretty dire situation before I’d pop open a can of Chef Boyardee Ravioli.
Anyway, P is not a weather alarmist, which is why he never could have been a meteorologist. He is always the one to tell me that it’s not really going to rain, or snow, or what have you.
Needless to say, when he mentioned canned goods, I took notice and began making a list, although he did caution me to not go overboard. I thought that was kind of a cheap shot considering that those bottles of water I purchased during the height of the Y2K scare served us well through the better part of 2006.
So I headed to HEB and loaded my cart with various hurricane readiness items.
Oops. Almost forgot breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day, even in the middle of a natural disaster.
And lest you think I am not taking this seriously, then let me show you this.
Do not play around with Survival Mix. That bad boy will last us the better part of an hour if times get tough.
I almost bought a big box of Velveeta for queso, but felt it might be wasteful to use one of our Hurricane Preparedness Candles of Natural Illumination to melt a pound of processed cheese with some Ro-tel.
So we’ll just have to stick to guacamole with our chips and salsa.
And canned Spaghetti-o’s.
Now we just have to sit and wait for what may end up being a slight drizzle and a small gust of wind.
Oh, and the inevitable headlines which will scream “We Don’t Like Ike” and other terribly original captions.
Earlier, I thought the crown jewel of my day was when P came home with a rented generator and a window unit air-conditioner that he purchased from Home Depot. Because while I am willing to live on peanut butter crackers for days, P knows that I am going to need me some A/C.
Who says romance is dead?
But then while I was cooking dinner, P told me to go look at what was outside our neighbor’s house.
Looks like Cousin Eddie had to evacuate.
I have also added that phrase “the cone of uncertainty” to my favorites!
It’s amazing how often you can slip it into conversation!
OMG, I love you! I’m sitting here stressing. Making lists of lists of crud we need to do/buy before bailing out of Houston. I cant believe I forgot the Sour Patch Kids!
My parents are heading your direction (if they didnt pull their usual routine and drive in the middle of the night) so we’re headed north to Dallas. Stay safe, and please, please, stay funny so I’ll have something to laugh at during all of this!
New reader here…glad I found you. You are a breath of fresh air!
I had to de-lurk to ask April – is going a different direction from your parents intentional???
We’ve got our hurricane supplies, and our house boarded up. I live about 30 miles from the coast, just north of where it is (for now anyway) projected to make landfall. We’re under mandatory evacuation, and am waiting for hubby to finish up at work before we leave. There’s a lot of anxiety around here, so prayers would be appreciated!
Big Mama you can buy the Tostitos queso in a jar and I am sure it wouldn’t take as much of a candle to heat as it would to melt the Velvetta beforehand. Or make the queso with Rotel early and then use your candle heat to warm it up.
Up here in North Texas we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the rest of Texas! Praying for Jesus to protect all of you who are in Ike’s path.
I’ll be praying it is nothing more than a big gust of wind for you. In between snickering over the “Cone of Uncertainty.”
Oh man, I’m gonna have to steal that one from you.
I hope the wind doesn’t blow that trailer right into your house!!!
Praying that Ike fizzles out….
Hey! What’s my cousin doing in Texas? Tell him I said the family reunion is set for next June.
My husband grew up in Myrtle Beach, SC so he’s not an alarmist either. He’s heard his share of warnings and watches that turned out to be nothing more than a strong breeze. But, he just told me to go ahead and ice down the bottled water and beer that we have. So, he’s taking this seriously as well!
I’m wondering if my husband would understand if I rushed out to buy survival gear like yours. You know, we might get some good rain from Ike way up here in TN. Better full than hungry is what I say.
LOVE this. And cousin Eddie dropping in across the street just made it that much sweeter.
My oldest came home from school yesterday all concerned with whether or not we had enough toilet paper–if I came home from HEB with your hurricane survival items, he would pray for hurricanes every day!
Feel free to bring your M&M’s and queso up north to Georgetown, should the wind gusts top 15 mph.
I was just watching National Lampoon’s Christmas last night, too funny (what it was doing on HBO in September I’ll never know–and we pay how much for that?).
Its not just the weather people in Texas, its an epidemic all over the country. I heard for the last three days it was going to be raining at the bus stop this am. Not a drop. And I love how our weather forcasters in Iowa are trying to predict Ike’s track. Because we get a lot of hurricanes here, they have lots of practice.
We have relatives visiting from Texas right now and they are going to try and hurry home and beat the storm. I say stay in Iowa where we are always hurricane-free!
It may be 40 degrees in the morning right now, but that’s just our natural air conditioning.
Hope Ike is all bark and no bite!
WOW! It looks like luxury has no boundaries in your life. I say….come on Ike! Bring it, dude!
You’ve got paradise cuisine to live on.
Praying for ya, hang on tight!
That trailer is hilarious. Our weather folks here in Dallas have included us in the Cone, so we’re getting hype over that as well as the “Evacuee Updates”.
I love the Survival Mix. So funny!
Please…We have Ike and “Homeowners Flood Home Depot”
and you bought low fat cheez-its?
I’m starting to get a little nervous too. They’re saying it’ll still be a tropical storm, with up to 75mph winds when it reaches DFW.
Last time I checked DFW was in NORTH Texas.
Of course they said Gustav would be a problem for us and we didn’t even get a drop of rain, so…
This post made my day. I needed a good laugh! Thanks
Haha, this was hilarious! And good thing you got In Style and People – because I can’t wait out Hurricane Ike without celebrity gossip either!
Thanks for the great post. We are in Northwestern Pa so we are Ike free.
I think DH would freak if all I brought home were sour patch kids and Cheese-Its.
It looks like you have a great selection of reading material to keep you entertained.
Pray that Cousin Eddie doesn’t come over and ask for a cup of sugar.
Hang in there and stay safe.
I’ve just got to say I too have adopted “the cone of uncertainty” I refer to my laundry room as that, and my kids rooms as well! Love It
also when Gustav came to town, to me it was a major let down, not that I like disaster but they force you to anticipate this huge storm and I will admit I was excited, Anyway when all Gustav brought was some crazy mist we started calling it a “Misticane”
That looks like what I would’ve brought home from the store. Uncertain times always call for celebrity gossip & candy
.
Girl…just spent 5 days without power thanks to Gustav! You’d be surprised how good some Ravioli’s and/or Spaghetti o’s taste when 100% of South LA is without power therefore no other real options are available. AND- I only wish my husband had been so romantic as to have purchased an a/c unit prior to the storm. We were 2 days in before we got our hands on a generator and a/c unit! Misery! Trust me, I learned the hard way this time to be more prepared! Good luck and be safe!
Well, looks like you’re set. I think you shopped wisely and have everything you need.
My senior year in high school, which was…um…2 years ago….we had a “blizzard.” Mind you, I live in Alabama, so the term “blizzard” was used loosely. We had 2 inches of snow that melted before lunch. We made a snowman that was about the size of a newborn baby and used up all the snow in the front yard. People REALLY had tshirts that said “I Survived the Blizzard of ’93!” The meteorologists were just a little off on their prediction. Kinda like they are a lot of times during hurricanes.
But you be safe. Enjoy your guacamole and People Style Watch. I’ll be sitting all weekend at a softball tournament in the 91 degree blazing sun.
Okay, you can tell you grew up around here. I think it’s all the transplanted Texans that create the scare and the newspeople that need a story on an otherwise dull day. Still I pray it dissipates and no one gets hurt. Stay dry. Love, Annette
(I wrote this yesterday under the cat post, but it is so applicable for what you’re saying today, I brought it over here for you to see):
My hubby is in your neck of the woods as of today (he’s commanding the aviation units of the Guard that have come to Texas to prepare to help out with Ike — 9 states there in total!) They’ll move into different cities as soon as the big winds pass through.
He said today as he was leaving he will proabably end up in the Houston area, Austin area, and SA area.
You’re gonna laugh — and I’m not proud to say — I told him, ‘If you end up in San Antonio, and you HAPPEN to get a break, would you PLEASE SOMEHOW get to
Mi Tierra and buy me as many of those Dulce de Coco things as you can fit in your bag??’
I swear to you, he did a double take.
‘What in the world are you talking about?!’
But he does love me. I emailed to his blackberry a map of where it is, and what they look like.
and then I shamefully prayed that Mi Tierra (and no place else) would be hurt by that storm.
Doggone it, when I was at the Siesta Fiesta, we ate there on Friday afternoon, and I became ADDICTED to those white coconut things with the pecan in the top of them. I’ve been going through
u g l y withdrawals, NEEDING them, ever since. I went to their online store when I got home and was about to buy a box of 12 of them for FORTY DOLLARS (when they cost me just over a dollar each in the store that day). He pulled my hand off the clicker on the mouse just as I was about to DO IT. I swear to you, my hand was shaking.
This is not my most shining moment.
But have you ever tasted those little suckers?!? THEY ARE GOOD.
Praying for you all.
much love,
Lavonda
I’m glad to see someone else understands the importance of Sour Patch Kids in a crisis.
Mel, I sure hope that I get to live through some kind of act of God with you. You are totally prepared with all the necessities of life! I’ll bring the wine. You bring the guac and chips. We’ll totally outlast whatever CONE OF UNCERTAINTY comes our way, and we’ll enjoy it too!
I am busting a gut about Cousin Eddie. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, supposedly working from home (don’t tell anyone), and for some reason the picture of that camper has made my morning.
I’ve been reading your blog for several weeks as a lurker. Love it!
You should see all the Oklahoma weather dudes get freakishly hyped up on adrenaline when the the first “tornado conditions” materialize each spring. You would think they had just found a winning lottery ticket instead of deadly weather patterns.
There is, and will always be, a HUGE ‘cone of uncertainty’ around whether I will make dinner each night.
I like to keep my hubby guessing.
I also like it when he says, “Let’s just get pizza”!
We are preparing for a lot of wind/rain here in East Texas too. Because of that “cone of uncertainty” we could get slammed, or just some drizzles. And tornadoes. Who knows… (I like that phrase too.)
We are like P, don’t panic just prepare; so we have some water, peanut butter and crackers, canned goods. Important papers are in one notebook to grab quickly if we need to leave. I HAVE to go back to the store for the M&Ms though. How could I forget those, and SKITTLES?
We’ll keep praying for everyone.
Why are you so funny? I just love your blog. Thanks for the many laughs. Survival mix…ha ha ha.
Sour Patch Kids and Hostess donettes? I’m evacuating to your house. I’ll even bring a crock pot and generator just for that so we can have queso.
Okay, that was funny, and your post just kept being funny. Love it!
I now have a strong desire to add “Cone of Uncertainty” to my sentences…
~Luke
I’m in Austin, and believe you me, I’m battening down the hatches and stocking up on Ritz Bits, Nutter Butters and Fresca. Who KNOWS how long we’ll be down and out.
Praying for the coast, and praying for some good rain for our lakes and rivers in Central TX.
*Laughing Hysterically*
Best of luck with Ike. As least you have your survival mix.
The array of fears in this world intrigues me. From the fear of spiders and scorpions to hurricanes and tornados. Then if you flip on the news, there will be thousands more things/people to fear. My husband is just like P. He wanted to go chase the May 3, 1999 Oklahoma tornado instead of drive away from the F5 beast! I said to him, “That thing can turn at any second and you want to shadow it?” To quote Job 8:9 ‘For we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow.’ (The funny part about that day was that we were on our way home from having an ultrasound to find out what our firstborn’s gender was going to be.) I guess he likes to live on the edge of the cone of uncertainty. (That phrase is hilarious!)
How funny.
Growing up on the Gulf Coast, no one ever took huricanes seriously, until Ivan and Katrina. Now everyone freaks out. I do recommend the generator…Even in the Atlanta area, our power was out for 2 days with Katrina. My husband was “in the business” and was able to rent a welder run by a generator…desperate times call for desperate measures. Using that contraption was how we survived. You’ll be glad P got one, but hopefully, you won’t need it.
I’ve learned the hard way how to respond to my husband…”oh, it’ll be OK” means he’s DEAD WRONG. If he starts freaking out, I need to start freaking out too. Let’s hope this is all much to do about nothing.
My daughter was at TCH in Houston a few yrs ago when Rita hit (or missed, whatever). For days before landfall I wept tears and prayed HARD… seeing as I’d been stuck in a hospital room for the better part of a month watching the drama of Katrina unfold. Needless to say, I was determined to take precautions so… I bought a pink Texas Children’s t-shirt and a sharpie at the gift shop and wrote any and all contact information ALL OVER IT and threated our nurse with her very life if she removed it from my daughter’s body. Some strong rain and a few gusts of wind later I was left feeling pretty goofy…and apologetic. Fortunately, TCH has some pretty sweet and forgiving nurses :O).
We live just north of Austin and it’s a well-know fact our area is under a “weather-dome” which means that rain clouds part right down the middle and go clean around us. So when people started saying that Ike was making a B-line towards us I had two words. Hurricane. Rita. They said the same thing then and you couldn’t find a can of spagheti-o’s or a bottle of water on any store shelf for miles a round. We didn’t get. one. drop. NOT ONE DROP! In fact it was hotter and dryer than it had been all season. So, in my contempt of their cries that the sky is falling I am holding an outdoor b-day party for our two daughters. Hmmph! (Ok, I do have a back-up plan just in case)
I would have bought just about the same stuff. Nothing says disaster preparedness like junk food and magazines.
We just emerged from the cone of uncertainty with Gustav and Hanna on the east coast, neither of which were a intense as Ike. We spent more time waiting and wondering what was gonna happen than we did actually getting wind and rain. God bless P for the new AC unit. Just wondering, does he hava a post-Ike plan for it?
LOL!! Can I just say that I love me some cousin Eddie. THat’s probably my family’s favorite movie of all time. I hope the storm is over hyped and it doesn’t surprise you. If it does, you’ll have to use this line though, “Eddie, if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be any more surprised than I am right now.”
Oh, the “cone of uncertainty” is brilliant. An it has so many uses.
That bag of survival mix would last me about 10-15 minutes depending on whether or not I had eaten breakfast.
And I know you love queso but Ro-Tel is so much better in cream cheese with sausage. I’m not sure you could cook sausage and melt cream cheese over a candle but it never hurts to try…
I hear ya…why make survival mix in such a small bag?
Their marketing department needs to rethink THAT one!
Good luck, stay safe!
Growing up in South Florida… and surviving Andrew, you’ll be VERY THANKFUL for your spaghetti-o’s and whatever other preparation you did. Believe me, when the electricity is out, there is NO FOOD OR WATER to be seen, you’ll be very happy w/ your chips and guacamole. And, in the event… that there isn’t any “fall out” from Ike, you can be thankful you didn’t need it. Hurricanes are nothing to laugh at. Better to be prepared and not need it, than to be w/ out food, water, and light for days on end.
I’m going to make cookies. Don’t want to be without cookies.
And I’m with you on the ravioli. Blech!
I think that your magazines and donuts and queso and chips are the essential hurricane preparedness items that everyone might need to have and even though the cone of uncertainity isn’t affecting the great state of Tennessee it does reach slighty to us for rain and I think I need to head out to Kroger or Publix and pick up my hurricane preparedness kit..if you don’t mind I will copy what you bought.
I hope cousin “eddy” doesn’t do what the Eddy did in Christmas Vacation. lol
You have inspired me to watch the movie!!
Praying for your safety.
Love,
Patty
You are so stinkin’ hilarious! Hey, at least you’ll be prepared with the car washing items. I hope things pass quickly for yall. Keep us updated!
Jenny from VA
I LOVE that the Cheez-its are reduced fat…a girl has to watch her figure, even if a storm is brewin’! Never mind the sour patch kids, survival mix, chips, guac, etc. At least the Cheez-its are reduced fat!
Be safe.
wow, i did not think the police would even let a (ahem) trailer in the neighborhood?!?! clearly, things have changed since i lived there and they almost booted me and my mazda 323 out.
and, here in dallas where they are using words like “tropical storm,” i am praising God for the money saving mom blog that motivated me to go buy 20 (yes, 20) boxes of cheez-its during last weeks Target sale of the century. i figure we are good to go if it is just our family weathering the storm or if the wedding shower i am rumored to be hosting on sunday actually happens…but, i clearly need some more magazines. thanks for the reminder. THAT would have been tragic.
seriously, tho, be safe.
Oh my goodness! I think I’ll remember this post and laugh everytime we have a hurricane!
We live in Florida.
I know my kids would love surviving on your hurricane preparedness supplies! LOL
We haven’t ever lost our electricity during a storm thankfully. -Even when all our neighbors have. During Charley we sat around and watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy for hours on end…
two thoughts here…if something happens and cousin eddie decides to evacuate and gets stuck in a 10 hour traffic jam on the interstate at least he will likely have his own bathroom….a commodity that can be hard to find on interstates.
everytime the hurricanes hit down there they create a weather pattern here perfect for flooding our little neck of the River….
praying for ya;ll and all of us
steff
Was the “Deliverance” theme song playing when “cousin Eddy” drove up? Your hurricane supplies look a lot like mine! Luckily (for us) Ike won’t affect us over here in Alabama, but I’ll be praying everybody in your area stays safe!
you said,”Although for the record, it would have to be a pretty dire situation before I’d pop open a can of Chef Boyardee Ravioli.”
your HEB purchases beg to differ
I am GRAVELY concerned though that you purchased Frito Lay Bean Dip and I don’t see a single Big Scoop Frito in sight…
You’re my kind of shopper!
Oh I do so heart your breakfast selection!
Be safe!
Hee!
Omg! You crack me up. Cousin Eddie. Hee. Ho. Hah. Eat some Cheezits for me. That would be what I would buy too! Hopefully, the cone of uncertainty clears up and spares ya.
http://www.thesouthernfamily.blogpsot.com
I’m so glad to see you have your priorities in order! Good luck. We’ll be thinking about you all.
Good call with the people magazine!
With the boys’ school calling an emergency half-day-only tomorrow and our pantry here in Austin looking much the same as your “readiness supplies”, we are thiking we like Ike!
Oh how I love your wit!
Queso over a candle?, puhlease….surely P has a turkey fryer? You can make queso for the WHOLE neighborhood! Take care and be safe!
You are too funny. We too are waiting on Ike. However I do think we are going to get more than a drizzle here in College Station. You would think though that we were on the coast the way everyone is freaking out at the grocery store and the gas station.
Hey! I love your blog and have been a big fan for a long time. I know you have a lot of readers, and I mean this with all the respect in the world. I’ve survived numerous hurricanes, and have seen people who don’t take it seriously… well, not make it. There are people near you in the cone who will not survive Friday night/Saturday morning. I work in television, and we need people to take this seriously. I wish we could all get through with chips and salsa (would be much more fun that way) and a generator. I love your humor, but maybe encourage your readers who will find themselves in harms way to take it seriously and evacuate if they need to? Again, I love your writing… but God uses your words to reach out to all of us… maybe if you could just take a moment to stress how serious this could be to those who need to hear it. Thank you!!!
Cousin Eddie! Watch out if he’s emptying something down the street drains…And can we tell enough entertaining stories about weathermen who are wr-wr-wrong? Our local weatherman SPENDS THE NIGHT AT THE STATION IN HIS RV so he won’t miss any of the action. Way overboard. I live in Austin and we were told this afternoon that school is being released early (noon) “just in case”. (“Just in case” I want to go to the early showing of “The Women” which is coming out tomorrow?) I will feel badly if we do get rain and wind, but that aforementioned cone has already been moved untold times. Break out the queso.
These are so the same items I would want/need in the event of a hurricane. Fortunately we don’t get any of those here in WI off the waves of Lake Michigan. I will get back to you when the snow starts flying!
I’m likin’ the stash, my friend.
From someone who was just about “swept away” by Gustav….have to say I’m glad you took the hubby up on the suggestion.
Now my stash…it included lunch meat–lots of it! BAD IDEA! The rented generator just may bring him zillions of brownie points. We went just over one week without power. We lost everything in our refrigerator. And eventually…everything in the ice chest we could not keep cold. We floated from friends to family members to take hot baths because “some people” have gas water heaters. Eventually, my husband’s cousin in Slidell got power and let us borrow his generator and two ac units. YIPEE!
I PRAY that you are spared. And I totally undertand the frustration of preparing after the hype and having nothing but canned soup and tuna fish to eat for a week.
Our news tonight (I’m just next door to Baton Rouge)….gas up tonight because they are predicting that due to the storm….gas will reach $5 a gallon tomorrow.
We’ll see…going to post about it now.
Hang on tight….
Rena Gunther
Love your list of emergency supplies! Keep your chin up — and your nose above water!
Thank you for the laughs. Seriously this was a “read aloud to the fam” post. You are hilarious. Hope everything goes ok and I am so going to use the cone of uncertainty…totally gonna borrow that one from you. I love that! “Mom, can I go to Jo’s?” Well, the cone of uncertainty is covering a large part of your dirty room….let’s see if we can’t get that area narrowed down a bit.”
Hilarous. I may have to make my husband read this one!
“Cone of uncertainty” is right up there with “conditions are going to deteriorate.” Hurricane season is the super bowl of weather. The media will scare you to death this time of year. Good luck! I’ve got pantry full of Spaghetti O’s over in FL.
Girl, after a few days without power, you will be lovin that Ravioli. YUM.
Been thinking about y’all. How is your family closer to the coast?
That there’s an RrrrrV. tenament on wheels. ha!
Have you seen the 5 pound bags of Sour Patch Kids that they sell now?
Yeah, we’ve torn through two of those bad boys this summer. t-w-o. That’s 10 lbs of sugar, red 40,corn syrup and tartaric acid (better known as pucker powder)!!
And we loved every minute of it!
Oh my word. And I thought folks in my neck were over reacting.
I live overseas and I’m totally drooling over your picture of items from HEB. Especially the bean dip and powdered donuts.
On a serious note, I hope you will not get too much wind/rain!
I wanted to email before I left but I never found the time. We left yesterday and it took us all day to get to Gulf Shores, Alabama. I am worried about your Grandmother. Did she leave? They are saying right now the surge in Port Arthur is right at the seawall and it will be over it later this morning. Praying for you and your family.
That is some serious preparation!! The bare bones disaster food supply really cracked me up. Now with Ike missing you, I think you should have a “hurricane drill” this weekend. Just pretend–just for the m-m’s, sour patch kids and People magazine!!!
The cone of uncertainty definitely applies to toddlers.
Husband: How do you think the baby will be if we go to dinner tonight?
Me: That would DEFINITELY be in the cone of uncertainty.
I love your survival kit stash…. you have ALL the basics covered! Some salty, some sweet. Perfect!
Praying for all of you in Texas effected by the storm in any way.
I like Cousin Eddy’s rig – - – but where in the world are they going to find a decorated Christmas tree THIS TIME OF YEAR to short out and set on fire with a cat?????
That thar’s an aarRV!
But I’m takin it with me when we leave here next month…
Here are my major reasons why Ike Hype was a major letdown:
a). No water for my front and back yard,
b). No water for the lakes here in Austin (what a dry summer it was/is!)
c). Hyped up gasoline price (my family in Georgia reported gas price jump from $3.49 to $4.05!! Terrible way to fleece people!
d). No “mid-autumn holiday” celebration this weekend because everyone got scared and cancelled their events
e). No high school football
f). When I told people on blog that I was ticked off for news media lied to us Austinites, someone actually called me a heartless liar, as if they know more than someone that lives in Austin about the weather here!
g). I would love loved to teach my son about about the power of nature … he is too glued to TV and toys. Now, I am NOT praying for death and destruction in Austin, just a little wind and a little rain! >_< So my son actually can match what he sees on TV and websites to what’s happening outside. In a harmless way here in Austin.
Thanks for the blog, I will re-visit often!
^_^
I finally realized why I never got all of this talk about “Donettes”!
They are packeged as Hostess “Sweet Sixteens” here in NC!