I am seriously not kidding when I say that I have absolutely nothing to write about.
If you think I’m kidding, then let me confess that I just wrote an entire post about the fact that I washed the slipcovers on my couch this week.
In fact, the following is the post I just wrote and then, as I proofread it, caused me to fall into a deep sleep. I feel the need to include it as proof that I’m not exaggerating about how little I have to say.
Six years ago, I ordered a couch.
I had just been through the worst summer of my life, which involved a terrible miscarriage that had chewed me up and left me with a footlocker full of emotional issues and somehow I decided that a new couch would make things better.
Interestingly enough, the couch didn’t really help matters.
However, in the midst of all my hormonal weeping over fabric choices, I did have the presence of mind to order a couch with removable slipcovers because it seemed like a brilliant, practical choice in light of all the babies I was sure we were going to eventually have that would spit up all over it.
Yes the couch was expensive, but practicality doesn’t always come cheap. And I sold P on it by declaring that we’d have this couch until our kids took it off to college with them because we’d be able to wash all the slipcovers on a regular basis and keep it looking flawless.
So, on Monday, I washed the slipcovers for the first time.
In six years.
The problem was that somewhere along the way I became frightened of washing the slipcovers. What if they shrank? What if they dissolved? What if they were ruined forever?
But after a six year accumulation of baby spit up, Nilla Wafer crumbs and sticky, dirty Cheeto fingers, I decided it was time to face my fears.
I washed. I dried. I have a spotless couch with incredibly clean cushions.
Honestly, I will count it as one of the great highlights of my life. Or at least my week.
By the way, I was going to title that post “The Couch”.
Sometimes my life makes me sad.
***Edited to add that I’m not really sad. I mean, yes, I’m sad that my wordsmithing abilities have taken leave and all I could think to write about was my couch, but not sad in the traditional sense. I just didn’t want y’all feeling bad for me because it’s not like the heel broke off my favorite pair of shoes or anything tragic like that.
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I can totally relate! Don’t be sad, your post just made my morning that got off to a horrible start, a little lighter.
I’m actually a little sad now because I wish I had slip covers on my couch so I could wash them and have a fresh new couch.
Hey, your week was exciting compared to mine!
I’m sorry you’re down today.
Oddly enough, my couch cushions have removeable covers, but not the rest of the couch. And the couch is a cream color. My mom suggested that I wash the cushion covers. I pointed out that then the couch would look stupid because it would have clean cushions and dirty backs and arms.
So, I’ll just wait until we move and then buy new furniture! 
BTW, if you need a laugh, you should read the cute kid quote on my blog that I posted yesterday.
You know, every now and then a lack of drama to write about is a good thing. It means everything is calm for a change. Enjoy it while it lasts ’cause it will probably be over soon if your house is like ours.
Hello? 6 years ago we also bought a couch with slipcovers (and a matching armchair). I cannot even count the number of times we’ve had to wash those things due to someone either barfing or peeing on them. They are worn to shreds by all the laundering (well, I guess I shouldn’t have thrown them into the dryer, but that’s another story).
So the question here is, doesn’t your child ever vomit?
Oh, wait, I remember now – she does. But into your hands…got it. I think I prefer it on the slipcovers.
Oh, don’t feel bad! So far this morning, I have blogged about my daughter’s sheer lack of interest in me and hour, along with a plea for suggestions on how to reduce swelling. I’m sure my readers are probably snoring loud enough by now to get caught by their supervisors and/or children.
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Would help if I told you I found the post interesting? (What does that say about me???)
Just think about the carpool and the prettier dress – that’ll cheer you right up.
*hugs*
I need a couch like that!
Where is the picture of the couch?
Sometimes God just lets us have a slow week in life. HAHAHA!!! He knows we need it now and then. Have a fabulous day!!!
~ Molly P
Oh honey, we all have boring lives. That’s what makes blogging so much fun! we get to try to take the mundane and make it seem awesome.
I think you were very smart to order the couch with the removable slip covers. It would be a thing of beauty in our home.
I’m sorry that you are feeling less than happy today. Please know that I will be thinking of you as I go about my day.
Blessings!
Thank you so much for sharing about the couch! I truly am encouraged to know that you suffer the same mundaneness that can plague me as well. Exactly one year ago this week I suffered a terrible miscarriage that also wreaked havoc on my mental and emotional health. As miserable and terrifying as it was, I praise God that I can see He’s using it to His glory.
Okay then, here’s an idea:
Since you’re fortunate enough to live in SA where you have Mi Tierra, go down there to lunch or dinner, or even breakfast for that matter since they’re open 24 hours a day, and eat some of that chicken soup with the rice and guacamole and cheese and cilantro in it. Then stop at that pastry counter and get you one of those white coconut heavenlies (Dulce de Coco) and eat it before you even leave because it’s sooooo good. Matter of fact, buy some extra ones to eat at home, because trust me, you’ll wish you had later if you don’t.
Then, once you’re back home, write about how good it all was and how lucky you are to live there and be able to do that anytimeatallthatyouwantto. And how you wish your internet friend in Atlanta lived there so she could eat there and have those coconut things anytimeatallthatshewantedto.
Well, that’s where I’m at today. Off to volunteer at the school to help second graders make scarecrows in art class!
Then eat lunch with my fifth grader.
I love times like this with them.
SO precious.
I sure wish my 13 year old couch had slip covers right now.
Blogger’s block is the worst!
Blogs are precious things!!
I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that something wonderfully bloggable crosses your path today. Or, better yet, multiple things!! The best feeling is being ahead a few days!
p.s. – See – you shouldn’t have let BooMama have the Marriot crib blog so easily
Don’t be sad about your couch post. A couple of weeks ago I posted about the healing powers of the homemade chili I made. It was simply because my life at that point was, “Coffee. School. Stress. Repeat.”
You have given us all enough to laugh about and ponder. I enjoyed reading about the couch cleaning.
I’m actually glad you shared about washing your slip covers on your couch. We might be buying a couch soon – would love to know what kind yours is…I was considering buying a cheap one, just to get a new one, but now I might wait and get one that costs more and will last longer.
I totally get it! My life’s mundane activities are, at times, all I have! Not long ago my hubby and I went out for a RARE dinner alone. As we sat there in silence, I realized we were “that” couple. You know, the one you see sitting in a restaurant, not speaking to one another? The kind of couple you’ve always seen and felt sorry for? Now I realize that those women were probably just stay-at-home moms and didn’t have anything to contribute to a conversation, save stories of poop and butt-wiping and other inappropriate dinner topics.
If I were you, not only would I be spending the day washing my slipcovers, but in the process I would be “blogging” it in my head . . .how sad is that?!
Oh my word, I’m SO glad I’m not the only one who tries to make something interesting out of the utter nonsense that comprises my daily life! It’s hard, this fabrication of an exciting existence!
ooops…not sure where my first comment went…I messed up
Ok..
Any breakthru’s on the hair? Did you ever get your hands on The Little Wonder from Sally’s?
Funny….I have a post titled “It Will Get Better, I Promise” this week! don’t know what’s up….life’s a lull of mundane peace! Praise God
But, your talent still makes the mundane laugable…great!
Need to post a photo of said couch. That makes it exciting.
I’d love to see a picture of this remarkable couch…. we are couch shopping.
A girl after my own heart! I kid you not, but after three years I just washed my slipcovers for the very 1st time too this week. The slipcovers that I just HAD to have because I could just unzip them and throw them in the washer whenever I wanted! Afterwards I marveled at them while my husband sat back shaking his head!
How pathetic am I…I actually liked your couch story. I wish I had slipcovers on my couch!
I have no slip covers but….be glad you could wash them. For me it would require a new sofa. Or…..hmmm, do ya think I could take my sofa to the car wash????
Now, that would make for quite the blog post. :0)
Here’s something to write about: Now that Fall TV is back, what is the status of Friday Night Lights? I haven’t seen any previews for it. Did NBC cancel it?
I just appreciate that you ALWAYS update your blog! I love reading about what everyone is up to and I get disappointed when I don’t hear from them (even though I have a hard time posting everyday!) I think it helps me know that there are others like me out there!! Besides, your stories always bring a laugh to my day! Thanks for sharing about your couch!
Oh honey… you can’t post that and not show the couch. I mean, where is said clean couch? Some of us haven’t seen one of those in forever.
wow.
I think you have just inspired me to actually remove the zippered covers from the pillows on my couch and wash them. I may even post pictures.
Look at what you have started.
While you are on a cleaning spree…
In your free time, could you come clean my oven?
It is self-cleaning.
I just never get around to pushing that button and letting the house get all hot and stinky.
Awwww Big…..do not be bummed!
The couch post was a goooooooot one!
I love a good shopping for what’s important in life story!
Plus, you can now say……”See, this couch was a grand investment!”.
And look, now you have a bonus in that you have something to look forward to – you now have overcome your fear of the slipcover.
A friend of mine has a couch,love seat and oversized chair from Pottery Barn.The first time I ever went to her house I thought she was crazy.
OKAY THAT MAKES NO SINCE.I HIT SUBMIT COMMENT BEFORE I WAS FINISHED.Anyway a friend of mine has a couch,love seat and oversized chair from Pottery Barn.IN WHITE!The first time I was ever at her house I thought she was crazy.I mean who has all white furniture with children(mess makers).Then she told me that the covers come off.Her couch is ALWAYS spotless.I loved this post by the way.
Well, my dear, to quote another southern belle, “tomorrow is another day…” I’m certain that something will happen to inspire your inner-author again. And if it doesn’t, well, then, just do what Scarlett did. Take those old slip covers and make yourself a new dress out of them. That will give you something to blog about.
You are just funny. That’s all I could come up with. ;>)
Nope – you haven’t lost your wordsmithing ability at all. How I wish I could write about something as mundane as washing slipcovers and keep my audiences attention. See – I read all the way through to the end. Isn’t that what writing about nothing is all about??? You made the ordinary captivating.
Haha – my son is 6 and there are many, many of those kinds of projects around here that have been put off since he was born. In fact, I take your Cheetos-fingers stained slipcover and raise you a Cheetos-fingers stained sheer window panel WITH safety pins holding it together at the top. One of these days I will replace those and WILL write a post about it
You think YOUR life is a little dull at the moment… I just spent that entire post focused on the fact that, “She said ‘sumer’… I wonder if she knows. I don’t recall her misspelling words before. Is someone going to tell her she said ‘sumer’? I can’t take this… I HAVE to tell her!”
And for that… I believe I should win the “lame-o of the day” award :O).
(now, hurry… proof-read this comment!)
And yet, we still find your couch and slipcovers fascinating. That, my friend, is a gift.
I LOVE your life!! it cracks me up!!
I,like many commenters before me, actually found your couch post interesting. Just a few months ago, I washed the slipcovers on my oh-so-dated denim couch for the first time in TEN years. I am lobbying for a new couch, but my husband says, “Why would we want a new couch now with two kids in diapers and covered with crumbs?”
In essence, I’d like to know the exact wording of your case for a couch with P…and I’ll echo the commenters before me and say “Let’s see a pic of this marvelous piece of furniture!”
Hmm…I was actually wondering the same thing…what couch did you get? I desperately want a slipcovered couch…please, please tell us what you have (especially one that has held up this long!)
And here you thought none of us peeps would care about this!
And you, my funny new blog obsession, are living proof that none of us are alone in our quest to justify our purchases. I’m still waiting for SB to give me the same excuse for his new super-duper hyped up long bow..”But honey, it will last me forty forevers!” Yeah, right and that’s why we already have 5 in the garage? I’m all about a couch or a pair of shoes that we don’t have to justify! You make me laugh, Big Mama – sometimes I even snort when I read your blog!
Amazingly, I found that quite entertaining and applicable to my life at the moment (mostly it made me wish I had a couch like that in the midst of my current life situation….3 children under 6).
Your posts always make me laugh! Love ya!
I find myself wanting to see a picture of the couch! You don’t have to have the perfect post EVERY day, couches are interesting too.
I particularly like that you mentioned that you would be going to college with your children as I plan to do. I wonder if they have a parent’s dorm?
ha! you did the post!
When you are a fabulous writer (and you are) even a couch story is entertaining. Plus, your readers need something else to think about besides impending doom. Why not your couch drama?
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