A few days ago, I received an email from Shaun Groves with a form that I needed to fill out for my trip to the Dominican Republic with Compassion. The form required some information from my passport so P got it out of the safe for me, and when I opened it up I gasped in horror.
It is, without question, the worst picture that has ever been taken of me and that is saying something because I am highly unphotogenic. I got the passport back in 2001 before P and I went to Sicily with my family. Caroline wasn’t born until 2003, so I can’t even blame sleep deprivation for my pasty white skin and horrendous hair.
And, really, I can’t even discuss the plaid sweater set that I’m wearing. It’s just too painful to think I ever thought it was a good idea.
Anyway, filling out the form made me think about my upcoming trip and I realized I’d never shared why I decided to go.
Back in early June, Shaun sent me an email asking if I’d be interested in going to the Dominican Republic with Compassion. I talked to him on the phone, we discussed the trip, I promised to pray about it and let him know.
P didn’t really think it was a good idea, mainly because he was worried about my safety, and I just didn’t feel like it was the right thing for me. I emailed Shaun back, told him thanks for the invitation, but I just didn’t think this was the right time for me to make the trip.
The first Sunday of August, P went to church without Caroline and me. He came home and told me about the service. Our church had just participated in something called Royal Family Kids’ Camp, which is a week-long camp for abused and neglected kids.
He told me about the stories the camp counselors shared during church and was moved to tears just retelling them. He said it made him think about what he was doing to help the least of these. I felt something in my spirit begin to question if I was supposed to email Shaun and ask if it was too late to go on the trip.
But I pushed the feeling down and decided I was just caught up in the moment as I heard the heartbreaking stories.
Gulley and I left that Tuesday to take the kids on a road trip to Bryan. On Wednesday night, I got on her mama’s computer to check email. I scanned over everything in my inbox and then saw something that caught my eye.
It was an email from Shaun with the heading ARE YOU SURE?
I didn’t have to open it to know what it said. I mean chances were good that Shaun wasn’t emailing me to ask if I was sure about the shoes I’d bought the day before. Sure enough, the email said there was still room on the trip and asked if I was sure I didn’t want to go. He needed an answer by Friday.
As I lay in bed that night, my mind was racing with all the reasons I didn’t think I should go. Finally I just said, “God, I will go if you are calling me to go, but you’re going to have to make P okay with it. I can’t go if he doesn’t want me to go.”
Gulley and I drove back to San Antonio on Thursday afternoon. When I got home I continued to pray about whether or not I was supposed to go. Honestly, I knew the answer, but I was scared. It is so outside my comfort zone.
I walked over to the desk and opened my Bible. My eyes immediately fell to the page and the verse I saw was Psalm 139:9, “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
Okay. I get it.
Thursday night after I got Caroline in bed, I sat on the couch with P and told him everything that had happened. He listened and then said, “I’m still completely opposed to you going. I don’t think it’s safe.”
I told him to just pray about it and to keep in mind that God doesn’t always call us to do what’s comfortable. He said he would absolutely pray about it and I knew that he would.
We didn’t talk about it at all the next morning and I just kept praying that God would lead us in the way we should go. Then around lunchtime, P walked in the back door as I was fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Caroline and said, “If you truly feel like God is calling you to go on this trip, then I think you should go. I’m okay with it.”
And there you have it.
I emailed Shaun and told him I was in and was excited about it. Not nervous, not scared, just thrilled to see what God is going to do.
The trip is now a little less than a month away and I have times where I start to feel anxious about it. I’ve never been that far away from Caroline and for that long, but every time the fear starts to rise up God is so faithful to remind me that He is my protector, my strong tower, my strength and my shield.
He has called me to go. And so I will.
Not because it’s comfortable, but because I’ve been called.
“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”
I Corinthians 1:26-27
Praying for you and the team as you follow what God has put before you guys.
My sis gave me this quote a while back and I think it fits: When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He’ll catch you when you fall, or He’ll teach you how to fly!
also, I think you should post that pic and let us be the judge…I’m sure it’s not that bad!!
I will be praying that you have a safe and fantastic trip!
You know, Melanie, 19 years ago, when my husband walked in the door one day and said he wanted our family to move back to England, away from everything I had ever known, and my family, I had a moment of pure panic. And I opened my bible that night, and I read Psalm 139.vs9. I shut, it looked at him, and said, I will pack.
It has become my family’s psalm. And my daughter is now in New Zealand as a consequence. It is still guiding me as I wait to find what I should be doing now. And God has never once let me down. Not in the worst of times.
And re Hollie’s comment above – I have this image of me doing a tandem paragliding jump off a mountain. I wrote about it once. I would have to run and leap off the edge, not seeing the instructor tied to me behind me, but I would have to trust him to open the chute, work the ropes, and let me fly. I could soar, if I trusted enough. And for you right now, God is in control. He is guiding the ropes. And you will fly.
This year, in particular, has been a year of opportunities for obedience for me. Certainly, we all have a million opportunities to be obedient, but there have been some BIG, WAY-OUT-OF-MY-COMFORT-ZONE opportunities that have been presented in which I knew disobedience would rob me of some major blessings.
You’re definitely at that same place, and I’m thrilled for you, as I KNOW, THAT I KNOW, you’re getting ready for an intense, heapin’ helpin’ of blessin’!
Trust me.
Because you have a daughter, you’ll be able to relate to this lesson I learned about “worry.” I’ll be praying that the next month will be tangle-free for you!
http://wifeofasongwriter.blogspot.com/2008/09/hakuna-matata.html
Rock on, Big Mama! God always blesses obedience. Always – go read John 15. Also, might I pass along I Thessalonians 5:24, “Faithful is HE who called you, and HE will do it.” Praying for you.
I love these kind of God stories…where He shows up and works in our hearts in ways that can only be His work! I’ll be praying for you.
Take care,
Julie
It is so awesome to know that you know that it’s God leading. Seeing God change P’s heart and mind is terrific confirmation. You’ll have a large prayer covering, my bloggy friend, so God WIll accomplish His purpose for this trip. Amen.
Whenever God enlarges our territory it is frightening and painful, but always worth it.
Enjoy and get what He wants you to get from it.
How can I sign up?
P.S. I am a passport agent in my small town and I’ve seen some ug-o-lee passport photos. One woman came in last month with a photo of her with her skin bright orange and told me that she didn’t know how come the photo came out so orange and that she obviously didn’t look like that. Then I looked at her and saw that she had used self-tanning stuff and her skin was bright orange. BRIGHT ORANGE.
I will ask God to continue to replace any anxiety or fears with His peace and strength until you return home to P and Caroline. Way to be obedient to His call and His Word.
blogless Annette
I will pray for you.
You will have an army of internets joining the prayers for your trip. Love the way God works!
I can’t wait to see all of the wonderfulness that is going to happen because you have faith and are doing what God is telling you to do.
I will be praying for you and all of the others as you guys take a huge leap of faith and make this trip!
You know I love this story.
And that Scripture? IS A GOOD WORD.
I’ll be praying for your safety on this trip.
I really hate to leave my family. Even for a weekend to fly from Atlanta to San Antonio for a LPL conference. All sorts of fear and panic try to rise up in me thinking about all the ‘what ifs’. Especially because I don’t love to fly. In the time leading up to a trip away from my children, I have to squelch it daily with His help. Because, like we all know: we can’t live in a what if world.
I empathize with your being excited and wanting to go, but not to leave your family. I’ll tell you – you may laugh – how I carry over my OCD from everyday life into my prayer life before any trip. Even for a road trip home to Florida WITH my family, when we (or I) travel I pray out loud WITH SCRIPTURE over us, our car – or plane – and everyone that will be around us and their car -or plane – that we’ll be safe and healthy the whole time. So, when you’re driving behind me down the interstate or in the next plane over thirty thousand feet in the air, you automatically fall under that Covering He’s providing!
You see, I don’t just cover my own bases in prayer.
I cover everyone else’s too.
(We’ll deal with any control issues I may have in the next chapter)
Seriously, I’ll be praying for you and everyone on your trip. You will be blessed, and BE a blessing.
I just know it.
Take Care,
Lavonda
That’s EXACTLY how I feel.
I was completely excited. Not worried. Not nervous. Excited because I knew that God had called me, and He had something in store for me (and hopefully for all those kids in the Caribbean).
But now. . . As it gets closer? A little nervous — or something.
I still can’t wait though.
I can’t wait to hear about all the big things God has planned for you on this trip! You will be so blessed for answering His call!
What a sweet story of God’s leading. I love it! And, I love that verse!! I can’t wait to hear all about the trip.
Awesome! I can’t wait to hear about your trip.
Obedience–putting one foot in front of the other and walking toward God.
I’ll be praying for you.
I LOVE this! May God bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you (and your sweet family too). I will be praying for you and I will be so anxious to hear about the mighty things you and Almighty God do together!
What an amazing story of really listening to God. I needed to hear that this morning. Thank you.
Wow! God was tapping you both on the shoulder; He spoke, and you both listened! Isn’t He amazing! He delights in using us when we are willing to obey and serve. I can’t wait to hear the rest of His story! Continue to trust Him in the moment by moment details.
He is always faithful!
You know this as well as I do that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. I know what you mean about comfort zones–I am one of the queen bees of comfort zones. But you’ll do great! This is going to fill your heart more than you ever imagined.
God is all ready working in you and P to prepare you for your trip. I pray that you see God’s hand in everything during your trip. I can’t wait to hear all about it. Have a great time!
Thanks so much for sharing this story. I admire your courage as a trip like this (and flying) are way our of my comfort zone. I’m sure God will use you in ways you cannot imagine–looking forward to hearing the details when you return!
Woman, the posts you have putting out over the last 4 months has just been God awesome! You’ve shared a bit of what all is going on and wow. God has just been all over you shifting things around and flat out changing stuff.
Do know you’ll be covered in prayer just like we all prayed for Sophie on her trip. Go get em, girl!
So like God to take us where we need Him to be comfortably at peace. Boy, God is always stretching us. I love my comfort zone, and I sense you deal with some anxiety, too. I will be praying for you, sweet friend. You’re under His umbrella of protection when you are in His Will!
I can’t wait to hear about your trip and all that God does through those of you who are going! I have seen so much good come out of the last Compassion trip. I just know this is going to be an amazing experience for you!
I love your story of stepping out in faith, listening for God’s direction and being obedient to His call. There are so many praying for you as you prepare for your trip! Write the verse on an index card and take it everywhere with you!
It is neat the way God uses us. I was asked to go on a mission trip at our church earlier this year. It was a new church for us and didn’t know very many people. The trip was going to be in Ecuador. I had never been on a mission trip and the thought of going to a different country, away from my kids and husband, was scary. But, like you, I prayed about it and no matter where I looked, God was telling me to go.
I did go in July and it was such a wonderful experience.
Have a great time and know that you’ll have lot’s of people praying for you and the rest of the team on this trip.
OH I love it when God neatly lays it out clear as day for us!! This trip will teach you personal things that God wants to show you and how loved you will feel as you lavish love on others.
That’s a 2×4 moment. When God has to use 2x4s to get our attention, because tapping our shoulders doesn’t always work.
I’m sure you will be safe. I’ve been on a mission trip to Russia. I was scared, but you just have to trust God will keep you safe. You can always get safety tips from Boo Mama.
God never said it would be easy to follow, but props to you for choosing to obey.
I know God will bless you immeasurably for following His lead. Lots of prayers will go with you. I look forward to reading about your trip!
I know a little bit of anxiety in this situation is perfectly normal…I’m sure I’d be feeling the same thing. Just wanted you to know that I never once felt unsafe while in the DR. Uncomfortable, yes, but unsafe, no.
And this would also be a good time to rely on good old Phil 4:6-8. So excited for you to have this opportunity!
It all makes me think of the freedom for which Christ set us free. As I read your post I pictured you as a woman free to cross the comfort zone barrier. Free to go to the DR and answer His call. Free indeed.
Praying for you.
You are doing the right thing, and I will pray for your safety during the trip.
God is going to do amazing things.
Already praying for y’all.
I want you to know it is natural to be a little worried…you are a Mom!
But God goes before you and with you wherever you go.
I just returned a week ago from Nicaragua and the blessings I received are too many to list! Go and bless others and you will be blessed!
I completely understand the fear, but believe me, it will be worth it!
I have been on many missions trips, most to places that my friends couldn’t even fathom.
I also lived and worked in the inner-city of Atlanta for four years, and some of the most “dangerous” situations provided the perfect backdrop for God’s presence to show.
Be smart, but don’t worry. That’s always my “mission trip” motto.
Obedience is just putting one foot in front of the other and walking toward God.
I’ll be praying for you.
Melanie,
I’ve been reading & loving you for some time now, but I don’t think I’ve ever posted before. Sorry for the stalking! But posts like this demand that I come out of hiding and thank you for giving me that much needed little kick in the derriere to step out in faith instead of staying in my nice little comfort zone.
And it’s a given that I’ll be praying for you & P and Caroline all during this amazing adventure. I can’t wait to hear how God shows up BIG to bless your socks off! Blessings always follow obedience.
Linda
Praying for you every time I think of you, which is often!
Thank you so much for sharing your calling. It is hard to explain it to other people sometimes, to find the adequate words. As one who has gone on one of those “scary” trips, as well as one who has sent her husband across the world on several trips, I understand the feelings.
I just know you will come back from this trip changed, encouraged, and broken for the people you are going to help. And it seems we need a lot more broken people to change our world.
Just a few quotes I thought you would like…maybe you can use them in your scrapbook after you return!
“Lost people matter to God, and so they must matter to us.” — Keith Wright
“If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.” — C.T. Studd
“No one has the right to hear the gospel twice, while there remains someone who has not heard it once.” — Oswald J. Smith
“Let my heart be broken with the things that break God’s heart” — Bob Pierce, World Vision founder
“I wasn’t God’s first choice for what I’ve done for China… I don’t know who it was… It must have been a man… a well-educated man. I don’t know what happened. Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasn’t willing… and God looked down… and saw Gladys Aylward… And God said – “Well, she’s willing.”
- Gladys Aylward
“Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn’t.”
- John Piper
Have a great and blessed trip, Mel!
So excited for you!! I am also heading into the unknown world of missions at the end of the month with a group to an orphanage in Kenya. I am absolutely sure God has called me to this, and yet it is so outside my comfort zone. So far beyond anything I’ve ever imagined for my life. When my insecurities try to get the best of me, I simply walk back through how God has confirmed this trip for me over and over and over. He is faithful and will equip both you and I to fulfill His purpose in the Dominican Republic and in Kenya. Isn’t He good?
You left out the part about me sending you that e-mail – ‘member the one? – in which I told you I’m not allowed to take a Compassion Blogger trip without a fellow Texan in the group. I think that bit of sucking up probably sealed the deal don’t you?
Kidding, of course. I never said it. I thought it, but I never said it.
Thank you for saying “yes” and thanks to P for praying and trusting us with his wife for a week. This verse comes to mind…
He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses. (Proverbs 28:27)
See you in Miami.
I love how God can use neon signs to tell us of his plan. Good for both you and P for remaining open, listening and obeying God. I will pray for all of the good works that God has planned for you and that you will be wonderfully blessed.
it’s going to be awesome. can’t wait to hear what god does while you’re there.
I think this is the first of many paths loke this that God is going to lead you down. I understand your excitement and your jitters. God will bless you and I have a feeling you will never be the same. Praying for you, P and C.
I can understand your being nervous, and I can certainly under that P’s nervous, but this was obviously meant to happen.
You’ll come back a changed person and your family will benefit from this experience too.
That scripture is such a favorite of mine, it’s embedded in my blog template so that it’s the first thing I see when I go there.
This trip is a wonderful opportunity, for you and for the people who meet you.
Well…You’ve gone and got all up in my business and stepped all over my toes!!! AND, I’m grateful that you posted this. This was one more time God used another person to talk to me.
I will start praying now for this trip! I know that God has great things planned for you. Looking forward to hearing more about it!!
Hugs,
stephanie
So honored to pray for you in this, Melanie. My heart is already there in DR, praying for the least of these and asking God to prepare each heart’s soil for the things you will plant, water or harvest in Jesus’ Name!
Much love,
Holly
Hugs and prayers for the trip, and your family too.
Melanie – I am so excited for you & what God has in store for you & this trip. I can see that He already has something planned, because He made sure you were to go! Reading your post – I remember so well the feelings you are feeling. I felt them the first time I went on a missions trip. (In fact I remember praying, in the airplane, on the way to Southeast Asia, asking God to reassure me that this was a good idea. . . !) It was – He knows. And, although it can be scary, being in the place where we must trust Him . . is the very best place to be. I will be praying for you & am so happy I found your blog. What a blessing! xo, Bren
Praying for you. My pastor just did a sermon on taking risks. When God asks us to take a risk, how can we say no?
What an great God we serve! Matthew 4:19-20 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him.
The blessing will be yours for your obedience of dropping your net to follow Him. No matter how many times I drop mine I have to be reminded that I’ve picked it up again or worse yet, picked up another one.
Thank you for the reminder today!
A friend shared this quote with us in Bible Study this morning, it will mean much to you right now. “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” We will be praying for you and what the Lord has for you as you serve Him!!!
Thank you! You spoke strait to my heart.
Out of Obedience flows such blessings! Can’t wait to hear the follow up!
praying for you all,
tammy
I’ll be praying for you and your trip!
Blessings,
Lori
I’m excited to follow your trip via bloggy world. Many blessings!
Just don’t forget to vote before you leave.
I don’t have the words to tell you, and I know you know, but you are so BLESSED to have a husband who 1. cares for you that much and 2. cares for you that much and 3. this should have been 1: cares for the Lord that much. I can’t tell you what a struggle it is to have that missing from your marriage. I know that you are going to touch some hearts on this trip.
Awesome! I just love this and love your heart, and I will definitely be praying for you!
Delurking to say… Psalm 139 is the verse my parents spoke over me as I took my first overseas missions trip to Japan many years ago. I did the same for my teenager girls this summer. Awesome, awesome…such peace for all of us, those at home and those away. I will be praying for all three of you!
In June 06 I stepped way out of my little tiny comfort zone and went on a mission trip to Mexico. I am beside myself with excitement waiting to hear how this trip moves you and changes you and makes you fall on your knees. Praying for all of y’all.
Bless you for your obedience! I’m soooo excited to follow you on your trip. And I’ll be praying specifically that your separation from Caroline will be easier than you ever imagined. Hugs!!
I am in tears reading your story. The one thing that I really love about you Melanie, even though I have never meet you, is that you share your beautiful heart with us. What an amazing God we serve! I am so excited to hear about this journey you are taking…the first Compassion blogging trip was when I sponsored my Compassion child and I cannot wait to read about your experience.
Prayers ascending for you daily.
That is such an amazing story. Very encouraging.
I can completely relate to your anxiety. I was just reading about how God has a perfect plan for us and we can choose to obey and live out that plan or we can choose to wander from it. He will still be with us if we wander (thank goodness!) but we will not receive the abundant blessing that He wants to give to us. I know that you are choosing to walk in His perfect plan. For that, you will receive His abundant blessing. A knock-your-socks-off kind of blessing.
Praying for you…
To make a long and involved story short. God called. I heard the call but hid. God hunted me down. I ran. In the end He won. (As if I had a chance.) Now I no longer teach Kindergarten in the super comfy wealthy suburbs of NJ, but instead I teach 4/5 in the ghetto of Los Angeles. It has been the scariest and most empowering gift of my life.
I look forward to reading of your adventures. It’s going to be amazing!
Honestly, I knew the answer, but I was scared. It is so outside my comfort zone.
That quote seems like it came from my mouth. Every time I’m afraid to venture out and do something new or something that I’m uncomfortable with I have that same feeling. If only I was wise enough as you were to listen more often! God bless you all on this trip!
Andi
What a fantastic story. I love hearing how God works and moves hearts. Thanks for sharing this!
Hi
my parents are over there (DR) right now on the Compassion conference and being hugely blessed by their time there. I know God will bless you and your family for your obedience.
Michelle
You have so many comments, I don’t know if you will ever get to this one but I went on a mission trip to Guatemala in July. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Here’s a link to my blog about the trip (includes planning for, recap of events while I was there & photos): http://www.missiontoguatemala.blogspot.com/
I know you will be blessed by this trip!!
Thought you might be interested in checking it out.
Going on a trip like this will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. You already know, in your head, the way that people suffer in different parts of the world, but it is COMPLETELY different when you see it… because then you will know in your HEART.
Hey! Wow, this is the first time I have visited your blog…found it from Travis Cottrell’s site. Crossing my fingers to get one of those CHristmas CDs. HA Anywho, I am a college student in Boone, NC (hello-where Travis grew up!) and this past year I went with some college kids on our Spring Break to the Dominican Republic. Just one week changed my life forever…the way I see everything now…it expanded my understanding and view of who God is, it exposed me to the truth about poverty, and it broke my heart for what I know breaks Gods heart. I fell in love with the country, with the people. Oh how I pray that you have a wonderful trip…I will be praying for you!! THe DR has a special place in my heart. I had never flown on a long airplane ride before, didnt know too much Spanish, had a lot of worries…but God reminded me that He is God and I am not and that I needed to trust in what He was doing…that in saying yes to go on the trip, I needed to let everything else go and allow Him to move and work, and not let my worries hinder that. Anywho, enjoy the trip!!!
I am curious, where are you going in the DR? One our trip, we visited a Compassion International site one day in San Pedro de Macoris, with some of the most beautiful children ever. When I came back, God laid it upon my heart to sponsor a child from that center we went to, so my friend and I just started doing that. The DR has an EXTREMELY huge place in my heart. If you check out my blog and look at March, you can even see pictures! But I know for a fact there are specific reasons GOd wants you on this trip.
Sorry for the longwinded-ness!
(If you ever hear that Shaun Groves or Compassion Intl need people to go on trips to the DR, I would so interested! I would drop anything to go back to those people!)
I can’t tell you how envious I am. 2005 I spent a couple of weeks in Jaracoba, D.R. It was wonderful. I haven’t done a missions trip since then due to …. a. I became a live liver donor in Dec 2005, then b. I had a left radical mastectomy (Breast Cancer) in August 2006. So I lost my wings for awhile. I am SO SO ready to travel again!!!! Maybe next summer. You will LOVE it! The Dominicans are sweet, lively, and welcoming!!!
The very best place to be is in the center of God’s will! I am SO excited for you. How fun to watch (read) all of the adventures God has been taking you on. Have an awesome adventure! Blessings & JOY!
I love that ‘wings of the morning’ verse….it has been a comfort each time I have traveled to adopt one of our children.
See you soon!
Mary
I love your story. I was called to travel to Costa Rica this summer on my first-ever mission trip, and I can tell you…you will experience God in a way that is so new and amazing…a way that is just not as easy to experience when you are in the coccoon of your daily life. It was my first time actually trusting Him and spending every minute of one whole week doing His will. It was beyond words. The hardest part is coming back and trying to hang on to that way of living out your faith! Best wishes!