For Caroline’s birthday this year, Gulley and her boys gave her a subscription to Zoobooks.
And this is where I have to confess that Caroline was originally not very excited about the gift because it wasn’t comprised of hot pink plastic parts and fake blonde hair. (I’m referring to Barbie dolls, not a cast member of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.)
I tried to explain to her what it was, but the words “magazine subscription” don’t really mean that much to a five-year-old.
As opposed to the words “Polly Pockets Super-Fabulous Mall of Cheap Parts Made in China!”
However, Gulley knows my girl and what she likes. The Zoobooks have become a huge favorite around here and Caroline can’t wait to get a new one in the mail. Once a new issue arrives, it becomes part of our bedtime ritual to read all about that month’s featured animal every single night.
Our most recent issue was about bats. I’ll be honest, I’ve never really been a fan of the bat.
I blame it on the movie “Love At First Bite” and the fact that even as a child I knew that George Hamilton was unnaturally tan. Oh, and that I was always told that bats carry rabies, which is pretty much a deal-breaker for any animal. Just ask Ol’ Yeller.
Anyway, night after night, we’ve read all about bats and, frankly, I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know. For instance, did you know that the smallest bat in the world is the size of a bumblebee? It’s true. And yet incredibly freaky.
A few nights ago, Caroline and I had the following conversation.
“Mama, why are the bats extinct?”
“Well, they’re not extinct. They’re just endangered. That means they are dying and there aren’t a whole lot left.”
“Why are they dying?”
“Well, the book says it’s because they are getting this white fungus on their wings from caves and it’s making them sick.”
“Yeah. Or maybe they’re dying because people are stabbing them in the wings with scissors.”
Oh my.
“Well, no. It’s because of the fungus.”
“Or maybe it’s because people are stabbing them with forks.”
“No, I don’t think people are stabbing them with anything.”
“Well, I think it is.”
I can’t believe I’m raising a bat enthusiast with a penchant for conspiracy theories.
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This is hilarious!! What is next month’s featured animal? I hope it isn’t some weird chicken because then they might be extinct because people are eating them! Then you might have a problem and a crusade to save the chickens on your hands.
Heehee. That made me smile this morning. I can’t wait to get to this stage with Seth.
A little more about bats…
Did you know that there are millions of bats that live in the bleachers at Kyle Field? I learned that this weekend. I knew there were bats….but millions? I think that I’ll stick with our portable bleachers at the south end.
Once my hubby was painting our upstairs windows and left them open all day… a bat flew in and started diving at me while I was on the couch that night.
What happened after that closely resembled a scene from “The Great Outdoors”.
Don’t tell Caroline but we may have contributed to bat extinction.
Sorry…
Our neighbors ordered Zoobooks for my family when we were growing up. They also ordered us Highlights every year at Christmas. What a wonderful present!
My dad loves to give our kids magazines for their birthdays, and they now LOVE to get them… it is such a treat when one comes in the mail. I have to confess that I also love my Newsweek and look forward to it every Tuesday!
Corey
Are you sure you aren’t letting that child watch the X Files re-runs?
I’m with Caroline, lets stab em! We had bats when we lived in SC and the locals said they helped keep the mosquitos away. I’ll take a ginormous mosquito any day.
We LOVE Zoobooks at our house! We just got our new issue over the weekend and it is camels… surely we’re not stabbing camels with scissors so you should be safe from conspiracy theories there!
LOL, she’s a FUNNY girl, sounds just like my 6 year old
Looks like someone has been watching the Sci-Fi channel. Maybe she can write for them.
I’m okay with the whole killing the bat thing. (is that mean?)
Emily just finished studying bats in her 2nd grade Target class at school (we’re new to this state, and they’re gifted program is called “Target”… I was pumped initially to think she’d be learning shopping strategies when I first heard of it. I was ready to sign up to chaperone the field trips!)
But anyway, they just spent 9 weeks studying bats. Then she had to build one. She loves them now. and calls them cute.
Thankfully, they’re on to owls for this next 9 weeks. Somewhat cuter to me.
I just laughed out loud at work and now I’m getting a weird look but oh my. That was funny. Where on earth did she get all the stabbing ideas???
I love this. Our pastor just illustrated his sermon yesterday with a story of bringing a dead bat home to his biology-inclined 5yo son.
I love my kids, but I think love does have its limits…
If she wants it, I believe she’ll have a job at Sierra Club someday. I’m pretty sure they think the bats are being stabbed with forks too.
I guess she wouldn’t want to hear about our household’s no-tolerance policy for bats, then.
We’ll be down in TX in the Spring touring a zillion zoos. Maybe you and Bat Girl could meet at whichever one is closest to you.
Tell Caroline that the bats near my house are alive and well. They don’t even have to worry about the fungus thing because they have found a way to sneak into my attic instead.
And we don’t stab them with knives or fork. We used to catch them with heavy blankets and humanely re-release them into the wild (our backyard) but now we don’t go near them. We just lead them outside with a flashlight.
The bats will be OK – at least in my little neighborhood. And my grandmother’s – that who we learned the flashlight trick from.
I grew up in a 3 story drafty house in Michigan and every fall we would have at least one bat get into the house. My mom was terrified of them and would make us go into a safe room and not come out until my dad had “set it free”. This did not include forks but he did use a tennis racket. Wish we would have known the flashlight trick!
How can bats possibly be endangered? I see them swooping all over downtown at dusk, dropping out of building eaves and emerging from under bridges. There practically the state bird. Well, state rodent. With wings. Either way, they’re disgusting.
Oh that Caroline.She is a funny girl!We had a bat get in our house over the summer.We were all downstairs and our cat was going crary upstairs.We have hardwood floors so we could hear her running around.And she was making these weird noises.Well a little while later my husband went upstairs and all of a sudden he comes running back down with his hands on top of his head!He’s a city boy.So then he tells me there is a bat in our daughters room!So we both went up and told the three year old to stay downstairs with the baby.Well my husband started swinging at it with a pair of jeans.He hit it and it started screaming.So then he told me to get an old towel and a hammer.I’ll let you figure out what happened next.The next day we found out you are supposed to release them back outside.Oopps.
This is hilarious! I think your Caroline would fit in perfectly around here, with my boys constantly (CONSTANTLY!) saying to each other, “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if _____? And then _____?!” (and fill in the blanks with totally implausible, outrageous outcomes). Especially if she keeps the nickname of Bat Girl given to her by a previous commenter…
Laugh Out Loud!!! And no, ‘LOL’ just wouldn’t suffice. Thanks for the giggles this morning.
When it warms up, you should totally take her up to Austin and let her see the bats come out from under the Congress Street bridge. She will love it.
There’s a “batline” you can call to get recorded information about what time the bats are “coming out”. Oh, yes there is.
Wow. That’s hilarious. Where do kids come up with these things?
Oh the dramatics! I love Caroline, she’s hilarious
Hahah! she’d get along just fine with my boys….and my lizard and snake loving girl, too for that matter.
~C
If you’re ever up near Austin, I highly recommend the Congress Ave Bridge bats. From March-Nov (best seen in the sweltering TX summer months of July & Aug), 3 million bats live under this bridge, and they come out to feed at dusk. She’ll love it, and you’ll be even more freaked out, because, seriously, you can’t see them under the bridge, and all of a sudden the sky is covered with them.
Sounds like fun, yes?
A bat story for you… hope it doesn’t get me banned from the Big Mama blog, but it makes the whole idea of stabbing them with forks somehow palpable…
http://afamiliarpath.blogspot.com/2008/11/natures-dark-side.html
I am of the opinion that the best conspiracy theories feature forks and scissors, as they are my two favorite implements.
Oooooo, at least she doesn’t want to take up impaling bats herself. Now THAT would be disturbing.
Okay, that was too funny. And since I know you live in Texas I just know you are gonna take that sweet baby girl of yours to Austin, TEXAS this summer to see the largest urban bat colony in the US. We made the trek from Florida. Your turn.
It could be even better. Our local children’s museum had a bad exhibit. So, my kids learned all kinds of bat info plus that they were beneficial to us by eating insects and pollinating flowers & fruit. So, they were convinced we needed a bat house to encourage bats to live around our house!
I mean a bat exhibit!!
I guess my feelings about the exhibit got the better of me! 
Thanks again for lifting my spirits! You have such a gift.
too cute!!!
So funny!
I never thought I’d be reading about bats in a blog…leave it to Big Mama and her fearless Caroline.
By-the-way, Tasha (another commentor), her story seriously cracked me up and I now have tears rolling down my cheeks! Thanks for a great laugh this Monday afternoon!
LOL! What a bat drama. You should take her to see the bats in Austin!
Well she makes a good point though. I mean, if people WERE stabbing them in the wings with scissors, you can imagine how quickly we’d run out of bats. Right?
Please tell me I’m not beginning to think like a five year old.
How have you stood it…night after night, looking at the nasty things! I’d be sharing my bed with two tiny brunettes, if I was reading bat articles, aloud, every night before bed! Fantastic for a laugh though!
We had bats in our patio umbrella this fall. I wish Caroline and her variety of sharp objects could have taken care of them.
We live in Okinawa and I can assure Caroline that there are many many bats out every night. Just as soon as it turns dark we see them start flying. I haven’t seen any stabbed in the wings with scissors but I did see one caught in the fence once.
Perhaps she’s right and they are being stabbed by forks/knives/something but the magazine is involved in the cover-up (of course) and has made up something about white stuff from caves. Yeah, as if white stuff from caves is going to do it. I’m with Caroline here.
Tania
Actually, I think she’s right (at least about being stabbed with forks, that is). It seems to me that I read that people on the island of Guam were killing and eating the giant fruit bats to the point that they had to import them in from other places because they had decimated the local bat population. Of course, then they found out that the bats carried something similar to SARS, so I think they’ve stopped now. But regardless, you can tell Caroline that she was right about the stabbing with forks part. Wonder what else she’s really been right about?
Ruh-roh, Raggie. Has she been talking to my husband? We are in no shortage of bats around here.
Oh my – do you know how much my husband has contributed to their endangeredness? We used to get bats in our old house, and he must have killed at least 10 or 15 in the five years we’ve been married. Weapons included a steak knife (it was thrown away, believe me), a brick, a racquetball racket, a can of raid, and probably a few other things thrown in there.
He never used a fork, but that’s an interesting idea. I wonder if it would have worked.
I’m so happy that we’ve moved on to a house without bats!
oh my… I’m almost crying. That little girl of yours is so funny! And the acupuncture story! Thank you so much for sharing. : )
Y’all need to go over to Austin to see the bat colony! It’s amazing! Of course, then she won’t think they are becoming extinct.
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