I feel that I owe an apology to the fine Genius staff at my local Apple store because they called me at 5:30 on Monday evening to let me know my computer was ready. Sadly, I wasn’t able to retrieve the computer that night and instead spent the evening playing board games and reading fine literature whilst I knitted an afghan.
Actually, that’s not quite true. I ate dinner with P, read “Style: A to Zoe” by Rachel Zoe, and then went to bed at the unprecedented hour of 10:00 p.m. after remembering for the 874th time that I couldn’t check email. Apparently, I have what some might call an addiction to the computer.
On the upside, I have never been more rested.
I was waiting outside the Apple store at 10:00 a.m. yesterday morning to retrieve my dear friend. The Genius handed it over to me and asked if I wanted to take a look because it was “GORGEOUS”, which seemed like excessive flattery for a computer until I opened the case and saw it for myself.
IT IS GORGEOUS.
Completely crack-free. And here is where I want to make a joke about the war on drugs but will refrain in the interest of good taste.
There was one scary moment when they handed me a bill for $254.00 for the keyboard replacement and I was all “Umm? I thought it was covered by the warranty. And if it’s not covered then we need to go find my old keyboard TOOT SUITE or I will have to explain to my child why all Santa brought this Christmas was a new keyboard for Mommy.”
They explained that it was completely free of charge, but they print out the bill for accounting purposes and to see if they can give women who mock the Geniuses on their blogs a myocardial infarction.
I rushed home with computer in hand and immediately began to catch up on very important things like Twitter and searching for the best price on an Elf On the Shelf. But all those things were merely a procrastination device compared to the real issue at hand.
Christmas cards.
I have spent countless hours of my life that I will never get back perusing my Christmas card options. It’s bordering on obsessive.
Who am I kidding? It is totally obsessive.
My dear friend AJ came over to take pictures of Caroline the day before Thanksgiving. And let me explain that AJ had just had foot surgery days before and was in a big, black boot. But since I have no shame, I let her hobble around and take photos of my child.
She emailed me a link to the photos a few days later and I’m sure thought her job was done, especially because her compensation basically involves free M&M’s, Sour Patch Kids, and advice about life which may or may not be helpful or wanted.
But, oh no. No way am I that low maintenance.
“Can I see #12 in black and white? How about #14 if we crop out the table? Do you like 5, 10, 16, 20, 26, or 31 the best? How about in black and white? Am I being a pain? Did I mention all the free M&M’s? Oh, and how’s your foot feeling after the major surgery that involved sawing off 4 millimeters of your toe?”
The good news is I finally have it narrowed down to two pictures. However, I can’t commit to a card design or the wording I want and have I mentioned this is a lot of obsessing and worrying over a piece of paper that folks will look at for 2.8 seconds and then shove in a basket?
I believe I’ve done lost my reason for the season perspective.
Yesterday afternoon, I forced P into my web of madness and he was more than helpful with his “I don’t know. I think it’s six one, half dozen the other” before he stabbed his eyeballs out with a fork. Clearly he doesn’t realize this is our chance to make an impact for 2.8 seconds of someone’s life.
He actually suggested that I put my options up so that y’all could help me decide, which is a clever trick known as passing the buck. However, the majority of people I send cards to happen to read the blog, so at that point I might as well scrap the whole thing, save myself the postage, and just post the card here.
Which, if I don’t hurry up and make a decision, may end up being my only option.
Merry Christmas from the Heartless, Impersonal Age of Technology.
It has a nice ring to it.
One final note. I attempted to title this post “Reunited and it feels so good”, but the memory feature in Wordpress let me know that I have already used that title at some point. Obviously, I can’t underestimate the effect Peaches ‘N Herb had on my childhood.
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Will you please post some of the pictures of Caroline after Christmas so the Internets can see them? I’m sure they are all beautiful!
I have opted for cards found at the dollar rack of Target this year. 8 cards for a dollar.
And they play the part of the very cute card thing well. I’ll slap a black and white photo onto their red surface and call it a day.
Now, about the elf thing.
I have literally almost had an infarction thing over the parents in my Brooke’s class being in the mood to shoot me and my life tradition.
It is a Merry Christmas!
I’m so happy for you that you have been reunitied with your laptop.
I have the same problem with cards every year. My stepdaughter wants to get some professional photos done of our family for our first Christmas Card together as a family. Procratination is my middle name.
Note to self: NEVER read Big Mama’s blog while drinking morning coffee, or I might need a new keyboard!
Glad you’ve got your computer back!
We just met our Elf on the Shelf (named him Houston), and my kids are LOVING him. From what I’ve read about your Caroline, she’d be WAY into him, too.
Don’t you miss the good ol’ days when you’d pick up a pack of 20 cards with a Teddy Bear wearing a Santa hat and a “Merry Christmas…May Your Season Be Bright” on the front? Then, if you’d remembered to have the pictures from your Vivitar printed, you’d choose the best of the 17 out of 24 that actually turned out, take the negatives in, and request a reprint. If they got the right one reprinted from the little negative, you could slip your picture in your Teddy Bear card before mailing. Life was so easy then. Blast you, technology!
I so understand about the Christmas card thing. I too, am a bit OCD or anal or whatever else you call this condition about my Christmas cards. It is a painstaking process. But I enjoy it. Would love to see the pic after you send your cards out. Happy Wednesday!! =0)
Welcome back! And where was the best price for Elf On the Shelf?
Should we start a “Addicted to the Internet Annonymous” support group? Because my husband says I fall in that cattegory but I, of couse I deny it! I tell him it’s my way of “meeting a friend for coffee” everytime I log on. It’s my only time of having adult interaction whily my 16 month old is napping. Can I hear an Amen?
Your dilemma is exactly why we have never done a family Christmas card photo. Should the photo be portrait or landscape? Is sepia better than black and white? Should we all be in matching clothes if we do a color picture? Should it look wintery outside?
We have taken so long on it before that we might as well send them out as valentines.
I’m jealous–I have to chase my own kids around and snap photos with them whining to stop. I think I’ll look into finding a friend–been really busy the last so many years.
Angela
ps. Love this blog!!
Thanks for reminding me that I want to look into getting an Apple computer.
Options, at some point, are going to be what makes my brain explode. I am currently doing exactly what you are doing, but with choices in vehicles. I can’t just go get a basic economical vehicle. No. I must have as many options as I can afford. And I will consider those I can’t.
Yes, what WAS the best price for the Elf? At the prices I have seen he had better do more than sit on a shelf!!!!
Well, it’s true – being reunited does feel so good.
I’m obsessing over Christmas card design and wording, too. Because really, we’re talking about the item that people will place on their refrigerator and stare at for the next 365 days! The item that’s supposed to represent our family and everything we stand for and mean to our friends and family! And…oh, what? It’s just supposed to wish them Merry Christmas? Huh.
Good luck to you with your cards.
I am kind of a Christmas Card snob. It must be of the best quality and the best picture!
I spent over $300 last year. Plain stupid. I vowed that I would not do this again.
Using a picture from summer vacay that my husband insisted on using. It’s an awful picture.
So after 5 hours of looking at designs, then deciding to design my own…I ended up ordering from Walgreens for $50!
Design is okay best of all they were ready within an hour and I’ll have them ready for a Christmas Card Party on Sunday!!! Woohoo
I feel your pain. I found this blog yesterday, and used her coupon codes to get 30 photo cards for $0.48 from Kodak. With the economy the way it is, I was willing to try this in lieu of spending $40 on something that will inevitably land in the trash can about 10 seconds after opening
http://moneysavingmethods.blogspot.com/2008/12/30-free-holiday-photo-cards-hurry.html
So happy you have your computer back. We couldn’t live without it.
A few weeks ago you posted a link to Kris-10’s Creations. Well, I went on over there and found her beautiful Christmas cards. I ordered six boxes a few days ago and am excitedly awaiting their arrival. All of that to say, thanks to you and your link, I had a very easy time picking cards this year. Oh the irony, right?:) Good luck!!
I’m expecting our Christmas pictures to arrive on a CD today in the mail. I’m dying! If they don’t come today it might be a hormonally crazed evening. Shudder. While I’m waiting, every discount email I get from Tiny Prints nearly gives me a panic attack!
You are a crazy woman, really funny, but crazy.
I totally feel you. This was my first year to send Christmas Card’s and it was pretty much the highlight of my year. It took me a good week to decide on a picture and card but I did it! Do you choose your card design through a website online?? There are a million to choose from!
I feel your pain. I was trying to make the holiday photo card decision. My problem is I still need to get a picture of my kids. I have no idea when that is going to happen. And, be glad P doesn’t take an interest in the holiday crds. My dh is complaining about the cards getting done and providing no help at all.
You are too funny! I can get so overwhelmed with those kinds of decisions too…why is it so hard to just pick one? I don’t know.
Mention the words “Christmas Photo” to my husband and he will start twitching. He hates the thought of Christmas photos and don’t even ask him to choose one. Of course, this is the same man who whined about his hair with the one I did choose. Caroline is so cute, I bet all the pictures are cute.
I am so glad you have your computer back…the bill thing was hysterical!!!
Ah, Melanie, another gem of a post!
Thanks for my mid-morning laugh!
AND I so “feel your pain” on the Christmas card choosing! It’s an awful burden, isn’t it?
You’re lucky, though, that P decided to pass the buck.
My hubby helps by dressing my son in a green, blue and white striped John Deere shirt with red and green plaid pajama pants and sits him in his wheelchair by the tree.
Yeah…who NEEDS that kind of help???
So, count your blessings when you can (Yay Nerd Herd! Um, I mean Geniuses!) and get busy with that gingerbread!
Blessings on your day!
Alesha
My goodness… What is an elf on the shelf?
Love that you used the technical term for heart attack!
Please post the two pictures for us to see. Mama Diane
I have been lurking on your blog for awhile and love it. I can’t count the number of times you have had me laughing out loud.
I feel your pain on the Christmas cards. I spent weeks picking out pictures and designing my card on Shutterfly. But don’t just assume no one really looks at them. I have heard from people that we haven’t talked to in ages that called just to say how much they loved it!
Now I’ll have that song in my head all day. Ahhh, good memories. How old was I way back then?? Ummm…just a little older than you, I guess.
Yes, please go ahead and post some of the pics of Caroline! If you go with some “rejects” (which, I’m sure, are totally adorable) then at least you won’t be unvealing your Christmas card!
i also suffer from card mania. so much so that we take our pictures 2 weeks BEFORE thanksgiving so that i can get them out the first week of Dec. behind a bit.
but thanks to you i am now singing reunited for the rest of the day. possibly the rest of the week.
Christmas cards are going to drive me to drink regularly this year. STRESSED!!!
Speaking of crack, I had the shakes this morning as my internet connection was down for like 8 hours between last night and this morning.
And I’m digging your Christmas “do” here. Very nice.
Donna
I have a friend selling “elf on a shelf”. I could leave it at your granny’s home if you are coming this way again real soon. Hehehehe
Too funny! I love how you express your thoughts. Thank God for the Geniuses!
We need an update on the ugly christmas sweater contest.And does anyone know what has happend to antique mommy?
You are effin’ hilarious. LOVE IT.
My friend has been telling me to check out your blog for over a year and now I see why. Love it! I also obsess over Christmas cards, though not so much over the pictures as over the card itself. I’m always looking for the prettiest, most quaint ones I can find that I can actually afford. Then, I have to decide who gets the good ones (the really
“special” people) and who gets the Dollar General cards (usually those I know will not send me one).
Have I ever told you that you crack me up? Elf on the shelf is a darling tradition but guess what…we are going to start it next year!?! (unless you find us a great deal!)
You are so funny. Beginning to end I was laughing out loud.
My daghter got sooooo caught-up in making this decision last year that we ended up receiving “Happy New Year” cards with her children’s photo on them…..
Big Mama, you crack me up! Today’s post was just what I needed. Simply the fact that it is 9 -something pm and I have just now been able to read your post speaks for itself. I won’t even mention all the things I’ve been doing today like a chicken w/o a head. Also have been snapping pictures for potential Christmas card inserts… hoping that I can find the boxes of cards I purchased last year after Christmas. Now after bathing and tucking in 2 kiddos, in walks Hubs, right in time to find me “doing nothing” in the dark with the computer! : }
Carol in NC
I can soooooo relate on the picking a Christmas photo, card design, and wording!! Those are hours I’ll never have back! I also had a friend take our photo but we paid her. The problem is she is now 39 weeks pregnant and I still keep bugging her.
I agree about the Christmas cards! They can almost suck the holiday spirit out of ya!
Glad you got it back and good luck on picking your cards.
yeah, i’m dragging my feet tonight at addressing my envelopes. and i feel you about the cards! i am the same way.
Trying to spread the word about my new blog … Come visit me at lagringabilingua.blogspot.com!
I had to leave my Mac off in October as it would not turn on at all. You’re lucky you got yours back so quickly – it was TWO WEEKS before I got “my PRECIOUSSSSS” back as part after part had to be ordered and tested. By the time I got it back, they claimed I had a new computer inside the old casing.
I got my cards through Apple – did them on iPhoto with their templates and then just uploaded them. They were uploaded Monday and shipped today – I should have them Friday. And I was able to use 13 different photos so you could use a template using both of your choices.
Happy Mac-ing.
I love you, I just really do. Thank you for being you.
Yea, I opted for cold, impersonal technology ages ago. And I’ve been forgiven. I’m sure you would be, too.
LOL about the Christmas card story! You are not alone in your search for the perfect card, picture and wording. I spend a lot of time trying to find the “perfect” one. Though I value my husband’s opinion in most cases, I don’t feel he is savvy about all the stationary options (because he refuses to sit in a chair for hours/days looking at all the choices)and he is picky about the greeting (too flowery, too cheesy, too wordy)-nor does he get excited when the final product is complete! I encourage you to keep looking until you are completely satisfied-because some of us do appreciate your efforts!
I love Rachel Zoe. I would totally wear one of those furry vests and that gigantic leopard ring of hers.
May be out of place in rural Alabama but whatever.
I am totally with you on the whole obsession with the perfect card! The hard part is getting hubby to sit for a picture! We like do the whole family. You are just fine sister!
Becky
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