Last November when I went to the Dominican Republic with Compassion International, I brought home a few souvenirs for my peeps. Specifically, I brought Caroline a necklace that is made out of some kind of magnetic hematite (totally just made that up) or something. I knew she would love it because you can wear it as a necklace or wrap it around your wrist about ten times and make a bracelet. Of course neither of these options thrill her as much as the fact that you can throw it against something metal and it sticks.
All the seasoned Dominican Republic travelers told me that I should definitely buy some coffee and vanilla extract to take home and so I did because I love them all and highly valued their opinion. I bought one very large bottle of vanilla for myself and two small bags of Dominican coffee for P.
Here is where I need to tell you that P is very particular about his coffee, which is why I only bought two small bags. I cannot even express the various coffees we have purchased in his quest for caffeinated perfection over eleven years of marriage, including one unfortunate incident that got us enrolled in Boca Java’s Connoisseur Club.
We began receiving approximately six pounds of coffee every month from Boca Java, which is a little excessive, especially considering that I rarely even drink coffee at home. Apparently the Boca Java Connoisseur Club is kind of like the Mafia because once we were in, it was almost impossible to get us out.
I seriously thought I was going to have to cancel our credit card just to stop the coffee from showing up on our doorstep, but finally got a representative on the phone who let me stop our coffee deliveries after I explained that P’s doctor had told him to limit his caffeine intake. And by “doctor”, I mean me.
Technically, since I was a pharmaceutical rep for ten years, I’m kind of like a doctor except for the fact that I never attended any kind of medical school and really know just enough about prescription drugs to be dangerous.
Anyway, I returned home from the Dominican and presented P with his two small bags of Dominican coffee. He seemed skeptical but agreed to give them a whirl.
The next morning he made (brewed? is that better coffee terminology?) his first pot. He was in love. I seriously thought he might need a moment alone with his coffee. Perhaps he and his Dominican coffee might want to get a room.
Those two small bags were depleted very quickly, but I discovered that you can order it online. That’s a total score because you can’t order Dominican Vanilla Extract online because of some kind of FDA regulations. That should probably concern me but, YUM YUM, it makes my baked goods taste muy, muy delicioso.
So I mentioned to P that we could order the coffee online and that I’d get around to it at some point. Then I forgot all about it. Until this showed up on our doorstep last week.
Anyone who remembers the post about P and his carwash supplies should not be surprised by that photo. He is a firm believer in the philosophy of “If one is good, then a hundred is better”.
Needless to say I probably won’t be making too many trips to Starbucks in the near future.
**Edited to add that for those of you who are interested, you can purchase the coffee here.
Boomama, you are the Erma Bombeck of your generation. Where is your book deal?
Actually, you’re BigMama, aren’t you?
So, your going to do a giveaway and “steal” one bag away from your dear hubby and give to me right????? Hehehehe….
Ahh yes the quest for coffee perfection, it is a quest i live on…
Totally hilarious!
I LOVE Coffee…but not as much as P.
Each time that you link back to the car wash supply post, I have to look at the picture. It always makes me smile!!
My husband does the same. In fact, I call Hubs the “Kind of Over Do.” While yes, I think that we can make a crown for your husband. Tell him welcome to the club. Meeting next Monday. 6 sharp. NE Ohio. He’s on the list to bring coffee.
Now hear this. I didn’t know it until I saw good ole Alton Brown on Good Eats do a special on vanilla. The reason you can’t buy that vanilla is because it has carcenogens in it. My parents went to Mexico and brought back lots of HUGE bottles of that vanilla because it was so cheap. I didn’t like it so much because it had a cinnamony flavor to it. But I did use that huge bottle over the course of a year or two. Just FYI.
My dad went on vacation to the Dominican and brought back that same coffee!!! I was in heaven! It is extremely delicious and he brought back more when he went the year after! I’ll have to second the box of coffee your hubby had delivered! At least you know it won’t go to waste!
Now I’m off to find it online as well! Dad’s not going to the Dominican this year
This is too funny! BTW, how was the coffee? Did you try it yet?
Perhaps P should heed the words of the wise sage Mary Poppins:
“Enough is as good as a feast.”
I read this and just chuckled because when my husband arrived home last night he had a package to open. It was from a candy company and he, like your husband, orders 100 when he wants 1. SO, we have a CASE of big smartie rolls and two CASES of chewy atmomic fireballs. The best part, my man is diabetic! LOL So, I understand the extreme ordering of husbands.
I am coming over to have a cup. I will look for Uncle Eddie’s RV and know that you are near. I am kidding. I live 6 states away (or something like that, I am bad at geography).
But you were starting to get nervous, weren’t you.
P is a good man who understand the delicate nature of good coffee. My hubby can’t understand why I get all frantic when we are close to being out.
Except that we are not allowed to get below a 4 Pepsi minimum.
I may have overshared. Sorry.
Ok, so next time we come by your blog is it going to read “DR. Big Mama??? LOL!!!
You’re in coffee heaven, looks like to me.
Suzanne
My husband is a coffee fan too. He’s gone into roasting his own coffee beans… which is actually so much cheaper and quite easy with an old popcorn popper! And it is delicious.
Been reading your blog for a couple months now. You are a great writer. Always making me laugh!
I can so relate to the search for coffee perfection. My husband is the same way, would rather have no coffee at all than just ok coffee (& I don’t drink it at all).
Enjoy!
Too Funny. A hundred is ALWAYS better than 1!!!
Totally hilarious!
my hubbys family is from there and boy dothey love a good cup od joe lol.
its strong but with soem sugar and milk ahh it is just rioght.
enjoy
We are not coffee drinkers, but my father-in-law is a different story. We brought him a small bag of Kona coffee when we went on vacation in Oct. Apparently, we did a bad thing in only bringing home a small bag. But we figured why by lots if we don’t know if he would even like it? He liked it. Alot.
Sounds delish, will you post the address where we might indulge in some coffee crack? Or, would he like to donate a bag to a non-morning person for the good of the world?
It’s weird, I don’t like the taste of coffee but I love the smell. Whenever I travel I always brew coffee in my hotel room and then just dump it out because it makes me feel more at home. So, I was just wondering does that fancy coffee smell better?
Mel, of all people you need to understand that finding just the right type of coffee is like you finding just the right shade of lipgloss…or blush…or shoes…or jeans…or XYZ. When you do, you buy in bulk.
You go ahead and give him this logical explanation next time you go to Sephora and The Rack.
You’re welcome
Just another reason why I love the internet! I know the Lord made me for a time like this—when the world wide web was in full swing!
That just looks heavenly! (I bet your kitchen smells incredible when that is brewing!)
My husband joined one of the coffee clubs just to get the free coffee pot. We ended up with more coffee in the pantry than food.
Where online do you buy this nectar? Can you share the address?
Oh my goodness, I just laughed out loud! And then cried a little, remembering that we used up the last of our American coffee this morning. I doubt that Chinese coffee has the same special power as Dominican coffee …
BTW, I just joined a Bible study here that is also doing the Esther study, so I’ll be following along with you at All Access!
That is my kind of box…my kind of coffee…my kind of happy!!!
Ha ha – I can relate about the coffee and the husband and the “medical rep” training that makes one a doctor. For years I copied insurance cards and handed out bottles of barium to patients. So of course I’m qualified to give medical advice to anyone.
Enjoy your blog everyday – have a good one!
Just be sure they don’t try to pass off Cubans for Dominicans. LOL
We’re talking about coffee, right?
Oh, my goodness. That is hilarious. Do you have a chest freezer? If you freeze it, it might stay fresh longer.
My husband buys pepperoncini peppers and ketchup by the gallon jar, so he won’t run out, so I understand.
Again- made me laugh outloud! Too funny!
I cannot remember if it was Venezuela or DR or Costa Rica, but one of those places I went we had a fabulous coffee brewed with milk (cafe con leche)…would not suit a “black” coffee drinker, if P. is one, but it is incredible…pallet comforting, and almost life changing. Look into it here.
http://icuban.com/food/cafe_cubano.html
My husband went to Sam’s for tires and I can’t tell you how long it took us to consume the raisins he brought home. We helped fund a ]bust] project while living overseas and I like to say now that we own a genuine vintage collective farm Soviet tractor. My sole consolation is that perhaps some villager is actually using it whereas 50% of our investments here went south.
My Dad who is the quintessential coffee snob(drinks it black…no cream, sugar, or lovely hazelnut flavor…it messes with the true essence of the coffee)swears by Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. It costs $50 a pound at Barnie’s so Dad only gets a pound for his birthday and Christmas.
Considering P’s compulsive purchasing problems you probably wouldn’t want to see 10 pounds of that coffee showing up on your doorstep. But maybe you could use this little gem of coffee knowledge as a trade for some True Religion jeans or Caudalie moisturizer.
Thanks for brightening my morning, just read the other post about when you washed the car…so funny!!!
So basically you are saying that you are not a doctor, but you play one on TV? Hee hee!
I think Chris and P are peas in a pod. Is P from East Texas, too?? I think they must be related for we are never going to run out of oil for our cars.
That sounds like a coffee I need to try. Any chance P would be willing to share one of those bags? Or maybe let you give one away on the blog?
Oh P is so much like my hubby in this respect. The Professor actually has an 8 second grinding rule for his beans.
When I went to Puerto Rico a few years back I bought one of those bracelet/necklace things. I thought it was so great and everyone around me told me to buy it. I think I wore it 2 times, one of those was the way home. Anyways, I had forgot all about it until your post. Thanks for reminding me. Love your blog!!
Jamie
That’s a lot of coffee. Maybe a years supply?
I can actually totally relate with P here. I love my coffee and it’s hard to find the good stuff. In fact I’m getting ready to google his coffee and I might just place an order myself.
He is serious about his stock huh? Hilarious!
I know you realize this but can’t help but think, thank goodness it is car washing supplies and coffee, it could be booze and pornography!
Maybe the Caffeine will give him a big boost and he will finish painting your back building for you! I bet your house smells yummy when that coffee is brewing!
LOVE the title of this post! You crack me up!!!
I’m with P on this one. I personally have what my husband calls my sushi face when I have my first bite of sushi – eyes closed, eyeballs rolled to the back of my head, and a deep sigh escaping past the sushi goodness. I actually had a friend blush and ask me if I needed a moment alone after witnessing the sushi face. People that don’t understand the intense pleasure that a food item can give are probably the same people that stop eating when they’re full, a thought totally alien to me.
As for coffee, you should try Puerto Rican coffee if you get a chance. My fave. But in Puerto Rico we like a little bit of coffee with our milk, so it’s a different experience altogether.
Link, please. It has been 15 years since my last trip to the Dominican Republic and one of the things that I mourn is the lack of DR coffee!!! I’ve been trying to convince my dh that it would make the perfect vacation, but he keeps wanting to go to places like Disney with the children. Pshaw! can you believe that? So, link to order, purty please. (I guess I could just go google it, huh?
Oh, and vary sad we can’t order the vanilla. The first trip I made I only brought back one bottle. Oh, the violence that occured in my family. The next trip, I left all my clothes behind and came back with coffee and vanilla
Heck — in my house I’d just be impressed that my husband actually took the initiative to order something for himself.
I really believe Sam’s was invented with men like P and my husband in mind. Buying in bulk is a bizarre shopper’s high for men like that.
He loves to gaze at his bulk purchases lined up like soldiers in the cabinets. Among the items in our pantry, 24 toothpaste refills and 40 bottles of lotion. Don’t even get me started on duct tape, WD 40 or fishing lures.
We are heading to the D.R. in May and I too am a coffee snob. I will have to pick some up while I’m there and give it a whirl. If you’re truly Jones-ing for some more vanilla I will be more than happy to pick some up for you, just let me know.
***I was given an award today and I’m sharing it with you. Please visit my blog to “pick it up”!***
Hmm …. don’t worry, the whirring noise is temporary. P will eventually quiet down after the coffee on crack wears off. Oh sweet South American coffee.
Okay, we are going to DR in three weeks,
and I am going to buy some. Can you buy it anywhere…?
I feel your pain with the excessive coffee thing. My hubby actually bought a home roaster and now buys green coffee beans and roasts them fresh weekly (which I really enjoy!). He has been doing that for about a year, so now he’s moved on to espresso and the quest for “the perfect shot.” I have two espresso machines in my kitchen right now and the bottom of my pantry is full of coffee related stuff. Hopefully P doesn’t take it this far. Good luck!
I’m curious as to whether P has ever had Gevalia…I too am a coffee snob and have had a sordid romance going on with Gevalia for a couple of years now…I’ve tried to break it off but it keeps showing up at my door, during the day when my husbands at work, looking all alone and cold outside, so I let it back in everytime!
I would love to know how the two compare.
A few years ago, I went out with some girlfriends to a place in the city that serves gourmet desserts. I mean – over the top. I ordered a chocolate cake thingy and actually shed tears at the table while eating it. It was that good.
Someone took a picture of me crying becuase they thought it was hillarious. And then everyone wanted to try that cake.
I can sympathized with the husband and excess… if I send mine to the store for, say, hamburger meat because we are fixing burgers and are having two guests, he would come home with enought meat for 10 guests…
he also thinks this applies to medicine though… when we were dating there was an unfortunate Alieve incident where I thought we would be in the ER… you know, they were small and if one is good, 6 must be just right….
wish I was sharing your coffee…sounds good.
Can I come over?
Or would it just be easier to ship me some in Morocco, where the coffee, to put it gently, sucks?
I kid. Enjoy!
mmm, wish i has some of that vanilla! None better. Anywhere.
Okay, so would it ruin it for you if I told you that on our trip to the DR last January, we took a tour of the local area. And went to a coffee plantation. Where the coffee beans were laid out and drying in the sun. With an entire flock (herd, gaggle?) of chickens merrily picking their way through, eating various bugs and leaving lovely authentic fertilizer on the beans (which probably didn’t need fertilizing since they were finished growing.) But, you tell P. to enjoy that coffee. I think maybe that little bit of extra *stuff* might just be the difference that he loves? Muh ha ha ha.
Hahahaha!!!
When you run out in a few years and need more Dominican coffee, you can order more reasonable quantities from Dominican Joe’s in Austin. They’re online, and all the money goes to benefit Makarios Ministries, which helps the children of Haitian refugees in the D.R.
That is so funny. I was cracking up when I saw all of them in that box.
In other non coffee related comments, I just realized I never commented on Gulley making that meal for that new mom. I’ve decided when we have another, I want Gulley to come to our house. I’ll pay for the mileage and all.
i am always in search of the perfect cup of coffee…where did you order this? i may try it myself
Well, I like P. love a good cup of joe. I buy regularly the good old Folger’s, but, for a day out on the town I like a Starbuck’s. I understand his obsession! I can’t see how anyone would not like coffee. I used to wonder how my mom and dad could sit and drink coffee all the time year round, now I have turned into them….
you crack me up!! love how you’re a doctor but not really
you need to profit off your humor, seriously girl. You have that special talent of writing what I think is funny but just can’t express … you do it perfectly!
Mmmm…I might have to order me some. A couple of years ago my brother-in-law hooked me up with some Columbian coffee from a DEA connection, and boy-howdy that stuff could put hair on your chest. I don’t particularly want hair on my chest, but it was tasty, so I miss it anyway.
Love the blog!
We got into the Gevalia Mafia a few years ago. Luckily we knew a guy….
I like to drink it, but I’m coffee-illiterate.
My dad brought me vanilla from Mexico last year though, and I about cried when I used the last drop.
Dear heavens, that is a lot of coffee!
So, does the Dominican make a good hot cocoa? Because that is something I may be interested in…
This was too funny! I remember the post about the car washing supplies and I was laughing before I got past the picture.
I Love coffee too. I may just have to order me some. I have a cousin in Columbia and I really want her to bring me some coffee and she probably will if I give her some money.
We are pretty loyal to Ethiopian coffee around here– green beans that we roast ourselves in the popcorn popper. But what I wished I’d bought more of is that VANILLA. It is wonderful stuff! I wonder if I can order that online….
Mary, fellow shopper-in-the-DR
I had no idea so many MEN had a thing about brewing the perfect cup of coffee!
With that in mind, I’m a little embarrassed to confess that I too have timed the grinding process, as well as counted the seconds after the boiling point was reached, before pouring the water over the grounds.
Yeah, it was precise and something of a pain…but it was perfect every day!
Now, however, I have moved on to the European process: I bought a Senseo.
I love it. It is my friend. We share our special secrets with each other. If it ever gets sick and dies, I will be very sad.
That being said, please, whatever you do, DON’T put the coffee in the freezer. Freezing will dry it out, and it won’t taste as good. Store it in a dark, dry place. And, drink it soon. It will grow stale even in the sealed bags.
Um…excuse me…I think I hear Senseo calling my name…it might be important…I need to run!
Alesha
That is hysterical!
You have such a fun blog here! I love celebrating family, food, fun and friends! Please stop by and say hello!
Before I even read your comment, I had this thought….”just like the car cleaning supplies!”
I guess when you find something you like, you might as well stock up. Let’s just hope he doesn’t order one of those one size fits all snugglie blanket things!!!
Ummm,I just want to say that you are the funniest person I have never met.I seriously can’t remember what my life was like before I discovered you.Because I have been reading for almost two years now and that is a long time.
I love hearing about P and his need to stock up on things. My grandmother was the same way, and I find myself doing the same thing! Do you think it’s a generational thing? If so, Caroline better watch out!!!
Dr. Big Mama: She know about all kinds of medicines.
this is soooo funny, cuz just last night I listened to your poscast with “boomama” where you were talking about getting P his coffee! I laughed through this whole post! Thanks for giving me something to laugh about today!
Don’t coffee and car wash supplies have different shelf lives??
Hey, I have some of that coffee! My daughter’s college roommate is teaching in the DR this year and she brought us some at Christmas time. I’ll have to put in an order for some more when she comes home this summer! And, yes, it is yummy!
If he drinks all that coffee, he should have enough energy to finish painting the back house for you! After all, you introduced it to him in the first place. My adult son feels that way about Dunkin Doughnuts coffee. I drink coffee, but honestly? I can’t tell the difference – I buy whatever’s on sale. It all tastes like coffee to me. Its all that cool vanilla and irish cream and chocolate flavored creamer that makes it worthwhile!
I think your new response to such things should from now on be “SHAMWOW!”
I buy stuff in quantity like that but came by it honestly (not that P doesn’t – just a phrase) as we lived overseas for 20 years and I got used to buying in bulk to put in our shipment the first 10 years when American commercialism hadn’t yet taken over the world – back when there weren’t any Starbucks on any corners of any foreign locations and we waited on baited breath for a MCDONALD’S to open in Stavanger, Norway. So bulk it was.
You should have seen the expression the face of the poor lady who checked me out when I got my “feminine products” for a year, after having had three children….it was a mixture of disbelief followed by sympathy.
I followed your link as I had thought, ah ha! Valentine’s Day gift shopping is done! My sweet hubby feels the same way about coffee as yours. Really. It’s a sickness, I swear it is. However, two bags of coffee 12.00. Shipping … $12.95. Ridiculous. So, being the nice friendly person I am, I filled out their little comment email and sent it to them. With an oh-so helpful hint of FREE shipping boxes from USPS and flat rate prices. Not that I think it will help. When the shipping costs more than the product, there is a problem. But then, I have issues.
Thanks for the tip on the coffee. I hope they change their shipping rates as I really really want to order that coffee. I bookmarked their site. Yep, the eternal optimist!
Cheers, Kiy
My pastor and his wife got my totally hooked on the coffee! I went 33 years without a drop and WHAM! just like that…hooked.
It’s crazy.
I might have to order some of that for them for their anniversary or something!
He sounds just like my husband! I believe he grew up in the depression. I sent him to the store with the grocery list and he literally bought 2 or more of everything. They weren’t on sale…he just thought it would be good to keep all those things on hand. Guys….gotta love ‘em!
this is such an old post i don’t know if you’ll ever se my comment, but if you haven’t found the perfect coffee, go get some “peet’s”. it is the best!! i am very picky about my coffee. peet’s is my dream. it’s out of berkeley, which also happens to be my hometown, but i’d love it anyway. you can buy it at the market in the coffee section. comes in a little brown bag. enjoy.
–mari