When I was at my Nanny’s house last summer, I found this old picture in one of her many photo albums. She has a million albums filled with all kinds of pictures of my childhood, but this one is such a piece of life as I remember it back then.
My Papa is the cigar-smoking barbecue chef in the picture. I can’t remember if that was a gas grill or not, but clearly safety and proper hygienic food preparations weren’t on the top of the priority list.
In the background is my Big Bob wearing his trademark gold jumpsuit with a pipe in his mouth, and sitting on the table is my great Uncle Bo who was the skinniest person I have ever met. He was also a Cajun who married into our Italian family and made the best gumbo in the world.
All three of them are gone now. They’ve been gone for a long time.
It’s funny how you can miss something that you didn’t even pay much attention to in the moment it existed. The three of them were just always there, presiding over the barbecue pit while the women stayed in the house and gossiped.
I don’t know when Papa built that little barbecue Taj Mahal, but I can’t remember a time that it wasn’t in his backyard. Every now and then he would update it with some new Astroturf on the floor or bring in an additional table, but it remained virtually the same until the day he passed away.
I’m not sure what he was cooking that day, but if I had to guess I would say links of sausage and burgers that were always well done. We ate so much spaghetti at Mema and Papa’s house that it always seemed exotic to have something different.
I loved those Saturday afternoons when the men would gather around the barbecue stand. The backyard was huge and my cousins and I would play baseball with my daddy and my uncles until the food was ready and Mema called us all to come in the house.
We’d gather in their huge kitchen, all sweaty and starving, and fix huge plates of food. It was always so loud that you couldn’t hear yourself think. A football game would blare out from the television and everyone would holler back and forth from the kitchen to the living room with a joke or making fun of how much someone put on their plates. I can’t think of a time I didn’t see my Uncle Carroll look at someone’s plate and say “DERN, that is impressive.”
It’s an expression we still use today because it is perfection.
After lunch everyone would find a place on one of Mema’s vinyl couches or on the floor to stretch out and watch football. I remember climbing all over my twin uncles as they lay on the floor because I was hoping to annoy them enough to go back outside and play more baseball. Eventually they would cave and we’d all head back outside until it was time for everyone to go home.
Last summer when I was in Beaumont, I drove to the other side of town to see Mema and Papa’s old house. Time hasn’t been kind to their neighborhood, but the house still looked just as I remember it.
I drove by slowly to take in the huge backyard that is the site of so many childhood memories and pulled into the driveway next to the side door where everyone entered their house. The memories haven’t dulled with time and I could almost see my Mema standing in the driveway blowing kisses and directing traffic as I pulled back out onto the main road.
As I drove away, I felt an ache like homesickness down in my stomach. A longing for a place that only exists in bits and pieces of my memory. A place and time that is gone forever.
But I will be forever grateful for that time, that place, those people. They shaped who I am. They taught me the value of spending time with family, laughter, football, and taking the time to grill some sausage while smoking a cigar.
And, ultimately, those are the things you remember. Even thirty years later.
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Thanks for the walk down memory lane! I also remember the visits to my grandparents homes as some of the best times in my life. My maternal grandmother passed away at a young age when I was only about 10 years old myself. To this day though, over 30 years later, my memories of her are still some of the most precious and vivid ones that I have.
Beautifully written!! Bravo. Made me cry at 5 a.m…congrats…
Thank you for the memories on this VERY cold and icy Wednesday. I have the same sentiments about my great-grandmother…
I drove past my grandparents former house when I was home for Christmas break. I teared up because the new owner had taken out the long row of bushes that I used to have to trim once a week. I wasn’t a big fan of doing it, but I was sad to see that they were gone. Thanks for another chance to reminisce.
The way you wrote this took me right there. It seems like we all long for that simpler time. When grandparents were the center and life was about time with family. That generation is so dearly missed in today’s world. I’ve done the same thing ~ driving past the home of my “Nini” and “Pop” only to be sad at the condition today… PS ~ I wonder if Caroline is the spitting image of her Momma.?.?.?
What wonderful memories…I’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic lately myself. We’ll be moving my mother to assisted living soon and A LOT of memories are going to be relived…
I want to be that kind of Nonny…that my children and grandchildren will remember one day. I want them to remember barbecues and shopping trips and playing games and their birthday stockings. I pray they will remember family prayer times and times that someone acted *ugly*…because that’s what makes up a family. And that’s what makes memories. Thank you for reminding me that somewhere down the road they will remember…and they may blog about it…so I’ll remember to always have my lipstick on!!!
Oh, you make me cry. My parents married very young and had me 10 months later. My grandparents on both sides were such a part of my childhood and grown up years. I recently lost my last living grandmother and the ache is so painful sometimes. I’m in my 40′s and am so thankful I had them for so long. My oldest two children will always remember their great-grands fondly also. My youngest is only 6 and the deaths of my gps started the year before he was born. He never got to meet his great-granddaddies. So, it’s photographs and our memories retold for him.
Thanks for this post.
What a sweet post! You made me cry!!! I love reading about other people’s families…all their quirks and craziness and the wonderful things that make them special. Isn’t it fun to remember? Have a great day!
I need to call my 94 year old grandma today. Thanks for the reminder to cherish her while I still have her.
Blessings – Lisa
what a lovely post, Melanie.
Memory lane is one of my favorite drives to take. My grandmama and grandaddy lived in the same house (that he built) for over 50 years. I too lived a lifetime of memories over there with them.
When Grandmama got to meet Jesus in 2006, I was a newly single mom with 2 little ones, struggling with being on my own after my husband had left. My daddy offered their home to me to move into if I wanted.
You know, the almost 2 years I lived there were so very precious. After I’d put the kids to bed at night, it would be just me sitting up with the tv on or whatever, and all those precious memories. It was a nice place to be during a time when I was feeling very alone and rejected. All the wonderful memories — I could feel Grandmama’s unconditional love in every single room of that home.
Yep, you got me too this morning! Here I am crying and it’s not even 8am.
Thanks for the lovely pictures and the walk down memory lane.
One thing we should never take for granted is family.
beautiful
Good memories are wonderful things.
Thank you for this post…my own grandfather and father were cigar smokers. Your title pulled me in right away…and you did not disappoint. This was beautiful. Oh…the memories. And that homesick ache…I know it well.
Blessings,
Kelly G
Your writing is amazing! Through your words you take readers to that very spot. Thanks for showing the importance of family and memories.
Nicely done, Melanie. You honored your family with this beautiful post.
Oh… you brought many memories for me as well of times spent with my family and cousins, thank you for that. Your post was just so nice I could feel it in my heart.
Wow,that was beautiful.I felt like I was there.
Aww dear, that is so precious. Thank you!!
Those memories are sooooo precious…. even 52 years later! Beautifully written Melanie!
Love it. I need to get some more of my childhood memories down in writing before I lose them forever.
My Dad has always cooked ‘Clemson BBQ Chicken’ on the grill. I love those times when we would all go outside and play while he basted the chicken with a paintbrust attached to a long stick.. Clearly, food prep was not at an all time high standard back then.
I use to put on my cheerleading outfit and cheer on my big brothers as they played football in my Granny’s front yard. Those were the days!
I loved this.
What a beautiful post! I remember so much of my childhood with my grandparents. Some days the ache of missing them is so great and other days I just laugh at funny things they said or did. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Beautiful story.
I too miss the old family get togethers with the aunts and uncles.
Such fun memories.
Just beautiful Melanie. We all need to let go of our need to do everything “perfectly” and realize that all our family want from us is our time. A life welled lived is one that would create memories like these.
What a nice memory to share. Thanks for letting us go along on your trip down memory lane. It takes me back to my childhood and makes me miss my daddy so much. I miss talking with him, I miss his unconditional love. I was always his little girl and he treated me like I was the smartest, prettiest girl in the world. Atleast we have memories, those never die.
Oh yes… those memories! The food that my Nanny would cook… her pride and joy was her “bun warmer” that kept her freshly made yeast rolls warm. The pies and cakes… the side dishes.. I could NEVER prepare all the food that she did, and that was just for a standard Sunday dinner. And then into the little back room with the lumpy sofas and yes, the TV blaring so loud. And everyone would talk over it, and then someone would turn it up, and then they’d talk louder. My head hurts just thinking about it, but my heart misses it anyway. Going back by a few years ago, I was struck by how “small” everything seemed versus when I was little. And I think about my boy now; does he “live large”? Cause I suppose I did, when I was little…..
Thats what I love about photos…they can bring back so many sweet memories.
Wow, that was an awesome post! I, too, have felt that knotty aching feeling remembering things in the past that are no more, but missing them just the same. Thank you for being a blessing in my day!
What a precious post. Thank you for sharing. I got more than a little misty about the sentimental journey. It made me think of so many of my own sweet childhood memories – that were really investments into who I’ve become.
Beautiful! And I love the “barbecue Taj Mahal”, you always crack me up, even through the lump in my throat of missing my own grandparents.
Sounds so much like my childhood, in our Italian family! My Papa has passed on and my Dad and Uncles had to sell my Papa’s house and that was hard to get over. But as you said I am so grateful for the memories.
I wrote about it a bit in this post:
http://joyfull.wordpress.com/2007/11/29/why-hello-there/
What a sweet post! I think back on my own childhood and family with the same nostalgic feelings. I drove by my grandparent’s old house just the other day.
Great post.
Thanks for sharing this memory with us. I feel the same way about my grandparents’ house. My dad’s dad and stepmom lived in an old hotel/boarding house and I always entertained a pipe dream that I’d move back up north and buy it.
Two years ago, we discovered to our shock that the house had been leveled. My grandfather never bought it…he rented for fifty years or more and the landlord had died. No one involved in the inheritance knew the house’s history and they knocked it down.
I was just sick the day I found out.
Isn’t it crazy to go back “home”? I can close my eyes and see the house I grew up in so vividly. However, several years back, I drove past it to see it and was shocked to find it so much smaller than I remembered. I, too, have LOTS of childhood memories in that backyard and miss many of the people that used to go in and out of it.
I can relate to that feeling of homesickness. I hadn’t set foot in the small town where my grandma lived, and which was like my second home growing up, since the day of her funeral. But last year I went back for a wedding and the wave of nostalgia that rushed over me as we drove down the cornfield-lined country roads and through the town was overwhelming. I’m going back this week for a memorial service, by myself this time, so I hope to be able to spend a little more time there just exploring and remembering.
Thank you so much for this. Sometimes I think I am the only person who has those aches of homesickness for a time and place that only exists in memories (home videos). Thank you for sharing one of your special memories with us.
This post made me cry. It is so true of my family. We are all spread out and don’t see each other very often anymore. All the Grands are gone and most of the aunts and uncles too.We cousins seem too busy to get together very often.
Our favorite saying about the food came after we had stufed ourselves. “Oh my, this doesn’t even look good anymore!!!”
Thanks for the memories.
I had an uncle with a jumpsuit, too. He gave me something every single time we visited. It was usually fruit or my aunt’s homemade divinity.
The tearjerker for me was your description of your grandma waving to everyone and directing traffic from the driveway. My grandpa used to do some universal hand signal for “buckle your seatbelt.” Great post!
I’d like to know how many people you made cry with this post.
I’d be on that list! Love it…thanks for sharing and cause us all to think.
What a wonderful, emotion-filled post! I remember going to my Grandma’s house and fishing off the floating dock! They would still be living there today if their house hadn’t been flooded after a hurricane. I still can pass by the old street, and memories of car rides to their house, and playing in the HUGE yard and creek come pouring back! Thanks for the reminder!
This was such a sweet post! My eyes are stinging.
It brought back memories of my own grandparents who have also passed away.
We would go to my Nonna and Nonno’s every Sunday for sauce…
You have a gift with words Melanie!
What a heartstring of mine you have just played. My grandfather was a cigar smoking fellow, too. But he would not be found at a barbeque pit; instead, he would be in a mechanic pit. He always had grease under his nails. Oh, how I miss my grandparents!
Love you!
Holly
great post! thanks for helping me take a minute to wander down my own memory lane.
Sweet memories. I remember how hard it was to drive by the old neighborhood. At the same time it was a wonderful trip down memory lane. Thanks for sharing.
Julie
A beautifully written description of the bond of family! God is so good to give us memories.
A most lovely post Melanie.
Some of my fondest memories involve big extended family all around. Loads of good food, sports inside and out (my 6 brothers and i often made our own team.
Being a grandparent to three now, i can only hope to leave these kinds of indelible remembrances with my little crew, thanks for sharing yours!
oh thanks so much for sharing that tradition is priceless and a tear jerker memory that is sad that they are not around but in your mind they will always be there and our amazing God is watching and they are watching over you .
Yopu are strong womenn of faith and the lord loves that , he loves to see people shout it out and care for other s and show love.
looking back in life and old memories are always fun, I so ofter pull the big book out of photos and show my daughter ‘s back in teh day what mommy did . and they like kids chuckle and have starnge looks ..
this so fits in with my them for today please join us if you like .. over @ circle of life.
it’s favorite picture day.
any picture that is your favorite of the week , past week back in teh day post it like you did with a clip of the story behind it like you did and post teh button of mine and mr linky to share with every one. now that thought is a memory and you can print that out for caroline and save them as mommy’s memorys back in the day. I’m doing it for gabby . its fun so come on over if you like and join in the fun @ circl of life.
hugs michelle.
What a beautiful post. Your grandparents’ house looks so very similar to my Papaw and Mamaw’s house in York, SC. The same brick with white ironwork, but their house had a carport (that we called a “car porch” as kids) instead of the garage.
Oh gees thanks for making me cry!!! You made me think of my grannys house, my mom sold it about 10 years ago and the people that bought have turned it into a dump. Me and my husband drove by and it just so happens the owner was outside and we stopped and he came over to our car and all I said was “Elizabeth Kale is turning over in her grave right now as we speak” and the guy looked at me and said “is it that bad?”. My best memories are of me and my granny hanging out in the driveway talking to her friends and then we would walk to her friends house for a game of bridge, in which I would eat all of their refreshments. Thanks for making me think of my granny today.
~Molly P
This was great! I think my own Papa had a similar ‘Taj Mahal’ built in the backyard of their Sour Lake home when I was a child. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!
It amazing what memories stay with us from childhood. Thanks for sharing!
btw, I was sitting right behind Kim at FBCW when you came over and hugged her before the concert. I so wanted to snap a picture of you but I didn’t want to appear to be some stalker chick! ;~)
Next time I’ll say hi!
i call my grands “mema and papa,” too! i love it.
I didn’t grow up with awsome grandparents or uncles but I image it was great. I am thankful that my mom made up for what we didn’t have. Family is great no matter how big or small.
I gasped when I saw the picture of their house…if you flipped it, with the garage on the opposite side, it is the spitting image of my own childhood home, down to the color and the lacy white wrought iron post. My dad manned the grill and turned out those well-done burgers and there was always a game being played in the huge backyard. If you replaced the cigar-smoking for domino-playing, what you described was every holiday and family gathering of my life. Thanks Melanie for that sweet memory stroll.
It was great to hug you at FBCW.
)
Thanks for sharing your beautiful memories. Your family sounds lovely! You brought back some sweet memories for me as well.
I love the walk down memory lane, I remember so much Sunday’s at my MIL and FIL’s house and the aunts and uncles and the fun of the BQ. We went back and the house is not the same…it hasn’t been taken care of. But like you say I still have my good memories
Thanks
Hi there… I found your site from “bring the rain” and have read it almost everyday for the past week… I love how real your heart is… the entry with the scarf video made me want to call you up and ask you if we could be friends!!! You’re hilarious and genuine and oh so insightful… I appreciated your thoughts on those lovely “huevos Rancheros”!!
And todays post was a precious journey into a little bit of your heart… thanks for sharing!
anyways, just wanted to say hello and I’m glad that I found your sight..
Hope you’re having a great day…
Kacy from CA
Our Blog site is jkclarkfam.com you’re welcome to check it out if you’d like!!!
Seriously-this was beautiful. It brought the similiar memories I have from my childhood of my Mama and Papa. They were everything to me as a little girl. I stayed summers at their house and the memories that exist in my heart will always be with me and that’s what I have to remind myself of almost everyday. Great post Bigmama!!
This lifestyle lives on with my next-door neighbors. They have 7 (grown) children and at last count 18 grandchildren. Every Sunday evening about 5:30 the Surburbans start rolling down their long tree-lined drive. We cannot see the activity through the trees, but we have listened to those kids grow up by the sounds they make and the games they play. And they always play outside, summer or winter.
I remember baseball games on TV, homemade ice-cream and playing croquet in my grandparents’ yard. Thanks for reminding me to take the time to remember those days and hopefully create them with my future grandchildren!
So great, Melanie. Reading this made me miss the backyard bbq’s at my MawMaw & PawPaw’s house growing up. (We always had chicken.) My MawMaw died 15 years ago, which seems impossible — and all of the family gatherings died with her. Nothing is as it was, and driving around that tiny town now really gets my memories bumpin’ around in my mind {like the wash cycle on the washing machine} and makes me feel a strange touch of homesickness too.
I loved reading this.
And as an aside: That Uncle Bo may well be the skinniest man I’VE ever seen.
Great post … I drive past my grandparents every time I get a chance and I just know the people renting the house from us are thinking that woman is crazy!!
I just sit directly across the street from it and just stare and have my own memory lane time .. and yes I agree everything seems so much smaller now.
Boy those …. were …. the daaaaaays ….. (Edith Bunker style ….)
I am a fan of your blog, but this is first time I’ve commented. It was as though I had written this post myself…I just had a visit with a favorite aunt this past weekend, and we talked about the same things you did. I’ve been thinking about where I’ve come from alot lately, and missing that cigar smoking paw paw myself!
…not only did my paw paw smoke cigars, my maw maw directing traffic and blew kisses till we were out of the drive way and down the street..thanks again for taking me back down that street!
We were just talking about this recently at my grandmas house. When I was little and spent all the summers i could at their house. It was nothing on a spring or summer afternoon to have 20 people show up for lunch, some coming home with my granddad and some arriving with my uncle from his work and yet there always was enough food and enough plates for everyone and I know Grandma didnt always plan for it.
I was about 5 when granddad retired. I was his shadow as long as they would let me be and I remember picking strawberries with him and hiding from my grandma behind the tractor shed so she would let us eat them….
thanks for the instant recall!!
steff
We were just talking about this recently at my grandmas house. When I was little and spent all the summers i could at their house. It was nothing on a spring or summer afternoon to have 20 people show up for lunch, some coming home with my granddad and some arriving with my uncle from his work and yet there always was enough food and enough plates for everyone and I know Grandma didnt always plan for it.
I was about 5 when granddad retired. I was his shadow as long as they would let me be and I remember picking strawberries with him and hiding from my grandma behind the tractor shed so she would let us eat them….
thanks for the instant recall!!
steff
Awe! I have a Mema too! And was fortunate to grow up right next door to her. Thanks for reminding me to remember those awesome times. What priceless memories!
I’m glad you can go back, literally and figuratively – I can only go back to G & G Cottinghams in my memory – they’ve both been gone for years and their house has been torn down to make some duplexes in Missouri. So sad…
But they taught me so much – and expected so much – so they GOT so much from me! And when I turned 13, they treated me like and adult so I began to ACT like an adult. And could that woman COOK! I’m glad I got some of her recipes on paper before she passed. And my grandpa was the perfect example of someone who is content in any situation. He was very pragmatic and down-to-earth.
I miss them both so much.
I’m sitting at work with huge tears in my eyes that are about to spill over my fat cheeks and I’m all choked up so I can’t answer the phone! I think I need to go home! Actually, it was a beautiful memory of yours that stirred many in me!
Thank you! ! ! !
I enjoyed reading about your memories because even though I never knew these people I have my own family that fit in these catagories. Reading this took me back to my family gatherings and the ones that have gone on and all the ways they touched my life. I just hope that my kids will be able to look back with the same fondness years down the road.
Okay, totally unrelated, but Mrs. Beth mentioned you on the LPM blog. You are officially a celebrity.
Can I have your autograph? That is SO cool! Can I borrow her cell phone number, I got a prayer request I need to pass on.
Wink, wink!
Wow, this is so timely for us. My Father In Law passed away yesterday after being dignosed with liver cancer just 2 weeks ago. It was very sudden, and our family is reeling, we can’t even have the funeral right now b/c of the big ice and snow storm here, roads are closed.
Anyway, my girls (ages 8 & 14) are devastated, it has been so horrible. They spend all their weekends at Mamaw & Papaw’s, and my 8 year old is always glued to his lap. I know they will cherish memories like this one day. This helped remind me that in time, we will be OK.
Thanks.
Wow, that brought me back (way back) as well. My Papa rolled his own cigs. It was my Mema that took me church and I met Jesus at 5. I certainly did not know what to do with Jesus until about age 20. On the other side…Dad…My Uncle Verl smoked a pipe and it smelled so great…I loved going to Aunt MaryAnn’s and Uncle Verls house. They were crazy, fun, lots of love in a “farmy” German sort of way..lol…I come from a long line of cotton pickers, horse traders, and lots of Germans.
I can SO identify with you doing the drive-by. I even visit my grandparents’ old house (more than thirty years since they were living) via Google Earth, as they now have pictures up and down most residential streets.
What a wonderful post. Having just lost my Gramma a few months ago I took my kids by their old house telling them memories I had from visiting there as a kid. Your story brought back some wonderful memories of my own grandparents and BBQ and family get togethers.
What a cool post. It’s fun to peek in on other’s memories. Thanks for sharing.
What sweet memories. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing that. I just passed the farm I grew up on this weekend. My grandma lived right next door on the same farm. Seeing her house made me ache for her, and the simple times sitting in the kitchen, watching her make noodles. Ah, the memories.
I love remembering the “olden days” as my 8 year old would say. And Mel, how cool are you being referenced in Beth Moore’s top 10 from the Taping of Travis’ Worship CD/DVD on the LPM Blog. I am not worthy. Again, so jealous.
Becky
Love this post! I was just back home and drove to my Grandma’s place. It’s for sale now and I wish I could snatch it up and live in it today. There are so many childhood memories there. I pray my kids get the chance to have those memories too. Thanks for the story. I needed it tonight!
Hi! This post brought tears to my eyes, it was so touching. Thank you for sharing that! I never had granparebts or uncles or anything, so that just filled my heart with joy that you didnt take your fam for granted, and still appreciate them to this day. Been following you on twitter for a while now, feel free to follow me also. God bless! Jo
I drive by my great grandparents small house quite often, and glancing at it always gives me a nostalgic twinge. It’s strange to think that one day my kids will do the same thing when they look at all of the “old” houses that their parents and grandparents lived in. Good memories. Great post.
I have had a week just like this…aching to return to a memory for just a moment…to take it all in and really appreciate it.
Beautifully written.
What a beautiful post! I love taking trips down memory lane!
This post reminds me of my grandparents, who have been gone for over 20+ years now. My grandpa used to always smoke cigars.
They lived in the same town where I still reside, but I don’t drive by their old house very often because it is in such terrible shape now. It looks as of no one has taken care of it at all, in all the years they have been gone, and that breaks my heart. I miss them and the many memories made in that house.
Beautiful, Mel.
That was wonderful, Melanie. My paternal grandparents lived in Beaumont, too, and I drove by their house one day when I was in Beaumont for work. The house was not as glorious as I remember it but, oh, the memories… Is anything in Beaumont as glorious as when we were children? Maybe the Picadilly and the Market Basket?
What a wonderful post–it takes me back down memory lane with my grandparents. It’s my Oma’s 86th birthday today and she and my Opa live 3000 miles away from me and I ache to go back and see them and feel the comfort that is in their home. So much of what was good in my life as a child is in that home–I would miss it more than my own childhood home. My Opa smoked cigars too (he hasn’t for several years though) so the title caught my eye. He is 91 and had a heart attack last year. I haven’t seen my grandparents in 15 months–they usually come out West to visit but couldn’t last year due to my Opa’s health. Oh the memories this post brings to mind. Bittersweet for sure.
I have a great uncle who wore those same type of jumpsuits! Thanks for the flashback.
OMG…when i saw the picture of Mema and Papa’s house you described my feelings perfectly when you said “an ache like homesickness down in my stomach.” It’s just crazy when you are reminded about something you totally forgot about. I haven’t heard the name Uncle Bo in years!
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