Since Caroline is in school five days a week, she doesn’t go to the grocery store with me as much as she used to. This saddens her greatly because there is no activity that thrills her more than walking through HEB with me and seeing how many things she can ask for before my head explodes.
The truth is that I kind of miss the grocery store companionship, but mostly I miss being able to buy a box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls and then tell P, “She just had to have them!”
There was no need to clarify that by “she”, I meant “me”.
Anyway, the other day I had to run in HEB after I picked her up from school to get a few things we needed for dinner, like avocados, a large bag of M&M’s and the latest US Weekly. While we were there, I told her she could pick out any box of any cereal she wanted.
ANY CEREAL.
This is what she chose.
Needless to say, I thought we were going to have to take her in for some genetic testing.
Especially considering that I wouldn’t have survived my freshman year of college without Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch Cereal.
Oh, the Cap’n. We had some good times.
It’s hard to imagine many good times involving natural marshmallow pieces, which is probably why you don’t hear many people say “YUM! These Mallow-Oats are just a big bowl of naturally-sweetened deliciousness!”
But I kept my mouth shut. If my child doesn’t want to embrace her heritage of artificially-flavored, high-fructose ingredients, then so be it. Spread your wings and fly, my little hippie.
The next morning, I poured her a bowl of the Mallow-Oats. She took one bite of a natural marshmallow and I could tell by the look on her face that she immediately regretted her decision.
“This is not good, Mama.”
“I know.”
“Can I have something else?”
“Yes, baby. Let Mama get you a Swiss Cake Roll.”
I’m totally kidding.
I’d never let her share my Swiss Cake Rolls.
Hah! These are the cat’s meow at our place! Especially mixed with natural Shredded Wheat and multi-grain Cheerios!
(I have no idea why “cat’s meow” came to mind as a way to describe breakfast cereal. It’s 2 am. That must be it.)
Love your sense of humor!
Those just look nasty.
Big Mel. . .
Don’t take that the wrong way! Haha!
I just HAD to inform you of something (sorry it has nothing to do with cereal or this post for that matter), anyway, it has to do with scarves. . .yes, fashion before food as I always say.
Please inform all of your fashionista readers that in these tough economic times, they can now purchase The Year of the Scarf, $5, all the rage, Wal-Mart scarves, for a mere $3 on clearance.
I happened to come across them yesterday as I made a much needed tampon trip to my local Wally World. . .whood a thunk I’d go in for tampons and come out with scarves in all the colors I didn’t have?!?! It was sheer bliss!
Anydoodles, I rushed home to blog about my find while making sure to mention Angie, you, and Brandi in my post, since, after all, without you three ladies, I wouldn’t have spent my grocery money on a bag full of scarves!
Sooooo, please spread the news! Oh, and if any of your readers would like to take up a collection for grocery money for my family, that would be great. . .then we won’t have to eat scarves for dinner!
Be Blessed,
Amy (Honestly)
Ha!! That was so funny, aren’t kids the best? I just found you through Pioneer Woman and I like what I’m reading. Will be back for more.
There is nothing natural about a marshmallow!
The funny thing is that my kids love Kashi Mighty Bites. I would never buy such healthy stuff, but when the kids go to Grandma’s house for the summer, there’s no telling what they’ll come back loving.
Me? I call it good that I like Raisin Bran and Frosted Shredded Wheat. They found my boxes and quickly emptied them. What is this world coming to?!!!
(Fear not, for they love their Cap’n Crunch and Lucky Charms as much as the next kid. We’re still pseudo-normal around here.)
Don’t try Soy Joys either. There is no joy and they are disgusting. Kashi makes a good cereal, but they also make the nastiest cookie I’ve ever had. Gross. I know that chocolate was involved, but chocolate shouldn’t be mistreated like that.
Rice Krispies for us!
Just wait until she gets older and starts telling you how many grams of fat are in a food. That’s when I aske for a “MA”ternity test, because there is no way she could be mine.
So funny! Keep writing, you make me laugh!
My girls are 10 and 7 so it has been a long while since they have accompanied me to the grocery store.
Last week I was doing my shopping and got a bit nostalgic for those good ole days when Katie would beg me to let her push the cart and Elena was content to sit in the cart and eat goldfish.
Then I saw a mother wrangling three small children while trying to pick out produce. One of them was running away from her, one was trying to break free of the restraints that held him in the cart and the other was crying for a cookie.
I got over my nostalgia.
My well-meaning husband, gun-totin’ conservative that he is, would call that cereal “tree hugger food.” He calls everything organic/planet-friendly that. Great post!
My family (husband included) not only eat that particular cereal, but beg for me to buy it. I’ve never tried it, and I have no plans to. I’m not much of a Little Debbie fan, but I think I’d rather have a Swiss Roll.:)
I really appreciate that you let her make her choices when she can. My daughter is so much like her and is now 11 and she really makes some great decisions. She also listens to me more than she would when she was little because I would say I really don’t think you will like that cereal but it is your choice. After MANY of these learning moments over the years she is finally starting to realize that I might know what I’m talking about. (She still insists socks do not need to match her outfit, it’s interesting but she is actually quite the little trend setter among the 6th graders in her knee high argyle socks and basketball uniform)
How well I remember the battle of the breakfast cereal! Every child, and every mother of every child, has walked this same path down the cereal aisle. Thanks for sharing.
something about the word mallow without marsh in front of it really grosses me out.
Crackin me up again as usual!! The podcast…funny, very funny.
I spent a year at Southern Adventist University in Collegdale, TN. And if you look on the back of the Little Debbie boxes, you’ll notice that they’re made in Collegedale, TN. You’ve probably never even heard of Collegedale, and there’s a good reason for that. The only thing in Collegedale is SAU and the McKee Bakery. You can get boxes of Little Debbies there for like… 35 cents. Heaven. On. Earth.
It’s that clever marketing that fooled her! She saw the marshmallows the size of head in the picture. Too bad they’re gross!
Oh my word…that’s too funny.
And I’m all about a Swiss Cake Roll for breakfast. Because really, the rolling action at the factory to create such goodness actually squeezed out all the calories. : )
OK, so I can always count on you for a great laugh…..perfect way to start my day.
First off…I too can still remember the days of The Captain.
Even when the roof of my mouth always felt like someone used a cheese grater on it after finishing off the second bowl. Why is that?
…and we cannot forget about good ole Suzy Q’s.
good times. good times.
Oh, and I def. have a weird child…..she loves Kashi Go Lean Crunch….even though her brother’s refer to it as Mushy Dog Crap cereal.
thanks again for the good laugh…..have a great day!
Peace~
*~Michelle~*
Thank you! I needed a laugh today…and now I think I need to stop on the way home and get some swiss cake rolls.
You just crack me up! This morning, when the kids saw me eating leftover pizza for breakfast, they wanted some. They really don’t understand that all leftover pizza automatically belongs to me, and only me.
Um…yeah, Caroline obviously had a hippie moment…I can relate, especially when I see under-20 girls with long hair modeling various outfits including large floppy hats when they’re not at the pool. Case in point – Ann Taylor Loft website. I can see how that would carry over to cereal. At least she didn’t choose Kashi cereal. THAT is truly horrendous.
Too funny…and you know a lot of that stuff is not really healthy. Natural cane syrup—it’s just organic high fructose…don’t take that as pure fact though…but it does crack me up that we can all fall into the trap of Organic means healthy…not nec. so..I love natural foods…but natural junk food, I am pretty sure is just as bad for a body.
Oh how I love the swiss cake rolls!
Please give that girl some real Lucky Charms! But you are such a great mom by giving her the swiss cake. I would have given my boys a bag of chips and called it a day.
Uhhh…it looks completely gross! I don’t share my Swiss Cake Rolls either…never!
We had that once with some of the PLAIN mini wheats. Who would eat that? They are NOTHING. Same thing with boy #3, he took one bite and that was the end of the plain mini wheat.
I love the fact that she grabbed the “family size” box!
we are not even close to natural-food eaters, but for some reason the “mom’s best” cereals are a hit in our house. in fact, I had some this morning. but I would have rather had a swiss cake roll…
What a riot!! I love the story. And I feel the college Cap’n story. Mine was a combo of fruity pebbles and Reese peanut butter puffs. So many dinners, I can’t even count. Hope your day is blessed! Enjoy your swiss cake roll.
TOO FUNNY! I once had a parent of one of my students who had too many tatoos and piercings to count. Her misery in life was that her daughter wanted to wear dresses and hair bows. It was like she was considered the Marilyn of the family for wanting to dress normally in first grade. (The Munsters, if you aren’t tracking…)
Hilarious!
My husband always says “fat free” means “taste free” and “organic” is code for “twice the price”.
“Natural” and “marshmallow” are two words that just don’t belong together-makes no sense!!! There is nothing natural about a marshmallow and that is what makes them taste so good!!!
I saw a package of flaxseed cookies at Wal Mart the other day and I am not sure how those can be considered “cookies” at all! I’ll just stick with my weekly purchase of Hershey/almond bars, thank you.
My girl tends to pick her cereal by the pop stat on the box.. And every time the Hannnah Montanna oats or high school musical pops goes uneaten, because while the box presentation is unbeatable the contents lack something.. I think it’s flavor
This made me laugh and love you more because you share my love for swiss cake rolls. Nothing better.
I love, love, love PB Capt Crunch!!!! And I’ve passed down such a wonderful delight to my daughter — who now has to hide her own box from me!!
*giggle* poor thing, indoctrinated in the whole desire to eat healthy vs. desire to eat good food! lol
Wow, what have they done with children these days? NATURAL, doesn’t she understand that is a synonym for CARDBOARD?
Off to have my Count Chocula!
That would NEVER happen at my house; only authentic, food-dye injected, additive-enriched, high-fructose corn syrup-drenched cereal would be chosen by my boy. And I wasn’t so into the Cap’n back in college; I was walkin’ on the wild side and totally got into Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Don’t tell anyone that I did “menage a quatre” back in those days… it’s my dirty little secret.
You are so funny! Ironically, my mom just gave me a box of this same cereal just last night. Odd!! My kids haven’t tried it yet so we will see what kind of reaction they have! Also, swiss rolls, Yummmmmmmm! I tend to eat the whole box myself!
Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch. Mmmmmmm . . .
And Swiss Cake rolls . . . seriously, it is NOT NICE to do this to someone who had Shredded Wheat ‘n’ Bran for breakfast.
Seriously.
I grew up on swiss rolls. I’m married to a hostess devotee, but for me, Little Debbie all the way.
I don’t share them either.
Thank you for providing me with a big belly laugh this morning. I never had Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch until I got married. My husband told me I HAD to try it and that I would never be the same. He was right. But we can’t buy them b/c I will eat the whole box in one sitting!
My deprived children eat Cheerios. Emma, my five year old, spent a night at a friends’ house once. They had Lucky Charms for breakfast. Emma still talks about that cereal whenever she sees the commercial.
As a kid, I ALWAYS had a Little Debbie snack with my school lunch. I’m a big fan of the Swiss Cake Rolls, but I also enjoyed the Star Crunches.
Hysterical! Best thing ever? Breakfast for dinner. The mom who invented that was a genius!
Thanks for the laughs, I needed them this morning. Though I have to say my little 7 yr old is totally addicted to bran flakes, not with raisins or anything else just give her bran flakes. I’m not quite sure how she gets them down without those raisins to give them flavor, but then again this is also the child who would rather have her some carrots than a cookie. (note none of my other children are this way i think there might have been a switch up in the hospital, if I wasn’t so fond of her I might look into this further)
…”Spread your wings and fly, my little hippie.” Classic. Absolutely classic.
I love that girl!!
Too funny!!! She should have just stuff with the lucky charms or fruit loops, haha!!!
)
Fall on your knees this very moment and thank the Lord that she has seen the Light!! And pray that she continues to follow that artificially-flavored, high-fructose light ….. ALWAYS!
My oldest has been a pain-in-the-rear ……. I mean, vegetarian, for several years now and I HATE having her go shopping with me!
I’m happy for you …… I’ll pray she follows her heritage.
Janine
My kids love that cereal…even that Brand. So funny to see you bought it! Too funny.
HAHA! You’ve got me rolling in the floor laughing. Kids can be so funny. They want something one day, then nothing to do with it the next.
Now Bigmama, you know we can’t have your head exploding because then we wouldn’t get to read about it. JK, I couldn’t resist. Seroisly, I love your blog.
LOL. I’m with you on that one. We have a box of Kashi Honey Grain Something Or Other sitting in our pantry for this very reason. Stick to the Honeycombs my dear children; Mama really does know best.
PS
If you have time, check me out! http://www.justfergie.com
You crack me up.
Did you give her Diet Coke to wash it all down with? That is what I lived on in college.
Excellent. I just wrote about a similar experience with my oatmeal.
Great post!
I need the “real thing” in Lucky Charms. None of those healthy marshmallows for me:)
Love your site. Just jumped over here from Ree’s site.
We must be related somehow because I love Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch like a wino loves Boone’s Farm, despite the gunk it puts on my teeth every time. [cereal gunk, not wine]
Little Debbie oatmeal pies are as close as I get to “health food.” LOL
Dee
Sorry, but the Reeses Puffs blow the Cap’n right out of the water.
Funny! I don’t feel bad now about not sharing my Special k with red berries with my nephew (17 yrs old). And why don’t they just say strawberries…no they say red berries.
Please write a book. I think you are the funniest person I’ve ever “heard.” I reread some of your posts when I am having a bad day, just because it lifts my spirits so much!!
Too funny. My kids picked up the same cereal – they love it though. I think it’s pretty nasty… I’ll take Cap’n Crunch anyday over that stuff!
Are the cereal pieces of that natural goodness supposed to anchors? Funny looking mushrooms? Who wants to eat anchors and fungi with their natural marshmallows…which by the way is an oxymoron defying the very defintion of marshmallows…as is the concept of homemade marshmallows, an activity that my great aunt frequented. Give me alphabets and lucky charms with my mass produced colorwonderful marshmallows any day!
I love this post! I love my big bowl of sugar cereals!! Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms!? Be still my beating heart!!! ha!
ANNND…to agree with you further….Gotta love little Debbie. Hello LOVER!!! ha ha
hahahaha
I agree with Becky… there’s nothing natural about a marshmallow!
And that’s a shame that they’re no good….. I actually like their version of honey nut cheerios!
Too funny! I LOVE Cap’n Crunch – I am actually thinking about having a bowl right now! I found you through Mimi – I actually work with her! I will be “seeing” you again!
“I would never share my Swiss Cake Rolls.” You crack me up! Do you eat them with Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate?
This made me snort! I love Little Debbie and, at 47, I made a new cereal discovery (thanks to my son’s girlfriend): Reese’s Puffs – like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but a cereal! Mmmm.
Man oh MAN I miss HEB! And Freebirds…but I digress. At least she got her granola, organic, hippie mamma phase over with before she is old enough to shave (or not..eeek)
Oh man, I feel her pain. My kids all eat Gluten Free (not by choice) and sometime I will take a bit of something, say GF Fish sticks for instance, and promptly gag while I think to myself, “how on EARTH do they stand this crap?????” Seriously.
It is 3 times as expensive and tastes 3 times as nasty.
When I found out last July that I had a little blood sugar issue – as in Little Debbie and Hostess products three or four times a day was not a good thing, mostly – I had to make a choice. So Little Debbie and I parted company and are no longer friends. How I miss that hat wearing girl from southeast Tennessee!! But I am now 50 pounds lighter and feeling so much better (but I still could eat a box of oatmeal cakes right now. I’m not the Swiss roll kind of girl!). I still love your blog so! I hope I never find an ailment that would make me have to give it up cause I don’t think I could do that as easily as Little Debbie!!
Haha
I laughed out loud at that one.
Today while I was doing the groceries I gave my 6 mo old the bag of cadbury eggs (which are pretty much heaven) to play with and she was trying to eat them through the bag – you gotta start them young.
I almost thought those were Lucky Charms for a second… I love me some Lucky Charms…
And here is another good reason to take your child shopping, besides the companionship and loading random items into your card. When you just HAVE to use the bathroom in a store and don’t know where it is and don’t want to ask, you can go up to an employee with your child in hand and ask where it is, subtly tilting your head toward your child as if he/she is the one needing to use it. Works every time, even if there are just “employee only” bathrooms. Really the only thing better is if you look very pregnant.
Hahaha…I never share my sweets either! That was very funny.
Okay, those may be bad – but the Mom’s Natural Honey Nut Cheerios are fantastic!!!!!!
Being a child of the 70′s myself, with parents who assumed that their child was a moron even though I taught myself how to read by the age of 4, every time I see that organic kid food I remember carob. Did your parents try that one on you? The chocolate replacement that was supposed to taste just like chocolate and be totally good for you? Some of the nastiest trash out there, it was gross. I am lucky, I bred to a skinny skinny man and my child takes after him. I let her eat whatever nasty sugar coated cereal she wants so hopefully all of her childhood traumas will be of my own doing, not from food!