As I briefly mentioned, before I took my blogging sabbatical, I’d spent the weekend in New Orleans. And by weekend, I mean I was there for about twenty-four hours. Six of which were spent in the Louis Armstrong Airport.
Sophie and I were there to blog for Allaccess and after the first part of the Living Proof Live event ended on Friday night, we felt like we needed something to eat in spite of the fact that I’d eaten a crawfish po-boy that was bigger than my head only a few hours earlier.
So we did what most people do when they’re in a city that’s world renowned for its cuisine; we went to Domino’s Pizza.
We originally debated just ordering room service, but $26.00 seemed a little pricey for a cheese plate, even if it did promise homemade pecan bread and various cheeses from around the world. Instead, we ventured outside the hotel but were too exhausted to find a real restaurant. Our choices boiled down to a Quik Mart that offered four-day-old fried chicken kept warm by a thirty-watt lightbulb or Domino’s.
Several people were already waiting for their orders in the Domino’s waiting area and I immediately sensed they’d been waiting for their pizzas for a long time. I have an intuition about these types of things or maybe it was the fact that one customer had curled up and fallen asleep on the bench. I’m not sure.
The girl behind the counter was on the phone when we walked up to the order window and she looked up long enough to ROLL her eyes at the very nerve of us interrupting her personal conversation to order a pizza. What did we think this was? A pizza place?
She put the receiver to her chest, adjusted her Domino’s visor, and said, “Mmhe melo hou?”
“Um. Sorry to bother you. Can you tell us how long it would take to get a pizza?”
“Shnme melm.”
“Beg your pardon?”
Big eye roll.
She put down the phone, glanced back towards the kitchen that contained no indication that anyone was actually making pizzas, and said what I believed to be “Fifteen minutes”.
“Okay. Then we’d like the four for $4.00 special with pepperoni!”
Hooray for optimism.
We paid for our pizza and I could tell as we faced the waiting room crowd that we’d made a huge mistake. Why didn’t anyone tell us that it was too late for them but we should save ourselves? It was as if they were all bound by some unwritten code of Domino’s Pizza silence.
For the next hour we watched people give up on their cheesy breadsticks and Philly Cheesesteak pizzas and go back from whence they came. But not us.
Oh no ma’am, we were prepared to die on that Domino mountain or uncomfortable bench or whatever. We’d shelled out $16.00 for our pizzas, we’d invested the time, and we were going to get us a pepperoni pizza if it killed us. There was no going back to the comfort and safety of the hotel and settling for a $28.00 plate of global cheese.
The Domino’s patrons were looking sketchier by the minute and that’s when I began to wonder if I was going to meet my demise in an establishment that serves mediocre pizza at best.
About that time, one of the other customers decided to impress those of us still waiting for any semblance of food. He got on his cell phone and proceeded to call everyone he knew to tell them about the party he’d just left and the party he was headed to after he got his pizza. And how awesome all the parties were and how he didn’t put up with anything from anyone.
Well, except for maybe the folks at Domino’s who had kept him waiting for over an hour for his pizza.
It was fascinating.
At some point during his fifth cell phone call, he realized all his party plans were failing to draw us in. I hated to tell him that he was dealing with two mamas in their late 30′s. The only party we’re looking for at this point in our lives is a comfortable couch and some sort of reality show marathon on Bravo, preferably involving Rachel Zoe.
So he got off the phone and began to tell us his Domino’s Pizza conspiracy theory. According to him, they purposely make you wait so you’ll leave without your food and they’ll keep your money. Apparently it’s how they make a profit. I don’t really give that theory any credit because it doesn’t make any sense and, also, because I heard it from a drunk guy in New Orleans.
After spending an hour watching the girl at the counter repeatedly gaze into the kitchen and tell prospective customers that it would be “about fifteen minutes”, we finally heard her call out, “Joikobnse”. I wasn’t totally sure it was us, but it looked close enough. We grabbed it and ran back to the hotel.
It was one of the best pepperoni pizzas I’ve had in at least a week.
In fact, I’d like to say it was worth the wait.
But that would be a lie.
However, you have to believe that it was better than four-day-old chicken.
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Hello! I’m new to blogging and I came across your blog last week when you were on your blog sabatical. I’m glad your back so now I can read your new posts! The blog world is so addicting! Have a great day!
You can make an hour wait at Dominos funny! Love your blog, love the Caroline photos and stories! We all missed you last week!
The funny thing is, we have Domino’s here in Morocco, where they are expensive, trendy, and surprisingly better than their US version.
if i was stuck at a crummy domino’s for that long…i can’t think of two funnier people to spend the time with!
Hysterical…you have a gift girl. And it cracks me up, everytime!
Here’s my pizza stort.
We went to Pizza Hut the day after Christmas, not this year, but a long time ago, and after doing all the puzzles they had on the paper place mats, we expected to be served. We were the only patrons there. Anyway, we got the waitress’ attention, and asked when our order would be ready. (Are you ready for this?) She told me that they had LOST our order. WE WERE THE ONLY ONES THERE! We came home and ate turkey sandwiches.
For the record, they have much better service not.
Yes……I think that you are pretty much the only person I would enjoy waiting that long for a pizza with…..
….but then again, if that were to happen, I would sense maybe the need to be bailed out in our future or at least a good natured food fight!
Thanks again for the morning smiles…..
Peace~
*~Michelle~*
What can you do when the dominos girl has the upper hand?
Somehow, when I think “New Orleans,” the words “Domino’s Pizza” never cross my mind. I would think a food establishment like that would be against zoning regulations down there. Should we blame Katrina?
Customer Service in New Orleans is well, non-existent. Not good or bad, just not available at all.
Glad you got your pizza and I enjoy your blog!
I’m new to your blog…but I’d have to say this is why I love NYC you can order the pizza at home ONLINE and watch each step as they bring it to your door! Crazy I know!! Glad your back, I enjoy your blog! Thanks!
This reminds me of a funny college story. My roomate would write checks to dominos for pizza. When her Dad started going through her checkbook to see where all of his money was going…he asked what domino’s was. She told him it was a store where you buy “feminine hygene products” he totally dropped the conversation after that.
The blog and podcasts keep me in stitches! Keep up the good work!
I heat up my own pizzas. I have had too much trouble with pizza joints.
There was one time at a Pizza Hut where they took FOREVER, a hour and a half! Then, we discovered they duplicated one order and forgot another one. Later, the server actually asked us if we wouldn’t mind paying for the duplicate order we sent back at 10% off!
I was in New Orleans a couple of weeks ago for work.
Next time your there hop in a cab for a short ride to Port of Call for this:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/CZlJFrerGfIIDN9tjSiEyw?feat=directlink
Okay must share one of my husband’s inapropriate phrases…it’s called the “One Shoe On” customer service motto.
When he is in the Atlanta airport waiting to start work he always eats at the same burrito place. When it’s too early for lunch he goes to the only open counter–McDonalds. The gal who works the counter (I guess every day,) greets him over her cell phone conversation with, “One Shoe On?” She’s saying “What you want?” but he said it took him about 2 months to figure that out.
Oh the inner joy a fresh, well waited for, pepperoni pizza brings is amazing. Glad y’all we’re able to experience true N’awlans cuisine (and people!).
Very funny story…it amazes me that service can still be so poor in the current economy
My brother drives for dominoes on Friday and Saturday night so your story really gave me a laugh. Especially, because since we were teenagers I have always felt like the guy on the phone when it came to Dominoes. As for the quality of their pizza I think it is far below 4 day old fried chicken. (My Italian grandmother spoiled me on anything but homemade pizza forever). However, for the sake of my dear brother, we endure the stuff at least once a month. Besides, the kids love when he drives up with his Domino light on the car. CP
OK, this is pretty ironic – I’m sitting here eating a slice of left over Dominoes pizza for breakfast, while I read this post. We ordered pizza last Friday night (four day old left over pizza is safe, right?) and I decided it was the last time I’m ever ordering Dominoes. Terrible. I’m pretty sure they now use fake cheese.
I’m officially a Pizza Hut girl now. And you were a LOT nicer than I would have been. I can stand just about anything but the eye rolling. Terrible pizza is one thing. Eye rolling is another.
Seriously, you can turn something so small into a real funny blog post, that’s what I love about you, haha!!! :O)
I was in New Orleans for Living Proof Live, too, and we had to wait over an hour at the restaurant next to our hotel, which was not at all crowded. (I guess that should have been a warning to us.) And all we ordered were hamburgers and hot dogs. Actually, we ordered sliders, which turned out to be a regular size meat patty cut into smaller pieces and placed on a cut-up hot dog bun. Fancy!! And the weinies in the hot dogs were cut in half. They apparently like to cut up things. The food was OK, but NOT worth the LONG wait. We did warn some ladies who came in to LEAVE NOW if they wanted to eat anytime soon.
Good Lawd, Have Moicy!
I think I’d about jumped the counter and made the pizza myself!
Have a good day!
Big Mama in the Big Easy. I’m sure I’m the very first person to come up with that!
You have GOT to send this post to the Dominoes home office……You’ll probably get free pizza for a year….if you can wait that long!!!
WOW!! Just WOW.
I can’t believe you waited that long! I realize it made for a great story, but weren’t you the teensiest bit tempted to go up to that lovely Domino’s girl and get all…um…assertive on her? I know I would have been.
Then again, I get reallll cranky when I’m hungry.
For real, I was reading that and asking myself, how you do it… How can you keep my attention about waiting for a pizza. For real WRITE A BOOK
Check out Rachel Zoe’s Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-Zoe/131919125415?ref=ts
Sounds like you got a taste of real New Orleans customer service.
My favorite experience is when I went to a Rally’s by the school and ordered a Dr. Pepper, only to pull up to the window to have a 300 pound angry woman yell out, “We ain’t GOT NO Dr. Pepper!”
I am not a big fan of pizza but a big fan of good food which is why I make my next statement…………
………..your were in New Orleans and you went to a Dominos!
Mhewm.
Whsqo baielsk tovx!
WILL. NEVER. FORGET. IT.
OK so very funny……which your stories always are!!!!
Welcome back….
Histerical. Love it!
When we were on vacation in Pigeon Forge, TN, we went to a restaurant called the Great American Steak and Buffet Company only to find out that there wasn’t a single American on staff! We had the hardest time getting our drink order. They must not have ever heard of Sprite in Sweden or wherever that poor girl was from. Turns out it wasn’t American at all. Or even great for that matter.
They will deliver to your hotel, just never give them your room number. Meet them in the lobby.
That was so funny. It’s amazing how good food tastes when you wait forever for it!
Oh gosh! This reminds me of the time my nearly 80 vigilante grandparents went to Burger King and encountered quite a long wait for food and many disgruntled patrons. They couldn’t figure it out until they attempted to order their burgers, only to be told, “we ain’t got no buns.” My normally very straight-laced grandfather, knowing this was the source of the long lines, turned around and yelled, “they ain’t got no buns,” to the whole place. They tell me everyone was very appreciative.
Can you imagine if you waited all that while, only to find that Dominos didn’t have any dough!?
I did not know that a wait at Domino’s could be so funny! Thanks for sharing
.
We once waited at a Burger King off the interstate for an hour and then asked for our money back, at that point, she said they had forgotten all about us and did we still want our food.
I’m hoping y’all watched 24 last night and am dying to hear ow P reacted to the twist that was revealed in the last 3 minutes. Do tell!
to clarify that was actually “how P reacted”
GRRRRR! How frustrating! The other day at the McDonald’s drive-through the worker apoligized to us for the ‘wait’… It was seriously about 30 seconds. Talk about good service!
Hi, I’ve been blurking and I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog!
oh my….i have been boycotting dominos since the 92 election and actually threw almost a whole one out shortly after we got married…hubby didnt know about my boycott…
i do hear he has ordered from them twice in ohio recently…i told him i hoped he was on his death bed to do such a thing…LOL
glad your back!!!
steff
Hi Melanie,
I saw this headline and prayed that this wasn’t the New Orleans Domino’s!
“Domino’s Pizza: Workers Who Videotaped Themselves Passing Gas on Food Face Arrest”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,516021,00.html
If you haven’t already seen it……search for Bon Qui Qui on YouTube. You’ll love it!!
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