So last week I mentioned that there had been some things going on at work, and I had to fly to Dallas to take care of, well…business. Here’s the story.
Two weeks ago, I received a call from my manager letting me know she received a call from our Human Resources department to inform her they had some questions about things related to my work performance and needed both of us to fly to Dallas so they could question and/or fire me in person.
And no, I couldn’t be more vague…but discretion is the only way to tell this story or else I might find myself in the HR department again.
The things in question were completely false and were completely due to computer error. I knew this, my manager knew this, but my fear was that this lady in HR, who doesn’t know me from Adam, wouldn’t know this and there wasn’t necessarily any way for me to prove anything.
The best part was they scheduled this career deciding meeting a full week and a half from the initial phone call, which really allowed an abundance of time for me to do what I do best, completely stress and freak out.
I got off that phone call with my manager and in 2.8 seconds had P and I living on the streets with no health insurance. I am, by the way, an insurers’ dream come true because the thought of no insurance COMPLETELY freaks me out and I will sign up for any policy within a five hundred mile radius.
I am obviously a risk taker by nature.
So, I hang up the phone and walk out to tell P about the phone call. Seeing that all the blood has completely drained from my face and that I’m hyperventilating, he intuitively knew that something very bad had happened, such as losing my job or overplucking my eyebrows again.
The news of our imminent homelessness came pouring out of my mouth, as he sat and listened to me talk. When I was finally drained and quiet, he looked at me and said, “It will be okay. God’s in control”.
Umm, yeah…I knew that.
And the thing is I do know that, but in that moment and throughout the following week and a half, I had times that I completely forgot. I let fear completely grip me, instead of letting God’s peace envelop me.
In short, I was the Bode Miller of Christian faith. Remember Bode Miller? The skier in the Winter Olympics last year that was supposed to win all the medals? He was the best, he had tons of experience, he was the media favorite, and when it came time for the biggest event of his career…he choked. He didn’t win one medal.
That’s me. I have experience. I’ve walked with Christ for fifteen years. He’s blessed me with a great husband, beautiful daughter, wonderful friends and a happy home. He’s carried me through the lonely days of being a new college graduate in a town where I knew no one, bad job situations, deaths of people I love, and a heartbreaking miscarriage. I know Him. I have tested Him and He has always proved faithful. Always.
In turn, I am so quick to prove faithless. In the Olympics of Christianity, I wouldn’t even get a bronze medal based on my reaction to what was going on in my life.
The day for the meeting finally came and I knew that I was covered in prayer. I was able to walk into that meeting knowing and believing that God was in control. As we sat down in this ominous conference room and the HR lady opened her file, I felt a sense of calm wash over me.
She presented me with the first piece of evidence that showed potential wrongdoing on my part and I was able to reasonably explain what had happened. It was good, but still put me in a situation of my word against someone else’s. Then, she showed me the next piece of evidence and as I was trying to figure out what could have happened, my manager was looking at her calendar and realized that she had been with me at the precise time and date this had occurred and there was a written report from months earlier that documented what she said was true.
I realize this is all a little vague, but the bottom line is that this is not a coincidence. I see my manager about once every two months, so for her to be with me at this specific time can only be described by saying God totally had the situation covered.
He was in control.
Imagine that.
At a time where He knew my heart and saw all of my fear, He totally took care of me beyond anything I could have imagined. And most importantly, this whole turn of events has served as a catalyst for me to think bigger than myself, to quit looking at what I can tangibly see and to take the leap to see my life and potential through God’s eyes.
That’s the kind of faith I want…mature and complete, not lacking anything. So that the next time a test comes, and it’s just a matter of time, I will let go of my fear and take hold of Christ. And know, that even if there is no comprehensive health insurance, He’s got it under control.