On Monday night, P and I were sitting in bed watching “24″. A commercial came on and so I had a moment to reflect on how incredible Jack continues to look in spite of his exposure to biological weapons. He really is holding up beautifully other than the occasional tremor that conveniently manages to arise right when he’s about to do something really important.
Anyway, while I was thinking about Jack’s phenomenal resilience, P turns to me and asks, “Have you read anything about radiant barrier paint?”
“Hi. Have we met? What makes you think I even know what that means?”
(Or that if I ever stumbled across an article about something called “radiant barrier paint” that I’d take the time to read unless I saw the words “Jennifer Garner” or “Rachel Zoe”)
“It means radiant barrier paint. It’s paint that makes a surface heat-resistant. They use it on the space shuttle and I’m thinking about buying some.”
“Well of course you are. I’ve always said that if it’s good enough for the space shuttle, then it’s good enough for us.”
“I’m serious. I’m going to buy some and paint the entire attic with it to help keep the house cool. It’ll cut down on our utility bill.”
“That’ll be nice since there’s a good chance you’ll die if you go up in the attic for any length of time this year. I’ll appreciate the economic savings.”
Then “24″ came back on and that was the end of the discussion.
However, I walked into the house the next day and overheard P on the phone with someone discussing radiant barrier paint. He was talking to a man named Jacob from Jacob’s Ladder Construction (so clever!) about getting an estimate to have our attic painted with radiant barrier paint. Let’s just say that the estimate was more than I was willing to spend, but considering I’m willing to spend between approximately zero and ten dollars to have my attic outfitted like the space shuttle, that’s not really saying much.
P came in yesterday afternoon and announced he was going to do it himself. And since it was only 107 degrees in the shade, he decided it was a good time to go up in the attic and figure out a plan of attack. I wanted no part of any of it other than to sit on the couch and make jokes referencing “Coal Miner’s Daughter” because this is what he looked like.
So while he sweated up in the attic, I sat in the air-conditioning and called out helpful things such as, “There ain’t nothin’ in Kentucky for me except a chest full of coal dust and being an old man before I’m forty” and “Daddy, Doolittle’s done throwed me out” and because I was on a roll and couldn’t stop myself “Who’s that sow you got wallowin’ in your Jeep?”
I just do what I can to be supportive.
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Seriously? You can BUY that paint? Your man is brilliant!
Wow. They sure latch on to an idea don’t they. Wish him the best of luck and you an ample supply of one liners!
Now I know who Caroline looks like.
Sissy/Loretta ‘shore’ had the lines,
didn’t she? “Woman, if you wanna keep
that arm, you better get it off my
husband.”
Is his shirt wet with man sweat? Ewwww!
Oh, there’s nothing like waking up in the morning and reading about Loretty!
I love this. You two are adorable.
Did he start “growlin’ like a old bar”?
Just fix him a bologna sandwich
Well normally I don’t take the time to comment, but today I just have to say “YOU ARE HILARIOUS!” Thank you for always cracking me up over my morning cup of java. We share a similiar, twisted sense of humor – and apparently a love for Coal Miner’s Daughter. (But you left out any comments about the bologna/baloney)
Just be grateful that he doesn’t want to build a parabolic trough out of spare car parts, tin foil and plexiglass like my husband does. (to reduce energy costs) And hopefully P doesn’t read your comments or he might get a new idea.
Your little girls looks exactly like her Daddy.
I can’t belive he was serious. Let me know how that works out for yall!
)
Does he know that if he really wants to play astronaut he can Tweet with them in space right now? I’m sure they could tell him all he wants to know about the barrier paint.
Spitting image…down to the close-mouthed grin.
PS – “I may be ignorant, but I ain’t stupid!”
I love that movie~ Seriously, on my blog, I refer to the fact that we live in Butcher Holler, NC~! I was cracking up over your movie quotes. I had NO idea about the paint, and please let us know if it actually works to cut down that power bill. And YES Caroline looks just like her Daddy!
Great post!
Heather in Butcher Holler
Dang…somebody said the bear line before me. I can’t help but watch that movie everytime it comes on. Then for weeks on end I annoy my husband with my new accent.
Seriously though…fumes+hot attic does does not sound safe.
What a plethora of support you are!
He looks hot. Why do they do this stuff to themselves? And I hope he doesn’t suffocate up there from the paint fumes and no air. Maybe you should get him a fan or something.
All I have to say is that coal miners daughter is the best movie ever made!!!
“Oh darlin, I think we found somethin you know how to do!”
“Get in there an wipe all that make up off your face Loretty, I don’t like it”
It really warms my heart to hear of other devoted wives who live their days to support their husbands. Just this week, I have devoted myself to giving my husband play-by-plays on the appearance of the pimple on his cheek. I’ve offered to cook it dinner, asked if it needed an extra pillow … you know, anything it takes to let my hubby know that I NOTICE and I CARE : )
I’ve always seen the resemblance between yourself and Caroline, but now I have to say I was wrong … she’s all daddy’s girl!
now that there is a handsome hunk of man!!!
PS. My dad actually worked in a coal mine once – but only for two days cuz he said that’s all it took for him to know he wasn’t meant to be a coal miner.
So now he’s just an old mountain man enjoyin’ life – liven in the mountain holler where they really do talk like that
Oh, girl, you do make me laugh! Just what I needed to start the day off well…
Thanks for that….
P.S. And now all he needs to complete that almost perfect outfit is the model F-107 gasmask…..what with the heat and the paint fumes and all!
(that sounds like something Christina Applegate would’ve said during the fashion show portion of Adventures in Babysitting! LOL)
Oh no! Please don’t let P tell A that he did this. He has been trying to convince me its worth the $$$ since last summer…
Okay, wrong movie, I think….I think it was Don’t tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead… not Adventures in Babysitting. *sigh* I haven’t had my caffeine yet! As soon as I hit “submit” I flashed on Elisabeth Shue’s face and knew I had it wrong. Oh, well….
Have a great day anyway!
OMG, this made me laugh! Thanks so much. I needed it. I spent a lot of my growing up years in Knoxville Tennessee, and folks round there actually talked like that movie. [Well, some of them, not the Oak Ridge rocket scientists.]
The brassy redheaded gal in the bar outside the Grand ‘Ol Opry that talks to Doolittle was in a play at a dinner theatre and I was in the cast also. So I always get a thrill seeing Jackie in that scene. She was a prima donna in Hello Dolly with me. Hey, that would make a funny story title: Dinner Theater Prima Donna! LOL
That’s one of those movies I need to buy! I already have Walk the Line!
I did not know there was such a thing- you’ll have to let us know how many cute dresses you get to buy with the money you save on your utility bills. That is fascinating!
I love this: “It means radiant barrier paint.” Yes, that explains it.
Yesterday when I picked up my daughter at the babysitter, the babysitter’s husband was talking about how a Jiffy Lube tried to scam him one time or something. And he looked out the door at my car and then looked at me and said, “You have RAM air, right?”
And I said, “Hahahaha! Why would I know something like that?”
Seriously, people.
Don’t tease him too much or he might move you to a cabin on hill in Butcher Holler – where you’ll be poor, but you’ll have love!
I’m confused. How would painting the attic make it less hot? Is the barrier paint on the outside of the shuttle? Makes sense when it comes back into the atmosphere.
Another question: Why does he have a headlight thingy anyway?
OMG you crack me up! And how in the world did he come up with the idea in the first place?!?
Oh my goodness, I’m laughing my face off. At least know if your house ever catches on fire, you’ll still have that attic
By the way, I like those 2 blue plates on your wall.
THAT was hilarious !!! I was laughing long before I got to the end, but oh sister….anybody that quotes Loretta– well, you’re my kind of people. I read your blog every day. I love it every day. I just don’t comment every day.
Thanks for brightening my day daily.
And we expect a full report on the economic savings from P’s endeavor! And you might anticipate a coal miner’s headlight from P for your birthday!
You need to write a book, Melanie. I’m serious. I love that photo of him (Caroline is the spitting image) and I love starting my day with Big Mama.
I can’t believe he would go up in the attic on a hot day. We don’t go near the attic when it is 80 out and it was 90 yesterday in N. Texas. We had that paint put on our attic. It is wonderful! Our electric bill went down $200 a month for June, July & August. We like to hang meat in our house and by we I mean my husband. So our electric bill going down was what it cost to have the paint and extra insulation put in the attic. So when it is 117 outside here in N. Texas, it is a very cool 72 inside and no extra work on the air conditioner to keep it that way.
Two years ago my husband painted our attic with this magic paint. He got it at Sherwin Williams (the only place besides NASA that it could be purchased at the time). He rented a sprayer and went up there to take care of the job. When he came down, he looked like the tin man and that lasted about 3 days. The energy bills are lower so I guess it was worth having Bling Husband for a while.
Why are you SO funny, Big Mama? HA!!!
Very funny post. My husband is a Sales Rep for Sherwin Williams Paint, and he says this is actually a great idea, would work, and they sell a product called E-Barrier for this very purpose.
So there ya go!
Please ask him this, because I want to know the answer, but would it not make more sense to paint the roof tiles with this paint?
Between your repainting the backhouse and his attic project it seems as though you are a match made in heaven!
I think its great to see a manly man doing the manly things. He’s a keeper!
Men. You can’t live with ‘em and you can’t shoot ‘em.
“Kids hesh up! Your Mama’s fixin’ to sang!”
Oh my word. What P is doing is exactly what my father would do.
Down. To. The. Letter.
It’s moments like these that I wish I had a husband just so I could pass the time making fun of him…
haha you are just so so helpful!
Ok, so you will have to do a follow-up post on this and let us know how P survived all the painting and insulation ick. And if it actually saves on your electric bills.
You crack me up!
There’s nothing like painting an attic….in 107degree weather(in the shade)…while wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants. Was the paint keeping your house so cool that he felt he needed all those clothes?
ps Ok, I can’t actually tell if he was wearing pants or shorts. Pants just goes better with the above statement!
This was so funny!
Love the quotes for the movie from you and many of your readers.
Caroline looks like you, too but she is spitten image of dad.
BTW – I forgot to mention my friend and I have done 2 days of the Shred and my body is in shock! It is screaming “What tha Heck”
Remember when asbestos seemed like such a good idea?
This is SO something my husband would do. Wow. I don’t think I’ll mention this type of paint to him. Plus, we currently live in the freakin’ arctic so that paint wouldn’t do much for us.
P.S.- love the new summery look your blog is sportin’
Ha ha ha…..I’m laughing just as much at all of the comments to this post as to the original post itself.
People are funny!!!!
:0 Keep put it out there sister!
Kelly
You forgot “Hey, Dew, come do my har (hair).”
Cracking up! “Hi, have we met?…”
We moved in to our first house about a year ago, and in true CA fashion it has a crawl space underneath about a foot and a half high. My husband keeps (seriously) saying he’s going to go crawl around down there and just ‘check it out’ to make sure there isn’t anything living under our house. Not sure what he would do on his stomach if he found an opossum or something else living in there… He did go buy a gas mask and one of those disposable suits that you put on over your clothing like Mike Rowe in Dirty Jobs always wears. I think he’s going to actually do it one day.
As long as he doesn’t install cargo bay doors, because that would just look tacky.
I don’t know the cost difference, but they do make radiant barrier panels that can be placed between the rafters. It might be easier… Good Luck!
We had the panels in our house in Houston and every worker that had to go into the attic commented that they noticed it was cooler than other attics.
Ohmygoodness – Caroline looks exactly like P — and all this time, I thought she looked like you! Such an adorable family, you three are!
Seriously, I’m laughing out loud. And, I just went and read your About Me section for the first time and realized you’re a Fightin’ Texas Aggie, too! Class of ’01 in da house!!!
Gig ‘Em!
WOW! Can you say spittin’ image of her Daddy? I guess that I’ve not seen a picture of your husband before. He’s like a bigger, taller, man-version of your little princess. How adorable you guys are!
Love from Michigan,
Laura
i SO have to add that to our netflix list! i haven’t seen it in forever!
The convenient thing about having a space shuttle attic is the absolute necessity to eat those astronauty Dippin’ Dots!
P.S. love the color makeover. It’s extremely figure flattering
I am new to this blog…but boy oh boy I will be coming back again and again…you are a HOOT!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE reading! Thanks for all the smiles!
The guys who painted our attic came in space suits with respirators…..
Oh – that was GOOD!
Is P an engineer? My husband is an engineer and that is such an engineering thing to do. They always think about the heat transfer, and the fluids going through the sewer pipes, and the insulation in the walls, and don’t give a fig about the ratty old carpet or broken tiles. It’s never about aesthetics, but always about efficiency. Gotta love those guys!
What is it with men and these head lamp things? Last night mine was wearing one on in the backyard while he was starting a fire and grilling a hamburger. I took his picture because someday he’s going to have one of those milestone birthdays again, and I’ve got to be prepared.
My husband has that exact same headlight. He longs for natural disasters when the lights will go out to wear his.
I am so glad to know my spouselet isn’t the only one.
Melanie, I am still laughing so hard over your discussion of the paint – “since i am willing to spend between 0 and 10 dollars to have my attic outfitted like the space shuttle….” you kill me.
Does space shuttle paint come in various colors or just standard silver and/or white? If you suggested hot pink paint and adding air conditioning to the attic, thus forming a “creative workspace” for you, I’ll bet P. would drop it like a hot potato.
Let us know if it cuts down on your electricity bill!!
You are soo supportive! HA! That is hilarious!
THAT WAS FUNNY MY WIFE WILL BE HAPPY IF I DO IT MYSELF
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