**Apparently there was some kind of glitch with my blog and I couldn’t access my dashboard for the last twenty-four hours. It was probably God’s way of trying to save me from posting the most boring post in the history of blogging, but since it’s already written, I’m going to post it anyway because it’s either that or I can tell you what I had for breakfast.**
(Yogurt with granola and berries)
I’ve been sitting here for an hour trying to think of a clever way to start this post which is basically a recap of our uneventful weekend, but it’s hard for me to concentrate because P is sitting next to me in bed eating a huge bowl of ice cream and watching “CSI: Miami”. To be honest, I don’t know what makes me angrier, the fact that he’s eating a huge bowl of ice cream without a care in the world about how he’ll look in a swimsuit or Horatio and his overly dramatic line delivery.
Actually, it’s the ice cream that makes me angry. Although those three blueberries I had for dessert were delicious and totally satisfying.
So I won’t keep you in suspense any longer, here’s what we did this weekend.
On Friday night, Caroline spent the night with Mimi and Bops. They picked her up about 4:30 and I decided to celebrate my freedom by going to get a pedicure. We had a wedding to attend on Saturday night (more on that in a minute) so I wanted my toes to look nice since all of a sudden my face thinks it’s going through puberty and is breaking out. My hope was that a lovely shade of Cha-Ching Cherry on my toes would serve as a distraction from my walking ad for the tragic consequences of late 30’s hormonal shifts.
The pedicure would have been completely divine except they had the channel tuned to some show on Animal Planet about a dog with mange. I tried not to look but the pedicurist (I think I just made that word up) kept giving me graphic descriptions of the dog’s condition and maybe it’s just me but I don’t want to hear the word “scab” while I’m trying to relax.
After the pedicure, I picked up Mexican food for P and me. Sadly, the restaurant was out of queso which I don’t really understand since cheese is the building block of Mexican cuisine.
P’s back has really been bothering him lately and since I can’t convince him to go back to the acupuncturist, he spent a lot of the weekend in bed with his feet propped up trying to relieve the pressure. I keep telling him he should try acupuncture again, but he knows me well enough to know I may just be looking for new blog material.
Anyway, he spent Friday night in the bedroom watching various shows about weaponry and “The Bourne Supremacy” while I sat on the couch, admired my toes, and watched Season 1 of “Mad Men”.
Dear Mad Men Wardrobe Department:
I love you with all my heart and would like to run my fingers through your closets. My world is a happier, brighter place just knowing you exist in all your fabulousness. You complete me.
Adoringly,
Melanie
On Saturday night we were supposed to attend a friend’s wedding, but P’s back was really bothering him and we decided it was going to be too much. I thought about doping him up on painkillers but decided to save them for the new season of “The Bachelorette” because you know I’m going to need them.
(Side note to Jules who is on her honeymoon and probably not reading this: We love you and I know you were a beautiful bride.)
Anyway, I fixed my hair before we decided we shouldn’t go, so I told P I needed to run to HEB to pick up dog food because I hated to waste good hair and decided it should at least get out of the house for a few minutes. The cashiers didn’t seem to notice at all which is disappointing considering I used over sixteen bobby pins to achieve the perfect messy twist. I came back home so my hair and I could spend the rest of the evening eating pizza and watching Nascar with P.
Sometimes I think marriage is just all glitz and glamour.
On Sunday morning, I skipped church because the rain blew in pollen from every corner of the western United States and it was waging war on my sinuses. I don’t like to be overly dramatic but I think the only thing that kept me from death was a Zyrtec-D and three Diet Cokes.
Caroline spent most of the afternoon begging to go swim at the neighborhood pool while I kept telling her it was way too cold after all the rain. I finally gave in and told her we could go but she needed to know that I was not getting in the water for any reason barring global thermonuclear attack. It took us thirty minutes to get ready to go to the pool and three minutes for her to decide I was right. She tried to deny it but the blue lips gave her away.
In retrospect, if this weekend had a theme it would be getting ready for various events only to sit at home and do absolutely nothing.
Who knew it took this much work to be a hermit?
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It’s exhausting to be a hermit, I agree.
Horatio’s. Dramatic. Line. Deliveries. Are……Infuriating.
I know what you mean…good hair is meant to be SEEN and appreciated. I think that as long as I do not come home with racing stripes cut into the side of my head, my husband would never notice what I do; however, I want someone to!
When I read your post title, my heart stood still for a second – a blog post about Herman’s Hermits? My obsession in the 60′s? The group I made a scrapbook for, painstakingly cutting up my “Tiger Beat” magazine for pictures of Herman? But then I realized you are too young to really know about Herman’s Hermits – from personal experience anyway. But I enjoyed your post anyway. I always do!
Scabs are gross. Cha-Ching Cherry is not. I’d say your weekend was a success!
No queso?!! Shouldn’t they have posted a sign warning you about the shortage before you bothered to go in?
Oh how I love the Bourne movies. They made Matt Damon a stud in that movie. I have always wondered how a mexican restaurant can be out of cheese? That has happened to us too! BTW, thanks for helping me spend my birthday money at Banana Republic, that wasabi green shirt is super comfy and they have a ton of other cute clothes, thankfully they were having a sale, a small one but a sale nonetheless!
Well, that’s the last time I read your blog while eating breakfast! Except, maybe this will help my quest to lose a few pounds.
Somehow you made the most boring blog post ever not boring at all!
I love the weekends where I sleep in, get up, take a shower, put on clean pajamas, watch TV and nap all day…except that I haven’t had one of those days in a year… or five. Here’s to a more exciting weekend next week!
so funny. at least you have a pretty pedicure to show for it!
2 random comments:
- yogurt with granola and berries is my new favorite breakfast. this morning i realized i had run out of granola and sprinkled some LIFE cereal on my yogurt instead. GHET-TO.
- the Mexican place with no cheese reminded me of once in college when my best friend and i went to KFC (probably at some insane hour of the night) and they told us they had run out of CHICKEN. and that was before Oprah had anything to do with it.
Oh the bitter disappointment of children living in the south when it is 80 degrees and they swear they will die of heat exhaustion…only to get to the pool and realize it is FREEZING. My boys can hardly wait for the pool to open next week just so they can make me go to all the work of spending 3 minutes in the water…if they get in at all. M.
How is it possible that you can make an ordinary weekend of married life so entertaining?
If it makes you feel any better, I also enjoyed the Saturday evening glitz and glamour that is Nascar. All I know is that I’m ecstatic my future next husband, Dale Jr., was unable to see the rib juice and BBQ sauce dripping from my chin while I watched him finally have a good race. Of course, it would only figure it wasn’t for points…
Oh gracious, it seems I have actually been brainwashed. Must go tell hubby he was successful…
I laughed out loud during your “boring” post. I love your sense of humor. Thanks for making me laugh five days a week. I look forward to you posts each day. Hope you and P are both feeling better!
In the infamous words of Carrie Bradshaw: “All dressed up and nowhere to go.” I’m sure the employee at HEB thought you achieved the perfect messy updo but didn’t realize it till you left.
Yogurt with granol and berries for breakfast? Who are you and what have you done with Melani? I bet Jillian (the trainer, NOT the bachelorette) brainwashed you. Unless I have my coffee & cream with some sort of hot form of carb, the sun does not rise in this household.
Chiropractor Baby! Get your man one. My dad, who is a chiropractor, knows several good ones in Houston if you need a recommendation.
The last time I had a pedicure the pedicurists were watching a Vietnam war movie and to beat all they were oriental and discussing the movie or making fun of my friend and I in a language that we could in no way understand. So we sat there trying to relax to gunfire and strange language. Not ever doing that again, but we got a good laugh about it later!
Congratulations, you are the recipient of the One Lovely Blog Award. Please check out my post at http://fatherisaking.blogspot.com/2009/05/im-very-pleased-and-thankful-to-my-dear.html
God bless,
Jennifer
Even your recap of a boring weekend made me laugh!
I use to have what I called “hermit days”. I didn’t want to be near anyone or talk to anyone. I am sure I still long for them but it is impossible to have them with a 3 year old.
Ha!!! Love it! I know all about the whole getting ready to go somewhere thing. I have 5 and 2 year olds, and by the time I’ve gotten everything together to go wherever it is we’re going, I’m exhausted!
By the way, it’s terribly coincidental that I had the same breakfast as you!
Some of that pollen must have stayed here in DC because it attacked me as well! Wish you had pictures of the blue lips. Too funny!
We have a friend who calls Horatio the Carusobot – but you know when he puts on his sunglasses at the end of the show that all is right with the world…
Oooh–I like the spring colors.
I thought you were going to spout off about ‘enry the 8th. Wasn’t that Herman and the Hermits?
Wow that sounds like my uneventful weekend. Except I must have missed the class on “how to use a bobby pin” because the THOUGHT of trying to fix my hair in a messy twist myself makes me want to bury my head in queso…if there’s any left.
Don’t we get to see a picture of the perfect messy twist?
I personally like Horatio. And how dare they no post somewhere that there was no cheese??? I mean seriously. no cheese? Sacrilege!
I am so glad my hubby is not the only one who watches “The Bourne Supremacy”! The only thing I AM wondering is if he watches it OVER AND OVER!!! I swear, it is on Satallite and on my TV once a week!!!
Yogurt with granola and berries has been my breakfast of choice lately too!
1. My husband bought one of those back things that makes you hang upside down; he loves it. I am married to Batman.
2. We went to Yosemite a week ago and my crazy husband and kids waded in Mirror Lake- I was told it was mind-numbing cold. Duh- that’s what fresh melted snow feels like!
3.I think it was very poor form for the lady to have a TV on period when you are there for some pampering- but Animal Planet?! Get a job at PetSmart.
I wish I lived in the same neighborhood as you. Your P and my T could watch weaponry shows (is P also a fan of Fox News or ESPN, by any chance?) and we could go to Target and be seen with our fabulous hair.
Also, is it wrong that as I was reading your post I just kept wishing that my mom or my in-laws would keep my girls overnight??
Thank you for making “boring” sound like “contentment.” It makes me smile.
Bummer. Many times over. I’m glad you’ve recovered enough to blog about it.
Hugs for your Monday!
Thanks for the Monday afternoon pick me up…nothing like reading a blog that makes me feel normal! Love you girl! And heres to an evening of Bacherlorette!!
Cha-Ching Cherry is my new favorite nail polish! Isn’t it just too cute?
10 years ago, if someone would have told me:
A) You’re going to read a blog everyday by a woman you’ll never meet
B) She’ll talk about what she did for the weekend – like getting mexican food and going swimming
C) …and you’ll LOVE every word of it
I would have thought they were crazy!
But, here I am…totally devoted to you Big Mama! Even hearing about your pedicures is entertaining to me!
I think that means MY life is more boring than yours! haha Love ya!
Amy
Like Beck B above, I too, am sadly old enough to know about Herman’s Hermits, although I wasn’t exactly scrapbook crazy about them. That’s why the title caught my eye.
Thanks for a fun to read blog post.
I feel your pain with the sinuses. Feels like the left side of my head has been slammed into a wall. Hope P is feeling better. Nothing worse than a sick hubby.
Sometimes the idea of being a real live hermit is incredibly tempting. I hate the 30 minutes it takes to get out the door. I swear less goes into a shuttle launch sequence. sigh.
Oh and I feel ya on the pollen. Good glavin, what is it this year? I don’t remember having spring allergies. I’m pretty sure I say that every year though…
Yeah . .. the ice cream thing totally kills me too.
I have to agree with Musings of a Housewife. You didn’t make your bed-ridden hubby take a pic of your perfect hair?
Also, I LOVE Mad Men and can’t wait for it to start coming back on again!
Finally, pizza and tv sounds like a pretty good night to me! lol!
crackin’ me up! thanks for sharing once again! You make me smile!
I am pretty sure I must now investigate Cha-Ching Cherry because it sounds right up my alley. As for the scabs…I guess that is one bright side to having a pedicurist who doesn’t speak English? They might be talking crap about you but at least they aren’t going to talk about scabs on a mange-y dog (or if they do, you won’t be bothered! hehe)
If you thought season one’s clothes on Mad Men were great just wait until season 2!!! Betty wears this dress with polka dots for a dinner party and I would give my right arm to own it!! Mad Men is the best show on TV followed closely by Breaking Bad.
Too funny! Pure genius in this post.
And my face has also decided that puberty was so much fun it would revisit it. I happen to disagree, but have no power. Ugh. What is up with that phenomenon, anyway? And truly, why is it so that the husband can eat the big bowl of ice cream and not only not gain weight, but actually lose weight? Is it somehow related to Genesis 3:16? Big Mama, in all of your wisdom, do you have answers for these questions? Or can you just give us more commentary that will cause us to laugh out loud, which helps to make things right again?
That was good. J had to miss Nascar Sat. night because of my mom’s birthday dinner, but thank goodness he DVRed all 400 or 500 laps of it.
I like the new colors on the blog… Sassy!
Oh Big Mama, gotta love weekends like those. And the acne.
I’m a nurse and my back likes to give me fits sometimes, too. My neighbor, Greg, who is a handyman does alot of outdoor work that’s hard on his back. He gave me this machine the other night to try for the ole’ work weary back, and it did work some wonders for me. It’s called the True Back, so I thought I’d pass it on. You can find it at https://www.trueback.com/.
I’m no doctor, I can only speak to the precious relief it’s brought to me. Have a great rest of the week!
I just had to post and tell you that I happened upon your blog and it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me! LOL! You make me laugh even though I am plagued with itchy, watery allergy eyes and a nasty runny nose to boot. I hope you have a wonderful week!
glad to know i’m not the only one that’s a walking ad for the tragic consequences of late 30’s hormonal shifts!
what is this show Mad Men???
Oh Melanie, I love your blog, but you and I have never seen eye to eye on entertainment.
Until this post. Bourne Supremacy and Mad Men in one sentence!!!! I love Bourne, but I loooooove Mad Men. I want to step into the tv and wander through the smoke filled office, just to be a little closer to that wonderful story. Don Draper is perfection in a suit.
I would not complain if you did an entire post on Mad Men.
Girl, you know I love H’s dramatic line deliveries. They totally work for me. Sorry about your mangy pedicure. That’s the worst!
HA! It is exhausting being a hermit, no!?
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