P and I spent almost every night last week re-watching “Band of Brothers”. The last time we’d watched it all the way through was the summer after Caroline was born. I remember it clearly because I was trying to lose the rest of my baby weight and I’d allow myself one York Peppermint Patty every night while we watched. I would unwrap that York Peppermint Patty, smell the foil packaging as if it were a fine wine, and then try to make it last as long as possible by eating it in about twenty small bites. I didn’t find it AT ALL annoying that P inhaled the rest of the bag and still managed to lose weight that summer.
And it’s hard to talk about the pain and sacrifice involved in eating only one chocolate mint treat while watching a show about World War II soldiers fighting in the harsh winter with no winter clothing and limited ammunition.
As we watched it all again over the last few days there were so many scenes that I’d forgotten. Scenes that reminded me of the sacrifices those men made for our freedom. They are what made our country great.
I’ll tell you what else makes our country great, the fact that ESPN actually televises a hot dog eating contest like it’s a real sporting event. Of course, in all fairness, competitive eating is totally a sport compared to, say, bowling or poker. My ninety-one year old grandmother can bowl or play some cards, but no way is she eating sixty-eight hot dogs in ten minutes.
Even though I’d heard about Nathan’s hot dog contest, I’d never actually witnessed it until Saturday morning. Caroline spent Friday night with Mimi and Bops so I’d spent most of my Saturday morning watching old episodes of “90210″ while P ran to Academy to buy some new goggles so he’d be properly outfitted for the beer scramble at the pool later that day.
(I just read back over that last sentence and, wow, being in your late thirties is exciting.)
Anyway, I got tired of listening to Brenda whine about Dylan right about the time P walked in the door, so I began flipping channels and happened upon the live-coverage of the hot dog eating contest. He sat down next to me on the couch and we began watching what was the most grotesque eating spectacle I’ve seen since the last time I volunteered for lunch duty in the kindergarten cafeteria. There aren’t too many other places where it’s socially acceptable to dip your food in water to liquefy it before you eat it.
I was disgusted. I was horrified. I couldn’t turn away.
The thing that really got me was when they showed stats under each contestant that listed other food competitions they’d won. I was compelled to read each item out loud to P, which I’m sure wasn’t annoying at all.
“That guy at 8.6 pounds of fried asparagus!”
“Oh my gosh, he ate 11 pounds of jambalaya in eight minutes!”
“That girl once at 46 crab cakes in ten minutes!”
“That guy ate 10 pounds of funnel cake in six minutes!”
At that point, P interrupted me and said, “I could totally eat 10 pounds of funnel cake in six minutes.” “In fact”, he continued, “I think if eating contests were a marathon instead of a sprint, I could take all these people down.”
I knew I married an ambitious man.
And, really, I think he could totally take them in any contest involving York Peppermint Patties. He has a gift.
We watched that too… out here in the boonies of Indonesia on our satellite ESPN on Sunday afternoon (not live, of course…) I was scrapbooking while hubby channel surfed and came across the hot dog eating contest. What a little slice of America – hot dogs on Coney island on 4th of July! It was pretty disgusting, but we just couldn’t turn away! Oh, and HE was the one reading all the captions to ME.
All I can say is Travel Channel’s “Man vs. Food”: That guy was in a challenge to eat a Boston Restaurant’s burger with 5 pounds of meat, 20 slices of cheese, 20 slices of bacon and 5 pounds of french fries. The winner is determined after an hour when they weigh the food that is left. Kept waiting for someone to do self-CPR on his chest to continue in the contest. Uncle Ted (Nugent) would be proud.
Give yourself some credit. I bet you could totally take down an opponent in the chips and queso category.
oh my word, we watched that too – and kept saying the whole time, “this is so disgusting, why are we even watching this?” But it was morbidly fascinating somehow. I just may not want to eat hot dogs for a very long time now…
Ack! We were at my mom’s for most of the weekend where cable is an expense unnecesary so I missed the contest and Spongebob. You must edit your post at the reference of the grotesque eating spectacular and volunteering at school lunch so your newer readers can click to the post where you reported kids sucking pinto bean juice through their straws!
That is one of my top five posts of yours I am sure! It made me laugh so hard my husband came from the other room to see what was amusing me so much. Have a great day!
*Gag*
My mouth waters when I see those contests…
….not in a drooling because it looks so yummy kinda way, more like the salivating before you feel something come up kinda way.
yuck.
I did, however, get a science lesson one time when my 15 year old son explained why they dip the bread in water. neat.
I’ll stick to bowling and lawn darts!
They were playing this on the TVs at Shane’s Rib Shack Saturday while we ate lunch! My 8 and 6 year old boys were fascinated! I’m just glad they didn’t try imitating those “table manners”. And I was very glad to have my back to the TV or I might not have been able to keep my Big Dad sandwich, fries, fried okra and mac ‘n cheese down. Wait,… maybe my table manners aren’t much better.
I am impressed with your self-control in eating only 1 peppermint patty. I remind myself of P.
I liked that one little girl who was projected to be able to eat her body weight in food by 2014. That whole thing was one grotesque spectacle. The most tense part was after the guy one, and the ESPN reporter was interviewing and kept slapping him on the back. I feared we were all going to see those 68 hotdogs again asap.
(Sorry, “won” not “one”)…
FYI, I won the patriotic hat decorating contest at our church picnic by decorating a fishing hat with a baseball, a hotdog and an apple pie. (The baseball was half of a styrofoam ball I found, which provided the inspiration – I drew stitching on it), the apple pie was an empty apple pie box, but the hot dog was the real thing! I waited until the last minute to hot glue the, uh, hot dog to the hat and discovered it is virtually impossible to hot glue a hot dog to anything. So I had to resort to a hot glue/tape combo. But I still blew away the competition! By the end of the picnic I also reeked and was being chased by dogs.
Is this a great country, or what?
I feel like I should raise my right hand and say, “My name is Kristi and I am married to a man that records that event every 4th of July.” Our family of 4 sat down and watched it too. I also gave play by plays of my disgust…my husband smiled larger than ever when our youngest daughter exclaimed that she would start training for the event at dinner time. Joy! Wonderful bonding moments to treasure…and then we almost caught the house on fire with our grilling ability! Happy 4th of July…a day to remember!
I was equally nauseated by the spectacle but then I couldn’t stop thinking about hot dogs until I had one for myself. It was even a Nathan’s, so that little bit of marketing actually WORKED! Ugh.
With no disrespect to your peppermint patties…have you tried the fun size 3 muskateer mint bars? They are so good. Dark chocolate with puffy white mint goodness….pick some up..try one. I gagged watching the replay on the news of the hotdog contest. UUgh.
Funny. Sounds like I missed a great show.
-FringeGirl
Did you see that the hot dog winner said he had been practicing hard? Practicing like it’s a sporting event. Except with the opposite effect. Only in New York.
Not a peppermint patty fan.
I’m all about the Peppermint Patties. To all that is good and holy–I love those things.
I, however, cannot watching eating contests. They gross me out. *shudder*
I watched a grotesque MTV True Life special on competitive eating once (okay, all the true life specials are grotesque,and yes I watched the CE one only once). Anyway! The work to stretch their stomachs out prior to the competitions. It’s really nasty!
Hi Big Mama –
I am so glad that we didn’t see that eating competition! Yeecchh! Your “recap” was more than enough!
I have a request: PLEASE do a midsummer “Fashion Friday” for those of us suffering from withdrawl!!!! What about one on purses and shoes only? I am seriously missing your comments/links. etc. on the state of the fashion world!
Thanks!
I’m so impressed with your self control over the mints- WOW.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, too funny! I so still watch 90210, haha!! And when P enters that eating contest, pictures are a must, haha!!
We had that same conversation at our house. My hubs was trying to convince me that he could be on America’s Got Talent for his eating skillz, but I pointed out that those people only get a minute to audition. My hubs would need to be on stage for a full hour, at the minimum, to show off his unending iron stomach eating prowess.
My hubby and I have been re-watching Band of Brothers too! It is so good!
If you think the late 30s are exciting, just wait till you get to your mid-40s!! Woo hoo!!
1. Ew.
2. The year I was living in the Congo on the 4th of July, we had a party for all 10 Americans in the city. Someone rigged the satellite to pick up CNN International and they were showing the hot dog eating contest. And it was seriously the best, most sentimental reminder of home I could’ve asked for. The sad part is that there we were in a country where 1200 people die of preventable causes every day and where more than half the families in our city take turns eating with family members having 1 meal every other day. The sight of pure gluttony made me homesick. I haven’t been able to watch the contest since.
yea, I’m married to one too! he watches some show where the guy eats the big stuff and always comments on which ones he thinks he could do… now that we live in West Texas he wants to go to Amarillo and try the big steak… told him we won’t be joining him at dinner that night.
You must be so proud! LOL!
)
I cannot watch those eating contests without gagging. And anything that makes me gag is not worth watching!! I have the 90210 DVDS and I never get sick of Brenda whining about Dylan.
The first five years of that show were the best, then it all went downhill.
The guy who won was on Are you Smarter than a 5th gGrader last week!!!
HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA too funny. I’m a relatively thin person, but I can pack away food. I’m with your husband on the marathon thing. I’m reasonably sure I’m one of those people who could actually eat the 72-ounce steak… or a whole pack of peppermint patties.
Not that I’m going to try. Because I would, in fact, gain weight.
i feel a need to send you a box of junior mints…the portion control would have been so much easier!
I am SO grateful that my six year old didn’t catch this on TV! His refined and erudite TV viewing tastes already include “Wipeout”, Nascar and Monster Truck racing. Hot dog eating would put him over the moon!
And I know this is disgusting, but all I could think of when you mentioned the guy who ate all that asparagus was that I’d hate to share a house with him…we all know what asparagus does to your pee. Imagine! Eww.
I did the same thing Saturday morning. Nothing celebrates the freedom of our country like hot dogs. We kept pausing it to see what they’d previously won. I probably should have been packing, since we’re moving in 2 weeks.
And we watched it, too. I saw the caption on the guy that won the asparagus contest.
ASPARAGUS???!!!
I totally love your blog and just had to comment on this…..we were eating at Roadhouse in College Station and I was facing the tv while this was on….not so good for the appetite!!!!
I love your memories of the York Peppermint Patties. “smelling the paper like fine wine” – love it. I bought a bag of mini patties for my kids to give as part of gifts to their classmates. Never made it- I ate them all. I had a lot of orders and stayed up late filling them. Late hours, peppermint patties and 10 pounds. Great Christmas memories.
Oh, my word – that hot dog eating contest was the grossest thing I have seen in a LONG time. I seriously had to turn away because, YUCK. I cannot believe that they televised that!!! I was standing with my back to the TV, talking to my husband, who was also behind my back because it was icky – I can’t believe you watched it!
Our family planned the day around the hot dog eating contest. Truly disgusting, but now my almost 5 year old has a new life’s ambition… She can’t wait to enter.
My husband DVRd it, and we watched it Sunday night. It was like a car wreck–we couldn’t take our eyes away. My husband wants to take on the Pork Rind eating contest. He could TOTALLY win that. Did you hear about the TRAINING.IN.THE.OFF.SEASON? Wow. That’s some hot-dog dedication!
every once in a while i land on “man vs food” and i can’t believe i actually stay to watch this man eat. eat. eat. how does he do this? and he doesn’t appear to be overweight, and yet he eats a 25lb hamburger in an hour?
amazing.