This time last week I had big dreams of spending an entire week doing nothing but sleeping late and watching a bunch of episodes of Scooby-Doo in between trips to the pool. It would be like my sophomore year of college all over again.
Instead, we ended up having a week filled with various activities that kept us busy. Unfortunately, none of those activities were actually on my official to-do list.
Not that I really have an official list, but if I did it’s safe to say that going over to Gulley’s house and eating Church’s chicken for lunch wouldn’t be on it. Although it totally should be.
The reality is that P has a list for me that includes things like getting my oil changed, taking my car to be inspected, and getting my tires rotated. How am I supposed to get all that done with my hectic pool schedule? It’s bad enough that the summer is already half over and I haven’t even started watching “Veronica Mars” on DVD which was totally going to be one of my summertime shows.
Anyway, our weekend didn’t turn out to be any less action-packed than the previous week, so I have big plans to stay in my pajamas until noon today. I’m not even ashamed to admit it.
The big drama in our weekend occurred Saturday evening. We’d met a bunch of our friends at the pool to swim and eat dinner. Unfortunately, it was the one hour in the entire summer that thunder was heard in the distance so the kids had to entertain themselves by just running around the pool area for the better part of an hour. They were having a great time playing hide and seek all around the men and womens’ bathrooms (ewww) while all the adults caught up on life. All of a sudden we hear shrieking. Loud shrieking. Loud shrieking that is coming from my child.
At first I thought she stubbed her toe but then my motherhood instincts told me she’d been stung by a bee, mainly because she was screaming, “I GOT STUNG BY A BEE! I GOT STUNG BY A BEE!” I ran over and picked her up because she’d actually stepped on the bee and it stung her on the bottom of her foot. As soon as I got her over to where we were sitting, I got her to show me exactly where she’d been stung while Gulley went all MacGyver on us, grabbed her credit card and used it to flick the stinger out of Caroline’s foot. I haven’t seen her use a credit card that fast since we were in college and she used her daddy’s card to buy some fab new boot shoes at Foley’s.
(They were worth every penny, too.)
I put some ice on the sting and applied some Benadryl which seemed to help. Oddly enough, this legitimately painful incident elicited far less drama and hysteria than we often experience when she’s discovered she left her favorite swimsuit at Mimi and Bops’ house. About ten minutes after the sting, the lifeguards blew the all-clear whistle to get back in the pool and she was off and swimming with her buddies.
They all agreed that P made a fantastic pool flotation device.
We swam until we shut the pool down and then headed home to get not nearly enough sleep before it was time to get up for church. I knew Caroline was tired yesterday afternoon when we were sitting on the couch watching the end of “Charlotte’s Web”. There was a winter scene that showed snow and all of a sudden she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mama, I’m just so sad that it never snows here. It just makes me so sad I’m going to cry.”
First of all, why are we concerned about snow when it’s 112 degrees outside? Secondly, if you’re going to get upset about something how about the universal health care plan? Third, how much fun is puberty going to be? Poor P is probably going to have to take some type of sedative to survive all the hormonal fluctuations in this house.
Yesterday afternoon we went back to the pool so we could all hang out again but this time we decided to bypass the pool grill for dinner because there is only so much popcorn shrimp prepared by cranky teens that you can eat in a lifetime. P decided it would be fun to have everyone back over to our house for burgers, so we left the pool a little early to get everything ready.
About twenty minutes later Gulley came hobbling into the house while the kids danced excitedly around her and announced that she’d stepped on a bee and got stung on the bottom of her foot. Fortunately, Caroline and Jackson had the presence of mind to run and get her credit card.
Fortunately for her, no one sells cute boot shoes at the pool so it’s safe to assume they only used it for medicinal purposes.
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where in heaven does Gulley keep her credit card? In her swimsuit? I’m totally unprepared for any disaster at the pool….any that requires plastic and benadryl anyway.
I love the comment about P maybe needing sedative in the coming years. No doubt. No doubt.
I am assuming that Gulley McGyver has a paper clip, a rubber band and a piece of flint in the same waterproof bag that she keeps her credit card, right?
Not that you would be carrying meat tenderizer around (maybe the cranky teens in the kitchen would have it)
…but the old hillbilly way to treat a bee sting when there is no ice because it has melted in 112 degree weather, is making a paste with the meat tenderizer and slapping that on the sting area.
oh, and I love the drama about the snow…..too funny!
Loving the laser-precision maternal instincts. Also, your mothering abilities are well above par if your little darling already differentiates between misplacing a favorite garment and potential anaphylaxis. You can’t exactly squeeze your favorite swimsuit out of a tube of Benadryl, now can you?
Happy new week, y’all!
I stepped on a bee at summer camp one time, and it was horrible. My foot got so swollen that I couldn’t put a shoe on. If I had been a drama queen it totally would have paid off, but I hate attention, so I was just horribly embarrassed.
Then, I got my first visit from “Aunt Flow” at another camp. An athletic camp (and for the record I’m not athletic). It was equally as horrible as the bee sting.
I’ll pray that Caroline has better luck with these issues than I did…although I have a feeling she would get much more leverage from the situations than I ever did.
I think this is one of my favorite posts. Thanks for the laughs.
My Granny always rubbed a slice of tomato on bee stings, and truly, they felt better.
Poor baby! I am filing away the credit card cure in the useful things to remember section of my brain. Tell your daughter that snow is way overrated. The first snowfall is fun and it goes downhill quickly from there.
Sounds like drama but for some odd reason I’m focusing more on the fact that you want to watch Veronica Mars on dvd! Probably one of my favorite tv shows ever. Veronica. Is. Awesome! Let us know how you like it!
Tobacco will take the swelling down.
One of ours got stung at the country club pool, too (must be a popular bee hangout) and since we live in TX, we just asked if anyone had any Copenhagen and 3 different people pulled theirs out.
Worked like a charm!
And people say that credit cards are evil? They have NO idea!
I am with you on staying in the pjs til noon. That is my dream! And today I just might do that. I got home yesterday after being gone for 22 days (I actually typed “years” at first) visiting my parents and sisters and brother. I am whipped so I am taking your “advice” and lounging! If my kids will quit asking me when we are going somewhere…
Happy Monday (those words don’t go together!)
Paige
I nearly had an asthma attack, I was laughing so hard about P needing a sedative to deal with the hormonal females.
Yours is my all time favorite blog!
My list includes calling insurance companies, dr. offices and repairmen. Just check-up but still a long list. I am still in my gown and on the internet. Can you tell I’m anxious to get busy?
Dern! Bee stings on the foot are awful! I got stung under my big toe once and it got all swollen every time I walked or put on shoes. Benadryl has a gel that works great if their stings are still bothering them today.
It’s safe to say that Texas bees do not live as God created them to live (flying) and it’s messing up the lives of those around them. I say that joking but I think there is some sort of spiritual lesson there. (BTW I was stung on the foot as a chlid and my mom had a Pall Mall on that sucker in 10 seconds flat but my leg still swelled–not sure how to conjugate swell)
I love how they knew to SAVE Gulley with her credit card!
Haha!! Love this one. I think an entire Fashion Friday should be dedicated to boot shoes and trends gone by.
I got her to show me exactly where she’d been stung while Gulley went all MacGyver on us, grabbed her credit card and used it to flick the stinger out of Caroline’s foot. I haven’t seen her use a credit card that fast since we were in college and she used her daddy’s card to buy some fab new boot shoes at Foley’s.
Classic! You are SO funny!
Wow, Gulley! I’m impressed. I got stung by a wasp once. My mom smeared oatmeal on it. At another picnic, another mom poured pop on her child’s stung hand.
Your little one is a firecracker!
I too stepped on a bee and was stung on the bottom of the foot when I was about Caroline’s age. We were camping with family and my much older cousin who I had a minor crush on, carried me around piggy back the rest of the day. That be sting? Totally worth it! ;>)
And what if Gulley and Caroline had gotten bee stings at the exact same time?! THAT is exactly why every woman needs at least two credit cards. Dave Ramsey is a fool.
I think Gulley deserves a shopping spree after all that ingenuity!
Love it! I am on vacation in Mexico right now, but cant have a good start to my day without my routine reading of your blog, first thing in the morning. I also cant figure out how to use this keyboard to use proper punctuation…
That’s the cutest picture ever!
Y’all just gave knew meaning to “Never Leave Home Without It.”
Anytime Caroline wants to see some snow she is welcome here in WI. We were at the waterpark on Saturday where it was only in the 60s wearing our sweatshirts. Global warming? Bah!
I gotta ask; does Gulley have a special pocket in her swimsuit to keep that credit card handy? She must have done that before, huh? And I think they need to fumigate the concrete around the pool – the bees are probably lookin like their on steroids by this time of the summer, surviving on all the pool-grill leftovers.
Funny. I am enjoying your summer. I have not commented in a while I am still reading everyday. Wouldn’t miss it.
Boot shoes! I had totally forgotten about those- what a great memory- although the memory of having my dad’s credit card was nice too. Have a great day!
Sending well wishes to Caroline and Gulley from Virginia. I stepped on a bee once–that was no fun! I’m going to second your worry about the universal health care plan–we are already up to our eyeballs in taxes…can’t imagine paying even more!!!
As long as they don’t believe credit cards are the savior for all situations, we’re good! Good luck with the drama, mama… sounds like you’ll need it.
Loved Foley’s, miss it dearly.
Yeah I heard that thunder too, we had 1 drop of rain from that storm. The picture is so cute. I never knew you could get a bee sting out with a credit card, I did use one of mine once to unlock the door and it worked boy was I surprised.
My five yr old was so tired from swimming on Sat also, but he was crying like one of his limbs were severed. I asked what’s wrong baby, with my mind starting to wonder… oh god did I let him swim 6 hrs too long and his lungs are full of water and there about to collapse??? And then he finally gathers enough strength to tell me that daddy did not tickle him tonight. Seriously??
When I was 3, I sat on a yellow jacket at our ranch. 20 minutes from the nearest doctor’s office (which, really, would’ve been closed because it was Saturday), and at least an hour away from San Antonio where the nearest hospital was. Luckily, I was not allergic. And, at that time, my Daddy still dipped. He put some Copenhagen on it and rumor has it, I immediately stopped crying. So, that is another option. Gulley can add meat tenderizer and Copenhagen to her McGuiver kit. : )
Thank goodness Gulley MacGyver was there! You might have had Caroline put on her cute flip flops and matching cover-up while you got her a Jolly Rancher Popsicle to mask the pain! Because that’s totally what I would have done!
As if I needed another reason to prove Dave Ramsey wrong…credit cards are clearly a necessity when it comes to life or death situations such as these. Or sales at Anthropologie. Whatever.
The next best thing is cigarette ashes.
I got stung by a bee once, and my aunt didn’t know what to do. She called my mom and she told her what to do. One of my dad’s friends(who smokes) just happened to be around. We put that on the sting and it pulled all of the bad stuff out(My aunt already managed to get the stinger out). Seriously.
kathleen–You can also use your license to unlock the door too.
Oh Lord. I don’t know where to start. First, before I forget it (menopause STINKS!), I love to look at little kid’s faces that have been all distorted by full swim masks. Don’t ask me why; I’m sure a therapist would have a field day with it. And P? Oh, he is a saint; Saint P. (which would make him the Saint of Potty Training, would it not? But I digress….)
Running around the bathrooms (because of COURSE there is no running by the pool) when it’s “All Out”? Yeah, bleeeech. A necessary evil, I suppose, but just yuck.
And the boot shoes at Foley’s? I feel sure I may have gotten the VERY SAME SHOES, because I was in some job training and got some ON SALE during that time frame. But, I was on my own and did NOT whip out my daddy’s credit card (because my daddy NEVER had a credit card, even til the very day he died).
And now that I have made my own entire post off of responding to your post, I’ll go back into my quiet and boring little shell. Thank you for allowing me to vicariously experience your “Vida Loca”…
Thank you for sharing such fun stories about your sweet girl. I think this one might be my favorite yet. What a riot she is!
Love the title! We are thinking seriously of taking a weekend vacation, but haven’t figure out where or when. I like the idea of hanging out at a pool for a weekend.
Well bless their hearts, I hate bee stings. I’m impressed with the whole credit card use to take out the stinger. Personally, we would have whipped out our Discover card. Because it pays to Discover.
Man, I wish I knew you in real life! You and Gulley are hysterical!
What a cute post. Love it!
Oh, you still got it. I could be this interesting, too, if my dog would learn to use a credit card or say something cute.
totally impressed you had benadryl at the pool. we do well to remember our towels.
I totally stepped on a bee when I was around Caroline’s age. I don’t think that a credit card ever came into play (baking soda maybe?), but I’m sure my mom would say I was dramatic enough for her!
Totally hilarious post, but the real reason I’m commenting? Your statement about universal health care. Amen, sister. Amen. Makes my blood boil.
My first instinct was to comment, “how funny”, but I hate to laugh at someone’s misfortune. It really is ironic that both Caroline and Gully got stung on the bottom of their feet.
Sounds like someone needs to find and dismantle the bee hive so that no one REALLY gets hurt!! Sorry to hear that your weekend involved 2 bee stings…but at least you got to catch up on the world of adults. P definitely makes a great flotation device!
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