Later today I’m leaving on a jet plane for Charlotte, North Carolina to speak at the She Speaks conference. Actually it’s not quite midnight here right now so the real truth is I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll be lucky if the plane is anything more than a miniscule tube of death, and I’m only speaking at one session called “Blogging for Beginners”, which will basically consist of me standing in front of a room of people or maybe just six people and saying, “A blog is a journal that is on the internet. What? You have a question about writing code? Sorry, can’t help you but I love that shirt you have on. Where did you get it?”
I know it makes you sad to think that you’ll be missing out on such a vast wealth of world wide web knowledge.
Anyway, you might think that I’ve spent the day packing for my trip or at least making some sort of list of things I need to pack, but you would be wrong. I’m just going to throw a bunch of stuff in a small carry-on bag an hour before I leave and hope for the best. It’s like I don’t even know myself.
Part of the problem is that I had a busy day getting everything ready for the slumber party we’re throwing for Caroline’s birthday which happens to be the day after I get back from the conference. The other issue is we had another friend’s birthday party to attend for most of the afternoon. And not just any kind of party, but a party that involved this.
Yes. That is my foot in a roller skate. Please note that neither the carpeting nor the skates have changed since 1982 which was the last time I was in a roller rink.
I’ll tell you what else hasn’t changed; The pro shop that still sells beautiful white roller skates with hot pink wheels that make you want to take up professional roller skating because they are just that cool, the roller rink disc jockey who announces “Time for all you fast-skaters to get on the floor and show us what you’ve got!”, and the guy that’s way too old to be there, yet has all the best moves and spends the majority of the time skating backwards in his fancy black skates with white stripes while his long hair flows behind him like he’s the Fabio of the Magic Skate.
Caroline was invited to a roller skate party which caused me no small amount of distress because she’s never really skated. Santa Claus brought her some Disney Princess plastic skates for Christmas but he didn’t realize that her parents wouldn’t have an infinite amount of patience to teach a child to skate who insists that she knows what she’s doing only to fall flat on her bottom, so our skating experience has been limited.
My thought was that I’d put her in roller skates and I’d just stay in my shoes and help her keep her balance. It might have been a brilliant plan had I not worn flip-flops but it only takes 42 pounds rolling over your big toe once to make you rethink a strategy.
So I went and got myself a pair of size 8 skates circa 1976 when Disco Duck was king and hit the floor in spite of the fact that my center of gravity and bone density have significantly changed since the last time I donned a pair of skates. I figured at least a broken arm might make a good opener for my session at She Speaks. “I got this broken arm while I was roller skating yesterday. I totally lost my balance when I reached for the comb in my back pocket to brush out my wings.”
As it turns out, roller skating is kind of like riding a bike, it all comes back to you. In fact, for about thirty glorious seconds I even skated backwards which caused Caroline to scream to all her friends, “LOOK AT MY MAMA! SHE KNOWS HOW TO SKATE BACKWARDS!” That’s right, kids, Mama knows how to skate backwards because when she was a little girl Hollywood gave us quality movies like Skatetown U.S.A. and Xanadu that motivated you to hone your roller skating skills. At least I know that when she turns thirteen and starts to doubt my coolness and relevance, all I have to do is take her roller skating and remind her that I know how to skate backwards. I’m sure it will still be just as impressive.
By the end of the party, Caroline was getting the hang of it a little bit during the brief periods of time that she’d actually let go of the wall and move her feet as opposed to just pulling herself around the wall to achieve forward motion. Based on her enthusiasm for the loud music, the disco ball and the skates with hot pink wheels, I think we have a lot of skating in our future.
The whole experience was honestly like stepping into some sort of time warp where the employees, carpets and disco ball haven’t changed since 1978. What other establishment gives you that kind of experience other than maybe a Waffle House?
Not many, my friends. Not many.
And now I have to go pack or at least come up with reasons why it can wait until later.
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Oh my goodness! This seriously made me laugh out loud and reminded me of my junior high days at the skating rink. I hadn’t been skating in about 15 years but last year my neice was invited to a skating party and I had to take her there. As soon as I walked in the door I was amazed at how absolutely NOTHING had changed since I was a kid. Just like you said everything from the carpets to the skates were exactly the same as they were when I was a kid. It was a surreal experience. Thanks for the laughs and good luck at you conference! I’m sure everyone will be majorly impressed by your blogging prowess.
OH MY! The last time I was in a pair of those I was a total idiot. It was also circa 1982 and I remember clearly the really tall cute guy asking me to skate with him during the “couples only” dance. I was terrified of falling on my face so I said something inane and skated away. I turned down a chance to hold hands with the cute guy!!!! Ugh. Stupidity. I see him at church now – all grown up with kids – he doesn’t speak to me. I’ll bet he remembers too.
Totally hilarious!!
Praying today that your plane is more than a miniscule tube of death. Wish I lived near Charlotte, I’m sure that conference is going to be amazing.
Ahhhh…..the one in my city was called Roller-Rama! I can still smell the hot pretzels and popcorn. (Or is that stinky foot fungus in skates that are 30 years old?)
I skated with my first love, Corky! Yep…Corky!(Well, Richard…but who calls a 12 yr old by a 72 yr old’s name?) We fell in love to *Another One Bites the Dust.* I think I wore those exact skates a few hundred times!
If I got on skates I would totally kill myself! TOTALLY!
Hey girl, I wanted to come and hang out on your blog a little before I get to meet you tonight! You are entirely too funny. I think I’m going to go to the library and check out a joke book so I can be funny when I meet people.
See you soon!
You are too funny! Your sense of humor is what makes your blog special…wish I could hear you speak at the conference. Good luck!
Wow! That carpet and purple wall sure bring back a lot of memories!
For gosh sakes! Roller skating! You could have been describing the rink in my California town or the one in Iowa where my then young kids had school skate night. Rinks cut across all boundaries! I am running out as soon as the sun comes up, buying skates for my granddaughter and letting her roll around the living room carpet. Summer boredom is killing me as much as her and McDonald’s is going to run out of those Beanie Babies eventually.
hilarious! i use to love to skate and use to take my third grade kids skating. they were always impressed when they saw their teacher skate backwards or go around curves with the cross over! fun times! my own kids aren’t that easy to impress, they are 22, 18, and 13, way beyond being impressed by their mom. i usually end up embarrassing them. love it!
Oh my gosh I cracked up at this:
“I totally lost my balance when I reached for the comb in my back pocket to brush out my wings.”
That just brought back a huge memory!
Good for you for skating backwards!
I still have my size 11 (yikes) white skates with the pink wheels. I can still skate backwards. Ah, the memories.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You crack me up!
That was a serious flashback! Please tell me that your skate shop from back-in-the-day had those glittery laces and fluffy pom-poms?!? I just knew my life would change for the best if I had some of those!
And was it just our rink… or do they all have that funky smell?
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only mother in the world that’s had to relive her roller skating days at a kindergarten birthday party. My youngest son and I went to one about 7 years ago. The math works out that it had been 20 years since I had put on a pair of roller skates.
Everything was great until the lights came on and we headed back to the safety of carpeting. Somehow my son and I crossed our skates. He went down then I went down. He was fine but I cracked my tail bone and couldn’t sit for 5 weeks.
I’m glad to hear you came out unscathed. A cracked tail bone would have made your flight unbearable.
Great memories! We had one of those old fashioned roller rinks in the town where I grew up, so I could just imagine everything you describe.
So what was the loud music? I ask because last time I went skating (probably about 15 years ago now), the scene was unchanged but the music was all rap. Which I thought was ridiculous. Clearly Hall and Oates singing “Private Eyes” is the ideal rollerskating music. Makes me want to do a double-clap right now.
LOVE IT!
The roller rink where I grew up was tiny and there was this big floor to ceiling fan at one end of the warehouse it was built in. But don’t worry, there was a 2 by 4 nailed to the floor so that if you didn’t make the curve, you would trip before the fan chopped you up.
I am laughing out loud right now, because even in Fargo, ND, we had the Fabio of Skateland, and other than the long hair (his was short and curly), he was exactly as you described. Mostly skating backwards, doing “cool” moves, about 15 years older than everyone else. And of course his skates and his t-shirt (with the sleeves rolled!) were black, perfectly complementing his stonewashed jeans.
Melanie – I will be at She Speaks! I want to meet you! Will you be at the blogger’s “meeting on the veranda” on Friday evening?
Don’t forget if you were really cool like me you had your own skates with a case and a key to lock it, complete with pom-poms. I was a serious roller skater back in the day. Ahh, thanks for the memories.
She Speaks!!! Yes, I’ve heard of this…my friend (well, more like my mom’s friend) Barb Cash is going and speaking a few times there as well…small world! You’ll be on my side of the states too…southeast baby!!!
Oh, I *AM* impressed. My mom actually broke her wrist the last time she went roller skating, which caused me to question her coolness at a much younger age than I had probably originally planned. You go, girl!
Ohhhhh my word, did this bring back some skating memories, haha!!!
That was HI-LAR-I-OUS! Was there no “couple’s skate”??? It’s not really a skating experience without couple’s skate. You and P need to take Caroline back to the rink and show her how to couple’s skate when she’s 13.
This brought back so many fun memories for me!! I use to go skating all the time and it was so much fun flying around the rink but I don’t think I would be brave enough to try it after twenty years!! I’m very impressed!
Fun times!! I had the white skates, but I so wanted the giant pom poms tied into the laces. I just knew there would be nothing better than to have those giant balls of fluff on my skates. So cool.
I was at a Grease Sing-along Drive In Family Movie last night and the Roller Derby Girls were there. I was almost scared (lol)… they take roller skating to a new level.
Your party sounds a bit tamer and more my speed!
My friend, Abby Kay, had long, luxurious hair and she used to be a PRO at skating with her OWN pair of white with pink wheels and pom pom skates. She won all the races and could skate backwards so good…she always was asked to couple skate during the disco ball Open Arms portion of our Saturday morning skating. Not that I am holding a grudge or covetous. Three years of counseling has done wonders.
Ahh, the memories.
There is NOTHING like a roller-skating rink to unlock the flood gates of memory!
I’m betting you’ll have at least 12 people in your blogging session. Want me to spread the word for you?
Wow, I wasn’t prepared for junior high flashbacks of Skate Town this early in the morning.
I took my kids to our local rink about 5 years ago and nothing has changed, not even the smell. Or the one older dude skating backwards with his speed skates.
Have fun at the conference!! And whatever you do, don’t pull a Pioneer Woman and reach out to touch someone’s belly and ask when the baby’s due, only to find out her baby is 2 years old.
Your description of the “too old” man…….perfection. I saw that man often during my skating days. Glad to know he’s still there!
We had a skating party for our daughters’ birthdays back in February. Wish I had know about the conference in Charlotte – I live just 45 minutes north in a little town. Have fun!
You brought back so many memories of my preteen days. In fact, I may rent Xanadu just to relive it again. Did Caroline do the hokey-pokey? My 8 year old went to a skating party when she was 6 and bless her heart she couldn’t skate worth a lick. She’s a good little athlete and gymnast but on skates she couldn’t even stand up without arms and legs going everywhere. It was so stressful that I haven’t taken her since! Oh well. Have a safe & blessed trip.
Just found your site – love your style of writing! Ahhh the roller rink! My son was invited to his first rollerskating party – I didn’t even know there was still a roller rink in the area! And – like you mentioned – it looked exactly the same as the roller rink from my youth! Same carpet on the floor, shag carpeting on the sides of the counters and benches, SAME creepy older Fabio guy zipping around the rink! When I came home and revealed how roller rinks are stuck in some kind of freaky time warp my husband asked, “Well, is the weird old guy with the long hair still skating backwards around the rink?” Maybe that guy keeps the whole space time continuum thing in place!
I didn’t even know there were roller rinks still in existence! That’s awesome! I loved skating when I was little! I even had my own pair of fastback skates – you know the tennis shoes with wheels on the bottom? Mine were blue and yellow! And sounds like backwards skate guy would still scare me!
I didn’t even know they still had skating rinks. That’s crazy.
I just knew you had visited our local roller rink – complete with the ‘man too old to be there skating backwards’. Cracks me up.
I was ‘fortunate?’ enough to attend my nieces bday party there and may have embarrassed my children just a little. I kept waiting for Loverboy to play over the loud speaker. The decor is definitely the same!
I heart skate rinks!
Time warp? Oh yea…like visiting Grandma!
I can hear it now….”Stayin Alive” as I glide along!
Oh how I miss roller rinks! I’m not sure the ones I used to frequent are still around. My friends and I used to bring our skates to recess and though we were so cool, perfecting our syncronized skate routines on the playground cement. We even did roller skating in gym class in jr. high. Ahhh, memories!
Next up – midnight bowling (same smelly shoe thing) and then a slumber party where you put itching powder in your sibling’s sleeping bags while watching Rockford Files and eating popcorn. THAT is the 70s to me.
I took my kids to our local rink as well very recently and I think it must be a requirement to keep the carpet and all the decor at the same level everywhere all the time. AND, the old man skating like nobody’s business…he was at our rink too. What is up with that???
In no time, I too felt like I was a pro skater. I took me back 25 years for sure. I even got butterflys in my stomach when they announced the couples skate. Good grief.
I’m turning 30 in October and want to have a fun party with my friends. I even looked into having it at a skating rink. Is that bizarre or fun? My other option is bowling.
You crack me up! And brought back to me some great memories… I had a birthday at the roller rink once and my dad skated backwards, causing me much embarrassment. I must have been older than Caroline – probably nearing 13 when my dad could do nothing right. Poor guy.
How did that old guy travel through the years and across the miles to your roller rink too??
I’m excited to say that I just downloaded the entire Xanadu album 3 days ago on iTunes…yea…that’s right! Proud!
Thank you. Thank you! I am laughing SO hard. Great post. ” Fabio of the Magic Skate” HA! Makes me want to fly to the other coast just to hear you speak.
There’s one major change in our local skating rink: the music! I don’t know why our DJs think rated R lyrics are appropriate for children, but they do. Needless to say, we now only go when church rents it out and we get to pick the songs.
Oh yeah, and there are NO DOORS on the bathroom stalls. No DOORS!!! Another reason to skate in the privacy of my own driveway.
Always making me smile…thanks for the memories…my dad took my brother and I to the rink every Sunday growing up…we watched him to the “shoot the duck” and all kinds of other completely embarrassing “tricks” that we thought were SOOO COOOL at the time. Wow, just brought back some vivid images for sure!!!
Was our rink the only one that periodically had everyone do the Mexican Hat Dance? Good times.
Let me just say, I don’t think we’ll EVER have a roller skating party, with Xanadu as the background music, for my daughter. She never pulled away from the wall when she went to a friend’s birthday party. Poor thing, her dad could have taught her some moves. He claims to have been the king of the rink back in the day. I’m not sure that’s something he needs to be bragging about!
Have a great time at SheSpeaks. Give Sophie a hug for me! I wish I was going! Maybe someday.
It’s been SO long since I’ve been on roller skates! This brought back some great (and funny) memories for me!
So, we went roller skating too, right? The only problem was I never really skated and never really learned how.
Ah! Good times! I laughed out loud reading about your skating adventure. I, myself, revisited the roller rink 3 years ago for the first time since 8th grade. And my experience was much like yours, realizing that I still could skate backwards!! I was feeling a little too arrogant, however, b/c I only recall a dare from another 30+ year old friend to take it around the rink “ONE MORE TIME!”, a bad fall, an incredible amount of pressure on my back, and a night in a certain small-town Alabama emergency room. My back has never been the same. But still, good times! Glad you stayed on your feet!
I just went to a “big girl” as in turing 40 b’day party at a roller skating rink. You were requested to dress in 80s fashion and skate! IT WAS A BLAST. Of course that may or may not have been due to the fact that adult beverages were being served. It is much easier to skate when you are braver due to the margaritas and sangraia that you have consumed.
Xanadu! Thanks for the memories. Have fun this weekend – I feel certain you’ll have a full session.
Ha! Makes me think of the song “Funkytown” It seems like that’s all they played at our little rink!
In our small town, it was the “Roller Drome” and my kids always were in attendance at one party or another. The wall looked just like the one in your picture but it was green. It’s been closed for many years now and in it’s stead: a video store, a nail salon, and a pet shop.
Our school field trips used to be to the skating rink. Every time I hear Joan Jett’s I Love Rock and Roll it makes me think about roller skating…
And I thought the comb in the back pocket was strictly a Tennessee thing. My word- I swear we must be sisters because we had the EXACT same experiences. And- you may be in TX, but I was just in our skating rink to pay for my little one’s birthday party and I promise you- it is the exact same carpet- the wall was orange though, not purple. It hasn’t changed a bit since I was last there in 1984.
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm.
Glory days.
Oh my gosh the memories that are coming back. And guess what…Manning’s is still here!
Too cute. I’m glad my skating days are over!
My husband and I met at a skating rink!
And, yes, I can skate backwards…..or at least I could about 15 years ago at the ripe old age of 40! I would NOT try it now. Don’t need to risk breaking one of these old bones. But I still remember the thrill of flying around that rink!
Thanks for the memories!
Marilyn….in Mississippi
Hahaha! I had to just laugh out loud. Next year, for my 40th birthday, I have plans on renting out the roller rink and playing all 70′s and 80′s music! I am looking forward to it. Sort of. Last year I took my son to a skating party, and for the record, it DOES NOT come right back to you! We had to hold each other up just to make it around the rink one time! I think someone even took a picture of us. Good times.
LOVED Xanadu!
My eight year old son hates to roller skate. Over the past couple of years, he has begrudgedly gone to several friends skating b-day parties and has left every one asking, “Why do they think that is fun!?! All you do is fall and get bruises”
Ya know,I have been trying to think of a place in my town that hasn’t changed since I was little.(I just turned 31 on Monday) The ONLY place I can come up with is Logan Roller Rink.Why is that???? Hope you have a great time at the conference.Wish I could be there.
Oh, my dear gracious! That took me back…did they play limbo or the hokey-pokey on skates??
Xanadu was one of my favorites growing up! Was it ONJ’s fabulous hair, the roller-skating, or the fact that the movie was also part cartoon, which was pure genius for the time? ALL OF THEM! Thanks for the memory! Glad you didn’t break any bones. I never could master the backwards skate move…
Oh man do I remember that one! And when my kids ever take a field trip to the roller skating rink I’m so volunteering to chaperone that one!
LOL. We actually just threw a skating party for my husband’s best friends thirtieth. Yeah, that’s right, he turned 30 years old and we had a skating party. The kids at the rink thought we were weird and the Fonzy of the place did not like my husband. Awww, brings back so many memories.
Have a great trip to the conference! I am curious to know, are they playing any throw back music at the rink, or is it just Jonas Brothers and the like?
Our roller rink has that exact carpet right now.
Hope your summer is going great!
Mary
I think I have been to several birthday parties at that exact rink in SA with my daughter. Too funny! There’s something a little comforting in how some things never change. Creepy, but comforting.
I can’t remember the last time I went roller skating!! You are very brave!
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