I keep trying to think of clever or, at the very least, coherent ways to begin this post but I am struggling because I am just so tired. TIRED. I went to bed last night at 9:00 p.m. which hasn’t happened since I had the flu two years ago and was certain I was about to die and wanted to be in bed watching old episodes of Little House on The Prairie when it happened. If it was my time to go then I wanted to go out the way I lived, totally lame.
The weekend in Orlando was unbelievably fun even though I had nary a glimpse of any sort of theme park. Deeper Still was phenomenal and I am not kidding when I say I have about sixty pages of notes that will take me weeks to process. Kay Arthur taught the entire book of Hebrews, Beth Moore talked about discernment, and Priscilla spoke on Ephesians 3:20 and how God can do above and beyond all we can ask or imagine. In fact when Paul wrote Ephesians, he basically used language that says God can go beyond our beyond. He can do beyond beyond. Believing that truth is the foundation of our faith.
So I crawled into my bed in a hotel in Orlando on Saturday night reaffirmed in my belief that God can do beyond beyond.
Then I tossed and turned and didn’t sleep much at all because I was worried I wouldn’t hear the alarm go off and I’d miss my flight. At 5:30 a.m. I finally gave up, got out of bed, checked out of the hotel and headed for the airport. It wasn’t my finest hour. I feel certain there were several children on my flight to Atlanta who were convinced that Cruella DeVille was following them home from the Magic Kingdom. It probably didn’t help that I was wearing my dalmation fur coat.
(Why is spellcheck telling me I spelled dalmation wrong? Doez it thank I can’t spell gud?)
(Edited to add that apparently I can’t spell gud becuz dalmation is spelled dalmatian.)
Also on an air travel side note: If you haven’t traveled enough to know you have to take your shoes off when you go through security, then you probably shouldn’t get in the Expert Traveler security line. I know you may feel like an expert and you may do a lot of things really well, but getting through a security line in a timely manner isn’t one of those things.
Anyway, I ended up sitting next to a very chatty girl on the way to Atlanta and she told me all about some type of herbal supplements she’s selling that could change my life. Apparently they are made from some kind of super jacked up Chinese herb and will lower my cholesterol and help me get off my diabetes medication. It didn’t really seem to matter to her that I don’t have high cholesterol and am not diabetic. And then right as the plane was about to land, she said, “Can I ask you a really weird question?”
I was so frightened because I just knew she was about to give me the hard sell on the Chinese herbs in the form of “How much do you think is too much to pay to change your life with Chinese medicine? $39.99?”. But instead she asked, “Does my hair look okay?” So now I’m paranoid that people think I’m odd because I ask that same question about ten times a day and have never once thought it was weird. I thought it’s what people do when there isn’t a mirror in close proximity.
We landed in Atlanta and I had ten minutes to make it to the other side of the airport. I checked the monitor to confirm my departure gate, saw that my plane was boarding and sprinted through the airport with my carry-on bag in tow and my unbelievably heavy purse on my shoulder, only to arrive and discover that the plane was actually running about thirty minutes late. I’m totally sending Delta Airlines the bill for my eventual knee replacement and shoulder surgery.
Once we were on the plane, the pilot announced the delay was due to some maintenance issues which why? Why do you need to announce that? “Welcome to this small metal tube. Fingers crossed that we got everything fixed. Would you like some peanuts? Perhaps some paper and a pen to make out your will?”
Obviously it all turned out alright or this increasingly boring blog post wouldn’t exist. I landed in San Antonio and P and Caroline picked me up from the airport. As soon as I got in the car, Caroline announced she’d played a practical joke on me and pulled all her clothes out of her closet and thrown them all over her room. I figured that was actually the joke and when I arrived home that her room would actually be neat and tidy.
But I was wrong.
She wasn’t kidding. There were clothes all over her room and I wanted to cry, but instead I tried to gently explain the difference between a funny practical joke and things that will cause Mama to have a permanent break with reality. Then I took some deep cleansing breaths and we cleaned up the room.
All I really wanted to do was unpack my suitcase and get in the shower. Preferably a shower used by Hazmat crews because I was convinced that I’d contracted some strain of tuberculosis while I held on to the handrails on the Atlanta airport shuttle and probably should have bought some of those life-changing Chinese herbs. Hindsight.
So I unpacked my suitcase, sorted some massive piles of laundry, started a load of wash and jumped into the shower. I felt totally revitalized or at least like death was no longer imminent until I heard this odd BEEP, BEEP, BEEP coming from the laundry room. The washing machine was having a major case of PMS and decided to rage. I couldn’t get it to work despite all my best mechanical efforts which basically involved unplugging it and plugging it back in repeatedly. I did what I always do in these situations and yelled for P.
He walked into the laundry room and unplugged it. Great minds.
When that didn’t work he performed a series of maneuvers where he pulled out various tubes and what not. It would act like it was going to work but would go back to flashing F2! F2! F2! And I felt pure hatred for an appliance, a three-year-old appliance that was not cheap. Kenmore is dead to me. DEAD.
And so I curled up in the fetal position and went to sleep at 9:00 p.m. just to make the day go away.
Yesterday morning, a repairman came out, tried a few things and announced that the motherboard on our washer appears to be fried.
I’d like to be more upset, but in all honesty I know exactly how she feels.
At one point yesterday I told God that none of this was really my idea of Him going beyond beyond. All the reality came in and stole my joy. I just felt tired and frustrated.
But then last night I sat at the dinner table while Caroline told us about her day and P said something that made us laugh out loud and I realized that the gift of those two in my life is an example of how God does beyond our beyond. They are more than I asked for or imagined.
The Kenmore washer, however, is not.
Great prospective! No wonder I love this blog.
Glad you enjoyed Deeper Still. It is my dream to attend one day.
Pray today and the coming days are better for you!
It is DALMATIAN. That is why your spell check was going off. I laughed until I cried over the motherboard. I am off to check cafe press to see if there is a tshirt with that saying. If not, there should be.
I thank yoo arr a goode spellur.
I would have died if I had to sit next to herbal supplement girl. I hate it when people try to sell their stuff to people they just met. I had a girl and her husband/boyfriend try to sign me onto their pyramid scheme one night as T and I were waiting for a table at a restaurant.
I’ve done a few Priscilla Shirer (sp?) studies, and I love the way she teaches!!
I love that concept of “beyond the beyond.”
I hope everyone makes it to that last paragraph because that is just beautiful. I often think the same thing–that my wonderful husband and three beautiful girls are beyond all I could ask or think. Isn’t that just amazing of God to do that for us?
Great post!
Oh honey, I hate those appliances. But it really is in the little, every day things when I, too, realize that God goes beyond what we could have imagined.
There isn’t an “o” in Dalmatian!
I am so feeling your pain. So many times I come home from a mountain top experience and I feel like I get submerged below sea level before I even get out of the car and in the house!
Bless you for recognizing the blessings sitting right beside us!
I am awaiting a refrigerator delivery today (didn’t come yesterday between 12-4-UGH) so I feel your appliance woes! So expensive!
Oh dear, um. Our Kenmore did the same thing, and it was less then two years old. Thankfully I had kept he lovely sears extended warranty.
Tiffintexas
I have been down the fried-motherboard road twice with my lousy Maytag. When I finally get to replace it, I’m going back to a non-eco-friendly water-guzzling top loader. They last thirty years and don’t make your towels stink.
Oh I could totally relate to the whole tmi when a plane you are about to get on is having ‘technical issues’….I wrote a post about this in the spring when a series of events left me stuck in Dulles for hours. And hours.
http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com/2009/05/leaving-on-jet-planeor-trying-to-anyway.html
Little girls and sweet funny husbands…God is most definitely beyond our beyond.
Okay, you’re “incredibly boring post” made my cry. Thanks for that reminder today. My husband told me last night that he has worked out of town 80 days since April. We miss him, but this is his job situation right now. But I can’t wait until we are all three at our dining room table at the end of the week. A good reminder of what is important. Thanks.
I LOVE this post! It is so real – reminds me so much of my life! Thanks for sharing
Place this post in your Top Five posts. Bravo! Loved it.
I heart you Melanie. Glad you’re home. Praying you settle into “reality” and recover your “joy” this morning!!!
Oh how I can relate! Samsung is DEAD to me! Our 3 yo dryer has periodic fits of PMS, too! It’ll be drying just fine and then it decides it just doesn’t want to anymore. And when I’ve done everything I know to do and tested it 4 or 5 times and still NOTHING. I just about declare it toast, but then it rises from the dead. Who needs appliances that act this way??? I’m moody enough.
And I’ve been having that same talk with God, except mine involves a certain truck that’s required over $5,500(that we don’t have) worth of work in the last month. This truck is only 5 yo and has required $10,000 in repairs since we bought it. And might I add, it wasn’t a cheap truck to begin with. So, yeah, I totally understand. But you’re exactly right about Him going beyond beyond by giving me 3 amazing children and a terrific husband.
I can totally relate about the washer, front load I am assuming? No they are not cheap by any stretch of the imagination, the mother boards go in them and it isn’t a cheap repair. I had whirlpool give me a full refund for my 2 year old front load this summer as my clothes were smelly moldy, great right? There are class action lawsuits against many of the front load manufactures for this very problem. I’m back to a top load and loving it, I got the whirlpool cabrio which is still an energy star but hey I can set this one to actuall fill up with water and wash the clothes. Hope you get the rest that you need and that your washer is fixed soon. Kenmore has been dead to me for a very long time…….
Not really related to your post- but the reason your spell check is telling you that you spelled dalmation wrong is because it is spelled dalmatian. We just got home from Disney World and when I was writing about it I couldn’t figure out why my spell check kept telling me I had it spelled wrong. Then I realized it’s spelled dalmatiAn.
Isn’t that how it goes? Just when we feel the Spirit working….teaching…..molding us (or we have some grand spiritual awakening)then we have some catastrophe attack us from behind?
I know frustration can creep in and try to rob us of our joy. That satan is crafty!
It’s the unconditional love….the mercy that God provides which reminds me—-He can go beyond..beyond.
I mean, just look at me! I’m a mess, but He never is!
Thank you Lord!
I feel ya. Lots of things going wrong in my life right now. But I’m sitting smack dab in the middle of some HUGE blessings. Love!
See, there was a good lesson to be learned thru all of this
Forget what I said yesterday about your excuse not being valid. I didn’t know it was a mechanical problem with the laundry. THAT is totally acceptable.
I have a kenmore that is about the same age as yours. I received a recall notice in the mail and they came out and replaced the mother board. I had not had any problems with mine yet, but it is worth asking about the recall. Maybe it applies to yours as well?
You made me belly laugh and tear up and nod my head in total agreement (lather, rinse, repeat) in a span of two minutes. What a great way to start my day!
I’m totally taking the “beyond beyond” comment and making it a sticky note on my computer. Reminds me of the saying that goes something like, “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”
hilarious.
the deeper still conference was amazing. i went to the one in greensboro (which was in the end of july) and priscilla’s talk about beyond beyond is still with me. it comes to mind at least once a week!
plus, she was a phenomenal speaker. i’m very visual. so all her jumping and big steps and all that…so cute
Oh you make me smile……always! I love how you weaved God’s message into this hilarious brilliant post. I always say that God is NOT random and has a purpose for even the simplest events in life. We just need to have our ears/eyes/mind (no matter how frazzled) tuned in….or UP.
Any chance of you scanning your notes and making them available for those poor souls who were unable to attend? I would love to get a glimpse of the goodness I missed.
Blessings ~ Lisa
Okay stop living my life Big Mama!
So about two weeks ago when flying home from Chicago our pilot announced (the exact technical term escapes me now) that the check engine light was on. Oh really? Well thank you for reaffirming my fear of flying paranoia Mr. Pilot sir.
Also my GE Profile refrigerator, which is four years old, lost its grip on the fridge door. We’ve had two different repairmen come look at it and both said it probably can’t be fixed but today is our final try. As of now the door is just sitting on the bolts and we’re using our extra fridge in the garage(so thankful for having that). So when this third repairman tells me that it can’t be fixed it can be determined that the GE PROFILE fridge costs about $450 a year. Yay!
But like you said, its frustrating but we have alot to be thankful for…but I’d like to give a piece of my mind to GE.
I am currently lusting over a cherry red washer/dryer set at Lowe’s. It’s an LG though and I have just a small issue with a cell phone and a washer/dryer being made by the same company. Unless I can text on it in which you can mark that baby “SOLD”!
Oh shit! Our motherboard went out on our dryer (just a few weeks ago) and $600 later we still have our old (3 years) dryer! Ask how much before they going fixin that You may just want to buy a new one! Of course my husband thought I may freak out that they washer and dryer would not match but I would have preferred a new dryer that cost less $$. I gently reminded him that only the girls need to match and the appliances in the kitchen!
just wanted you to know that I got teary eyed reading your last paragraph today. I needed that reminder…needed a little perspective. I am so blessed to have found your bloggy blog. It brings me joy!
Thanks for the smile this morning! And the perspective! Thanking God for your gift of gab!
I laughed.
I cried.
I thanked God that my 11 1/2 year old dryer is still kickin’ even though it sounds like it’s on it’s last leg.
And now I shall believe Him to do beyond my beyond in the dryer area. But not Kenmore.
Go get yourself a Whirlpool topload washer without the agitator. You will fit twice as many clothes in it than your front loader. Trust me.
Listening to Beth for even 15 minutes can wear your mind out! You were due for a LONG HEAVY sleep!
Must’ve been this weekend. Our phone died. Then our internet died. Then the battery in my van died–all within a matter of hours on Saturday. I told Wade it’s like the life was just sucked right outta our house this weekend. And that was after a super stressful Friday of being blindsided by something…I’m telling you, it was a tough weekend. But then it was good, too; our Small Group met at our house in the midst of all of this & we were rejuvenated; we served on Sunday morning in the Kids’Ministry and were reminded what it’s really all about; and then our Pastor preached a message that once again made us wonder if he really has our house bugged, because it seemed like he was talking directly to US.
But, MAN…what a weekend.
I feelyour pain! Thank you for being real. I love your blog!
I am praying for you today!
Two things.
A) Are we really doing ourselves any favors by upgrading our washing machines to the point that they have motherboards? What are these companies thinking? I’ll tell you….they can make something that dies in three years causing you to spend more money. What happened to washing machines that lasted years upon years. I think my mother had the same washing machine for 15 years.
2) We had a lady come to our office and try selling the chinese remedy stuff too. Of course her sales pitch was ruined (in my opinion) when she started preaching that the only healing comes by pleading the blood. I was like “In that case, the blood is free and your remedy is $39.95. I’ll take the blood.”
Had no idea a washing machine had a mother board. And, I really just like saying mother board. Is it one word or two?
That was great. I love how you ended it, too.
My husband and I have a joke, well not really, its totally true…that re-entry is hell. Satan squeezes his way in and steals our joy after a mountain top experience where we have enjoyed meeting with the Lord. The hopeful thing is that God is faithful to complete the work He starts in us!
BTW…made the Pioneer Woman rolls and had great success. Other than the fact that I am still slipping on the butter that is on my kitchen floor. Note to self, not melting all that butter next time and will try to use in softened instead?!?
Happy re-entry into your week;)
Thanks for the reality post. It made me smile on the rainy gloomy Tuesday morning!! Sorry for your manic Monday woes, and airport dillemas….however, I’m certain the Lord’s ability to go beyond anyone’s beyond will always bring a bright spot.
Please tell me you didn’t pay the obscene price to fix it yet? I can help. The same thing happened to us–when my twins were 1 and changing clothes 3 times a day. (Oh that hasn’t changed.) I digress. We ordered the part for about a third of the price and my husband fixed it himself. My husband, who I would describe as moderately handy, simply plugged in three or four little cords and we were ready to roll. Also, check behind the seal every time for kids socks and little girl panties. Somehow they will plug lines and it costs an arm and a leg to fix what was simply knowing which thing to unplug after we took the bottom off. Love your sense of humor.
I’m with Sunni. Since when does a washer need a motherboard? UGH. My husband bought me a van with all the bells and whistles, too, and I keep waiting on SOMETHING to die because inevitably SOMETHING does and then I’ll never want to fix it but DH will and that’ll be an ugly battle. But that sucks about your washer. Too bad the motherboard can’t go hook up with a fatherboard and create another board that can grow up to be the motherboard and make a cheap replacement. Just sayin’.
You poor thing! Coming back from a trip is hard enough, let alone to have major drama from an appliance. Here’s hoping you can get it fixed (or get a shiny new replacement)soon!
I have a Fisher&Paykel washer and dryer. Very high tech, made in New Zealand. Translates into expensive. I have replaced the motherboard in the washer twice. Next time I’m buying a new set. I love my washer and dryer but really $300 to fix a washer? My old washer lasted forever and was not at all high tech. Strange how the technology translates into doesn’t last as long and is very expensive to fix.
I am reading another blog were the young lady is experiencing infertility problems and adoption heartaches. I’m sure she would agree with your comment about your family.
This was wonderful to read today. I have a friend that is having a very bad day and I know she reads you too and I want her to see that God goes beyond beyond.
Love and Rest,
Cydney “Lou”
sooooo, you’ve become a part of my morning routine: shuttle 2 kids off to school, put the baby down for a nap, pour a cup of coffee, and then read Big Mama and laugh. or cry. or sometimes both.
thank you so much! i love love love your perspective and your humor. can’t wait for more!
“F2″ is never a good signal to be getting from your washer. I know.
Somehow it just makes it all better when you can laugh about it. Laughter is a gift from God. And so is sleep
LG washers and dryers are worth every penny, and they sing a little song at the end of each cycle. It almost makes laundry fun. Almost.
Oh Melanie! I just love you girl!You never cease to make me laugh and you are just so real! Last winter our washing machine quit working.Instead of flashing F2 it flashed F9.Maybe because it was a Whirlpool and not a Kenmore.So we had the guy from Sears come out and he was all”Yeah,this is going to cost you a lot of money”.Not what I wanted to hear after we had just spent a lot of money on the dumb thing 2 years ago.2 years!That is like disposable in my book.And then he says that the cheeper ones without all the bells and whistles always last longer.Funny how they don’t tell you that when they are trying to sell you one.Oh well,live and learn.I am now the proud owner of a plain jane washing machine.And ya know what?It gets my clothes just as clean as the other one did.If only it would fold them and put them away.
This is all so good, but the thing that stuck out with me was the hair question. While riding in the car with my husband, I will look away from him and ask, “Does the back of my hair look okay?” It’s right up there with, “Is there anything on my face?” I hope I’m not weird either
Ahh! So sorry. That sounds incredibly painful. I had a similar washer melt down (Whirlpool) just before a vacation this summer (that carried over until just after vacation that involved big sandy beach towels and other large things that needed washing). I found myself at the laundromat twice (with an older woman, God bless her, hanging her grandma underwear out to dry for all to see), and at my neighbors house borrowing their washer on the 4th of the July. If that doesn’t sound Independence Day festive, I don’t know what does.
Can I just thank you so much for that post. My family is having lots of issues right now and then as I was heading to get the kids after work yesterday I get into a car accident(my fault). This post totally put into perspective the fact that we may be over a month behind on all bills but I am blessed to have the family and love that I do. Thank you so much, I feel as if I was meant to check your blog today.
I was flying to Hawaii one December once (and only once….sigh!) and they announced that we were delayed while they de-iced the wings. De-iced the wings? Seriously? De-iced?
Yeah, that gave me something to think (and pray) about. Why do they tell us that stuff?
Loved your post as it gave a fun spin to “those” kind of days that we all have. When you don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or spit.
Truly thankful that the Lord does go beyond our beyond in my precious family!
Here is the deal and I know this b/c I did LOTS of research (read: they told me in the store but it’s come to be very true). I bought a new Samsung washer and dryer at Lowe’s. The full coverage extended warranty (read: ALL parts, motherboard, kid knocks out the clear window into the washer, etc. are covered. Everything.) And the warranty at Lowe’s is SO much cheap (read 1/2) of what the warranty is at Sears. And they come and replace the motherboard and everyone lives happily ever after.
I kid you not. It’s a great deal. And anyone who says the warranties aren’t a good deal hasn’t bought a washer or dryer recently.
They just aren’t made like they used to be.
And this is more info than anyone wants to know … but, the serviceman said you should ALWAYS get the warranty b/c now washers and dryers are like computers with computer like parts that aren’t cheap. So, again … warranty saved me TONS o’money.
I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but… everytime I go to any type of convention where God brings me back and puts me on my knees – there is a “reality let down” when you get back. It never fails, the devil uses that time to rub those raw emotions to the point of being “fried”. Thanks for blogging I know it takes time and energy – things will turn around
and hey you can always go back and read what you wrote…. it will cheer you up for sure. it does all of us <3
What a weekend…some good, some not so good. You did, however, manage to get a GREAT post out of it. I laughed and I think I even shed a tear over your washer’s motherboard. I think we can all sympathize. My own washer refuses to spin my clothes, leaving them soaked. I’ve praying over her and pleading with her to work. I now hope she does not have a mother board in her system.
-FringeGirl
Check your warranty – if that’s a front loader, some of them have longer than 1 year on the more expensive parts. And I hate to tell you that they’re ALL that way. You may get a dud in anything (I’ve worked in a retail appliance store for 14 years. You can thank the Clinton Administration and subsequent administrations for beginning and extending the North American Free (free for who?) Trade Agreement that enabled us to send our manufacturing jobs for appliance parts to Mexico and China!! I’ll get off the soapbox now, sorry. You are also a kinder parent than me. My son pulled a stunt at about that age; I had been on a work trip and came home and he and his dad had soiled every piece of clothing in the house and I was bemoaning the unfairness of it all with about 9 piles of laundry laid around and he piped up “gee, mamma, is the laundry THAT hard? You sure do gripe about it!” Rather than throttle him, I waited about 30 seconds and then said “you’re about to find out little man” and HE did the ENTIRE laundry that day. From start to finish. I showed him how to sort, put in detergent, and everytime he would go outside to play I’d call and say “the dryer went off!” He helps me do laundry to this day – when he’s home – he’ll be 27 Saturday!
I’m glad you’re home safe and sound…well kinda sound:)
I wish my washing machine had a motherboard! My machine is too old for that technical stuff. I keep hoping it will break down just so I can get a frontload washer…is that so wrong??
I am so jealous you were able to go to Deeper Still! I’m glad you had an enjoyable time.
I too have that same Kenmore washer and have had a lot of beeping. Mine has gone on for 6 years now. I’m waiting for it to die.
Karen, somebody, I will be soon in the market for appliances. What’s this about them making your towels stink? HUH? WHAT!??
What you experienced, by the way, was a tumble off the Spiritual Mountaintop. (Voice of Experience) Glad you’re back to Ground Zero. That’s where we live by the Light day by day!
How often does that happen???? We come home after an amazing spiritual high to what appears to be the depths of despair. No way, Mr. evil one! You are NOT stealing our joy!!!! Ha ha ha (said in a sassy 6-year-old tone)–I will delight in my family and you can’t stop me!!! You go, Big Mama! You ARE BLESSED!
I seriously loathe kenmore myself. Our house is 3 years old and within the first year of it’s life, we had trouble with 4 of our 5 BRAND NEW kenmore appliances. Seriously. Loathe.
But I enjoy your writing, so thanks for the giggles!
ok…laughed til I almost cried. Thought to myself…no wonder she is so skinny, she has diabetes! Then I read on.
Thanks for the reminder that God goes beyond beyond…I needed that tonight when my husband said our water leak in the basement could be fixed and would be fixed shortly. That was good because he had turned the water off and I REALLY had to go…’bout ten min. later he walks in all done and say, “Oh…is the water back on?”
He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “No, it won’t be back on for 3 hours.” Hello…I cannot possibly wait that long! But God went beyond beyond…I made it!
When I got to the post about you hearing a beeping in your washing machine I was afraid you were going to say you were so tired that you left your Iphone in the wash. Sorry to hear about the washing machine giving up the ghost. THat is so frustrating.
Amen to that sister. Georgia has just experienced some major flooding and our community has experienced the loss of life just yesterday. Children’s lives. It truly is a blessing to have our children safe in our home, at the dinner table, and talking and laughing.
I flew from Cincinnati to Tulsa on Sunday on Delta and my plane and another plane at the gate next to us had “maintenance issues”. We almost missed our connection in Memphis because our first flight was delayed. Something must have been going on with Delta that day!
Oh, I love you wrapped this post up. Thanks for sharing all the real stuff in your life. I saw you at She Speaks ’08 and I love how real you are. You bless many lives.
This post is classic Big Mama – witty, wise, and wonderful. This part in particular made me laugh out loud. “The pilot announced the delay was due to some maintenance issues which why? Why do you need to announce that? “Welcome to this small metal tube. Fingers crossed that we got everything fixed. Would you like some peanuts? Perhaps some paper and a pen to make out your will?”
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