Stop me if you’ve heard this one.
A pirate, Darth Vader and a Southern Belle walk into a bar…
I’m not really going anywhere with that but I kept looking at those three on Saturday afternoon and thinking they seemed like a punchline to a joke. It’s not every day that you see such an odd assortment of characters unless it’s time to visit the DMV and renew your drivers’ license.
One of the many reasons we decided to head to College Station for the weekend, other than to visit Honey and Big and avoid vegetable casseroles, was to attend a Diamond Darling reunion. We decided to skip the Friday night dinner, but thought the kids might enjoy going to the baseball field on Saturday for an alumni baseball game. In theory, we’d love to take them to a football game but the tickets are way too pricey for a crew that may decide they’re ready to bail once the $15.00 bucket of popcorn runs out.
Here are Caroline and Jackson at Olsen Field.
Gulley and I laughed after our road trip this summer because we had all these pictures of Caroline and Jackson together and then pictures of Will by himself. Sometimes it was because he was looking for his shoes or in the bathroom, but mostly it’s because he can’t be bothered to pose for pictures. A pirate needs to be free.
But I caught him this time.
Granted, he’s not looking at the camera but I’m going to consider this a W.
The kids had a great time and even got to play baseball with some of the current Aggie baseball players and that pretty much made their life. Well, except for Will. He was off picking up stray baseballs and warning kids that if you walked all the way to the top of the bleachers “you might die”. He’s a fan of the alarming statement.
Here’s Jackson getting ready for a power hit.
And Caroline going for a bunt.
I don’t think she was actually trying to bunt, but it looks really impressive.
After a few hours we headed home from the game but had to make a quick trip to Sonic because, well, it’s Sonic and Gulley and I were in need of some caffeine to help us gear up for the next activity on our agenda.
When Nena heard we were coming to town, she requested that all the kids bring their Halloween costumes and come trick or treat at her house a week early. And, not only that, she called one of her neighbors and Uncle Johnny and told them they needed to have candy for the kids.
So we got everyone into costume and began to take pictures of the odd little trio, but first we had to find the little pirate.
And we have a winner.
They are full-service trick or treaters and believe in the value of a little performance theater to go along with all the begging for candy. It also helped that they were all jacked up on about eight Tootsie Rolls courtesy of Uncle Johnny.
This pretty much sums up their haul
What she doesn’t know is that I’m going to recycle about half of that on Saturday night.
After all the trick or treat fun, we changed their clothes and went to Wings ‘N More for dinner. Normally I’m not a fan of eating establishments that use a ‘N in their title, but I make an exception for Wings ‘N More because it is just so good. I always forgo the wings in favor of a chicken fried steak because OH MY WORD at the delicious and the kids discovered the culinary wonder that is fried pickles. The sad part is that my sodium intake on Saturday night was so great that I couldn’t get my wedding ring on the next day until I drank two bottles of water. I should be embarrassed to admit that but I’m just going to throw it out there so you can realize the depth of my love for the chicken fried steak.
The next morning every one was sad to pack up and leave but it had to be done. Gulley and I loaded up the car and I made sure my wedding ring was secure in the zipper pocket of my purse before we said our goodbyes. Caroline declared that it was “the saddest day” of her entire life and she was “going to cry myself to sleep all the way home”.
I knew I wouldn’t get that lucky.
Instead she chose to take out her sadness in the form of extended whining over the fact that Will was humming a song quietly to himself and it was annoying her. And then Will, sensing his power, continued to hum quietly to himself while staring directly at her.
It was at this point that I dispensed the first of many pieces of wisdom that would be given throughout the duration of this road trip. “It’s all fun and games until all that whining means we don’t get to stop for a DQ Blizzard in Bastrop”.
That statement caused an instant reconciliation amongst the back seat and Gulley and I got caught up in our own in depth conversation wherein I uttered the profound statement that “people want to think the grass is greener on the other side, but you know what’s over there? MORE GRASS”.
In fact, “It’s Just More Grass” may be the title of the self-help book that I’ll never actually write.
But my personal favorite words of wisdom came from Gulley during the last thirty minutes of the trip when she broke up a back seat scuffle by declaring “When you lick the person sitting next to you, there’s a good chance you’re going to get punched”.
I believe the only reason that gem is missing from the book of Proverbs is because Solomon obviously never traveled with three kids in the back of his chariot.
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Great trip round-up.
When someone last mentioned about greener grass on the other side, at our home bible study group, an esteemed member of our group added “But you need to remember what they put on the grass on the other side to make it so green!”
Thanks for the morning laugh. This sounds so much like traveling with my boys!
You make me snort! Yes. Snort. It’s so attractive…especially when I am sitting at my desk in the “cube farm,” it’s 6:35am, no one’s caffeine has kicked in and there is utter silence. Except for me laughing to myself so hard I snort! Thank Gulley for me too, I think it was the licking statement that pushed me over the edge. I think you should totally get shirts made that say that! “When you lick the person sitting next to you, there’s a good chance you’re going to get punched”.
Love it! Love your blog!
I could hardly read this, sob…my blood pressure has been high (once you zip past 45 the body suddenly goes psycho on you!) so I have to count all those pesky sodium percentages…for once I’m glad I don’t live in the south…fried everything is my favorite.
You never cease to make me laugh! And also cherish the fact that our car trip problems can all be solved with a rattle and a pacifier…at least for now.
Do you know the real reason the grass is always greener on the other side?
BECAUSE THERE’S A SEPTIC TANK OVER THERE!
I have to say, I was totally expecting Caroline to say, “I’m sadder than a FRIED PICKLE that’s just been eaten!”
I loved this post! Which is really no different than any other day except that I REALLLLY love this post!
I’m seriously thinking about throwing out random bits of wisdom throughout the day. Not sure how that’ll go. My daughter 8+ months pregnant and has an appointment this morning in which we will discover her progress (or lack thereof) and hopefully set a date for inducing since her husband will be coming home from infantry training for the birth.
So feel free to insert your suggestions for bits of wisdom today. I’m thinking “it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings” might be insulting. Besides, I’m sure she’ll get that by sing, I mean SCREAMS HER HEAD OFF IN PAIN.
And–oh yea–that was indeed an impressive bunt. But that’s coming from a not even close to mediocre one-season only because they did NOT ask me back ball player. Still, I was impressed.
Have a great day. I think I’ll wake up the three year old with something like “early to bed, early to rise makes a man, I mean woman, I mean three year old–whiny and cranky . . .” NEVER MIND!
You just crack me up! I read your blog often and as a mom of 4 grown children, I can still remember and appreciate what you are “living” right now. Enjoy! Thanks for sharing your world with us. You do it in such a fun way.
Hilarious.
Loved the trick or treaters and their improv. By “recycle,” do you mean you’ll be eating some of that candy, b/c that’s totally what I’d mean if I said that. 
You’re so lucky to have such a great friend to go on road trips like this with…even if you do have to take a pirate, a Southern Belle, and Darth Vader with you….
You always get me to laugh while reading your blog! I love it! Cute costumes!!
Sounds like an awesome time. So is this how you survive hunting season – road trips? I might have to take that into consideration:) Don’t know where we would go, but I bet my men children and I could figure something out!
Starting my day off with a laugh, thanks.
I once overheard a waitress telling some customers “the grass is greener on the other side because you’re just looking across the field so you can only see the green, but on your own side you’re looking down at it, so you see all that brown dirt.” She was about 15 years old and looked a lot like Tinkerbell. Wise little fairy.
I wish I had known the “licking and punching” proverb about 8 years ago!
Thanks for the morning chuckle.
King Soloman was a wise man if he never traveled with 3 kids in the back seat!
I can’t go a day without reading your blog. Do you talk as funny as you write?
I believe my own profound statement that “those who fight together as children generally end up totally and hopelessly in love aka MARRIED later on in life”* has finally found true companions in the two following statements that are clearly of the same greatness:
“people want to think the grass is greener on the other side, but you know what’s over there? MORE GRASS”
AND
“When you lick the person sitting next to you, there’s a good chance you’re going to get punched”.
You,Gulley and I should trio-author a book on profound and meaningful statements.
*Disclaimer-this generally does not apply in the case of fighting siblings.
“people want to think the grass is greener on the other side, but you know what’s over there? MORE GRASS”
I needed that this morning. Thank you.
Okay, that last part cracked me up!!!!! LOL!
First in line for your book.
LOVE Caroline’s costume. She makes a darling Scarlett.
Wings N More…yummmmmm – my husband knows that we cannot go to College Station without a trip to Wings N More no matter how late it is!!!
Love reading your blog!
Thank you for a wonderful laugh this morning!!! I love road trips!!!
ok–where did you get the princess halloween basket? i may shoot myself for asking b/c if we have the store where you got it in birmingham, then i’ll feel obligated to go buy it. but, i feel like i should ask given the smile it would give my daughter. : )
Never underestimate the power of a DQ Blizzard. DQ’s are almost nonexistent ’round these parts — we always stop for one in College Station even before we stop to see our parents!
Glad to know ours aren’t the only kids who lick and punch on road trips! Sage advice from the both of you though- I think you should definitely write a book.
Too funny! My friends always joke that we should write a book with a list of all the words you never thought would come out of your mouth…like the licking and punching!
Love her dress! I think my tenth grade homecoming dress was made of the same material. Be careful: Possibly highly flammable.
“It’s Just More Grass” as the title of a self-help book? Funny, I had always thought it more appropriate for the title of a college memoir (not mine, of course, but I certainly knew a few folks….). And the line about licking the person next to you? That is some sage advice there
Love the Southern Belle!
And you’re right … Solomon so didn’t have kids in his chariot or Proverbs would be a little longer.
Thanks for the entertaining post!
I LOVE WINGS’N'MORE!!! My college boyfriend used to work there, so I spent a LOT of time there, especially on “25 cent beer Thursdays” w/my roommate! NO ONE makes wings like them. And the fact that they added fried pickles and fried green tomatoes, makes them even that much better. There’s no Wings’n'More in DFW, but plenty of them in Houston, so I hit them up when I’m down there, and whenever I’m in CS.
Oh that was so good. I love your description of the car ride.
Awesome.
That was too funny! I can relate to the “never getting three kids together for a picture” scenario.
I was a Diamond at UT – President for two years actually. I was also not of the “cleat chasing” variety. For love of the game…
Can we be friends? K, thanks.
This was just full of goodness. I loved the line about being a fan of the alarming statement. You crack me up.
I cannot tell you how much the Southern Belle just warms my heart. It’s like she’s my very own child.
May her trick-or-treating be prosperous and her candy be plentiful.
You are a riot.
And now, if I could have some fried pickles today, it would be marvelous!
ooh, I like that Will character! Reminds me of a certain little princess in my house. I love reading things like this that let me know “I am not the only one”!
Loved it! I agree with Dori. Having four grown children and reading your blog brings back such fun memories. Having survived many road trips with the four, I LOVED the licking/punching statement from Gully.
But I also laughed out loud about the DMV observation.
Love your blog! You are hilarious!!
She looks BEAUTIFUL!!!
also, I think Erma Bombeck said “the grass is always greener over the septic tank”
Laughed out loud! I needed that. Thanks!
And, you’d THINK King Solomon couldn’t have gone anywhere without MORE kids than that, what with his hundreds of concubines!!
“Instead she chose to take out her sadness in the form of extended whining over the fact that Will was humming a song quietly to himself and it was annoying her. And then Will, sensing his power, continued to hum quietly to himself while staring directly at her.”
One of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time!
Ah…Olsen Field! Many (and by many I mean TOO many) of my college days were spent there. Love your posts about heading back. And yes, Wings ‘N more certainly is a fine establishment. I’m looking forward to fried Pickles and all things “on a stick” at Wurstfest this weekend. Gotta love fine cuisine! Have a great week!
Thank you for always making me laugh. Do you know my children???? Flashbacks!
I laughed so hard at this post! Hilarious! I’m with Gulley – my 2 year old is going through a licking phase…well, at least I hope it’s a phase!
As God as my witness, there’s no way Scarlett would touch that Veg-All Casserole.
your commenters are hilarious as well! this blog always brightens my Alaskan morning(and makes me thankful for cool weather)
I completely agree with your “‘N” titled restaurant boycot and I, too, have one exception: Things ‘N Wings in Dothan, AL. Their corn nuggets make my ‘N rule disappear.
And I would love that self help book and Proverb. I think they might be able to be rolled into one for ultimate help and survival.
“When you lick the person sitting next to you, there’s a good chance you’re going to get punched.” I think that sums up most of our childhoods.
Just stumbled across your blog and love it! Plus, it’s always nice to find a fellow Aggie
Class of ’06!
oh boy do I love me some fried pickels!!! yummm!! Dang it! Now my mouth is watering and I need a snack:)
Oh Wings N’ More. Kid’s chicken tender basket is my choice. Because I can’t finish a normal size one.
Two of the best opening sentences of any blog post I’ve ever read.
Well done, Big Mama!
HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!! I so needed those proverbs today!!! Thank you!
Solomon would have had some doozies to add to Proverbs if he had to care for all those children, especially if he’d taken them on a road trip sans DVD player, radio, IPODs, phones, etc.
LOVE THIS! Every word!!
Thanks for the laughs!
My friend and I were going to title our book, “The Left Behind,” but I really like your book title better.
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