For about the last twenty years, Gulley and I have blocked off the first weekend in December for our annual Christmas shopping girls’ weekend. We spend all day Friday and Saturday finishing all our Christmas shopping and then stay up late on Saturday night wrapping all the presents.
Of course twenty years ago we didn’t refer to it as a girls’ weekend because we were nineteen and the weekend pretty much resembled what every day looked like, except substitute buying Christmas presents and wrapping them with buying new outfits for ourselves and flirting with convenience store employees named Al.
But ever since Gulley started us on the motherhood track almost eight years ago, the weekend involves a little more planning and coordination, which basically means P goes hunting and Caroline spends the weekend with Mimi and Bops so that we have my whole house to ourselves and it becomes just like our college apartment but with furniture that isn’t made of plastic and requires self-assembly upon purchase.
Our first stop on Friday morning was Starbucks because as Caroline has taken to saying these days, “DUH. WHY WOULDN’T IT BE?” Armed with our various caffeinated beverages, we headed out to Nordstrom Rack because I’d gotten an email earlier in the week announcing that they were getting in a whole new shipment that day. And it did not disappoint. In fact, we both bought a new coat for ourselves. I didn’t think I’d actually admit that publicly, but we did. We bought ourselves new coats because they were an additional 35% off already INSANELY low prices and it was 33 degrees outside with six flakes of snow and I have never felt like a purchase was more necessary. I feel that what I saved in the cost of potential hypothermia healthcare expenses more than makes up the cost of the coat.
After that we went to TJ Maxx because I was looking for some inexpensive red glass goblets for my china cabinet but there were none to be found, but we did find a few items for some people on our shopping list which was fortunate since that’s really the whole goal of the weekend.
(Well, that and eating lots of chips and queso.)
And then we found ourselves at Target.
We decided to go to this particular Target because we both feel strongly that the Target closer to our homes is completely overshopped. They never have anything good and I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this but it takes four extra minutes to get there and an additional two stoplights.
I’m not really sure that the foreign Target was any better, but we did manage to find quite a few things on the toy aisles and also nearly take someone out with the Rip Stick protruding from the bottom of our cart. I could not be sorrier that I misjudged the width of that aisle.
When we got back in the car, Gulley was able to cross several things off her list. This is a very important part of the process for Gulley. She has a meticulous list that she carries with her every year and painstakingly crosses off each item as it’s completed. However, this year she graduated to a full-on leather bound notebook that she clutched to her chest at all times in a grand display of shopping OCD.
I didn’t have any sort of list because I prefer to just guess at what I need and then get home and feel the agonizing disappointment and frustration of realizing that I didn’t necessarily achieve anything other than buying myself a coat and I’ll have to make another trip to Target when my love for humanity is already perilously close to expiring. And yet I mock Gulley and her Journal Of Christmas Accomplishments.
On Saturday, I thought we were going to hit a few stores and then go to the mall, but instead we apparently traveled back in time to 1983 because we saw this:
Denim. Puffy. Vest.
The only thing that would make it more wrong, if that’s even possible, is if it came with sleeves that zip on and off. Gap, I have seen the face of ugly and it is this vest. You should not design and sell clothing based on what was in my Big Bob’s closet back in 1978.
Then we saw this:
“Monchhichi Monchhici, oh so soft and cuddly. With his thumb in his mouth he’s really sweet. It’s fun to play with his little feet.”
Sure, I can remember that but can’t remember that we’re out of dog food when I went to the grocery store specifically to buy dog food. Perhaps it would be helpful if I’d carry a leather-bound notebook full of lists.
However, I’m a little sad I didn’t grab that Monchhichi because, not only does he make me recall catchy commercials from the recesses of my brain, a bit of bad news hit the wire this weekend.
(Who am I? Wolf Blitzer? Hit the wire?)
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it looks like Mr. Squiggles may have have the Faux Hamster Flu according to some consumer group and Santa may need a backup plan if there’s a big joy-killing recall about to take place.
I always thought that Mr. Squiggles was bad news. Here’s hoping that he keeps whatever funk he has to himself and doesn’t spread it Num Nums or Chunk, especially since I was DELIGHTED BEYOND ALL NORMAL REASON to discover that instead of the lame faux hamster exercise wheel that I thought I purchased at Walmart a few weeks ago, I actually purchased the garage and little hamster car.
I’ll just be sick if Chunk isn’t well enough to drive around the living room on Christmas morning.
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Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Sounds like a perfect weekend.
Except for all things puffy. LIke vests at Gap.
I excel at list making. Remembering to bring it with me so that when hubs and I are standing in the aisle at the Christmas Shop and need to know precisely how many feet of garland to purchase I will be able to tell him to the exact mm instead of having to wing it.
Hoping Mr. Squiggles is fully recovered…happy Monday!
I was at Target and found the most fabulous notepad that sticks on your refrigerator. There are all kinds of possible categories and each line has a box next to it that I can check when I’m done. My neurotic tendencies must have been found out b/c at the very bottom of the list, there’s a box, and next to it says, “All Done.”
YOU CAN CHECK A BOX THAT SIGNIFIES YOU’RE DONE WITH EVERYTHING ON THE LIST… as if all of the other checks didn’t give that away. It’s fabulous. Maybe start off with something simple like that to break you into the world of lunatic list-making?
I immediately thought of you when I saw the news report. I think our parents had it so much easier when we just chewed on lead based toys and didn’t know a thing about it!
Two things:
1)”Journal of Christmas Accomplishments” is my new favorite thing to say and I will be purchasing a notebook and entitling it today.
2) Caroline’s use of the word “DUH” made me think back to my son’s middle school years. Back when I had to decipher the proper usage of the words “DUH” and “NO DUH”. Same or different? If you know, please enlighten me.
What fun! I was sad for you when I heard the Zsu Zsu’s were having troubles. You and the droves of others and I thanked the good Lord that I had boys and had not purchased said “pets”. Hope all goes well and you guys have a great week!
Erin – That pad should have started with “Make List.” THEN it would be PERFECT!
OH! I LOVE The monchichi!
This is how desperate I am… I was excited BEYOND ALL REASON that I found a lame faux hamster wheel at Target.
I am also glad I scored a yellow Zhu Zhu!
Monchichi. . . you just killed me. Sadly, I knew the words to the song before I even read it. And yet, I forgot my Target giftcard, when going to Target. Twice. Yes, I came back home to grab it off the counter, and then did something else, left for Target, and realized I had forgotten it AGAIN.
But thank goodness I know the Mon Chi Chi song!
I love your blog! I can relate to so much of what you write. Gulley and I must be kindred spirits. I too love my lists. I actually have a Christmas spreadsheet in Excel every year which I use for shopping, tracking expenses and refer back to each year to compare what was given previously. It’s so fulfilling, even if I can’t clutch it to my chest in a display of Christmas shopping OCD! Also, we had the same dog food dilemma this weekend as my poor puppy whined by her bowl I had to run out at night to the grocery store.
Sounds like a fun, flashback weekend of shopping!!
I also heard about the terrible hamster flu that seems to be going around. I did just post my game plan on my blog if you are interested. I think I have it all figured out!!
Have a great day!
An excel spreadsheet with a budget and all would make my husband fall in love with me all over again.
I just heard the awful news prior to clicking your blog link. I just knew–JUST KNEW–the title of this post would involve the health of the faux hamster.
I’m relieved to find that you are indeed aware of this terrible situation. My first thought was–were these things made in China? And no, NO, that’s totally NOT besides the point. I’m certain that we have been under some kind of attack and attempt to overthrow our government with lead paint in our toys. Certain.
AND THAT MONCHICHI–I’ll have you know I BOUGHT IT! OH YES I DID!
Insert Monchichi theme song here . . .
My 16-year-old sorta resembled the Monchichi when she was born. Oh, she was beautiful. And no, those two statements do NOT contradict themselves!
She has a head full of hair. Straight, dark hair. A little of the Indian blood in her must’ve come out. Or Monchichi blood. There wasn’t much I could do with it. I tried to force a little patch on top to fit into a velcro bow. And I did. In fact, if I did not, her hair stuck straight up on the top exactly like the Monchichi.
My friends sang that song every time they saw her coming. She knew the song well when she grew up. I think I even pulled on up for her online several years back.
It was Black Friday. And there I was on isle 21 in Target. My 19-year-old saw the Monchichi in all its glory. Or funky hair. It was a Christmas stocking stuffer miracle.
So I bought it.
The End.
Not really the end. I had to scroll up to remember what else I wanted to comment on. I no longer feel like a comment hog, by the way. I’ve come to realize that ALL of your comments could be as long as mine if the commentor so chose.
I am completely jealous of Gully’s glorious notebook. I am a list writer, scratcher off (if it’s long enough, that is, otherwise, just a list follower) and proud member of this club. I can totally relate.
And now I have to go because I have a week’s worth of list to write. To-dos, to-buys, appointments. I WANT THAT NOTEBOOK!
I have to say that I am loving your friend Gulley! I too am a creator of lists and now I want a leather notebook to clutch to my chest! OCD Shoppers unite!
i am way too attached to you, a woman i have never met…when i saw the article ,all i could think about was you
My mom had a lady make my brother and I puffy vests. In all fairness, she was an excellent seamstress, but I’m not sure the floral ribbon down the front was really “cool.” I think we even had a photo on our Christmas card in them. I’ve seen them in the stores now, and I simply refuse to go back there- yeah, it had to have been the ribbon that sent me over the edge. On a happier note, we found out we are indeed being diverted from our move to Germany that was to take place beginning tomorrow, so I can decorate for Christmas and I now know where to send my children’s Christmas gifts (we’re heading back to Ukraine)!
I can’t even believe you saw a Monchichi and it wasn’t on eBay! And that VEST?! OH! The horror! Big Bob must have had some closet! Ha! I think I shop like you- have a list and coupons but get distracted like items such as Monchichi and the like and lose sight of all else…
Have a great Monday!
I got a Monchhichi (a light brown one) when I was little. I loved it. Thanks for the memories, that is hilarious.
Is my memory foggy or is that the exact vest that Michael J Fox(y) wore in Back to the Future?
Monchichi, I am so going straight to Target.com to see how much it is. Childhood memories, love ‘em.
I swear, give you a microphone and you could be a stand-up comedian. Wives and mothers would come from afar (that’s what the fire trucks go to here in Alabama) to hear you. I suspect that maybe the Elmo-makers started that nasty rumor about Mr. Squiggles and his Antimony problem to stop the madness of selling. I too am a list maker and would love to see Gully’s Notebook of Choice. However, my lists tend to get halfway scratched off then collect in a pile at the bottom of my purse, adding to it’s already 12 pound weight. Next thing you know they will have jeans with those mushrooms on the bottom….I can’t think what it’s called but you get thin pieces of yarn-like material and sew it on. Brain, why do you fail me?
That vest is disgusting.
I just love you!
I am always singing the monchichi song and Scott looks at me with a blank stare and has no idea what I’m talking about. Growing up on a farm with only 3 channels REALLY ruined his knowledge of all things pop culture. ha!
I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned that the Target was 4 minutes farther and takes an additional 2 stop lights to get there. What a shame!
What’s next? Sleeveless sweaters?
I find that children should really stay away from rodents as toys (real or otherwise.) The phrase Black Plague comes to mind.
that vest just screams “McFly! McFly! Are you in there McFly?!”
ughhhhhhhhh… what WERE they thinking?
Seriously Big Mama where in the world did you see that Monchichi? That brings back so many memories and I would totally go out and get that to save for my daughter!
um I just giggled so much that my one year old daughter came over to see what I was looking at.
MONCHHCHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love.
Heres to hoping that Chunk keeps the funk to himself! Hopefully you remember the dog food next time!
I didn’t think there was anyone in the whole world who loves chips and queso the way I love chips and queso… but after years of reading your blog and always noticing the many queso references… i think we could be equals in our level of queso love.
Okay, Gulley, I have the Christmas Composition book that I bring with me to put checkmarks as I shop. And I ALSO have the excel spreadsheet with the totals of what I have spent on the purchases. To make it seem less painful, I actually separate the information on tabs in the workbook. “Kids” on one spreadsheet. “Family” on the other. It softens the blow. My Composition Book/Excel spreadsheets also have “Christmas Cards” lists. I save this information so that I don’t have to start over with my list every year, and I can see what I spent and what I bought the prior year, so that I don’t forget family members or duplicate gifts. (You know, you always have those couple of family members that you don’t know very well, and don’t particularly like…and you would hate to buy them the same candle EVERY year.)
I just have to do the list thing (with EVERYTHING). It keeps me sane. Cuz if I’m not crossing some accomplishment off of some type of list, then there is NO point in getting up and doing it!!!
Oh that vest. I think I may have nightmares.
I’m so getting that puffy vest with zip-off sleeves for Travis for Christmas. I’m not even kidding! Do they make a matching one for women?
)
Black Plague… HA HA HA! So funny!
I am SOOOO right there with Gulley and her lists! I have a list of what I’m going to buy the kids for the holiday, buy it, cross it off, note where I’ve hidden it, and call it good. I have numerous lists stuck all over my computer, table next to my computer, in my phone, and on the whiteboard in the utility room specifically hung for the purpose. Yeah. OCD Central – right here.
I don’t know if you’ve seen some of the Gap commercials recently, but they are also trying to bring back the flannel shirt from the 80′s. So I guess the puffy vest is just part of their overall “bring back the 80′s” design.
Personally, I think it’s way to soon to do the 80′s. I’m still getting over them bringing back the 70′s.
I totally took a picture of a whole row of Monchhichis last month when I was in Target. Talk about a blast from the past. I loved that cartoon when I was a kid, and I remember getting one for my birthday. Glad there weren’t any recalls on those that year.
There has to be some sort of conspiracy theory going on with those Zhu Zhus…get everyone all hyped up and then burst their bubbles.
Your shopping weekend sounds like a blast! I’m going up to NYC for the day this Saturday with my SIL and two other friends. I don’t have much $$ to spend, but I always look forward to it.
I am inspired by Gulley’s Journal of Christmas Accomplishments. The OCD chick hiding inside me is intrigued. I have a 1 sheet printed list of gifts I need to buy, but it never occurred to me to do a whole notebook. Genius!
I actually saw a beautiful young blond in a BANANA CLIP on Saturday. Yes, I had to do a double and triple take at that horsy tail do. Where did she even find one?? In the recesses of her mom’s bathroom closet? Now I’m afraid to go down the hair accessory aisle of our Target. Love Gulley’s OCD list. I make lists on the computer, and keep lists from past years for reference, but then I forget to take the list with me to the store. 19 days to go!
Really? You really saw a Monchichi? Like this year? I’m shocked. I remember the song, too, and it’s scary that it exists again. Maybe it’ll be the new/old rage? Fun post!
I did hear on the Today show this a.m. that it appears that Zhu Zhus are indeed safe for Christmas!
You will be pleased to know that when I heard the Zhu Zhu newsflash, you were the first person I thought of…. Yes, it’s true! And, I don’t even know you!
Didn’t mean to rhyme – oh dear.
Sounds like a wonderful weekend!
Oh the monchhichi!!!! I loved those little creatures!!
I’m with you, I don’t believe in lists.
Why don’t you keep a list on the note
pad on your Iphone??? It is very handy!
I saw the vest too!! I was instantly transported “Back to the Future!!”
i cannot believe Monchichis are back.
ps
you are so lucky to have your best friend in the whole world close by! i’m so jealous. sniff.
ok all i see when I see the new gap kids commercials is the horribly mismatched neon colors that make me flash back to 1987 and its just frightening.
Where did you find the Monchichi please I have been hunting one.
Steff
You never cease to make me laugh! And I love ya for it!
My husband knows when I’m trying to laugh quietly (and failing), I have to be reading “Big Momma.” Thanks for the memories and chuckles.
OH Melanie..I just delight in your blog..You never cease to give me a chuckle!
I loved that monkey and the instant I scrolled down and saw it..the song came to my mind even before reading your words! Thanks for the quick memory!
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