I’m sitting here struggling to type out some words. This is largely due to the fact that I practically cut my index finger off while chopping up a tomato last night. P always warns me that I’m risking severe injury when I don’t sharpen my knives before I use them, but that requires a lot of effort and it’s so much easier to walk around in pain clutching my Neosporin-to-Go and a box of flexible Band-Aids while complaining about how bad my finger hurts.
Between you and me, I have no idea how I’m going to get the garland on my front porch now. The index finger is absolutely essential to that process. You wouldn’t think it would be, but you would be wrong. And, honestly, I think it serves me right for not getting our outdoor decorations up before now. I always try (and fail!) to convince P we need to put them up the weekend after Thanksgiving to get maximum seasonal enjoyment, but there is thing called HUNTING SEASON that trumps outdoor illumination.
But rumor has it that the lights are going up later today and I’ll do the best I can to decorate the front porch in spite of my compromised index finger. Rumor also has it that P is definitely working on his gift list and it will be ready on Friday.
My mom is in town so we made a trip back to the hospital to see Baby Luke yesterday. My sister (Not my twin, by the way. She’s four years younger.) is doing really well and when the nurse came in to ask her to rate her pain on that stupid pain chart with all the faces, she answered that she was a two. A two? A two still shows a smiley face. I thought everyone knew that you never answer lower than a five. Heck, I would rate my finger between a six and a seven, possibly even an eight if it weren’t for the anesthetic I sprayed on it earlier.
But no one really seemed that concerned about my finger. In fact, no one even asked me to rate my pain, which just seems wrong since it’s not like I got an epidural before I cut my finger.
While the nurse was tending to my sister, I took it upon myself to change Luke out of his hospital-issued attire and change him into something a little fancier. My poor brother-in-law didn’t grow up in a family of women, so he called out to my sister, “Melanie is playing dress up with our baby.” To which she replied, “OH GOOD!” because all those years we dressed up our dolls and cats totally prepared us for playing dress up with real live babies.
Of course part of my reason for wanting to dress him up was purely for the chance to unwrap him and look at his sweet fat baby legs. I gently laid him on the bed, unwrapped him and made the strategic error of checking his diaper. It was a very full diaper. All I wanted was to put him in a blue gown and instead I ended up having to wipe newborn tar off his bottom while he screamed at the injustice of life.
Just as I got him all cleaned up, I slipped a new diaper under his little bottom and he retaliated by peeing all over me. I forgot that boys come with a weapon. So then I had to start cleaning him up all over again while he voiced his opposition and I kept calling to my sister, “HE’S FINE! HE’S TOTALLY FINE!”
And he was. By the time she saw him again, he was in a pretty (handsome?) little gown, peacefully wrapped in his blue satin blankie with a sweet blue sweater cap on his head.
So of course we had to unwrap him and take some pictures. It’s what we do.
Bless his heart, he didn’t seem to mind.
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My ovaries are hurting now.
Can’t. Stand. The Cuteness.
What a precious little man!
Thank you for starting my day with a smile. Today is a hard day for me, so it was just what I needed!
Terry
http://pink-itsmorethanjustacolor.blogspot.com/
This reminds me of my husband talking about our childbirth experiences. He always emphasizes the discomfort of the fold-out hospital chair, and says his back was in such agony he was calling for a morpheine drip, and that the pain men go through just isn’t appreciated! I’m not doing it right, but it’s v funny. Hope your finger feels better soon
And that baby boy is just so sweet!
He’s precious!! You’ll always have that story to tell that you were the first one he ’shot’ at…it’s an honor to hold that placement with a little boy. Congratulations to all of you, and I hope your finger heals well and soon. Maybe you can use it as an excuse to cuddle up on the couch today with a movie and candy; at least that’s what I’d do.
Very sweet! Congratulations.
It’s what WE do too! Love it!
Very very sweet!
Brings back memories of my little men children. A collective ahhhhhh…. please;)
Ooohhh, what a precious baby boy. He is so handsome! We too, take a ridiculous amount of pictures of our girl. Sometimes I think she sees spots, but who wouldn’t love a polka-dot covered world?
Newborn tar, hahaha. Boy, does that hit it just right! Brings back memories for sure, and what a sweet sight in that picture.
Oh, that picture makes me want to have a little boy!!!
He is so precious.
I think you need to write a letter to the hospital staff. To ignore your injury was the height of unprofessionalism. They could have given you a percacet prescription, or at the very least some codeine or something so you could sleep off the pain.
I am actually really looking forward to P’s gift list. Other than “ammo and flashlight batteries and Glenn Beck’s new book,” my hubby didn’t give me much to go on this year. I think he and P might be long-lost cousins, so I am sure whatever is on P’s list will be more than helpful to me.
Luke is too precious.
Ah! They don’t stay newborns long enough!
I love that y’all used to dress up your cats. My sisters and I did that, too. Heck, the middle sister used to baptize the neighborhood cats in our bird bath. You could hear the screeches a block away.
Too cute and yep, little boys do come with their own little weapons.
He’s beautiful! And BTW as mama to 4 boys…they can be pretty and beautiful at least until they start losing their babyness. Congrats to your family!
Have you seen the Brian Regan sketch about rating your pain? “Say eight! Say eight!”
Hilarious.
Anyway.
Congrats on a beautiful little man-child in your family!!
How sweet!! Yes, it has been a pleasant surprise with my newborn girl that I don’t ever get peed on since my now 2 year old boy used his “weapon” on me quite frequently!
You did the right thing! How cute is he!?
Cracking up at you not getting an epidural before you cut your finger.
Oh Melanie–if you could’ve been a fly on the wall when my daughter was in labor AND delivery. I’m telling you it was scary. SCARY! And I’ve had three WITH epidurals. She had an epidural as well, mind you. But still, VERRRYYY scary!
And boys and their weapons–OH MY GOODNESS! I have three girls! And even when I kept children and dispensed all manner of nanny nurturing including bathing the newborns daily! DAILY! I STILL have NEVER, EVER seen a baby boy’s weapon go off so much in all my life. We were totally unprepared.
Three weeks later, we’re going through less diapers (in one change, that is), less outfits and less baths due to peeing all over himself when we change Gavin.
That little nephew of yours is so darn precious! I would love to squeeze those hams!
Sorry about your finger. Just awful. I think P should get home health out there for you.
I love the sweater cap! He looks so precious! (if PRECIOUS is an ok word to use for a cute little boy!)
What a fun Christmas present! Kind of makes my reproductive system a little nostalgic. Please be sure to tell us when he refuses to sleep and cries for 11 hours straight so I can get over it!
Sooo cute! Congratulations on your little nephew!
What an adorable little man! Congratulations to you all.
I swear to you this exact situation happened 3 weeks ago when I went to visit the BFF who had just had her 2nd–a boy. Changing outfits, changing diaper, pee’d on…the whole 9 yards.
Well, minus the cut finger. I didn’t have that. : )
Good sister!!
He is darling : )
Has Caroline seen him yet? In our “neck of the woods” they won’t let ANY visitors under 19 into the hospital rooms due to the H1N1 or hamster flu or whatever it is being called now. SWEET BABY! Yes, I agree with total momsense, I NEED to know if he cries for 11 hours straight because seeing his sweet little face makes me want MORE!!!
Oh, he’s so precious. I want to smell him.
Serious serious baby fever. Serious.
He’s beautiful and will be well trained soon.
He is toooooo cute!!!!!
Hope your poor finger gets to feeling better!
He’s yummy! I’m salivating just looking at him.
Sorry about the finger.
Oh, how precious!! Congrats and enjoy your new little nephew blessing
Please tell me you’ve seen this video!! You must run off and do it right now. You’ll get a kick out of it!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM-HWkbnDfg&feature=related
That is one of the most precious pictures ever! And yes boys do come with a weapon! I was blessed with one just one boy but two. But I still think the funniest thing to watch is when those precious baby boys use that weapon on their dad while he changing them. My mother in law says it’s just revenge for all the times he did that to her while she was changing him! I have to ask, what does Caroline think of him?
The weapon works overtime in the bathtub!!! I drained many a tubs full of water due to the fountain.
Congrats to Amy!!!!!
I’m actually very concerned about your finger! I mean, neosporin-to-go is some serious drug usage…is it feeling better? Have you got full feeling back? How’s your pain rating now? 5-6? Any smilies make the chart? =)
P.S. Super cute baby and congrats to your sister and family!
P.P.S. Super cute blog and I look forward to reading more!
Mindy
http://www.thesuburbanlife.com
Please stop with all the pictures of adorable newborns. It makes me want more babies… and my youngest is just 5 months. I’m just talking crazy from the continued sleepless nights.
Somewhere my husband is having a heart attack!
I want a little baby to play dress up with too!
Darn those boys and their weaponry. I love babies though, they make me so happy, even when they’re voicing their opposition to getting changed!
I have 2 boys and yes they have their own defense mechanism. I love that they used to get their Dad instead of me. Paybacks are beautiful!
Oh, sweet baby Luke. Must.have.baby.boy. now!
I completely understand hunting season. Our outdoor decorations have been waiting by the door for nearly 3 weeks now! First weekend-couldn’t b/c deer season, 2nd weekend- deer season (8 point buck!), they better go up this weekend or somebody’s hunting gear is going to mysteriously vanish.
Oh too funny! Our family dog would NEVER let us dress him up. Not even barrettes in his hair.
Sorry about your finger. Sharpening your knives would not have helped. I sliced my finger with a really sharp knife. You just don’t notice the pain right away.
Your nephew is adorable.
Little boys are born with weapons. They grow up to use bigger weapons. And the fascination never ends.
I think you just explained a lot about the male species to me. It all starts with that first out-of-diaper pee.
A-flippin’-dorable! I love baby stories… mine = child #1 was born in Germany while Daddy was in Iraq (but hey, at least he was on the phone with me)… child #2 surprised us seven months ago while we were having a nice trip to San Fran and she decided that was the best time to come into the world. Less than 24 hours after having her, we were back in the car driving 5 hours back home. And I forgot to ask for a donut to sit on… I bet they didn’t even have a frowning face on their pain scale that would’ve adequately described that feeling. CONGRATS, Auntie!
Oh my ovaries! I want one!
Sorry about your finger.
Can’t wait for P’s list.
*sniff* Awww!! Too cute. My uterus is now cussing you out. So sorry about that. It’s a bit bitter. :}
Hope your finger feels better.
Ooooo he’s so stinkin sweet!
I miss those days……mine are 19, 16 & 15!
Precious feller!
Hey, let your sister know that buying a pack of the cloth diapers is a must with a boy. I used them to cover them up as I changed them. I also used them to cover them up as I gave them a bath.
Little Luke is such a sweet bundle. Gives you a different perspective on Mary’s thoughts when Baby Jesus was born.
Oh reading this made me hurt for another baby….but don’t tell my hubby. He would panic. Since we are 43 and 45 with a 4 year old we won’t be doing that again.
He is darling!
He is so cute! I love that baby smell.
I tagged you in a meme here if you have time
Now my ovaries hurt. He’s just darling.
And oh my WORD you did not just cut your finger. I took a knife class at William Sonoma on Monday night, and he told us to hone our knives before each use. Gads. And to think I used to hone mine twice a year. No wonder they had become so worthless!
Hope your finger heals soon so that outdoor illumination can commence.
Is it David Sedaris who reported a seven on the pain scale and subsequently received morphine or some comparable sedative. And then proceeded to wander the hospital halls in a semi-conscious state advising all other patients to report sevens? I hope so.
That line about boys coming with a weapon is classic and should be patented if you can do such a thing. And after reading earlier comments I feel like a real cooking loser. I have honed my knives….never. Honed my fingers quite a few times though.
I used to have one of those and now he is almost four. *Tear* Seriously though, he is perfect! What a gift!
Sweet baby! So sorry about your finger…
He is just yummy.
Big Mama, I am so excited for you and your family! Well, about Nephew Luke, not your awful finger injury. Say, have you ever heard of a Pee Pee Teepee? Fantastic little cones of terrycloth…they have thwarted many a Gus-plan to pee in my eye.
Merry Christmas!!!
What a sweet Christmas present. :>)
Two tips:
1) Life is too short to sharpen knives. May I recommend the self-honing knives from The Pampered Chef? I think I just did. You just store them in their case and it sharpens them every time you slide them in and out. Life-changing. Also, makes husband think he is “storing weaponry” instead of just putting the dishes away.
2) Swab some Almond Oil on that baby’s butt and it prevents those first sticky deposits from adhering (so you don’t have to use your self-honing knives to pry it off).
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