There was a point last week after all the Christmas festivities were over that I began to think how sad it was going to be when Caroline had to go back to school. But then P left town for four days to go hunting with some friends. Caroline and I spent those days playing vast amounts of Monopoly Junior and putting the same Scooby Doo puzzle together over and OVER again while watching G-Force which, if you don’t know (and if you don’t have kids then why would you?), is all about some guinea pigs in the special forces.
Then I let her sleep with me in my bed and she pulled off her socks in the middle of the night, flung them on my face and said, “Here. I’m tired of wearing these now.” Never mind that I was sound asleep and didn’t really need to know about her sock issues. It was a combination that caused my sadness over the impending end of Christmas vacation to wane just a bit.
So yesterday marked our re-entry into the real world. Actually it marked her re-entry. P took her to school so I spent most of the morning in my pajamas immersed in important internet research. Namely, trying to see if anyone has this Lucky Brand leopard print coat on sale yet. It appears the answer is no.
But I felt like I’d earned a little bit of down time, especially since we spent the last day of vacation going to a birthday party that involved ice-skating. As in, I had to put on shoes of death and attempt to glide across an icy surface with my thirty-eight year center of gravity.
However, P picked up some delicious sandwiches for lunch which caused me to rally. We got the rest of our Christmas decorations safely tucked away in the attic and achieved something that hasn’t happened in this house since FOREVER.
Oh sure. It may just look like a piece of furniture to you, but it is a piece of furniture (with ducks swimming under it apparently) that we move into our bedroom every year to make room for our Christmas tree. And it usually remains there until mid-April. I spend countless hours staring at the blank wall across from our couch and think about how we really ought to move the church pew but then I see something shiny on T.V. and forget about it.
But this year it’s already back in its rightful position in the living room. HOORAY FOR 2010, you have already exceeded my expectations.
Also, hooray for Martha Stewart who taught me a little trick about moving heavy furniture by placing towels under it and sliding it across the floor. She also taught me how to make beautiful ponchos but that’s a story for another time because it would be complete fiction and I’d have to make it up first.
Anyway, thanks to Martha, I moved that pew before and after Christmas ALL BY MYSELF. In fact, while I was in the midst of sliding it back to our bedroom before Christmas, P walked in the back door, saw me pushing that pew across the kitchen floor with it jacked up on two beach towels and said, “I’ll be outside if you need anything”.
Because why would I need help moving a 200 pound piece of furniture. I mean, I had beach towels to help me.
Although yesterday he did help me PIVOT it into the living room which probably saved a large chunk of our wall from being sacrificed at the hands of the Martha Stewart moving method. Honestly, I’m not even sure I learned it from Martha. It might have just been on HGTV or an episode of Friends. I can’t remember.
I realize this post passed the random mark about four hundred words ago (Who cares about my pew? Who needs to know about the beach towels? Is it important that my child threw socks in my face?) and if you don’t care about football then please feel free to quit reading at this point.
Is it just me or has this bowl season been the most random one in the history of bowl season? I don’t want to offend anyone but if someone had listed these bowl games match-ups back in August, I would have thought they were making it up. Frankly, I’m bored.
And I realize there’s still a big game to come on Thursday, but I don’t really want to talk about it.
I’d rather bask in the glory of my furniture-moving success.
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The “PIVOT…PIVOT” episode of Friends is one of my favorites, and as soon as I read the word up there I heard Ross’s voice. The same thing happens when I hear “unagi.”
P’s comment sounds very much like what my husband might say after having seen me move something heavy. I usually get, “Honey, you can’t move that by yourself,” even though he’s just watched me singlehandedly wrestle an armoire down the hall and across the room.
I hope the first day back to school was a good one. I teach 5th grade, and today reminded me just how ready I am for summer vacation.
Hmmmm. That big game on Thursday. Dare I say it from my home in Austin?
Hook ‘em.
Definitely got the Friends reference right away. LOVE it.
Pi-VAAAHHHT, Pi-VAAAAHHHT!
Excellent reference!
Reading you is still one of the joys of my day.. thank you for the many laughs this morning! Enjoy your child-free day to surf the Internet!!!
Many beat me to it, but I don’t care… PIVOT… PIVOT… PIVOT…
Ah, salmon skinroll…
Your blog is the first thing I look at when I get to work apart from clocking in. Everyone asks me why I’m always laughing first thing in the morning and I just reply that they wouldn’t get it. And they wouldn’t. Thanks for starting my day off right.
The hubs and I watched (and by the hubs and I “watched”, I mean the hubs watched and I tried to convince him that the Bachelor was on and surely 25 desperate women were more interesting than the Fiesta Bowl) Boise State and TCU play last night.
Can I just say that I don’t even know THAT much about football and even I was disturbed and, quite frankly, annoyed by the number of penalties?
Can I also make another ridiculously long run on question-sentence? I think not.
My point is, why did TCU and Boise State play on national TV when the white team’s quarterback (see, I told you I wasn’t watching it really) couldn’t throw a completion to save his life and the bluish/purple team did nothing other than have 1 decent defensive player?
(Oh look, I DID make another one! I feel accomplished already today and it’s only 7:43am!)
And which ever team was TCU, I’m thinking that they might wanna rethink the whole “C” in TCU. Especially in those first 10 or so minutes of the game.
I’m just sayin’.
that is one of my all time favorite Friends episodes – makes me laugh every time I move furniture! Gotta love Ross – PIVOT!
I am crying I am laughing so hard!! I have not thought of that episode in years and it’s HILARIOUS –
PIVOT – PIVOT – PIVOT!!
thanks for the laugh
I love a random post!
LOVED that episode…I also love how Friends can be used to reference just about anything in life.
Good for you for getting all your stuff to the attic. I got all mine up on Sunday afternoon. Except the pile of lights that my hubs wrapped around some pieces of cardboard for me and then left on the armchair in the living room.
And I have been too lazy to throw them in a bag and haul them back up to the attic. Same thing as your church pew, except it’s just a bag of lights and not a big heavy piece of furniture. You win.
Just feel like saying Roll Tide!
Your randomness cracks me up every single morning!
I know it’s been said, but thanks for the Friends reference. I thought my friend and I were the only one who adore Ross and his Pivot, but I was clearly mistaken. My husband hates whenever we move furniture because I’m the one in the corner yelling “PIVOT”
After that episode, I’m pretty sure he officially became my favorite Friend. The one where he gets a spray tan and suddenly becomes an 8 is another one of my favorites!
That Friends episode is not only one of my favorites, but is a running joke with my friends and I when we help each other move.
Like clockwork, someone always screams, “PIVOT!!” when moving the big stuff. : )
You definitely learned your furniture moving techinique from Friends. It immediately popped into my head when I read the word!!
The only thing that matters in this Bowl season is that the SEC is kicking some serious behind.
Yes on the random football, although I have watched my share anyway. In fact, last Friday I watched three bowl games in a row I think, with not a single rooting interest in any of them. I just couldn’t remove myself from my dad’s awesome reclining couch and flat panel TV.
Oh yes!!! That big game on Thursday would be my longhorns!! You don’t have to cheer for them, just cheer for the Big 12!!!!
I LOVED this post. I got a huge laugh out of it so it was totally useful for me!
I have a church pew like that too, only I don’t move it for Christmas. I don’t move it at all. In fact, I think it is holding up the wall it is leaning against.
Thanks for making me smile!
Have a great day!
paige
Wonderful post, as usual. G Force really bothers me, as G Force/Battle of the Planets was my favorite cartoon as a kid, and Guinea Pigs just aren’t as entertaining to me.
My parents have a VERY LONG church pew in their house. Unfortunatley it has a bright orange cushion across the entire thing.
PIVOT.
I’d like to talk about the game on Thursday. I’d always like to talk about the game on Thursday. \m/
And if you have carpet, you can move heavy furniture by tucking glossy magazines under the corners!
Obviously, I missed that Pivot episode of Friends…I have to see it now!
If you are like me you are still recovering from our Aggies bowl appearance. It has set the tome for everything else. My only bright spot was Florida. And as far as Thrusday goes, go ‘bama, or whatever they say. Just beat the heck outta tu!
She threw her socks at you? while you were asleep? That’s it, out of the will!!
The bowl match ups have been completely random. But, did you see the OT in the Auburn game? Crazy! I, however, can never tire of talking about Thursday’s game. If Texas fails to show up, well then, I won’t talk about it anymore. It is all that is on my mind lately. That, and why do men need 5 different types of hunting knives? And how does one break a knife on a deer bone exactly?
Love a Friends reference anytime. And as for Thursday’s game, it’s ROLL TIDE! We welcome all you Aggies to cheer right along with us. Sorry to you Texas fans, I have no doubt it is going to be a great game.
PIVOT. One simple word that cracks me up everytime. Love it. Love Ross.
Good for you Big Mama. My Christmas stuff is still up. I’m celebrating the way the Victorians did it. Yeah, that’s it. Twelve days of Christmas. I guess that means I have to take down the tree tomorrow.
Pih-VUT. Pih-VUT. PIH! VUT! Ohhh, Imma let you finish, but that was one of the BEST Friends episodes of all time. OF ALL TIME!
I love your pew. I’ve always wanted a pew.
PIVOT — one of the funniest episodes EVER!
Way cute!! Loved it! First time to visit; I’ll be back!
That PIVOT episode of Friends is an all-time favorite of mine. I use that word anytime I’m moving furniture or a TV tray. Honestly, it never gets old!
Love the bench!
BCS is so retarded, they really need a new system. If they keep coming up with match-ups like this, hopefully numbers will drop, advertisers will drop and finally they’ll change it. As always only money will affect it!
I’d love to use that towel method… but I think there’s a prerequisite of having hardwood floors… and they SERIOUSLY need to change the BCS… it’s horribly messed up.
Dont get me wrong…I LOVE me some Martha and all that she has to offer to the word…even if it involves a little scandal BUT these (http://www.ezmoves.com/) are WAY better than a beach towel. AND they move on carpet. I am 4 months pregnant and moved a dresser like it was nothing. I mean…I totally appreciate the towel idea, I may even use it but just in case…the furniture sliders are pretty darn handy!
Have a great day!
I am loving all the PIVOT comments. That was the first thing that came to mind when you mentioned Friends.
we’re a house of Aggies here in Dallas, and we say ROOOOLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!
and you’re right…this IS a disappointing year for bowl games. someone was trying to explain the college bowl system to me earlier this week, to expand my limited understanding, and it gave me a headache.
Isn’t it amazing how we as women can birth babies, move furniture, but a guy can’t even make himself a sandwich?
Most of the bowl games haven’t been that exciting but did you see the half time show last night? Too funny. Go here to watch it. I’m still laughing over the cow bell girls excitement and the drum majors dance moves and gown! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7V_odUM_yA
@ Katherine@GrassStains…making a current pop culture reference while referencing a Friends reference referenced in this post? Well that’s just pure genius and my sides hurt! Girl you are gooood!
Oh and this born and raised BAMA girl says ROLL TIDE! Boo Texas…and their stupid horns.
I totally loved and appreciate the random in this post…but even more I love and appreciate that pew! It’s gorgeous!
And, yes- I agree with the bowl games. I have, however, gotten a lot more things accomplished and organized, etc at the beginning of 2010 than normal bc the bowl games just aren’t as exciting. I guess all is not lost.
Roll Tide!!!
Regarding moving things in your house….I have received that same response from my husband every time we try to move anything around.In fact we have a new dining room table from his grandmother’s cool antique store wrapped up and sitting in the garage that he doesn’t want to swap out yet with our present antique and smallish table.
Regarding bowl games…..J is a Tech grad so all I’ve heard for the last 7 or 8 days is his indignation over Leach’s firing while he angrily texts back and forth to his Tech buddies about the injustice of it all.
Since I’m a Baylor grad, bowl games weren’t part of my college education.
I liked your random post. And I’m proud of your beach towel moving skills.
Thats what makes your blog such a great read. Its random. Who needs useful crap to fill our heads with? Not me. When I sit down to my computer for some down time, I want random who gives a crap. Thanks!
also, if you are moving a piece of furniture( by yourself ), and it has feet, I have found that socks on the feet work well. It gives the socks feet that need them, and your furniture will take on a Dr.Seuss quality!
Seriously. I almost just spit out my yogert laughing at your pew story and P not helping. Too funny. Maybe I should start reading your blog when I’m not on my lunch hour… wait… my boss wouldn’t like that:)
Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Okay, I know it’s been mentioned 1 or 100 times but after months and months of watching “Friends” reruns trying to find that hilarious “PIVOT” episode, we finally found it about 3 weeks ago and recorded it so we could watch it over and over and over again. Classic!!
Just recently found your blog. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your writing style. So fun to read your outlook on the world. Thanks for sharing with all of us!
You TOTALLY learned it from Friends! I laughed out loud when I got to that part of today’s post.
Hooray for passing the random mark! You wrote how I think, but more clearly somehow, and I loved it. I was just thinking about how perhaps I could try your towel-Martha Stewart- Friends furniture moving trick, but then realized… I have carpeted floors. Don’t think it will work!
Anyway, thanks for the afternoon respite from my job.
How is this possible? You made me laugh about moving furniture.
And since you mentioned it: ROLL TIDE!
I’ve never commented on here before but I’ve been reading for a while. You crack me up. Every time I say the work PIVOT, I picture Ross Gellar and the white couch.
Oh, and HOOK ‘EM!
I feel the same way about the bowl season this year. It seems like there were none to really look forward too. I have to say that I am pulling for Alabama on Thursday night. Roll Tide:)
I’m an FSU fan by the way:) LOL
Here’s something that I never thought I’d say since I’m a Big 12 fan all the way: “Roll ‘Tide!” At least the Crimson part is similar to OU’s Crimson and Cream! But I’d “Sooner” root for some whacked out crazed lunatic than anyone wearing burnt orange. I’m just sayin’…
I realize that you don’t know me at all, and I realize that it might be strange to you that I live in Cali and read your blog everyday, laugh outloud, and often tell my husband what my “really funny blog friend in Texas” had to say today (not that he cares, but you get the point… it sticks with me!)… well let’s just say that with your FRIENDS “pivot” reference you just upgraded yourself to “my BEST friend in Texas” and you may win my husbands heart over as well. We are big fans of the show and own all 10 seasons on DVD. It’s our one show that we’ll watch an episode of each night to “wind down” the day before heading to bed. As far as football goes… I’m with you there! Can’t wait for Thursday’s game.
Hilarious! That “pivot” comment left me laughing out loud!
Go Horns!
I’m with you, the football she is boring. Only the Florida game was entertaining. Lordy Mercy, I am ready for that “big game” to be over. As a native Alabamian who does NOT PULL FOR THE TIDE OR THE TIGERS- which causes a collective jaw drop from the OTHER natives who can’t BELIEVE that… (GO STATE!), I can’t pick up a newspaper, turn on a tv station, or ride around in my little town without being BOMBARDED with crimson and white A’s everywhere. But, I digress. It’s a proud moment, apparently, for my neighbors in crimson (I live 70 miles from Tuscaloosa) so I’ll have to pull for the tide. Even though it’ll be halfheartedly. As I’m sure you understand- being an Aggie fan and all, it will be hard to pull for Texas, but it is your home state. Talk about randomness…and boredom….sorry to cause your eyeballs to bleed!
Martha can really teach you a lot, like how to fold the fitted sheet. I feel blah, blah, blah about that game on Thursday too. However, hubs is a longhorn so….
I LOVE that episode of Friends!
OMG- I love your blog! I just started reading last week. I have found my internet “twin.” You are the first person I have read on line that writes a blog and includes all the details (wether they are part of the story or not- which is extremely meaningful in my book!). Love it!!!!
I’m tucking this beauty of a line away and will pretend like I think it up myself at a later date:
but that’s a story for another time because it would be complete fiction and I’d have to make it up first.
Awesome.
Oh – and that’s one of my favorite friends episode of all time.
Roll Tide!
I neeeded a good laugh today… Thank you!
After reading this post I could not stop thinking and laughing about the “see something shiny on TV” line. Why are you so hilarious? Thanks for writing.
Martha has her place and all. Draw the line at investing strategies. I’m just sayin’.
The “random”….it is a keeper. Thanks for making me guffaw!! I can ALWAYS count on your blog to inspire, encourage, make me ponder or raise the “happiness quotient” of my day.
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