Tuesday night I went out with my girlfriends for what we call Birthday Club. We always go to the same Mexican restaurant, drink margaritas and laugh until we cry. We all brought a bottle of wine to exchange, which I have to say was a great idea. I find this time of year you can’t have enough wine in the house or maybe it’s just because I have a three year old.
Anyway, last night we had a discussion about bad Christmas presents we have received in years past. Gulley won hands down with the jar of mayonnaise that she got from her mother-in-law one year. Expired mayonnaise. Seriously. A jar of expired mayonnaise.
Nothing says welcome to our family like expired dairy products.
Of course in all fairness, that was also the year her mother-in-law bought her own son a Polo shirt from the Ralph Lauren outlet and the sleeves were too short. When he told his mom the sleeves weren’t long enough, her response was that he should just keep his hands down by his side because then they might work.
I can’t make this stuff up.
We also covered a variety of other topics, including the Paula Deen episode where Paula is making iced gingerbread men cookies. Have y’all seen it?
Paula is decorating these gingerbread men and decides to decorate one like her husband Michael. She says, “Y’all I’m going to make this one real hairy like Michael and he’s going to be wearing white shorts because Michael loves to wear his white shorts. He’s so sweet I’m just going to bite his head off” and then she cackles that cackle that only Paula can do.
P walked in last year while I was watching it (because yes, I’ve watched it more than once…it’s oddly compelling) and said, “She is a nut.” And yes, she is. But she’s a rich nut that cooks great food.
Then yesterday morning, Caroline and I went to run errands. We had an important list of things to do such as buy stamps so that I can mail Christmas cards that don’t even exist at this point. I’m not sure how I dropped the ball on this (really I blame the bank for making me travel the first week of December), but I realized late last week that I had neglected to order cards. When I finally started the process, I had two separate online stationery companies tell me they could guarantee delivery for December 28th, which would be okay if we celebrated Kwanzaa. Anyway, the third try was a charm and I should have some Christmas cards to mail out sometime before the new year. At least my stamps are ready to go. That’s what’s really important.
We also had to run in Whole Earth to search for something containing acidophilous. To put it mildly and to help y’all keep your breakfast down, let’s just say that Caroline has had some intestinal distress over the last week. The pediatrician recommended sprinkling acidophilous powder on her food to help regulate her digestive system. And for the record, being regular isn’t necessarily the problem. But anyway, here’s hoping it works. I’ve actually thrown away four pairs of underwear in the last week.
It was really the only option.
In the afternoon, we went over to play with Gulley and her boys. I am beyond happy to report that the sugar cookie baking has officially started. Her countertop was covered in snowmen, christmas trees, and candy canes all just waiting to be glazed and sugared. The first bite of sugar cookie will be one of the highlights of my year.
And I guess this is what motherhood does to you…in one post I went from drinking margaritas with my girlfriends to throwing away soiled underwear and eating sugar cookies.
But not at the same time.