I had imagined that today I would write a post reflecting on my deep thoughts regarding the end of 2006 and the beginning of 2007. I would detail my goals, plans and hopes, but honestly…I’m just not feeling very reflective today. Maybe next week once my outdoor Christmas decorations finally join my indoor Christmas decorations in the attic, I’ll feel a little more coherent and be able to share something beautifully and succinctly (and really, isn’t that a goal in and of itself?)
So, instead of a deep, meaningful post, y’all are going to hear about our big New Year’s Eve at the ranch. And I’m sure none of y’all imagined that your 2007 would be off to such a wonderful start!
Caroline and I headed south about 9:00 yesterday morning and arrived at the ranch around 10:30. P came to meet us at the gate on a 4 wheeler and she insisted that she get out of the car and ride with Daddy. I didn’t see her again for about 3 hours.
Apparently they rode all over the ranch and she has never had so much fun in her life. It incorporated everything she loves…speed, adrenaline rushes, and getting completely muddy. Which aren’t those things every girl’s dream?
At some point, they finally made it back to the house and Caroline continued to run all over the place. She was thrilled to have 60 adults who all wanted to play with her, chase her and throw her up in the air. As I mentioned, none of them have kids so it’s a complete novelty to them to have her around.
P decided he wanted to go hunting and so I had the brilliant idea that Caroline and I should also go sit in a deer blind. After all, she had been talking the whole time about hunting and wanting to see deer. So in one of the great ironies of all time, I took my daughter for her first “hunt” in a deer blind.
We drove the four wheeler over to the blind while singing “Jingle Bells” at the top of our lungs (Caroline’s choice) and since for me hunting is all about convenience, I parked it all of about four feet from the blind. We climbed up into the blind and in my mind I was imagining a fun mother daughter experience involving looking at beautiful deer while eating animal crackers and watching the sun set over South Texas. You know, the stuff memories are made of.
Here’s what happened. We got up in the blind and played musical chairs for about ten minutes which involved much loudness and banging around. Then, we had to see how the door of the blind opened and managed to open it just as a huge gust of wind caused it to slam into the railing creating yet another loud noise. And in case y’all don’t know, loud banging noises are not conducive to seeing deer.
I have actually proved this theory because back when I used to go hunting and P would put me in a blind by myself, I would watch the deer for awhile and then start making noise to see how loud I could get before they went away. You do what you’ve got to do to pass the time in a deer blind.
Anyway, in between all the banging noises and the loud talking, I notice two things. The first is that I can see deer skirting the perimeter of the field but staying well within the tree cover because we were broadcasting our presence to anyone within a 15 mile radius. The second thing I notice is that there is an odor coming from my daughter’s bottom. So I ask, “did you poop?” and she answers, “yes, I did”.
I wasn’t sure that I was going to tell this part of the story, but I will serve a greater good and provide a public service by letting y’all know what to do in case you find yourselves in a deer blind, 15 feet off the ground with a child with poopy pants. Consider it a little New Year’s treat.
I became much like MacGyver with my incredible skill and ingenuity. I tore off part of the bag that the animal crackers were in, used it to pick the poop (which was thankfully solid and I know that’s too much information but it’s pertinent to the story) out of her underwear and threw the poop out of the window of the blind.
Oh yes I did.
Needless to say that between the noise and the flying human excrement, we had created a less than ideal hunting situation and did not see one single deer.
We headed back to the house on our four wheeler, waited for P to get back from his hunt, packed up our stuff and headed home.
Caroline was asleep before we even hit the highway.
And we all were home in our beds by 10:30 last night. That’s the stuff memories are made of.
*Please note that this is a play on the name of the latest James Bond movie because I tried desperately to come up with something that would reflect the year now being “007” and sadly, it’s the best I could do.