I’d like to thank myself for making these delicious chocolate chip cookies

Well, I’m sure it won’t surprise most of y’all in the least to know that I had a big, exclusive Oscar viewing party at the house last night. In fact, it was so exclusive that the only person in attendance was me. I was seriously living by the philosophy that I am my own best friend.

Such a fancy party obviously requires fancy food and clothes. I put on my best Gap flannel pajama pants and went vintage with a sweatshirt from a college Christmas formal.

My sophomore year in college.

A 1992 college formal.

Add a headband and a clippy to keep my hair out of my face and the word you’re looking for is FABULOUS. Beyonce had nothing on me.

Obviously, food is the cornerstone of any big party, but it’s hard to decide what fits such an important viewing occasion. In the end, I went with a combination of Sour Patch Kids and chocolate chip cookies. Variety really is the spice of life.

I was hoping that there would be a lot of good material, but really other than Ellen DeGeneres’ doing a really good job of hosting, there just isn’t much to report. Of course, some of that could be due to the fact that of all the movies nominated, I have seen two. Little Miss Sunshine and Dreamgirls. I’d like to lie and say the reason I’ve only seen those two is due to time constraints, but the truth is, all of the others don’t look good to me.

Well, except maybe The Queen. I mean really, who can’t get enough of the royal family? It’s not like they’re featured every week in People Magazine or anything.

Call me unsophisticated, but I just don’t care about seeing movies that involve war torn countries or vast governmental conspiracies or British butlers and maids (unless maybe they’re singing and dancing). I go to the movies to be entertained. If I want to be bored or depressed I can turn on CNN for free.

I guess this explains why the three best things about last night’s Oscars for me were Ellen getting Steven Spielberg to take her picture with Clint Eastwood, Will Ferrell and Jack Black singing about going home with Helen Mirren and fighting Mark Wahlberg, and Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson just flat singing.

I’ve never claimed to be a complicated person. It’s all about the simple moments for me. And since I was watching all by myself, I didn’t have to pretend to be any different or share my chocolate chip cookies.