Last Thursday night Caroline spent the night with Mimi and Bops while P and I pretended to be sophisticated and attended an art auction with some friends. If we had any doubts about our complete inability to appreciate all forms of contemporary art, they were put to rest that evening while we walked around like the Clampetts and occasionally marveled, “FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A PILE OF OLD TIRES?”
But we were feeling cosmopolitan enough to eat dinner in a restaurant at 10:30 and stay out until after midnight. Two things that haven’t happened on purpose since sometime in early 2002.
However, I wasn’t worried about living so fast and loose because Mimi and Bops were taking Caroline to school the next morning and I knew I could sleep late. Until I was washing my face at 1:04 a.m. and remembered that I had an early appointment to drop my car off at the dealership to get fixed. I really wanted to just bag on doing the whole automotive repair thing, but according to P it’s a bad sign when you have to refill the coolant every other day which I’d been doing for the better part of six months because procrastination is my place of comfort.
And since when is P an auto mechanic?
So I dropped off the car and drove to the library to meet Caroline’s class for a field trip. The librarian talked to the kids about the summer reading program and explained that if they read ten books over the summer they can come to the library and choose a free book. Caroline was sitting in my lap and whispered in my ear, “Do NOT sign me up for that. I don’t want to read ten books this summer.”
Oh. I’m afraid summer isn’t going to meet her expectations.
Naturally, I signed her up because if we’re going to fight over how many minutes she has to read every day, we might as well get a free book out of the deal.
While I was in the middle of helping her pick out a few library books, I heard my phone do it’s little beep thing it does when I get a text. It was from P and it read:
“Pray that the warranty is still good on the car.”
I texted back, “What’s wrong with it?”
“LOTS.”
Perfect. One of my very top goals for the summer was to spend a lot of money that could be used for Coppertone and fluffy beach towels and cute floral dinnerware on AUTO REPAIRS.
So in the course of ten minutes I discovered my child has no desire to read ten books this summer and there’s a high probability that we’ll be eating Ramen noodles all summer to offset the cost of a new radiator. It all kind of made me feel yuck, much like the way I felt when I saw Craig M. with that sweater tied around his shoulders on The Bachelorette.
P texted me twenty minutes later to let me know that everything was covered and HOORAY we’ll be able to eat nachos at the pool grill this summer. (He didn’t actually say anything about the nachos at the pool grill but I’m sure he meant to because they are delicious)
And so we spent the rest of the Memorial Day weekend swimming and eating and spending time with friends and family and driving around in a sweet loaner car from the dealership that I will be sad to part with when I pick up my car and my new radiator later today. (It doesn’t even have a real key. Just a key-like thing and then you push a button to start it. Technology is a wonder. Next thing you know we’ll all have portable phones that we can carry with us wherever we go. And maybe they’ll even have a computer in them!)
Anyway, after all our Memorial Day fun, Caroline was exhausted when I woke her up for school yesterday morning. She said, “Mama, I am still so TIRED even though I slept like a stone last night.” Stone, rock, whatever.
I dropped her off at school, but I had to go back later in the morning because she’d forgotten to bring her gift for her fifth grade buddy. I parked the loaner car in front of the school and walked over to the playground where her class was killing time. Because that’s what these last three days are all about. Killing time. Yesterday was bubble gum day, today is pajama day, tomorrow is crazy backwards day. I have a theory that they’re really not learning anything at this point.
After I dropped off the gift I walked back out to the car, opened the door and got in. I noticed it smelled a little different but didn’t think much of it until I realized I couldn’t figure out where to put the key. And then I realized that it had tan upholstery. And a stack of things in the passenger seat that didn’t belong to me.
I was sitting in the wrong car.
And I could not have jumped out faster if it had been on fire.
It’s time for summer. My brain is tired. And unlike my radiator, it’s not under any kind of extended warranty.
Too funny. Just read a similar story with MckMama about sitting in someone else’s car. Except she stayed for 30 minutes and tried everything under the sun to get the darn thing to start until the owner surprised her…
I’m glad it was all covered. Sadly, our 3 year old car’s fixes weren’t under warranty so I’ll be stocking up on ramen soon
Oh, that made me GIGGLE. I’m sorry, but my favorite part is how the car “smelled different.” That just makes me giggle even more. But, I TOTALLY know what you mean!! It’s just like when one of my girls will say, “You know how So and So’s house smells like an old person??” Because I ALWAYS know EXACTLY what they mean!
Smells, they are a powerful thing. I will leave you with that profound thought tonight… May you ponder it for at least 3 minutes…
so, you should order caroline a Mark my Time bookmark.
http://mark-my-time.com/
I think amazon has them. I get them for all my friends with elementary readers. I think it is great to help them with a sense of ownership and accomplishment. I think they are a great idea!
Hahahaaaa….ohh the horror of realizing you’re IN the wrong car! I’ve tried OPENING the wrong car before, but around here we have to lock our cars, so, thankfully, I didn’t actually get in! =) WHEW!
You didn’t hear it from me, but our my grades were due two weeks ago in first grade land. And Killing Time? It is our mission in life right now. Except that we are supposed to have our first 100 degree day here in central Texas, so extended recess may fall of the list…Remember when school ended in May? Those were the good old days.
Bahahahaha what a hoot! Fun stuff – memories girl – lots of memories. Enjoy each and every moment because the memories relived aren’t nearly as much fun. Mine are 28, 24, 23, 21 and soon to be 20. They are all pretty much on their own and I really miss those crazy mornings of finding shoes, lost homework, lost text books, forgotten lunches – trips to the clinic – etc etc. but enjoy the conversations and watching them move into their first purchased home. My time flies.
Oh I am so glad to be “back” in bigmamablogLand……
…..and just as I expected, had a great laugh!
I’ve done the same thing with the car…..I was coming out of church and Nev jumped in the car with me….she kept asking why we had new stickers on the back windshield, but I didn’t really pay attention. Like you….I noticed this car appeared much different, (it was actually clean and you could see the floor)…..but only until the key didn’t work did I realize it was not mine.
We celebrated Memorial Day hillbilly style…..walking in a town parade with our goats and alpacas. I will tell you that I did master my parade wave.
Have a great day!
*~Michelle~*
You are so funny! I’m so glad that I’m not the only one things like that happen to. Summer is coming…just hang in there! We have begun our summer break here…and it is pure bliss. Pure bliss and a sun burn…and some painful recovery time from a Slip and Slide incident. (Let’s just say that there’s probably a reason it says ages 5-12 on the box…and not up to age 34!)
Gabe is at the auto repair shop right this minute spending our pool membership money on new brakes. Our girls are going to be THRILLED. And mine actually WANT to read this summer (as long as I pay them in cash per chapter).
You are totally right about killing time at school these last days. The kids have checked out, and the teachers are praying for the end
I like this sentence….it made me scratch my head in puzzlement:
So I dropped off the car and drove to the library to meet Caroline’s class for a field trip.
Ahem, WE have school until June 24th. No we don’t start until after Labor Day but I’m still convinced we log many more days and hours than any other school.
And my DD? She is not a reader, either, and I have learned not to push her. I’m hoping that by laying off, one day she’ll pick it up on her own and enjoy it. Until then, no summer reading programs for us!
)
Your blog entries always make me smile. Love starting my day this way:-)
I think your theory on learning in the last 3 days of school is spot-on. The kids are tired, the teachers are really tired, and the parents need those last 3 days to prepare for the onslaught of summer.
Glad to hear you’ll be feasting on nachos this summer at the pool. Our pool doesn’t have nachos. I think they only have a Coke machine and maybe some ice cream bars??
I’ll be in Katy this weekend for my cousin’s wedding. Looking forward to seeing what Texas can do this summer to my hair.
Big blessings on the auto repairs, school getting out and not getting arrested for car-jacking!
Party on….Miss LIVE ON THE EDGE!!
hehe
A friend of mine was recently riding with another friend when they stopped at a convenience store. The friend in the passenger’s seat got out, went inside, came back, plopped into the car seat, shut the door and said, “OK, let’s go!” Silence and no movement, she looked toward the driver’s seat to see a perfect stranger sitting there. She had gotten into the wrong car when she came out of the store! Of course, she was mortified and our other friend was having one of those great Depends moments because she had watched the entire thing transpire! I tried not to laugh quite as hard, though, cause I believe in a twisted sort of karma!! (Even though I still think it’s one of the most hilarious stories I’ve ever heard and REALLY wish I’d have witnessed it firsthand!).
Hilarious!
The only better ending would have been the link to a newspaper article from The San Antonio News with your picture on the front cover.
Well I get to spend my summer money on a new central air conditioner, because apparently my kids aren’t as fond as I am about sweating off the pounds as a form of weight loss. Big babies.
Laughing, laughing at the car incident! When my kids were young I created a “Reading Bucks” deal. We made paper money and gave the kids Reading Bucks equal to the minutes they read, then had prizes and fun events that they could redeem/cash in their Bucks. It worked great, especially when the grand prize at the end of the summer was a trip to Water World in Denver, including a friend for each. Fun times!
As a substitute teacher, I can assure you that they are no longer learning anything. They know it, too. And I have to hang on until the 11th!
OMG! I laughed out loud when I read “And I could not have jumped out faster if it had been on fire.” What a hoot! I did this once too only when I jumped out of the wrong car, I looked all around the parking lot to make sure no one noticed my error. Too late. My daughter’s coach saw me and together we laughed. Oh, well…
This is the SECOND Blog where the writter got, or attempted to get in the wrong car! Sounds like we all need to go on vacation!!
I bet we’ll even be able to take pictures with them thar portable phones! You aren’t the only blogger I’ve read who has gotten into the wrong car. Clearly the manufacturers need better systems, no operator error. Oh no.
SO funny! I’ve had our soccer coach accidentally open my hatch and found boxes of leftover alcohol from a party I threw (nice impression). Funny thing is that his car doesn’t even look like mine (other than being an SUV). No wonder he looks at me funny now. ; )
Craig M. made it hurt to like turquoise (did you SEE those pants?!)
Glad the car was still under warranty!
So funny! I almost threw groceries into a man’s cart yesterday while he was pushing it. He looked at me like I was crazy. If only he knew!
-FringeGirl
last October I went to visit my cousin in Florida. They went to a revival, I went to see Brandon Heath, Leeland and Francisca in concert. After driving almost fifteen minutes I realized I had left my wallet at my cousins home. Had to drive back and get it. Then after the concert I went out into the parking lot looking for my cousins husbands truck. I kept clicking the unlock button. I saw a truck flash its lights and I walked right up to the truck. And jumped in. I too quickly recognized my mistake and flew out of the truck. The owners were walking towards me, laughing. The next ruck that blinked its lights at me got a through inspection before I climbed in.
Oh that is funny! Glad school is almost over so you can just hang out and relax! As a former elementary school teacher turned homeschool mom, I can attest to the fact that the last week is, indeed, just “killing time”.
Also, my computer won’t let me get your email address in the “contact me” section, but I wanted to ask your opinion about Toms shoes. Aside from their awesome practice of giving shoes to children in need, what do you think of late 30 something moms wearing them? Too trendy?
A couple of months ago, I stopped at Starbucks for my daily motivation to stay awake. I walked out and tried like the devil to get into my car, even though the keyless remote wouldn’t unlock the thing. It wasn’t until I tried the key and looked inside to notice a very clean car with no carseats. My car was two spaces over. A group of men inside the shop were laughing their heads off at me. I can’t really blame them…
Had a similar experience the other day…We just bought a new car..Not a fancy one, just one that we paid a few thousand dollars for and didn’t really care what it looked like as long as it would get me back and forth to work…Well didn’t really care what it looked like, that is, until I went to Wal-Mart in the thing and walked out and COULDN’T REMEMBER what it looked like or what color it was or the make and model!!…Panicked (that doesn’t look right but I googled it and sure enough there’s a website that claims that’s how you spell it) for a few long seconds and then found it.
Oh my word I’m howling with laughter!!! HOWLING!!!
“Procrastination is my place of comfort” should be trademarked and printed on T-shirts. I’ll order seven in various colors, please.
That stinks about your car. Good thing it was under warranty! I just love reading your stories! you always make me laugh! Good luck on those 10 books!
We have eggs, baked potatoes, Totino’s pizza, and tacos on the menu every night until we die. We are dangerously close to being a one car family. Basically we need a new transmission but we refuse to spend thousands on a car that isn’t worth more than a pack of Bubble Yum. And we refuse to buy a new car because… well… we can’t afford one… What with the house and student loans and bills and BABY on it’s way.
Yes, I’m stressed. Why do you ask?
Glad you were under warranty still! Car issues are the worst!
Hey, Big Mama…I need your Sonic expertise! I just put out a call on my blog to all Sonic lovers. You have spoken with such adoration of the Sonic, that I am about to visit one for the first time! Please stop by and tell me what I should try!
http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2010/06/calling-all-sonic-lovers.html
I’m getting a reading list from my daughter’s teacher. If her teacher suggests she read this summer, she’ll be all about it. If it’s me, she’d rather light her own hair on fire.
One of my grandmother’s dear friends was out shopping with her daughter one day and decided that she would just go to the car and wait. While she waited she finished her Coke and various other things. When her daughter got done shopping, she couldn’t find her mom. Then saw her across the parking lot in someone else’s car. And yes, she had drank their Coke for them!!
HAHAHA! I can’t say I’ve ever sat in the wrong car, though my husband once, before we were married, put a mushy card through the sunroof of the wrong car. THAT was a great one.
So glad your car was under warranty. Nothing makes me sicker than spending money on auto repairs or cutting down dead trees. I might as well drive down the road and throw money out the window.
I know y’all must be roasting in Texas because summer has gotten here a lot faster than normal.
BTW, saw the cutest Wellie boots @ our Target. They are herringbone patterned. Thought of you because I think you were looking for boots.
Sooo funny! We were at a high school football game and it came a down pour. We were all sitting in my friend’s mom’s van waiting it out when this guy jumps in with us, a big hooded jacket on, and says, “Holy #*@$, it’s really coming down out there!” We all just sat there in silence until he pushed his hood back, looked around, said, “Holy #*@$, wrong van!” and jumped back out into the rain. Well rounded vocabulary, that guy had. We laughed and laughed. We never did figure out who he was, must have been supporting the opposing team.
Your getting in that wrong car and jumping out faster than if it had been on fire made my day. Classic.
Totally get your dillemma with having to shell out a fortune on car repairs and thus not getting to enjoy the summer properly….glad it worked out for the better….must be some truth to power in prayer?
And I would also like to say I couldn’t agree with more with your “killing time” correlation. Seriously….why, as in our state and I feel nationwide, there are so many budget cuts, hey, I have an idea, instead of just watching a couple of movies and playing games those last couple of days, which means we have to pay for the power those days, the lunch service those days, the bus routes on those days…..cut to the chase and just send them home and save a little educational dollars while you’re at it!! 
Hah! And I thought it was bad when I (on total morning autopilot) used the wrong toothbrush the other morning.
Rock on, Big Mama
Yup, read Mckmammas story about getting in someone elses car and it was funny to. Glad you got out fast :0
We have until June 17th. I hope I make it that long…the summer chedule is looming ahead like a beautiful beacon!
The other day I was at a Ford truck the same color as mine, although a different model. I couldn’t figure out why my key wouldn’t work until the kindly older gentleman who actually owned that car suggested that perhaps I had the wrong vehicle. Praise God he was nice…with the PMS I may have just lost it right there if I’d been trying to unlock a mean person’s car!
You never fail to make me laugh out loud. And keep up the good fight with the reading – my 23 year old school-teacher daughter has thanked me for forcing her into those summer reading programs cause she has FiNALLY figured out that I WAS RIGHT when I told her life would be so much easier if she could read well.
Godloveyoublessyourheart…I’ve “tried” to get into the wrong car about a 57 times in my life. I’m in marketing and drive from doctor’s ofc to doctor’s ofc everday and it’s not uncommon that I forget where I’ve parked. It doesn’t help that I have a pretty common car type…anyhooooo… I constantly wonder “is this the beginning of Alzheimer’s? Then I think…well…if it is, I won’t remember it anyway and I’ll be my kid’s problem to worry about – Lord knows I’ve worried about them enough in their lives, it’s only fair, don’t you think? So I just carry on
I was feeling a little down today to match the rainy day here, but cheered up considerably while reading your blog. I have never met you but love you anyway.
Bublle Gum day?! Please tell me it doesn’t involve children and actual bubble gum. If I were a teacher at your daughter’s school, I’d take a sick day.
The smell, the sight, the sound. Ugh.
Wow, it’s been so long since I read your blog outside of the Google Reader window that I didn’t know you’d changed your template! Nice doin’s!
I feel for your ‘wrong car’ scenario. Once I kept jamming my key (you know, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and keys were required) into a mini-van that was so much like mine it even had similar kid’s toys in the back and the Sonic Route 44 cup in the console. After it didn’t work the ‘nth’ time, I looked at the license tag and sure enough, it was NOT MINE! I was sure that the mall cameras were going to capture me and I’d be hunted down like a dog in the street for attempted theft. SO embarrassing!
I can hardly type because I’m crying from laughing so hard at your blog and comments section. I just love the mom who drank someone’s Coke while waiting for her daughter IN THE WRONG CAR! But, I too, have tried to enter the wrong car at the grocery store. I do have an excuse though: I was 17 and went through the checkout line manned by my out of town boyfriend’s brother, who informed me that my boyfriend was getting married. Needless to say I was in a state of shock and went to the first black car in the lot, and my key would not fit the door no matter how hard I tried. Gosh, that sounds like such a downer, all the other stories made me laugh out loud (quietly tho, the family’s sleeping), with tears streaming down my face.
Do we all live versions of the same life – my car is in the shop, the required reading list saves me from being the heavy this summer, and we didn’t go back to school after awards day, because why? You’ve already received your report card! I also need the ‘Procrastination is my place of Comfort’ on a tee, size XL.
For anyone reading through the comments, I saw on Twitter that Big Mama lost power last night so thus the reason there is no new post up. Hope y’all get power back soon.
I could focus on nothing else in your story after you mentioned the Craig M. character. That guy was so bizarre and made me feel like running away!
But I did read on and can totally relate to it all 
Thanks!
HILARIOUS! You are too funny. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. Thank you, thank you.
I went to the grocery store with my mom late one night and got out and ran inside while she waited in the car. Well, I walked out and walked to her car which was sitting right in front of the store where I KNEW she’d be. I reached to the door handle and leaned down at the same time and saw this purse. And I thought, “Where did she get that cute purse?!” because I had never seen it before. Then I looked up at her and realized that my mom doesn’t have a beard. I litereally did a double take. Look. Stand up in shock. Look. Again. Back up… frantically look around the parking lot while silently pleading with my mom to HURRY and drive around and get me…
I got in the RIGHT car and she was laughing SO HARD she couldn’t drive. She had watched the WHOLE THING and only LAUGHED. That’s hateful. HATEFUL.
I was so distraught and nervous from it that I cried and made her pull over so I could throw up at least twice on the way home.
And this would all be a fine story if I had been 12. But I was more like… 21. And it was still traumatic. I now study the car from a distance before I walk toward it and attempt to get in it.
I was just thinking, that nachos at the pool are waaay less than $15, so P should be cool with that. Right?
They are less than $15, aren’t they?
That story is priceless. And yet, all I can think is SOMEONE LEFT THEIR CAR UNLOCKED AT A SCHOOL????? What a brave soul! Either that or I need to pack my bags and move to SA since they apparently don’t have the crime rate that we do here. (Who am I kidding? PA probably rivals New York City on the crime rate!)