Y’all know that I love nothing more than to compile a list of various items that are of gripping importance for you to ponder over the weekend.
1. I need to make an edit to my story about Nena and the can of OFF. Gulley told Nena I had written about her again ON THE COMPUTER and told the story of mistaking OFF for Pam. Nena reprimanded Gulley and let her know she had forgotten a critical element of the story that must be told to preserve her good name.
After she realized the error of her OFF ways and didn’t want to call and fess up, Granddaddy implored her to at least call Poison Control and tell them the situation. So Nena called up the folks at Poison Control and when the young man answered the phone she told him, “Lord help me, but I think I just poisoned my entire Sunday School class.”
Her confession was met with howls of laughter until the young man could calm down and ask her what happened. She told him the story and he said the worst thing that could happen is some of them may get a stomachache, at which point she made the decision to “let them go to the ER, that’s what it’s for.”
Also, it seems that some of the deceased’s family was in town from Louisiana, ate some of the muffins and declared them “JUST DELICIOUS!”, which just goes to prove that Cajuns really do eat anything.
2. I thought I had officially announced I had resigned from my job in my post last week, but when I read it again I realized I didn’t necessarily make it official. So, for those of y’all who have asked, I did resign from my job a week ago this past Monday. My official last day is Tuesday, May 1st, at which point they will come and take my company car away, leaving me without vehicular transportation.
So, here’s a big shout out to any execs over at Volvo, Pontiac, or Toyota! How about hooking Big Mama up with a car? I realize I have slightly less power over the American buying public than say, Oprah, but I still promise to influence the 8 people who read this blog to buy your fine automobile. I would say that Gulley and I would be willing to take a cross country road trip a la Gayle and Oprah, but we’d have to take the kids and let’s be honest, we wouldn’t make it to the Texas state line.
3. P’s mama emailed me today regarding my post on funeral practices to let me know that a friend of hers actually attended a memorial service held in someone’s backyard complete with margaritas and mariachis. Talk about going out in style.
P informed me he’d like to have that kind of service when he goes, and then I could just take him down to the ranch. I’m not completely sure how that would be so different from how he spends a lot of his time already.
Oh, I’m kidding. He doesn’t even like mariachi music.
4. It was a gorgeous day here yesterday and I took the dogs on a long walk while I listened to my iPod. I figure I better get in shape for all the walking I’m going to be doing without a car (Seriously, Honda, GMC, Chrysler, Cadillac, Nissan? Anyone want to donate a vehicle?) and while I was walking I noticed something and I know I’m not alone.
Please tell me I’m not alone.
When I have my iPod on and the music turned up loud, I can’t help but sing along to whatever is on. Loudly. And for the people on the street who don’t have the benefit of hearing Kelly Clarkson’s rendition of “Since You’ve Been Gone” drowning out my version, it just has to be painful. I think a dog may have howled at me, but what does he know?
Those cocker spaniels are a judgemental breed.
It will probably just get worse as the summer goes on and I don’t have a car to drive around in so that I can sing my rendition of Beyonce or Chris Tomlin in the privacy of my own vehicle. (Mercedes? BMW? Kia? Saturn? You can’t buy this kind of publicity. At least 20 people will read about your generosity and fine automotive products)
5. And last but not least, is this video that I will just entitle “A Flair for the Dramatic” or “What She Wishes She Could Do at her Dance Recital”
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