Some of y’all have asked how my adjustment to being a stay at home mama is going and let me say that I haven’t regretted my decision for one minute. It still feels weird to wake up in the morning and realize my day isn’t filled with having to check voicemail and meet sales quotas, but I love it.
I always referred to my job as “the bank” for fear of being found in a random google search and not wanting to get fired for writing about my job on the internet, but now that I don’t have to worry about any of that, I’ll let y’all know that I was actually a pharmaceutical sales representative for a pharmaceutical company.
Anyway, I thought y’all might enjoy a comparison of how I spent my day as a pharmaceutical rep versus a day spent as a stay at home mom.
Drug Rep 6:30 a.m. – Wake up to the sounds of a belligerent 3 year old yelling, “MAMA, come get me! It’s MORNING!”
SAHM 6:30 a.m. – Wake up to the sounds of a belligerent 3 year old yelling, “MAMA, come get me! It’s MORNING!”
Drug Rep 7:00 a.m. – Stumble into the kitchen, make Caroline’s lunch and try to come up with something she’ll actually eat for breakfast while she begs to eat candy. Listen to her throw a fit after I say that York Peppermint Patties aren’t really a breakfast food.
SAHM 7:00 a.m. – Stumble into the kitchen and offer several breakfast options, all of which are turned down because they aren’t York Peppermint Patties.
Drug Rep 8:30 a.m. – Load myself up like a pack mule headed for a 10 day camping trip in the bottom of the Grand Canyon. On one shoulder I have Caroline’s school bag, my purse, my work bag, and my laptop bag. In the other hand, I have her lunch box and my car keys. Follow her out to the car while she stops to examine every crack in the sidewalk, look at every bug, and give the dogs a hug goodbye. Finally get to the car right before my arm is about to fall off from the sheer volume and weight of items that I’m toting.
SAHM 8:30 a.m. – Stay in our pajamas for a little while longer because we can. Watch Charlie and Lola and continue to push my breakfast eating agenda. She is so over breakfast. Breakfast is for the weak.
Drug Rep 9:00-12:00 p.m. – Spend morning trying to convince doctors, who already know everything, why they should use my drug instead of my competitor’s drug, and they pretend to listen while I know they are completely ignoring everything I’m saying.
SAHM 9:00-12:00 p.m. – Spend morning trying to convince 3 year old, who already knows everything, why she shouldn’t color on the walls, run with sharp objects, or spill her cereal all over the kitchen floor, and she pretends to listen while I know she’s ignoring everything I’m saying.
Drug Rep 12:00-1:00 p.m. – Have lunch delivered to doctor’s office so that I can have the pleasure of treating office staff and physicians to a free lunch while they complain that they’ve already had Jason’s Deli this week and ask why I didn’t bring more Diet Dr. Pepper.
SAHM 12:00-1:00 p.m. – Make peanut butter and jelly sandwich, deliver it to 3 year old so that I can have the pleasure of making her a delicious lunch while she complains that she’s already had peanut butter and jelly this week and ask why I didn’t give her pink lemonade.
Drug Rep 1:00-2:00 p.m. – Take nap.
I’m joking. It’s a joke.
Everyone knows drug reps don’t take naps from 1-2:00 because they finish their day by 3:00 and go home and take a nap then.
SAHM 1:00-2:00 p.m. – Take nap and try to get Caroline to do the same.
Or at the very least, to not wake me up.
Drug Rep 2:00-4:30 p.m. – Go see more doctors and bring them free samples of drugs while most of them act put out that they must acknowledge my presence. Some of them enjoy asking me difficult questions that I don’t know how to answer, such as the particle size of the ldl and apo-B lipoproteins.
Umm yeah, I majored in Speech Communications.
SAHM 2:00-4:30 p.m. – Go to the grocery store and buy food for Caroline while she often acts put out that she must acknowledge my presence. She enjoys asking me difficult questions that I don’t know how to answer, such as how do watermelons turn green on the outside.
Umm yeah, I majored in Speech Communications.
Drug Rep 5:00-bedtime – The day is over with the exception of an occasional evening where I get to go out on the company’s dime to some of the nicest restaurants in town and eat good food and drink fine wine while listening to some of the most boring presentations known to man.
SAHM 5:00-bedtime – I still have miles to go before I sleep. Dinnertime, bathtime and bedtime routines. There are chicken nuggets to be eaten, hair to be washed, and stories to be read. I wouldn’t trade it for the best meal in town at the nicest restaurant, even without the boring presentation.
Although the wine would be nice.
Drug Rep middle of the night – Wake up completely stressed out about how I’m going to grow market share when the only way I’ll be able to convince some of these doctors to write my drug is if they undergo a complete lobotomy.
SAHM middle of the night – Wake up completely stressed out about how I’m going to fill all the hours in the next day with meaningful activities that don’t include watching Backyardigans over and over again.
As y’all can see, in some ways my days aren’t that different. The commonality between being a drug rep and being a mama is before I actually started doing either one, I read a ton of books. I studied, I learned all I could, I memorized material that could help me in any situation and allow me to answer any question.
But the thing is, only the reality of doing something every day prepares you for what it’s really like. No book can tell you how to make a doctor prescribe your drug and no book can tell you how to get a toddler to eat breakfast. It’s all a game of skill and chance. Some days I get it right and some days I don’t. Some days I think I’ve got it all figured out and some days I’m sure I must be the most incompetent person to ever do this job.
For me, I’m just thankful that if I’m going to spend my day with someone ignoring half of what I say and acting like they know better than me, it’s with my daughter. Because for all those moments she is so over me, are the moments we spend digging for worms, lying on the floor coloring pictures, and playing Go Fish.
Moments I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Plus, most of my doctors were terrible at Go Fish.