About a week ago, Gulley informed me she had purchased the new special issue of TV Guide featuring the scoop on all the new fall shows. Her exact words the next day were “I was up until midnight trying to power through the fall schedule”.
And I laughed.
But that was before she loaned me her copy of TV Guide and I, too, had to power through it.
This happens every fall. After the long television drought of summer, the promise of a brighter tomorrow in the form of quality viewing finally arrives. It’s such a hopeful time filled with much promise and anticipation.
Of course, for every “Friday Night Lights” there is a “Vanished”.
That’s exactly my point.
So, after spending way too much time perusing the T.V. guide, while perhaps even using a highlighter, I believe I have come up with the shows I will watch or, at the very least, give a whirl.
Monday night is always a banner night. 4 words.
“Dancing with the Stars”. This year, they are using the term “star” loosely.
Although there will never be another Emmitt, this season features Wayne Newton, Marie Osmond and Jane Seymour. We’re bound to either see some good dancing or watch someone break a hip on national television. I am fired up.
Yes, I realize it came on yesterday, but I haven’t watched it yet. It’s waiting for me on the DVR because I’ve only had time to watch…
My enjoyment of “The Bachelor” has increased 100 fold since I’ve come to the realization that none of these couples will ever last. I just sit back and watch the drama unfold. Watching “The Bachelor” is the equivalent of eating 100 Kit Kats at one sitting, you know it’s too much, but it’s so good you can’t help yourself.
This season’s bachelor is from Austin, Texas. He owns a bar called The Chuggin’ Monkey. It’s obviously upscale.
On Monday night, one woman even showed off her webbed toes in an effort to make a good first impression.
That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Well, except for this. Ladies, if any of y’all are single, do NOT show off your webbed toes on a first date. Webbed toes should be saved for at least the 11th date.
Or perhaps even marriage.
Tuesday nights have nothing to offer in my opinion. Which is a relief. It will give me time to read a book or something.
Although, let’s be honest, I’ll probably need this time to catch up on all the hour long dramas I am attempting to fit into my viewing schedule.
Wednesday nights present a huge dilemma for me. There are way too many shows I’d like to check out, but alas, I can only record two things on my DVR at one time. And that’s only if P isn’t home.
Because if he’s home, there is no way he’s going to sit around and not watch T.V. so that I can record “America’s Next Top Model”, “Private Practice”, and “Bionic Woman”, otherwise known as the Estrogen Fest.
Not to mention, he may want to record something like “Babe Winkelman’s Guide to the Outdoors”.
I wish I were kidding.
So, if I had to pick (It’s like Sophie’s Choice, how do I make this decision? Here have an arm. No, have a leg.) I’ll choose “Private Practice”. And truth be told, I can catch up with all the future top models on some kind of VH-1 marathon at some point.
Here’s a little secret. I don’t believe any of them have really gone on to be America’s Next Top Model, although one of them married the guy who played Peter Brady.
Not exactly a threat to Gisele Bundchen’s career.
I will be sad to let go of “Bionic Woman” because I have a glimmer of hope that it could fill the void in my heart that’s been there since “Alias” went off the air. No one will ever rock some hot pink hair like Sydney Bristow, but I feel like television is ready for another female that can kick some boo-tay.
This brings us to Thursday night.
Oh, Thursday nights. You have always been my night of must-see T.V. and you don’t disappoint. Once again, the DVR will be going at full steam. I’ll record “Ugly Betty” and “Grey’s Anatomy” to watch at a later time, while P and I will watch “My Name is Earl” and “The Office”.
Best of all, the first four episodes of “The Office” will each be an hour long.
God is good, my friends.
Last, but certainly not least, is “Friday Night Lights”. I think my love, bordering on obsession, for “Friday Night Lights” has been well-documented at this point. If I had to pick only one show to watch (and I think this post proves how hard that would be) I would choose “Friday Night Lights”.
Like I tell P every week, it’s the best show on television.
And that’s saying something because you have to work hard to be better than a cheesy reality show starring a bar owner who will date girls named Sheena and McCarten. ($50.00 says they made those names up to be memorable, which is a far better strategy than demonstrating your ability to be a human pretzel while on national television)
So, tell me I’m not the only one who seriously thought about charting out the fall T.V. schedule. What shows do y’all have to watch? Any new shows you’ll be giving a try?
And if you don’t watch T.V. and only read books, what’s that like?
I used to read, but then I had a child and now I have the attention span of a gnat, but not as many brain cells.
T.V. is my friend.