Month: December 2007

  • Brevity is not my gift this New Year’s Eve

    So, it’s New Year’s Eve.

    We’ve had an incredibly exciting day here. Really, I hesitate to share because I don’t want to create envy and bitterness over the fabulousness that is my life.

    P has fever and hasn’t felt well all day. I spent the day setting up a new bed in Caroline’s room and cleaning out her closet. Caroline left to go out to eat Italian food with Mimi and Bops and then spend the night with them.

    I’m so proud that our four year old is having a more exciting New Year’s Eve than her parents.

    Of course I did go to Central Market and pick up some chicken noodle soup for P, so it’s not like my day has been completely without fun and adventure.

    And now, we are sitting side by side on the couch in our flannel pjs watching the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. Dick Clark can only hope his New Year’s is this rockin’.

    But, in all honesty, I couldn’t care less. I have had my share of festive New Year’s celebrations. Including one unfortunate year that involved me wearing red jeans, a sequined shirt and being overserved to the point of getting lost on my way back from the restroom at Chuy’s Mexican Restaurant.

    I don’t know what’s saddest about that event, but I’m pretty sure it’s the red jeans. Although the sequined shirt is a close runner up.

    There was also the New Year’s that P and I broke up because he wouldn’t come home from the ranch to celebrate a “fake holiday”. Gulley and I ended up spending that New Year’s together. We ate way too much at Carrabba’s and I think I had too much wine, which is my only excuse for how many times I belted out Faith Hill’s “It Matters To Me” because I felt like it best summed up my feelings about P’s New Year’s Eve apathy.

    I bet Gulley doesn’t remember that year as her favorite New Year’s celebration.

    But P shot a nice 10 pointer on New Year’s Day, which only served to confirm in his mind that he made the right choice.

    And these days I tend to agree with him that big New Year’s celebrations are highly overrated. In fact, we received an invitation to an unbelievably fancy New Year’s Eve party this year. The invitation was hand-delivered. In a box. With a beaded chandelier inside the box. The attire was Couture/Black tie.

    We turned it down. Because these days we prefer non-couture flannel. And watching bowl games. While taking lots of Sudafed.

    But, because it is the end of another year, I have spent some time over the last few days thinking about 2007. I will now share those thoughts here because this is, after all, a record of my life. And while there are so many things I tell y’all on a daily basis, there are many that I don’t.

    2007 has been a year of incredible transition. If someone had sat me down in January of 2007 and told me all the things this year would bring, I think I may have curled up in the fetal position and stayed there for the next twelve months. It’s been a year that has refined my faith in ways I didn’t even know it needed to be refined.

    This year has been a 12 month process of God stripping away everything in which I’ve tried to find security. In January, I was faced with false allegations that made me fear I’d lose my job and just the thought of that possibility sent me into near hysteria (or if I’m being completely honest, full blown hysteria). The allegations were proven false, but then some other things happened along the way that led P and me to make the decision for me to resign in April.

    The pharmaceutical job I’d held for ten years was gone. The income, the company car, the benefits were gone. But, I consoled myself with how well P’s business was doing and how much money we had in various accounts. We were totally fine.

    And then P’s best employee ended up going to jail (it’s a long story), which slowed down the progress they were able to make on various jobs. Shortly thereafter, P’s back went out again and we knew he was going to need surgery.

    Our new insurance didn’t want to pay on some of the claims which left us with medical bills higher than we expected, the brakes went out on P’s truck, we had to get some major dental work done, and finally, someone wanted to break out my car window right before Christmas.

    We began to joke that we might as well just start flushing hundred dollar bills down the toilet because it was a more efficient way to drain our bank account.

    The Bible study my group did in the fall was “A Woman’s Heart” by Beth Moore. In Week 2 of that study, Beth wrote, “Take the risk of inviting Him to do whatever He must to fan your flame again.” I knew as soon as I read it that God was calling me to take that risk. And I didn’t want to because I was scared.

    But I did it. And y’all need to know that I did it with much fear and trembling. I had no idea what was going to happen but I knew that I had lost some of my passion for Him and I wanted it back. Ultimately, my need was stronger than my fear. Which means I had ALOT of need.

    And that’s when the bottom fell out. But, honestly, it was almost comically apparent what God was trying to show me about myself. I have been so guilty in finding my security in the things this world offers. It’s not even that I love money so much or have to have it, I just like the security it offers. I felt like as long as our bank account had a certain balance then everything would be okay.

    The irony is that “A Woman’s Heart” follows the Israelites as Moses leads them out of Egypt and to the Promised Land. I spent a lot of time being like the Israelites grumbling to myself, “I don’t know why God led me away from my job and all that security if He’s just going to hang us out to dry like this.”

    But then God reminded me how He provided manna for the children of Israel every morning. He gave them what they needed for that day. Their security had to be in Him and in His provision. FOR THAT DAY. And that’s what He’s promised me, He will give us what we need for that day.

    His provision doesn’t hinge on what the bank says we have or what the stock market does. He is over all those things and He is faithful and just to provide.

    I’ve spent this year being refined in a way that I have never before been refined, but I can also say I have drawn closer to Him than I ever have before at any time in my life. When all the fears and worries begin to rise up, I’ve learned to run to Him instead of adding up bills in my head and trying to come up with my own solution.

    At one point this month, after another setback had come in, I sat at the desk and started to cry. I opened my Bible and this is the passage I found:

    “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16

    And as I’ve prayed for 2008 and all that this new year holds, the verse that keeps coming back to me is:

    “You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock – the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed. You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The Lord your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.” Deuteronomy 28: 3-8

    2007 has been a year of God leading me into a new land. A year of me questioning what I believe and how much I believe it. A year of me learning that it’s okay to ask Him to help me overcome my unbelief. A year of me literally putting my money where my mouth is or more accurately where my heart is. A year of learning to trust in Him in ways that I have never trusted before. It has been a hard year and there are still struggles ahead, but I know that He that began a good work in me will carry it on to completion.

    And as I completed my Bible study of Moses and the tabernacle, I learned something that I had never realized before. It’s something that really resonated with me. From the time Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, through all the grumbling in the desert, through all the hardships, to the completion of the tabernacle, one year had passed. ONE YEAR. How is that even possible that all that happened in one year? As Beth says, “It had been the worst year of his life and the best year of his life.”

    I feel you, Moses. I think that’s how I’ll remember 2007. The best and the worst. But I already know that, like Moses, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    I’m sorry this is so long. I knew it would be, but my heart was full of so much to say and I had to get it all out. If you’ve read this far, then God bless you for your patience.

    I wish you all a Happy 2008 filled with all good things! My life is richer because y’all show up here every day.

  • My advice is don’t think about the calories

    I realize it’s a little late to post the Eggnog Recipe. At this point, I’m sure most of us are nogged out.

    Not to mention coming to the sober realization that the holidays are over and thus, time to pay the cream-cheese-and-four-sticks-of-butter-in-every-recipe piper.

    However, several of y’all asked for it and I’m going to go ahead and post it because there may be some of y’all out there who will throw caution to the wind and have one last fat-filled fling before the New Year’s Resolutions kick in.

    And, if after you make it, you can’t stop drinking it, then you can do what P usually does and dump the rest of it down the drain.

    Eggnog is his kryptonite.

    Anyway, it’s also good time to let you know that I’ve created a separate page entirely devoted to all the recipes I have ever posted. That way if you wake up in the night and can’t sleep for wondering how on earth I make my crawfish etouffee, then there’s a quick and easy way to get that information.

    Just click on the link under the About Me section that says, appropriately enough, “Recipes”.

    I am so clever.

    Homemade Eggnog

    1 dozen eggs
    1 quart cream
    1 1/2 cups sugar
    1 3/4 cups milk
    1/4 to 3/4 cup bourbon (depending on how festive you feel)

    Separate egg white from egg yolks. Mix yolks with sugar. Beat until creamy. Add bourbon and cover with plastic wrap for one hour.

    Add milk. Whip cream and add in to mixture. Whip egg whites and fold in. Refrigerate and serve with nutmeg if desired.

  • All is well

    So many of y’all have emailed and asked me about Olivia that I wanted to post one last update and a huge thank you for all your prayers and concerns.

    If all goes well, Olivia should be able to go home on Tuesday or Wednesday. Her CT scans and hearing tests have all come back with very good results and the antibiotics have successfully fought the bacterial infection.

    The biggest concern at this point is getting her strength back. She lost some muscle tone due to the illness, so they need to work on getting her strength back.

    But, she’s already proved she’s a fighter. Which, if y’all knew how stubborn her daddy is, wouldn’t surprise any of y’all one bit.

    Thanks again for all the prayers and know that they were answered in a mighty way.

  • I’d rather not remember this Alamo Bowl

    This is where I could talk about my frustration in watching the Aggies drive 98 yards down the field, only to be stopped on 4th and 1 while Jovorskie Lane stood on the sidelines and watched us run the option.

    But, instead, I will focus on pleasant, happy thoughts like bunnies, rainbows, and boxes full of puppies.

    And, most pleasing of all, the fact that every single one of my Christmas decorations are packed up and back in the attic.

    Oh, and that the Fran era is officially over.

    And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

  • Santa baby

    There will be no Fashion Friday today because…well, there just won’t be. I’m way too busy staring at my Christmas tree and wondering if there might be a way to remove the ornaments and lights by osmosis.

    However, here’s a quick fashion tip. If you eat an entire plate of toffee by yourself, then your most comfortable fashion option will be flannel pajama pants. Don’t depress yourself with futile attempts to button your jeans.

    I’ve spent much of the last two days recovering on the couch. I didn’t even get out of my pajamas until after noon and there wasn’t one sale that could have coaxed me out of the house. It’s like Santa brought me an alternate personality for Christmas.

    It was just so nice to watch Caroline play with all her new toys, even though I spent a large chunk of time wondering why I thought it was such a great idea for Santa to bring the Nintendo Puppy that responds to noise by howling, barking and wagging its tail. Y’all know what makes a lot of noise?

    A four year old.

    Y’all know what’s even louder?

    A Nintendo Puppy that responds to noise by howling, barking and wagging its tail.

    Look what else Santa brought!

    It’s one of Satan’s minions disguised to look like a baby doll.

    And lest you think I’m joking, let me tell you that it actually threw up on me yesterday. It was like a scene straight from “The Exorcist”.

    It’s a Baby Born doll and it came in a box with a caption saying, “Performs SIX bodily functions without batteries”. P saw it and said he’s not sure he performs six bodily functions.

    As much as I hated for Santa to bring anything that performs any number of bodily functions, my hands were tied. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, all Caroline talked about was Butterscotch Pony. She loved Butterscotch Pony. Life WOULD NOT be complete without Butterscotch Pony.

    The problem is Butterscotch Pony is a big, stuffed waste of money. It’s essentially an enormous stuffed animal you sit on and pretend to feed a carrot while it makes whinnying noises, which are horse talk for “You’re a huge sucker that paid $250 for a stuffed animal.”

    I worked hard to direct her attention to something else that she could love for three days after Christmas and then completely forget about. Preferably something less expensive that would, more importantly, take up less space in the playroom. Then one day, a commercial for Baby Born caught her eye. The big selling point was that Baby Born comes with her own potty.

    Which, ironically, is the same reason I fell in love with P.

    I highly encouraged her excitement over Baby Born. I was excited everytime I heard her singing the little catchy jingle about Baby Born which, by the way, made no reference about the vomit. Although in all fairness, it’s hard to find words that rhyme with vomit.

    I knew she came with her own potty, I knew she ate food, I knew that she drank from a bottle. I knew all of that. I was just so blinded by my desire to not have Butterscotch Pony become a part of our family that I just ignored all the warning signs.

    On Christmas Eve, I got everything out to start setting up Santa’s display of mass consumerism. Most of the toys merely involved unwinding 58 yards of heavy plastic holding in Cinderella and her magical horse.

    Of course the Polly Pockets Race to the Mall almost caused me to check myself into some sort of institution. I am certain it was some sort of diabolical revenge plotted by China to get back at us for all the toy recalls. The whole thing consisted of hot pink plastic roadways and vague directions about inserting part 7 into part 5, although none of that is really relevant if the parts aren’t numbered to begin with.

    Fortunately, P was in deep meditation and prayer for me throughout the Polly Pockets trauma.

    Once I got Polly Pockets all set up and ready to race to the mall, I opened up Baby Born and started reading the instructions. Here is just a sampling: “Remove Baby Born’s diaper and press her onto the potty. NOTE: Food will only leave Baby Born when her legs are pressed onto the potty, as this action opens the food valve. WARNING: Never try to push a real baby onto the potty.”

    Thanks for that brilliant advice.

    What the manufacturers of Baby Born neglect to share is what to do if Baby Born eats her little food mixture and then fails to poop in the potty. I mean, I am the last to judge because it took months of potty training Caroline before she realized it was okay to poop in the potty.

    The problem is Baby Born isn’t pooping AT ALL. ANYWHERE. She’s bound to be constipated and her little box full of diapers, pacifiers and bottles failed to supply any type of suppository or other poop aids, like perhaps a jar of strained prunes. Yet, because Caroline is a compulsive nurturer, we continue to shovel food into Baby Born’s mouth at regular intervals.

    Apparently last night, Baby Born had enough. I turned her upside down as I performed the role of baby proctologist and she proceeded to throw up all over me.

    My ultimate concern is that, in about a month, Baby Born is going to poop a big piece of mold.

    Which makes me wish Santa had just been smart enough to bring that stupid Butterscotch Pony.

    But then I see how happy she is with her little bundle of mold and it makes the puke on my jeans almost worth it.

    Almost.

  • Elf, or why Santa should have given us etiquette lessons

    We have spent this Christmas season engaged in some highly intellectual, cultural pursuits.


    Elf from Big Mama on Vimeo.

    I can’t really explain why she’s dressed like a pink unabomber.

    I blame the sugar. And Santa Claus.

    And Will Ferrell.