Month: August 2008

  • I blame the lint and the past decade of use

    Good news!

    The friendly Sears repairman showed up at exactly 8:10 a.m. yesterday morning. Clearly, I am living right.

    Bad news!

    The dryer is dead. There was talk of a resurrection but, considering the majority of parts needed are no longer in existence for our particular model, as far as resurrections go it would have ranked up there with raising Lazarus from the dead.

    Except it wouldn’t have been free, but rather $350.00 with parts and labor.

    On the bright side, Sears applies the repairman’s diagnostic fee towards the purchase of a new dryer so I headed to our brand new Sears Outlet store to purchase a dryer.

    I walked in, looked around and decided on some sort of Kenmore with limited bells and whistles. It was the dryer of choice for two reasons.

    1. It was big on the inside.

    2. It didn’t have a complicated control panel. I get stressed out with too many drying options. Life is hard enough without adding in PERMANENT PRESS/COTTON vs. LOW HEAT/DRY SENSOR.

    Several of you were concerned about my washing machine situation, so I feel the need to let you know that we purchased a brand new front loader washing machine about a year ago.

    I put a lot more thought into the washing machine purchase because a good washing machine is crucial whereas a dryer is just something I use to dry socks, sheets, pajamas and towels. Everything else gets hung to dry.

    Also, thank you for all the helpful suggestions. According to the comments, I should never buy a Maytag and only buy a Maytag. Whirlpools are terrible, but some of them last for twenty years. GE is horrific, but some people swear by them. Ugly washers and dryers last longer than pretty washers and dryers.

    The only real consensus was that those of you with LG washers and dryers adore them and, apparently, they sing a little song and make the universe a happier place. But here’s the thing, for me personally, spending money to buy an appliance is like spending money to rent a shovel or a paddleboat.

    If I’m going to shell out big money, it’s going to be for something meaningful, like shoes or a great pair of jeans. Things that can truly change your life.

    Anyway, while I was perusing the store for a dryer, I spent a lot of time opening and closing the doors of various dryers as if that would give me some insight into their drying capabilities. It seemed to give the illusion of KNOWLEDGEABLE CONSUMER.

    Everything was going really well until I shut my middle finger in one of the dryers.

    That was when I just picked one (not the one I slammed my finger in because clearly that dryer was a bad seed), made the purchase, scheduled delivery and walked out of the store with my dignity, if not my middle fingernail, in tact.

    Since I was right next door to Target, I decided it might soothe the pain of my ailing finger. But as I walked through the women’s clothing I realized I must be delirious from the pain because I thought I saw floral print leggings on display.

    And then I came to the horrifying realization that Target is, in fact, offering floral print leggings for purchase.

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    I haven’t thought about floral print leggings since the days I thought it would be awesome if everything I owned was by Adrienne Vittadini.

    In other words, EIGHTEEN YEARS.

    I smell a comeback.

    In which case I won’t need that dryer because everyone knows you have to hang those bright, floral knits to dry.

    Fashion Friday will return next week. I accidentally deleted my entire fashion email file, so if you’ve submitted a question it is floating around somewhere in internet space. However, next week I’ll discuss the top trends for fall.

    Only time will tell if floral leggings make the cut, but I’ll go ahead and say DOUBTFUL.

  • This is what happens when I’m behind on my sleep

    I’m going to be completely honest, Kindergarten is crushing my buzz.

    All summer long Caroline and I would lay in bed until 8 a.m. which is an hour I only dreamed of for the first four years of her life. I had finally trained her in the art of a leisurely morning only to see it destroyed by the educational system.

    So, my point is that I am tired. P has been waking us up awfully early but I think I’ve already figured out that we can sleep at least fifteen minutes later every morning. And those extra fifteen minutes will add up to an extra hour and fifteen minutes at the end of each week.

    I just did that math in my head.

    Who says you’ll never amount to anything if it took you two times to pass Algebra II?

    Anyway, I am totally going with a list format because I have several points I would like to make and no energy to voice them in a narrative form.

    1. Back-combing is just a fancy way of saying TEASING. If you were alive in the 80’s and older than six, then you’ve teased your hair.

    If you’re from Texas there is a good chance that you received a sterling silver teasing comb at birth.

    The one I bought is a fine-tooth comb that comes complete with a pick on the other end. It’s exactly like the comb I used in 1987-1989 to separate each curl of my spiral perm after I doused it in Aussie Sprunch Spray.

    2. Hot rollers are intended for use on dry hair only. You will immediately regret any attempt to use them on wet hair. To get an idea, imagine your hair after eighteen days in a tropical rain forest.

    Now multiply that by 150.

    It’s also important to note that some people will mock you for toting around hot rollers in 2008, but those people are called people with flat hair.

    3. I volunteered in the cafeteria at Caroline’s school today and let me assure you that nothing will make you lose your appetite like watching some kids use their straw to slurp up leftover juice from their pinto beans.

    Disgusting doesn’t begin to cover it.

    But it served as a great diet tool for the rest of the day.

    4. One kid actually brought sushi in her lunchbox. Girlfriend sat there and rolled her own sushi in some seaweed wraps.

    I just pray Caroline wants to buy her lunch for the rest of the year. I can’t take the pressure

    5. Our dryer is broken. I’m supposed to sit at home between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. for the Sears repairman to grace me with an appearance.

    It would be a great time to catch up on laundry, except for the fact that my dryer is broken.

    Truth be told, the dryer is eleven years old. I don’t have high hopes for a comeback. Do y’all have any dryer recommendations? Is one dryer really better than another? Should I just hang a clothesline across the backyard and go old school? (the neighbors would be so pleased)

    Any dryer wisdom would be appreciated.

    Y’all have a great day and I’ll try to be back with a coherent thought tomorrow.

  • Lessons from the weekend

    So, I’ve been so wrapped up in the start of Kindergarten and crying while looking at Caroline’s baby pictures that I haven’t even talked about what a great weekend I had.

    It started out with a little bit of a glitch when Sophie called to let me know that the extremely helpful Continental Airlines had decided to cancel her flight from Houston to San Antonio.

    Well done, Continental. Way to establish trust and consumer loyalty.

    Sophie was trying to figure out what to do and I just tried to be helpful by continually yelling into the phone, “JUST RENT A CAR AND DRIVE HERE! JUST RENT A CAR! IT WILL ONLY TAKE 2 1/2 HOURS! RENT A CAR! IT’S JUST A TWO HOUR DRIVE!”

    Needless to say, she got off the phone with me and went in search of someone who could provide an actual solution.

    In the meantime, I was able to spend some time visiting with Amanda and we had more fun talking about life. She’s just starting to potty train her little boy and I offered helpful tips along the lines of “POTTY TRAINING IS SO HARD! GIVING A TODDLER CONTROL OF ANYTHING IS A NIGHTMARE!”

    Seriously, I’ll put that pep talk on DVD and make millions.

    Sophie finally arrived in San Antonio around 3:30, which gave us just enough time to go in search of chips and guacamole before heading over to the Alamodome for Living Proof Live.

    Right as it started, Gulley met us there and I got to see all my worlds collide. Hello internet world, meet real life world.

    What ever happened to that sweet girl who was afraid to use the email?

    Travis and the praise team were awesome. I mean, ya’ll, they can flat sing. Every single one of them is so incredibly gifted and I could have listened to them all night.

    Beth spoke about our inheritance from God and if we would only realize that we are all heiresses of God we wouldn’t give ourselves away so cheaply. It was so incredible and God used it to continue to speak to me about how much He values us. In fact, one of Beth’s points was that not only is God our portion, but we are His. He delights in us.

    I love when God uses a theme.

    After it was over, several of us went to Mi Tierra to eat some late night Mexican food. It was just like being back in college except I hadn’t spent the evening drinking cheap, warm beer out of a plastic cup.

    Throughout the weekend I was able to meet so many sweet women that I’ve met ON THE INTERNET over the last couple of years. It was so great to finally be able to hug people who have been such an encouragement and blessing to me. I loved every minute of it and can’t wait until we can do it again.

    And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the most important lessons I received over the weekend.

    On Friday night before the event, I was talking to Beth’s daughter, Melissa, and I asked her exactly how she fixes her hair. We have similar hair but mine is missing something. She told me the trick is hot rollers (which I already use on a regular basis) and then asked me if I back-combed my hair because it looked like what was missing was some back-combing.

    So not only did I get a word from her mama, but Melissa ministered to me with some valuable hair wisdom.

    Although, Melissa has a backcombing advantage because she was not a teenager in the 80’s. I guarantee she has never used a comb to do this to her hair.

    Once you have backcombed your hair to achieve a full, sassy mullet, it’s hard to pick up a fine-tooth comb again.

    But I can’t be held back by the sins of my past.

    I’m ready to try again. I need some lift and I’ll do what must be done to get it.

    In fact, I am so committed that I even purchased a brand new comb yesterday at HEB.

    As long as I don’t start carrying it in my back pocket, I think I’ll be okay.

  • So, this is kindergarten

    Yesterday morning I woke Caroline up.

    That statement alone is something I never thought I’d say.

    Anyway, I woke her up with a kiss on her cheek and whispered, “Wake up, baby. Today is Kindergarten!” She immediately sat straight up and yelled, “IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY!”

    I just wish she’d been more excited.

    I made her some eggs for breakfast even though I knew I was scrambling chicken embryos in vain because she’d never actually eat them. But it made me feel better to make the effort because it seemed like a first day of Kindergarten thing to do.

    After pushing around some eggs on a plate, she ran to get dressed. We pulled her hair back and packed her little school bag. All the while, I managed to hold it together.

    Right before we walked out the door, we conducted a marathon photo session.

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    I tried to shoot some video in the car on the way to school, but she shut me down. Apparently, she needed to “concentrate”.

    As we walked into the school, hand in hand, I felt my eyes start to fill with tears. Just about that time, she dropped my hand and said, “I know where to go”.

    So P and I just followed.

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    Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever been so proud of someone.

    I also don’t know if I’ve ever felt as strongly that my heart was on the outside of my body.

    When we arrived at the classroom, her teacher asked if she’d brought her lunch and Caroline informed her she’d be buying her lunch. The teacher said she could choose between chicken nuggets or a turkey sandwich.

    Caroline said, “Meatloaf”.

    Because isn’t that what every kid wants?

    In the end, she chose the turkey sandwich.

    P and I hugged and kissed her goodbye, then walked out of the school and back to the car. We prayed for her and that’s when the tears began to fall. I knew I was on the verge of a full on ugly cry.

    But look!

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    I went to the baby store and bought a new baby!

    Oh I kid.

    Some of our dear friends lost their grandmother last week and they called me to ask if I could watch their twin girls on Monday morning while they went to the funeral. I had to think about it for a moment because if I kept the girls that would interfere with my original plan of sitting on my bed with a bowl of M&M’s, crying and watching old videos of Caroline.

    I think I made the right choice.

    Although I will say it is dangerous hormonal territory to drop your only child off at Kindergarten and then go spend four hours with some precious, squishy babies.

    It was finally time to pick Caroline up and after navigating the seventh circle of carpool hell, I finally saw my girl. Her smile couldn’t have been bigger. As we drove away, I asked, “How was your day?”

    “IT WAS GREAT! I’M GOING AGAIN TOMORROW!”

    So I think she liked it.

    Apparently she had a very full day playing with new friends whose names she can’t recall, eating a “THE MOST DELICIOUS” turkey sandwich (doubtful) in the cafeteria, and going to “P.E.R.” in the gym which is “BIGGER THAN OUR HOUSE!”

    Right before bed last night, she was telling me more about her day. She said, “I saw my friend Catherine in the cafeteria today!”

    I asked, “Did you say hi?”

    “Yes, I said hi! And then I learned you’re not allowed to yell across the cafeteria.”

    God bless her teacher.