Year: 2010

  • A top eleven list is so odd

    Before I say anything else, I need to state for the record that I managed to pack everything I need to take to Birmingham in a carry-on bag. And I still managed to bring four different pairs of shoes. Which doesn’t seem excessive at all for a four day trip.

    The game changer was my decision to use the White Noise app on my iPhone. And to decide that my hair will be able to achieve enough volume with just my travel-size set of hot rollers. It’s a risky decision, but I have long been known for my ability to live right on the edge.

    And for those who asked, I’m going to Birmingham for the Deeper Still conference. If you’re going to be there, I’d love to meet you. I have no idea where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing, but I’m sure it shouldn’t be too hard to find me amongst the other 12,000 women who will be in attendance.

    Yesterday I spent most of the day helping decorate our church sanctuary for Christmas. So when I left the church around 2:00 p.m., I was in the mood for some Christmas tunes and turned on the radio and, I KID YOU NOT, that Dwight Yoakam song was on. I caught it just in time to hear “He threw a present really hard that almost hit Mom’s new boyfriend Ray”.

    That is a lyrical treasure.

    Anyway, several years ago, (three to be exact) Gulley and I each made a list of our favorite Christmas songs. You can find those lists right here. But things change and new songs come along and I’m leaving for Birmingham and still need to make sure I have everything I need before I get all puffed up with pride over my insane packing abilities that allowed me to fit everything in one small bag and one very large purse.

    (Too late on that last thing, by the way. I am totally puffed up with pride over my packing expertise.)

    My point is I thought it would be fun to make a list of the Christmas songs that are on the top of my listening list this season. The whole thing makes me feel a little bit like Casey Kasem.

    (Was I the last person to know that he was the voice of Shaggy on Scooby Doo?)

    1. Christmas Tonight by Dave Barnes

    I bought this album (downloaded it, whatever) a few weeks ago and have listened to it over and over again. If you haven’t seen the video for this song then your life may not be complete.

    2. In the First Light by Travis Cottrell

    The first time I heard this song I cried. It is absolute perfection.

    3. O Holy Night by Glee Cast

    Whatever your feelings about Glee, they make some good music. I love this version.

    4. River by Sarah McLachlan

    Okay. So kind of a downer song. But I love this entire album so much and there’s not much that makes me happier than a cold day, a warm fire, and listening to this song. It’s a nice kind of melancholy.

    I doubt that makes sense to anyone but me.

    5. Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Taylor

    It’s James Taylor.

    6. I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Harry Connick, Jr.

    There is just so much right about this entire album and, honestly, my favorite song on it changes with my mood. Which means it changes pretty darn frequently. Kind of like a roller coaster.

    7. Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant

    Christmas isn’t Christmas to me without Amy Grant music.

    8. Hallelujah (Light Has Come) by Barlow Girl

    I just heard this for the first time a few days ago and fell in love with it. So beautiful.

    9. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Kelly Willis

    There are so many good versions of this song, but I adore this one by Kelly Willis. It has a Christmas in Texas feel to it.

    10. Merry Christmas from the Family by Robert Earl Keen

    This will be on any list of Christmas favorites that I ever compile. Amen.

    11. Christmas in Hollis by Run-DMC

    I realize this doesn’t really fit with the rest of my choices, but I added it to my workout playlist the other day and it has made me so happy.

    So, what about y’all? What are the Christmas songs you can’t live without right now?

    And, remember, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

  • So on and so forth

    I’m leaving for Birmingham on Thursday morning and so my last few days have been filled with all the random little errands I always run before I go on a trip. I have to stock up on all my travel-size toiletries and make sure I have enough lipgloss and endlessly debate if I can fit four days worth of clothes in a practical carry-on size bag or if I’ll just go for the gold and pack an obnoxiously large suitcase instead. There is no in between. Mainly because I don’t own a reasonable middle-of-the-road piece of luggage.

    And also because I have to pack things like my sound machine and large set of hot rollers.

    So I’m just going to mention a few quick things here as opposed to rambling on and on with about 1,000+ words like I’ve done the last two days.

    1. I’m planning on doing some sort of list with various Christmas gift ideas at some point in the next week or so. In the meantime, Sophie has compiled a list of twenty teen-friendly favorites under $20 and a list of fifteen favorites under $15.

    I have found both lists to be enormously insightful. I’ve also discovered that I have the exact same taste as a sixteen-year-old girl.

    2. Speaking of lists, I’m trying to talk P into doing another list this year for the outdoorsy-types in your life. He hasn’t committed yet, but I haven’t started withholding home-cooked meals and Orange Milanos.

    Here is last year’s list in case you missed it. It is a wealth of information about things I know nothing about.

    3. Behold! The Christmas tree! With its vertically-wrapped lights!

    I took this with my phone. But trust me when I tell you the quality would be no better if I’d taken it with my camera. My camera is hurting.

    4. My dear friend, Travis Cottrell, has written a book called Surprised by Worship. I think I’ve mentioned it before. What I haven’t mentioned is that you can click over to my giveaway and review page for a chance to win a free copy. And, trust me, you want to read this book.

    5. Caroline wore legwarmers to school yesterday. As a preteen of the early 80’s, it felt like a full circle moment for me.

    Please notice the unpainted door frame in the background. It has been that way for the last eight years in spite of the fact that it would take all of five minutes to paint it. Somewhere in there is some insight into my personality.

    6. Don’t forget to check out the NFL Take it to the House program and sweepstakes information.

    7. I ordered my Christmas cards on Monday from The Little Card Company. I’ll tell y’all more about them next week, but LOVE.

    8. I went to the mall yesterday because I had to run in Sephora and also felt like I should make a quick run through a few shoe departments. Did y’all know there are places right in the middle of the mall where people are getting massages and having their eyebrows done? I think we’ve lost some sense of what constitutes an activity that should be done smack dab in the middle of public.

    Or maybe I just have personal boundary issues. It’s possible.

    9. I saw these pajamas at Target yesterday and can’t quit thinking about them. I wanted to buy them for myself but I think we all know that the guilt of buying something for myself did me in and I left Target pajama-less but with a new supply of Children’s Benadryl, some snowflake ornaments and a bulk package of paper towels.

    10. That is all. I just didn’t want to end with 9. It seemed random.

    Kind of like this whole list.

    And now I’m off to see if I can fit four days worth of clothes into a carry-on bag.

    Doubtful.

  • Yes, I’m still talking about my Christmas tree

    So yesterday morning was Monday. And I’ve become a big fan of stating the obvious.

    I knew that eventually the Thanksgiving break would end and it would be time to join the real world again, but that really didn’t make it any better when the alarm went off. It also doesn’t help that our alarm is P’s cell phone and he has it set to some kind of mamba ring tone. He says it’s because he’ll hear it, but I suspect it might be because he knows it drives me insane enough to make me jump out of bed. Or at least to roll over and growl, “TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD, TURN IT OFF.”

    We all managed to get out of bed and start our morning routine. I dropped Caroline off at school with a coyote skull gently packed in her little sequined leopard print messenger bag. Yes. A coyote skull. She found it at the ranch last week and couldn’t wait to bring it in for Show and Tell. Bless her teacher’s heart.

    Once I got home I knew I could no longer avoid the run I’d been trying not to think about all last week when I decided that exercise should not interfere with my enjoyment of the Thanksgiving holiday. I put on my running shoes, cranked up my sweet tunes, and spent the next thirty-five minutes feeling like I was wading through quicksand. My loose hypothesis is that a steady diet of cream of mushroom soup and butter in various casserole forms has a tendency to make a person feel a little sluggish.

    After I plodded my way around the neighborhood, I came back home to hydrate myself and pass out for about forty-five minutes before running my long list of errands. First up? A trip to Michaels to get more Christmas tree lights. Second? I ran in Charming Charlie’s to buy the zebra-print koozie with hot pink feathered trim that Caroline fell in love with when she saw it on Saturday. I don’t know why she really needs a koozie, but I can understand the siren song of the zebra print trimmed in pink.

    Anyway, I finally completed a whole list of errands and I won’t bore you by going into all the details. When I finally got home I decided to go ahead and put the lights on the rest of the tree so that Caroline and I could get to decorating as soon as she got home from school.

    I continued my vertical light strategy around the back of the tree until it was adequately wrapped, then I put one more strand around the entire tree just to ensure maximum light coverage. And then!

    AND THEN!

    I plugged in the lights and marveled at their beauty. And also at the fact that I managed to buy some sort of twinkling lights by accident and half my tree has a significant twinkling effect.

    AND THEN!

    All the lights went out at the same time. Darkness. Total darkness.

    Fortunately P happened to be home and I summoned him to the living room with a delicate, “OH NO! ALL MY LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT! WHAT HAPPENED? OH THE HUMANITY!”

    He looked at me and asked, “How many strands do you have plugged all together and plugged into this one outlet?”

    “Ummm. Eight?”

    (Or twelve.)

    “That’s too many. It overheated and blew a fuse.”

    Technically, I knew when I was connecting strand after strand of lights that this venture was ill-advised thanks to the directions on the box the lights came in. However, I choose to think of those directions as more of a guideline than the gospel truth.

    P fixed my fuse and told me I’d need to go buy an extension cord and a power strip. So I picked up Caroline from school and we headed to Walgreens to buy the necessary supplies. And then I had to come home and try to reconfigure my lighting scheme. The good news is this gave me the opportunity to evenly distribute the twinkly lights so my tree doesn’t look like it’s bipolar.

    Now it just looks like it belongs in a nightclub in Las Vegas. Which is so much better.

    After the lighting was all straightened out, I turned our T.V. to one of the satellite radio channels that plays continuous holiday music and Caroline and I began to hang the rest of the ornaments as we sang along to Jingle Bell Rock. It was all very festive in spite of the fact that it was a crisp 82 degrees outside.

    All of a sudden a song came on that I’d never heard before. I knew immediately it was Dwight Yoakum. And as I listened to the lyrics I realized he was singing that Mama said Santa can’t stay and Santa looked a lot like Daddy as he drove away.

    Wow.

    Way to bring us all down at Christmastime, Dwight.

    I told P about it and said it was the second most depressing Christmas song I’ve ever heard. The first being that song about the little boy who’s trying to buy new shoes for his mom in case she dies and meets Jesus on Christmas Eve.

    P looked at me and said, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, but I have serious concerns about your listening habits. Why would you listen to any of that?”

    It’s a valid point.

    However, he doesn’t know that I’m the same girl who spent much of Christmas 1987 listening to Dolly Parton sing Hard Candy Christmas over and over again on my York stereo with cassette player while I cried over a breakup with a boy whose name I can barely even remember now. I felt like Dolly and I were united in our feeling of barely getting through tomorrow, but committed to not let sorrow bring us down.

    Which is more than I can say for Dwight Yoakum.

  • Jumping the Christmas shark

    I thought I’d go into excruciating detail about how we spent the rest of our Thanksgiving weekend, but I can hardly remember. I think it was Saturday before I regained consciousness from my whipped cream hangover and all I really know is that we watched a tremendous amount of college football. Between all the close games and the amount of butter contained in most holiday casseroles, I can only imagine that it proved to be a banner weekend for cardiologists all across the United States.

    About noon on Friday, P decided that he was going to head down to the ranch to spend the night. I asked him if he had any interest in getting the Christmas decorations down from the attic for me before he left. And so he did. Even though it’s his personal belief that the last weekend of November is too early to decorate for Christmas. In fact, he told me that I jump the shark on Christmas decorating every year. I think what he was trying to say is that I jump the gun on decorating. Jumping the shark would imply that I might pay the neighborhood children to perform a living nativity in our front yard every night from now until Christmas.

    Which now that I think about it, PURE AWESOME.

    So maybe I’m inclined to jump the gun AND the shark.

    After P left, Caroline and I began to go through all the decorations. Everything appeared to be accounted for except for my MERRY AND BRIGHT sign. And I’m trying not to take that as a sign of things to come. I plan to enjoy the Christmas season with my MERRY AND BRIGHT firmly intact.

    I managed to get most of the inside decorated and even made a quick run to Michaels in the midst of Black Friday madness to look for turquoise ribbon. It totally paid off because I found the perfect ribbon for 70% off. I also bought a wreath hanger that’s too small for our front door and some pink glitter ribbon that called to me from the aisles.

    (I don’t know why I think you care about any of this. The ribbon! It’s fascinating!)

    (Their frames were also 60% off and I nearly bought two black ones and then I didn’t because it’s Christmas and I felt guilty buying things for myself and now I regret that I didn’t just buy them. Why do I overthink everything?)

    Caroline and I took a brief break from all the football and Christmas decorating to go see Tangled in 3-D Saturday afternoon. We both absolutely loved it. And then we ate Mexican food with Mimi and Bops because leftover turkey was dead to me and I hadn’t had Mexican in over six days. Well, unless you count that A.J. and I met at Cafe Salsita for breakfast earlier that morning. But that’s breakfast and it’s different from dinner. And now I’m just stating the obvious.

    Night is different from day. The moon is different from the sun. Brad Pitt before Angelina Jolie is different than Brad Pitt after Angelina Jolie.

    Sunday morning we went to church and then I attempted to take a Christmas card picture of Caroline. The verdict is still out on that whole process, but I’ll keep you posted. Then the time came to go get our Christmas tree.

    Mimi and Bops always do the tree thing with us. We all meet at the lot, load both trees up in P’s truck and then take their tree back to their house before we head home and attempt to get our tree to stand up straight. This process is met with varying success each year. It’s the whole getting the tree to stand up straight that has been the cause of marital stress in years past. Apparently one of us has a hard time knowing what a straight tree looks like.

    I’ll go ahead and admit that I am that person.

    Me: “OH! That’s it! Just like that! PERFECT!!”

    P: “Ok. It’s all tightened down.”

    Me: “Well, now I think it may need to go a little bit more to the left. Or maybe it’s the right.”

    And this scenario tends to cause a bit of frustration.

    But this year we got smart and realized the advantages of child labor.

    Oh sure. She tried to complain that she was too tired to help after we made her carry the tree in on her back, but what’s the point of having kids if not to get the benefits of free labor?

    Just wait until we make her hang the outdoor lights later this week while we threaten that Santa won’t come if the house isn’t properly illuminated.

    Speaking of proper illumination, after we secured the tree in an upright position, I began to wrap the whole thing in lights before we hung any ornaments. Last year I read somewhere, probably Sadomasochist Monthly, that it’s better to string the lights vertically on the tree instead of wrapping them around the tree. True to form, I have no recollection of why this is supposed to be better but yet I did it anyway because some person in some article I can’t remember said it was the best way to do it.

    And I have to disagree with that unknown person in the unknown article because now I appear to be short by at least two strands of lights. Caroline and P tried to convince me that it doesn’t matter because it’s just the back part of the tree and no one will notice.

    But how am I going to jump the shark this Christmas if I don’t have a tree with a maximum display of wattage?

  • A Thanksgiving day in the life

    Here is a brief rundown of how I spent Thanksgiving, complete with a timeline.

    8:45 a.m. – Praise the Lord. Caroline just woke up and is happy to curl up next to me and watch some hideous movie about Barbie leaving for Paris after a break up with Ken and trying to save her Aunt Micheline’s fashion line.

    At least that’s what my sub-conscious absorbed as I drifted back to sleep until I remembered I had to finish cooking some side dishes.

    (On a sidenote: I cannot say the words “side dishes” without thinking about an old episode of South Park where one of the characters is served a plate of waffles and he says, “Am I to understand there will be no side dishes?”)

    (I don’t know why I think that’s so funny.)

    9:27 a.m. – Get out of bed. Put broccoli-rice casserole in the oven.

    9:31 a.m. – Make whipped cream. Possibly lick both beaters clean and eat another enormous spoonful before I hide it from myself in the back of the refrigerator.

    9:42 a.m. – Start thinking about the whipped cream again. Might have pulled it back out and eaten another spoonful.

    9:51 a.m. – Roast butternut squash because Caroline has been obsessed with all the squash varieties and begged me to make some.

    10:16 a.m. – Worry that maybe the whipped cream isn’t sweet enough. Take another taste just to make sure. It’s all about whipped cream quality.

    10:20 a.m. – Realize I have made a strategic cheese error with the broccoli-rice casserole and it has more of a soup-like consistency. Cook more rice in an effort to compensate for the superfluous cheese.

    10:32 a.m. – Look at all the Black Friday specials on the internet and realize that bargains aren’t important enough to get me out the door at 4 a.m.

    10:57 a.m. – Cut up brussels sprouts to make Bobby Flay’s pomegranate brussels sprouts recipe.

    11:06 a.m. – Begin to get the seeds out of the pomegranate.

    11:08 a.m. – Man, these pomegranate seeds are juicy little suckers.

    11:11 a.m. – Change my shirt so I could let my other shirt soak in stain remover in hopes of removing the pomegranate juice.

    11:22 a.m. – Pull the brussels sprouts out of the oven. P walks in and asks if someone has left a dirty diaper in our kitchen.

    Clearly he is not a fan of the sprout.

    11:30 a.m. – Realize we needed to be at Mimi and Bops’ house in thirty minutes. Tell Caroline to go get dressed.

    11:32 a.m. – Put on makeup, curl my hair even though it doesn’t stand a fighting chance against the 112 % humidity.

    11:46 a.m. – Walk in Caroline’s room to find her walking back and forth through her beaded curtain. While wearing her pajamas.

    11:47 a.m. – I think I blacked out.

    11:48 a.m. – Yell, “WE NEED TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!”

    11:52 a.m. – Walk back in the kitchen to finish the butternut squash puree. Caroline comes in to taste it and declares she is not a fan. It would have been nice to know that at 9:51 a.m.

    12:16 p.m. – Arrive at Mimi and Bops’ house. Immediately regret that I wore a jacket and my tall boots. The 80 degree weather is not cooperating with my sartorial selections.

    12:35 p.m. – My sister and I jump around like idiots trying to get our children to smile for a picture that Mimi and Bops can use for their Christmas card.

    12:38 p.m. – Realize the smiles only get more fake and the eleven month old only gets more whiny as the minutes tick by.

    12:39 p.m. – Decide that surely we had something that could pass as a Christmas card photo.

    12:45 p.m. – Ate lunch until we were all sick.

    1:00 p.m. – Decide we all had room for dessert.

    1:30 p.m. – I think I blacked out.

    4:45 p.m. – I rally as a cold front begins to blow through town. Hallelujah.

    6:00 p.m. – Realize it is time to get my game face on.

    6:10 p.m. – Shower, put on flannel pajama bottoms and lucky A&M shirt. Heat up leftovers in spite of all our earlier claims that we’d never eat again.

    6:55 p.m. – Begin to hyperventilate and talk very loudly.

    7:00 p.m. – GAMETIME.

    7:10 p.m. – Watch the game and begin to text furiously with various friends in between throwing decorative pillows and trying not to say words that aren’t Sunday School friendly.

    8:15 p.m. – Aggies finally score a touchdown. I’d like to think that the fact I punched my couch repeatedly as Cyrus Gray ran down the field helped tremendously.

    8:16 p.m. – Sophie texts me and tells me she and Sister are cheering for the Aggies and even willing to get out the vacuum if needed, which always works when her Bulldogs play. I shed a tear at the display of devotion.

    9:06 p.m. – CYRUS GRAY!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!!

    9:20 p.m. – FUMBLE!!!! OH NO!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!! Maybe it will help if I eat some chocolate pudding.

    9:28 p.m. – These announcers are on my last nerve. They all are in the midst of a bromance with the t.u. quarterback and Mac Brown.

    9:32 p.m. – VON MILLER!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Gulley texts me and says if she ever has another son, she’s going to name him Von.

    10:08 p.m. – I am now texting things like “I’m SICK. I FEEL SICK” and “TERRIBLE CALL! THAT WAS A TERRIBLE CALL!” Sophie texts me and says she has just walked into her kitchen. I know this is her solution when a situation looks dire.

    10:14 p.m. – WE HAVE TO GET A THIRD DOWN. WE HAVE TO GET A THIRD DOWN. I FEEL SICK. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE.

    10:17 p.m. – Tannenhill fumbles. I am dead. I die. WAIT! HE GOT IT BACK. HE FELL ON THE BALL! I WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY.

    10:25 p.m. – We punt the ball, the last five seconds tick off the clock and I begin to breathe normally for the first time in the last three and a half hours. GIG ‘EM AGGIES!

    10:27 p.m. – Resist urge to write, “Dear Longhorns, Good luck in your bowl game. Oh, that’s right. You’re not going to a bowl game.” on my Facebook wall. Because I’m trying to be the bigger person.

    10:32 p.m. – Decide to eat a celebratory helping of chocolate pudding with extra whipped cream.

    10:40 p.m. – Bops calls me to confirm that the Aggies won the game before he watches it. He has learned that he can’t handle the stress or time commitment of watching his favorite teams play unless he knows for sure that they win. So he records them on the DVR and watches the game after he knows the outcome. Unless they lose. Then he deletes the game and saves himself the stress.

    The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

    10:45 p.m. – Going to bed. I have worn myself flat out.

    10:56 p.m. – Say a prayer of gratitude for all my blessings. My family, my friends, cold weather, the Aggie win, and another year filled with so much more good than bad. And for y’all.

    Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

    GIG ‘EM AGGIES!!!!!

    (I promise I won’t use this many exclamation points again. Until our bowl game.)

  • The giving of the thanks

    I’m going to take the next two days off because I went to the grocery store yesterday and it almost killed me.

    And the worst part is I have to go back again.

    I hope y’all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with family, friends and your favorite foods!