Last Thursday, we finally managed to get our outdoor lights up. And, really, there is nothing as rewarding as knowing you’re putting all that time and effort into something that will be irrelevant in less than two weeks.
Lucky for us, we have a four year old that we can put to work.
She acted like she wasn’t going to climb up the extension ladder and we had to remind her the lights weren’t going to hang themselves.
Seriously kid, there is no way you’re going to get those eaves lit up if you don’t get your little behind on that ladder.
We don’t tolerate slackers.
After all, the whole reason we put the lights up is to ensure she has the BEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES EVER.
And that’s a lot of responsibility for a parent.
In all honesty, P and I decided hey! let’s spend the afternoon doing something that has the potential to put us on the fast track to marital counseling.
Hanging the outdoor lights seemed like the most obvious choice.
I made the executive decision to buy all new colored lights this year because Caroline enjoys the colored light, and I really wanted to go retro with the lights of ye olden days, otherwise known as my childhood.
I showed P the boxes of lights I purchased and he began to spend precious minutes, minutes that could be spent illuminating our home, reading the instructions.
Seriously.
I didn’t even know Christmas lights came with instructions.
He said, “It says that you can only string 60 lights together at one time, that means only two strands can be connected.”
Me: “And?”
Him: “Well, that means to do the house the way you want it done, we’re going to need about 11 extension cords.”
Me: “And the problem with that is?”
Him: “To do that we’d need to go buy 8 new extension cords.”
Me: “Those directions don’t know what they’re talking about. All the boxes say that. It’s just a suggestion. A GUIDELINE, if you will.”
Him: Looks at me skeptically and begins hanging lights.
Pretty soon he got into the whole spirit of proper outdoor illumination. The beauty of lighting your home with Christmas lights is to have the moment of flipping the switch a la Clark Griswold, then basking in the glow of maximum wattage feeling the sense of pride from a job well done.
And knowing your lights are so much better than your neighbor’s.
That’s the true spirit of Christmas.
The moment isn’t the same if it involves plugging in 11 different extension cords.
So, we climbed ladders and hung lights until, finally, the moment arrived. We plugged in those bad boys, flipped the switch and they all came on.
For about two minutes.
And then this is what we saw.
Apparently, they are not kidding about the whole 60 lights maximum thing.
So we did the only thing that could be done, went inside and ordered sushi.
The next day P found some extension cords, revamped our lighting system, and lo and behold, we have this.
Best of all, we get to enjoy it for a WHOLE WEEK.